Author's Note: Firstly, a massive thank you to everyone who has stuck around with this story! It's been exactly a year since I posted it and you've all been so incredibly kind to me on this journey. So thank you! Secondly, this is a huge chapter (about 20,000 words when usually they're only around 10,000-14,000) so please take your time. Don't forget to sleep :) There is a second author's note at the bottom, to try and quell any worries about future chapters you may have.

Day 4 of the 12 Days of Witchyness

Warnings: This chapter is an emotional roller coaster and deals with a lot of grief relating to past character deaths. Not just Sango, but all of them. There are also graphic depictions of anxiety attacks, although some of them are stopped prior to being bad. If you have questions or concerns, or wish to know more before reading, don't hesitate to message me here or on tumblr. Please be safe, friends.


That Flesh of Mine

Chapter Eleven

It takes a lot to find your way back far from home. But sticks and stones won't break our bones, no. So struck your fire in the darkest night to let me know we might come down but not alone.

(Follow, Blasterjaxx)


She didn't look any different.

But she was different.

Kagome stared at herself in the mirror, at the bags under her eyes and the sharp paleness of her skin. She was exhausted. Even the extra nap with Sango that morning hadn't really been enough to make up for the rat demon attack. And now… Now, she was sitting with Kaede and Inuyasha and learning that she was different.

More powerful, maybe.

A beacon for demons, definitely.

But not because she was priestess. It didn't make sense.

Sighing, Kagome turned on the tap and washed her hands. She and Inuyasha would be leaving, hopefully grabbing some sort of food on the way back. She was starving and it was past lunchtime. There had to be something nearby they could grab. She turned off the lights and headed back into the living room, hearing the soft voice of the old woman talking to Inuyasha.

"Yeah, I understand," Inuyasha said, voice sharper than it needed to be.

Kagome frowned. "Understand what?"

Kaede turned to look at her, inclining her head. "That I've got to move to Sakura," she said. "My duty lies in helping you and if you'd let me, to train you. I've spent more than enough time with my sister to know what can help you hone your powers."

"Really?" Kagome smiled then, shocked but unsure of what else to do. "Are you sure? You don't have to. I mean, it would be great but–"

"It's already settled," the old woman said firmly, nodding. "Don't you worry about me. I've lived through more than you've yet seen."

Inuyasha was glaring at the floor, which Kagome found strange. He hadn't exactly been friendly to Kaede, but this was something else entirely. She just couldn't pinpoint what it was.

"That's great then," she replied finally.

There were more pleasantries and promises – Kaede said she would call once she was able to settle everything – but the two of them managed to leave the house pretty quickly. Inuyasha was silent, barely nodding his head as they said goodbye. Kagome waited until they were both back in the truck, buckled in with the engine running before she opened her mouth to speak.

"Wh–"

"Don't," Inuyasha interrupted.

Staring, Kagome had no idea what to do. "What?"

"Don't ask," he stated firmly, golden eyes locked on the road as they left the subdivision.

"But I don't get why–"

"Kagome."

He said her name. It was enough to make the question die in her throat, her eyes locked on the clench of his jaw and the tightness of his lips. Whatever the hell it was, it was serious. Kagome didn't know how to handle that, not from him. Inuyasha always seemed a little bit angry, a little bit on edge with the weight of the world on his shoulders. But this was more than that.

"Okay," she said eventually, voice barely more than a murmur. "Can I just ask one thing?" Inuyasha glanced at her briefly out of the side of his eye before grunting. She took it as an affirmative. "Whenever you can, whenever you're…fine or whatever. Can you tell me then?"

The half-demon's fists clenched around the steering wheel. His eyes never left the road. "Maybe."

That was likely as good as she was going to get. Kagome accepted it – for now – and twisted to look out the passenger side window, at the fields they drove by, the rows almost mesmerizing.

And then she remembered, turning back around to face him. "Can we please get some food? I'm starving."

Sighing loudly, the half-demon rolled his eyes before looking at her. It wasn't a sad look, or an angry look. It was normal, or as normal as the half-demon ever got around her. "Fine," he mumbled, "but you're buying."


Kagome felt her hand ache as she scribbled out the last of her math problems, trying to show her work in solving a stupid radical expression. She hated math, so much. Especially on Sunday nights, when she had to finish a massive amount of textbook questions in a short amount of time. Checking the clock, she saw that it was nine at night already. She tried not to groan, staring down at her paperwork. She had really wanted to get a head start on that geography project but that definitely wasn't happening tonight. She was better off packing everything up and dealing with it tomorrow at lunch.

