Chapter 11

Brendan walked hastily out of the bathroom and looked at his watch. Dammit, it was already seven fifty. He would come too late if he didn't hurry. He walked off of the stairs, into the living room, meanwhile pulling his jacket over his shirt. He walked towards the table, were Cheryl was sitting, and grabbed his keys which were lying on the counter.

"Good morning sis," he said hurriedly while taking the toast from her plate and taking a bite.

"Hey, I was eating that," she said semi-annoyed, it wasn't the first time Brendan stole her food.

"I'll make it up to you later," Brendan promised as he walked towards the door.

"Where are you going this early?" Cheryl asked.

"I've got to go, otherwise I'll be late."

"Where do you possibly have to go at this hour?"

Brendan had already opened the door and paused for one moment so he could look at her.

He smirked, ignoring her question, and said: "I'll see you at the club."

He heard Cheryl calling his name, but he didn't respond, instead he just left the house and closed the door behind him. He really had to hurry if he still wanted to make it in time.

Brendan walked down the stairs just in time to see Steven turn up from around the corner. Steven past the stairs without noticing him and Brendan speeded up his pace to catch up with him. Once he had reached Steven he slowed down his pace and adapted Steven's so they could walk in the same tempo, next to each other.

Steven turned his head so his eyes could meet Brendan's and he asked him: "Is something the matter, Brendan?"

"No, I'm just going to my work," Brendan answered.

Steven arched an eyebrow. "Then let me ask you another question. What is the matter that you are walking towards your work with me?"

"I thought let's give you the pleasure of my company as our work is in the same direction anyway."

Steven smiled slightly, a corner of his mouth turning up.

"What?" Brendan asked, with a playful sparkle in his eyes.

Steven chuckled and said: "You're really unbelievable."

Brendan grinned and said: "I know."

Steven rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed on his place when he said: "The worst part is that you actually see that as a compliment."

By the time Steven said that, they had stopped walking and were standing in front of the deli.

"So I guess this is the part where I wish you a nice day and we separate our ways," Brendan said, amusement covering his voice.

Steven's eyes never wavered from Brendan's as he spoke: "Right. Well, I hope you have a nice day too."

Brendan nodded at Steven, turned around and started walking towards Chez Chez.

"Oh I will," Brendan muttered to himself with a smirk on his face, "I will."

xXx

Ste entered the deli and… immediately lost his good mood.

Doug was already there, preparing the food for today. They hadn't talked after their fight yesterday. He supposed that had been for the best because it probably would have led to a new fight. Doug hadn't returned after he had walked out of the deli and Ste had had to run the deli on his own the whole day. It had been busy so he had to work very hard to get everything done, but at least it had kept his mind off of things.

Luckily it was Tuesday and that meant that he would have the afternoon off. Every week he would have the Tuesday afternoon off and Doug would have the Wednesday afternoon off.

But it still would be a long morning.

Doug kept on working, apparently oblivious to the fact that Ste had entered. Or Doug was just ignoring him, that was another possibility. Ste looked at Doug, he seemed nervous and tense. The last possibility was more likely.

Ste walked away from the door and to the other side of the deli so he could grab his apron. He walked with extra noise, just to check if he would get a reaction from Doug. Doug kept on looking at his work, but Ste knew for sure that Doug must have heard him. So Doug was ignoring him. Well if that's what Doug wanted. Then he could do the same.

It was busy that morning. Ste was happy with that for two completely different reasons. Firstly it meant that he didn't have to be alone with Doug for most of the time. Doug did the interacting with the customers and he worked on the food, so they only talked when it was really necessary. Secondly it meant that the deli made a lot of money that morning, just as yesterday. His life may be very complicated right now, but that was at least something to be happy about.

Ste looked at the clock every few minutes, this made the time only pass slower. But eventually the large hand past the twelve and it became afternoon. Ste sighed weary, but relieved. Only one hour left then he was finally allowed to leave.

Ste glared longing outside, it really had been a horrible, long and boring morning. He stiffened when he saw a very familiar figure walk past the window. Please not now, Ste thought. He turned his head away, against all odds hoping that Brendan would just walk on and leave him alone. He heard the door open up and familiar footsteps which were walking in his direction. An ache started in his head, but at the same time he felt the butterflies in his stomach. God, how could you be so happy and so annoyed to see someone at the same time?

It had been the same this morning, when Brendan had suddenly started to walk next to him. On one hand Ste had been happy to see him, it was stupid but somehow it had felt like he hadn't seen Brendan in a very long time, while in fact it had only been yesterday morning. On the other hand he had wanted to walk on as quickly as possible, lately he felt so nervous when he was around Brendan. Fortunately he had been able to pretend that there was nothing wrong. Although his blood had started to flow faster through his body when Brendan hadn't just walked past him, as Ste had expected, but had slowed down his pace so he could walk next to Ste. And even his heart had started to beat harder because the man he loved was so close that he could touch him, without really being able to touch him. But he couldn't and wouldn't let Brendan know that he had such a big influence on him, so Ste had pretended like nothing was wrong. He had pretended like it was completely normal that Brendan had started walking next to him while it actually had been very strange.