It only took her a few moments, but she put her books and homework back in her bag, getting it ready for the next morning. She could hear her brother playing his usual rock music in the room next door, so she went downstairs to the living room. Her grandfather was there, just like he always was. And just like usual, he was watching the news.

"Can't you get hooked on watching some TV show?" Kagome asked, sitting down on the neighbouring couch and tucking her feet into the cushion. "There are a few good ones I could recommend."

"Your mother already says that to me once a day. Don't you start too," her grandfather replied, giving her the side-eye before waving at the television. "Besides, how else would I know about the murderer still wandering free just an hour away from us, huh?"

He always said things like that, every time. Kagome watched some of the news segment, trying to put together exactly what it was talking about. After the mention of a returning nephew, she narrowed her eyes. "Wait, is this the same guy that mysteriously came back from a trip after, like, a decade?"

"Same guy!" Grandpa exclaimed, clearly pleased that she remembered. "They even think that he murdered his great-aunt! They think it was over money, but I'm not so sure."

"Why not?"

"He had the money and it was only so much. The family wasn't rich so it wasn't like he could get more." Her grandfather huffed. "I think he wasn't the real nephew and it was all some scam that the lady caught onto. She went to get her money back and bam! They got her."

Raising a brow, Kagome looked at him with surprise. "You think it was a scam?"

"Everything else is, why not this?" Her grandfather held up his hand and pointed on his fingers as he spoke. "A teenager got tens of thousands of dollars off of some internet scam! Then there's all the government phone calls where they threaten to arrest you if you don't pay! Then there's the whole business scam with the CEO's asking their managers for more money for a 'special project.'" He waved his arms then, clearly disgruntled. "I mean, everything is a scam! This is why I don't like talking to people."

"Other than us, of course," Kagome replied, fully grinning at him. Maybe watching him was better than any other TV show.

"Well, obviously." Her grandfather sniffed haughtily, and for a moment, they simply sat in the living room and listened to the news. A lot of it was about politics, but it eventually rounded back out to a missing persons case in Wells, the town over.

"There's good news sometimes." The statement dragged her attention away, brought her gaze to the long, grey goatee he was stroking. "Like the police cat who brought down a crime lord."

That couldn't be true. "You're kidding me."

"I'm not."

"Grandpa, I think you've been watching far too much TV."

In the other room, Kagome heard her mother call for her. It sounded like she was yelling up the stairs, so she leaned forward as best as she could to see out the living room opening. "Mom, I'm over here!"

Her mother's kind face came into view, her gaze softening as she came in. "Did you finally get everything done?"

"Yeah," Kagome replied, ignoring the part of her brain that thought of her geography project. Whatever, she had wanted to work ahead. Just a little bit of cramming and she'd be fine. "Math took forever. Ms. Tanaka gave us like thirty questions on this new subject and I barely understand it."

"I hated math too," her mom confessed, nodding. "Your father was always really good at it. I never understood why."

"I'm good at math," Grandpa interjected, raising an unimpressed brow their way. "Why don't you ask me for help?"

Kagome could only imagine what that would be like. She laughed a little, thoughts swirling in her mind of her grandfather yelling and waving his arms trying to explain the concept of monomials to her. Yeah, it wasn't going to happen. "I didn't know that! Next time I get stuck, I'll come find you."

Sirens blasted on the news, some sort of emergency scene behind a reporter. Kagome spared it a glance but before she could learn more about it, her mother touched her arm. She smiled at her. "You okay?"

"Just wondering when you're going to get me that list," her mother answers, amusement in her eyes. "You know, the list you've promised me forever now."

Kagome groaned and leaned back into the couch. "There's still time!"

"It's a week away," she replied. "Sota loves telling me what he wants for his birthday."

"That's because he's young." Kagome waved an arm dismissively, remembering how her younger brother practically wrote a novel of every single thing he wanted. "I'm good with gift cards."

"Gift cards." Her grandfather snorted derisively. "What a crock."

She was definitely not going to argue with him about that again. Kagome looked at her mom helplessly. "Can I let you know by tomorrow?"

Sighing, her mom nodded. "But no later! Please?"

"Okay, Mom," Kagome answered. Her mother worked so hard, it was weird for her to ask for things. Kagome never really liked doing it. Sota was too young to remember, but she could recall the days when her mother was crying at night, or sitting at the kitchen table staring at a calculator and a pile of bills. Her grandfather was pretty much the reason they were able to stay afloat, until her mom was able to start making a living with her own at-home business. It took a while, but things were far more settled by the time Sota was old enough to really understand.

But Kagome knew.

"Are you sure you don't want to go out?" Her mother looked worried by the fact that Kagome just wanted to stay home and hang out with her family. It wasn't like she had ever had a big, wild party before. She preferred to just stay in and relax. It was less stressful that way. She'd probably have a McDonald's dinner with Yuka, Eri and Ayumi the day before and that was that.

"No, I'd rather be here." Kagome tried the most convincing smile she could, trying to hit home the fact that she really did want to be with them. "No one can beat your cooking."

Her mom scoffed but the corner of her lips pulled upwards, higher and higher.


Monday and Tuesday were…rough. It was the first time in the last two months that Kagome wanted to avoid Miroku and Sango. Not because they were mean to her or throwing around accusations, but because the two of them clearly weren't getting along. The first time she had lunch with them was beyond awkward – the dead silence, the refusing the look each other in the eye – and it didn't get any better hanging out with them in between periods. So Kagome avoided them completely on Tuesday, sticking to Yuka, Eri and Ayumi and listening to them ramble on about boys and music and the fun things girls her age should be talking about. She hated that a part of her couldn't stand the conversation, not when she knew the truth about demons and the very real danger they were all in.

At lunch on Wednesday, it was almost a shock to have Sango standing at her locker already waiting. The girl looked worse for wear, the bags under her eyes a little heavier than usual. She had a thick sweater and her hat on, so Kagome took that as a sign they were going outside. It wasn't warm, not any longer, but it was still above zero. It Sango wanted to go out then… There had to be a reason.

"Hey," Kagome greeted, trying her best to be cheerful. "How's it going?"

"It's going," her friend answered, shrugging and giving a tiny smile. "I'm feeling a lot better though."

There was sincerity in her tone, but Kagome barely believed it. Sango didn't look like she was any better. "Your stomach?"

"Yeah, it's getting there. I think I only woke up a couple times last night." Sango tapped at the straps of her backpack. "I have what's probably now lukewarm hot chocolate in a thermos. Did you want to eat outside with me?"

"Sure, I brought a coat today." Kagome tossed her books in and grabbed her lunch. She swung on her coat and followed the black-haired girl through the hallways, heading towards the back sports field.

"I have an extra hat if you want it. How were your classes so far?"

Kagome hid the frown that wanted to show. Sango brought hot chocolate and an extra hat? Kind of like she planned to have lunch like this, outside? Something must have been going on. She opened her mouth to ask if Miroku was at the bleachers already but barely held herself back. If Miroku was involved, surely he would be with them?

"Classes were fine, I guess," Kagome replied easily. "I have math later though so I'm really not excited for that. Ms. Tanaka's been assigning so much homework. It took me forever to do last night."

"Well if she assigns more questions, we can work on them together. I'm not great but Inuyasha's pretty good at that stuff."

"I feel like all I ever do is catch up on work," Kagome groaned. "When will it be over?"

"The holidays are like…a month and a half away?" Sango made a face, scrunching her nose and making Kagome laugh.

"That's not helpful!"

"Hey, I can only do so much," Sango replied, grinning. But the smile wasn't really there, not fully.

Kagome felt the first tendrils of anxiety slip its way into her bloodstream. She took a few deep breaths as they walked towards the bleachers outside, ignoring the cold and the way her heartbeat demanded to make itself known. Whatever was going on, she needed to be strong.

They sat down midway through the wooden benches. Sango opened up her backpack and pulled out a massive thermos. She handed it over to Kagome and then pulled out her lunch bag. She didn't unzip it though, instead staring at the thing like it was telling her a laundry list of secrets. She watched as her friend toyed with the zipper and didn't make a move otherwise.

"Hey," Kagome prodded gently, scooting over on the bleachers until their shoulders touched. Are you okay seemed like such a stupid question. The girl was far from okay. Licking her lips, she struggled to say anything until words finally just left her mouth, unbidden. "What's going on with you?"

At that, Sango snorted. She spared her a quick glance of seemingly wry amusement, but Kagome could see the glassiness of her eyes. "I hate talking about my feelings," Sango said then. To her credit, her voice barely trembled. Her fingers still deftly played with the lunch bag's zipper. "I…don't want to."

Kagome blinked, a little confused but nodded. "You don't have to–"

"But I'm pretty sure if I don't say anything, I'm going to explode. Or do something stupid, like chase down another demon by myself. Or maybe next time actually get myself killed." Her voice cracked at the end, and the magenta-eyed girl pointedly looked down. Kagome didn't need to see her face though to hear the tears. It broke her heart instantly and Kagome set the thermos down in front of her so that she could wrap her arms around her friend. Sango didn't move or cling back. She was frozen and petrified, and Kagome understood that more than the other girl probably knew.