It hadn't been the first time that they bumped in to each other while they were both walking towards work, but normally Brendan walked past him, most of the times he didn't even greet Ste. And now they had had a whole conversation. A weird conversation, that much was true, but still a conversation. Brendan had even managed to make him laugh, to make him forget all of his problems for a while. Just like the old days. When there hadn't been so much that was standing between them.

Ste lifted his head and caught Brendan's eye. Sometimes he really wondered if Brendan knew what was going on in his head so intense he looked at him sometimes, so intense he looked at him right now.

"Hi Brendan, what can we do for you?"

Ste almost jumped out of his skin. For a moment he'd forgotten that Doug was here. Brendan looked strangely at him, apparently he had noticed Ste's startled response, before he shifted his gaze to Doug.

"Let me think, last time I was here, you made some great ham sandwiches and the time before that you made me some great jam sandwiches so I think I want both this time."

Doug nodded reluctantly and said: "Then we will make both for you."

"Good," Brendan said, moving his gaze back to Ste.

The door opened and a few customers entered the deli.

Doug walked towards the customers to greet them.

Brendan bended his head slightly to the left and kept on looking at Ste. Ste looked back and he could almost feel the tension increase. It felt like Brendan was looking for something. Like he was searching for some kind of answer in his eyes. Eventually he seemed to find whatever he was looking for, cause Brendan broke off their eye contact and shifted his gaze to Doug, who was walking in their direction again.

"Shall I help Brendan?" Doug proposed: "Then you can help the other customers."

Before Ste could respond, Brendan said: "Steven will help me."

"But…" Doug started to protest.

"Do you have any problem with that?" Brendan asked, cocking up an eyebrow.

"I just thought that…"

"Just leave it Doug," Ste snapped irritated. The whole morning Doug had been ignoring him and then suddenly he started talking to him when Brendan was here. And then he wanted to tell him what to do as well? Doug could get stuffed. "The customer is always right, remember? If Brendan wants me to make his sandwiches then I make his sandwiches."

"But…"

"There are customers waiting Doug," Ste said angry.

Doug looked at him for another moment before turning his back on him. He walked to the customers and started to take their orders.

Ste turned his head away from Doug just to find Brendan looking at him with an odd expression.

"What?" Ste snarled.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're not making my sandwiches because I want you to, but because Douglas doesn't want you to?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ste mumbled, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He stared at his nails.

"Don't ya?" Brendan responded: "Then why can't you look at me right now?"

"You're just imagining things," Ste lied, still not looking at Brendan. He started to work on the sandwiches, so he could continue avoiding those blue eyes that were studying him intensely.

"Am I?" Brendan asked as he took a step closer to Ste. "Then tell me, why were you so determined to make my sandwiches?"

"Because… it's just… you wanted me too," Ste said uneasy.

"And since when do you do what I want you to do?" Brendan asked.

Ste opened his mouth to respond, but Brendan held up his hand.

"Don't. I can see when you're about to lie Steven, and you're about to lie right now. Don't waste my time by saying things you don't mean." Brendan moved even closer, so close that his body touched the counter. "I rather hear the truth. So, tell me what's going on between the two of you."

Ste considered telling Brendan about his problems with Doug for a second. It was tempting. He wanted to talk with someone about it so badly. He wanted to tell somebody and somehow Brendan seemed the right person to tell. He had so much on his mind right now and maybe Brendan could help him solve one of those problems. But he couldn't tell him, could he? What good would it do if Brendan knew? Ste looked at Doug who was helping the other customers. It wasn't the time and the place anyway.

Ste shrugged, trying to make Brendan believe that nothing important was going on, that he was fine. "It doesn't matter. Everything is fine and even if it wasn't, then it wouldn't be any of your business."

Brendan's eyes wandered over his face.

"Yes, it is. You just got me involved by using me as something to get him mad, to annoy him. Why?"

Ste finally looked up. "I'm not trying to get anyone mad. Why do you think something is going on anyway?"

"Maybe I just noticed the difference. This morning, when you were alone with me, you were laughing and you were in a good mood. Now you're here with Douglas, you're grouchy and irritated."

"I'm not-" Ste started offended.

Brendan arched an eyebrow.

"Alright maybe I am, but this morning was one of those few occasions that you amused me. This is one of those many occasions that you annoy me. That I'm grouchy and irritated is because of you, not because of Doug. Doug and I are perfectly fine."

"Who are you trying to convince of that? Me or yourself?"

Ste had the tendency to throw the sandwiches at Brendan's head, but he changed his mind cause that would only confirm Brendan's conclusion that something was going on. Instead, he grabbed the sandwiches which were ready, put them on a paper plate and lifted them over the counter so Brendan could take them.

Brendan reached out his hand so he could take the sandwiches. He grabbed the paper plate at his base, the same place were Ste held the plate, and his fingers touched those of Ste. Ste felt an electric shock at the place were Brendan's fingers touched his. Ste stiffened and looked down to the place where their fingers met. He waited till Brendan would pull away, but when he didn't, Ste slowly looked up, his eyes meeting those of Brendan. He swallowed nervously and felt the butterflies return in his stomach when he saw the way Brendan looked at him. His deep dark blue eyes smoldered. Ste could almost feel the heat in Brendan's eyes, eyes that looked at him with unbridled desire.

Ste lowered his gaze, trying to break the intensity of the moment and pulled away his hand.

Without looking at Brendan, he said: "That's four pounds, please."

Brendan took some money out of his wallet and Ste took it, making sure that their fingers didn't touch again.

Ste put the money in the pocket of his apron, he would put it in the desk later. He grabbed a cleaning cloth and started to clean the counter thorough, just to have something to do. He could feel Brendan's eyes all over him, watching every move he made, but Ste didn't lift his head.

Suddenly he felt warm air touch his face and Ste looked up. His eyes widened. Brendan had placed his hands on the counter and was leaning forward, so close that Ste could see the wrinkles in Brendan's forehead and he could smell Brendan's aftershave.

"You can lie to yourself as much as you want, but I know you're not okay," Brendan said picking up the conversation as if nothing happened just now.

"Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not okay," Ste admitted, tired of denying what was obvious. "But why would you care? Why would you care if I wasn't okay?"

"You still don't understand, do you?" Brendan replied.

"Understand what?" Ste asked, oblivious to the fact that he had placed his hands on the counter and was leaning forward, closer to Brendan.

"That I would go to hell and back for you, even knowing how much you hate me right now."

Brendan thought… Ste blinked surprised. Brendan had no idea how far he was away from the truth.

"I don't… I don't hate you," Ste muttered and his eyes softened.

Brendan looked at him with an unreadable expression. Ste swallowed, unable to speak, but also unable to take his eyes off of Brendan. Brendan let his eyes rest on Ste for a moment longer, as if he wanted to assure himself that Ste meant the words he had just spoken. After that he stepped backwards and left the deli.

Ste pushed himself off the counter and let go of his bated breath. Always when he was this close to Brendan he felt like he couldn't breathe. Not in an unpleasant way, but in a way that if he would make any move, he would break the intensity of the moment they shared.

Ste focused his eyes on Doug, who was still helping some customers. Apparently Doug had been oblivious to what had just happened between Brendan and him. Apparently he hadn't heard the things they had said. Sometimes Doug was so blind.

Ste looked at the door where Brendan had walked through only seconds ago.

He furrowed his brow. Everything was so confusing. Until three days ago he had thought that he had what he had always wanted. He had a boyfriend who loved him. A relationship out in the open. But now… He doubted everything. His relationship. His love for Doug. He loved Doug, but how could it be that he also loved Brendan? That he only had to see Brendan and his heart started to beat faster? That Brendan only had to look at him and he felt the butterflies in his stomach? Things he didn't feel when he looked at Doug. Ste ran a hand through his hair. He felt so confused. Brendan didn't make it any better by looking at him like that, saying things like that. It made him doubt everything even more. Everything was complicated enough without Brendan saying that he would go to hell and back for him. Ste closed his eyes. What had he meant with that anyway? Did that mean that he still cared for Ste? That Brendan still cared even after he had set him up and stole 80.000 grand from him? Did that mean that Brendan still loved him? Ste shook his head. He couldn't think about that now. He already had enough problems.

Ste looked at the clock on the wall. Only thirty minutes left, then he could leave the deli. He sighed weary. He would be happy to get out of here.

xXx

Brendan left the deli and paused for a moment.

"That I would go to hell and back for you, even knowing how much you hate me right now." He hadn't said it because he thought Steven hated him. Cause he knew Steven didn't hate him, he knew. It was just that he had wondered how Steven would react to his words, what he would say. "I don't… I don't hate you". The way Steven had spoken those words, it send shivers down his spine thinking about it. There had been surprise and some kind of sadness in Steven's eyes cause Brendan had every reason to think he hated him. But those words. Steven had spoken the words with a tenderness that people only use when they talk to someone who they care about, who they love. Steven still loved him. He already knew that, but it was different to hear Steven say it. It hadn't been a love declaration, but in some strange way he had heard the love behind those words, and maybe that made those simple words worth more than every penny he had ever had. Brendan turned his head to the right, so he could look through the window of the deli, so he could look at Steven. There had been another reason why he had said those words. "That I would go to hell and back for you." He had meant those words. He would go to hell for Steven. He would do it without a second thought. If it was for Steven, he would do it. It always seemed so obvious, but somehow Steven always seemed to forget. He had just wanted to remind Steven that he would do anything for him. In some weird kind of way, he'd wanted to remind Steven that he still loved him, even though he couldn't say that out loud. Not with everything going on.

Yesterday he had also noticed that something was going on, that Steven was hiding something from him. But now he knew for sure. Something had happened between Steven and Douglas. Something bad. They had almost started fighting in front of him. Their relationship was slowly falling apart, that much was obvious. He only had to find out what exactly had happened. And he would find out, it was only a matter of time.

Brendan looked at his watch. Only thirty minutes left till Steven would be free. Thirty minutes till Steven would go and get a coffee. Brendan took a bite of his ham sandwich and headed to College Coffee.

Reviews are always welcome :)