"I'm not exactly a prize case when it comes to emotional stability," she said eventually, rubbing her hands up and down Sango's arms. "I mean, I have anxiety attacks that are nearly crippling. There are days I'm pretty sure I can't get out of bed. And…" Kagome blew out a long breath. "To be honest, I have no idea why I have them."

"The demons?" Sango's voice was quiet.

"No. I've had them since I was little and I've had a generally easy life. It seems really stupid when I say it out loud."

There was nothing but silence for a long while. Kagome kept up her hug, enjoying the warmth against the cold of the outdoors. There were so few students around that the field was near silent; the sounds of passing cars on the neighbouring road were the only real noise.

She didn't know how long they sat there like that, huddled and sad, before Sango lifted her head. She still didn't make eye contact, but her lips parted and her voice, when she spoke, was strong. "I've really messed up this time. I mean, I didn't think it could get worse than choosing homework over a demon hunt and letting my family all die. But somehow Inuyasha and Miroku–" She took a breath, the exhale shaky. "Somehow their disappointment is a billion times worse."

"I know you don't want to hear this – from me or anyone else probably – but your family's death wasn't your fault." Kagome shook her head. "We're all going to keep telling you that until you believe it."

Sango laughed but the sound was bitter in the air.

"But yeah, chasing after the demon wasn't your best move, and I'm probably your second biggest fan."

"Only second?" Sango sniffed and pulled back slightly. It was enough for Kagome to let go, to focus instead on the thermos and finally get it open.

Taking a sip, Kagome wondered if she should say the next bit. Would it make things better? Worse? Could it get any worse? She handed the thermos to Sango, making sure to look her dead in the eye. "You know who your number one fan is."

At that, Sango held her gaze for a long moment before taking a sip herself. She shrugged. "Probably not anymore," she answered quietly. "I've never seen him so mad at me. I mean, he won't even be in the same–" Sango choked up and forced herself to cough through it. She wiped at her eyes and there was no part of Kagome that didn't hurt. "He won't be in the same room as me. Not even for breakfast or dinner." She was almost whispering, so full of shame and despair it was like every part of her was trying to get smaller and smaller. "Going after the demon was a mistake but what I really fucked up was what I said to him. And to Inuyasha. To them both."

Kagome stole the thermos back but toyed with the lid before saying anything. "Have you tried talking to them? Like, cornering them somewhere and just…telling them the truth?"

"I've thought about it." Sango didn't give up more than that though.

"They're not going to be mad at you forever and I think they're more scared at the fact that they almost lost you." Kagome shrugged. "Inuyasha just seems unhappy. Not angry anymore."

Frowning, Sango gave her a quizzical look. "When did you see him?"

It was a half-second before Kagome understood and then she remembered. Sango and Miroku didn't know about their morning runs. Right. They didn't know that she saw him basically every day. She shrugged again, helpless. "I was talking about when we were in the car going to Kaede's. He didn't seem mad anymore. He seemed worried. I think he calmed down after the whole rat demon thing." To avoid saying anything else she'd regret, Kagome took a long drink of hot chocolate. It was still warm, despite the air and when it was made. She hummed a little and handed it back to her friend. "Just think about talking to them. Start with Inuyasha and…work your way up to Miroku, if you're that worried."

"Yeah, I guess." Sango took a drink herself and then stood up, grabbing at her bag. "Did you want to eat lunch inside? We still have time and it's colder out here than I thought."

There was still a sadness about her but when Kagome looked at her, the girl seemed less weighed down. It could have been her imagination but she hoped not. Kagome nodded and followed the girl back across the field, heading towards the building. They were uncharacteristically quiet but it was still comfortable. Kagome liked Sango, a lot. The girl had her baggage and faults, but she was just a genuinely good person. She tried. She cared. It was more than a lot of people did.

Suddenly, Sango stopped a few feet away from the doors and sighed loudly. It was a rough exhale and Kagome looked back at her worried. Before she could say anything though, Sango pursed her lips. "Look, I–" She huffed again and then took a few quick steps forward, wrapping Kagome up in a hug she definitely didn't expect. "It's not stupid," Sango said firmly, right by her ear. "Your anxiety. It's not stupid. And it's not stupid that you have it even though you don't think you've had it bad. That's not why people get anxiety anyways."

Kagome hesitated only a second before returning the embrace, knowing full well that this wasn't something to take for granted. She took a moment to respond, sure the smile on her face was a little goofy. Unexpected declarations seemed to get to her and the whole lunch period had been one big emotional roller coaster. "Thanks," she murmured gratefully.

The hug went on for a little while longer. Neither of them were counting.


Sango's words wouldn't leave her head.

Kagome sat through her art class in a bit of a daze, barely paying attention to anything that was happening. It was easier there; her good friends weren't in class with her, so she had time to process. It didn't get any better though once the bell had rung, signalling the start of fourth period. Both Yuka and Eri shared math with her and Kagome tried not to groan at the thought of listening to a teacher that clearly hated them all.

At least the day was almost over.

As Kagome walked towards Ms. Tanaka's class, she replayed her conversation with the magenta-eyed girl. There was so much pain in her. So much doubt and worry and grief. Kagome didn't know what to do for her, other than to just be there as much as she could. Miroku and Inuyasha couldn't be mad at Sango forever; eventually something would give. It had to.

Maybe tonight, Kagome could try to encourage it a little. They weren't going to be training so it would likely just be food and hanging out. Maybe the boys wouldn't force Sango to hide out in her room. Maybe…

'Maybe' a lot of things. Kagome sighed.

The moment she sat down beside Eri, her friend looked over at her, face morphing instantly into one of concern. "Hey, are you okay?"

"What happened?" Yuka asked, barely missing a beat.

"Oh, it's nothing," Kagome replied, trying for a smile. "I promise. I just have a lot on my mind."

Neither of them seemed to be buying it. Eri leaned forward, her dark gaze intent. "Like what?" she asked, not unkindly. "Is it your boyfriend?"

"He's–" Not my boyfriend, which she couldn't really say any longer. Not since she falsely let them think that. Dear god, that particular lie was the last thing she wanted to remember. "No, not him. I haven't been sleeping well," she pressed. Another lie. What was one more?

Class started, a lucky break that Kagome was thankful for. She listened to the teacher drone on, teaching them new math equations for more complicated problem sets. It took up most of the class but when it came time to assigning more work, Ms. Tanaka informed them that there wouldn't be any. Kagome blinked, surprised, looking at her friends for confirmation.

"This is the best day ever," Eri whispered.

"Shh, don't jinx it. There's still five minutes left," Yuka hissed. "She could change her mind."

They were given a handout sheet that involved filling in some formulas, but it was simple enough to finish before class ended. Everyone seemed to be in a fantastic mood, getting up early and chatting with their friends. Ms. Tanaka was helping a few students out but otherwise the day seemed to be done. They were just waiting for the bell.

"Why do you think she's being so nice?" Kagome asked, suspicious. "I mean, this is the first time she's ever given us no homework."

"Maybe she got laid," Yuka suggested in a loud whisper.

Eri rolled her eyes. "Isn't she married?"

"I don't know," her friend replied. "I'm just throwing ideas out there. Your guess is as good as mine."

Kagome hummed just as the bell went off, signalling the end of the day. They all headed towards their lockers and Kagome waved goodbye since hers was a bit further down. She wasn't in a rush anyways. Inuyasha wouldn't be picking them up until later.

"Hey! Kagome!"

Trying not to make a face, she turned around and smiled at Hojo, who was standing beside her nervously. He looked good – he always looked good – but his hands were clenching the straps of his backpack like he was preparing for something. Kagome had a hard time holding back a frown, confused. "Hey, what's up?" she asked, more than a little concerned.

"Not too much," Hojo replied. He grinned at her sunnily and just like that he seemed to relax, his death-grip gone lax. "Just heading to the Charity Ball meeting. Tickets go on sale tomorrow so we're making sure it's all ready."

Crap. Crap. Of course. The dance that all of her friends had been talking about since September. It was one of the school's biggest fundraisers and one of the most popular events. Everyone dressed up and the night was filled with dancing. It was almost like prom but anyone who bought a ticket could go, not just the seniors.

And Hojo was now awkwardly standing before her with a bright smile, even though he had been really nervous moments before.

Alarm bells started to go off.

Laughing a little, Kagome waved at him for absolutely no reason and then tried to bury herself in her locker, pretending to look for something. "Oh yeah!" she called out, maybe a touch too loudly. "You're on the planning committee, right? You must be so busy."

Could she text Sango an SOS message? Would Hojo notice?

"You have archery so I don't think I'm that much busier," he replied easily. Kagome could see him scuff the toe of his shoe since she was looking down, and not at his face. "Do you think you're going to go?"

"Oh, me?" Kagome looked at him for a moment before chickening out and looking back in her locker. She grabbed a textbook at random and shoved it in her bag. "I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out."

"Your boyfriend can't come." At that, Kagome glanced at him in surprise. Hojo seemed to realize how that sounded and then blushed, stammering a little. "I mean– That came out weird. I meant that because he's not a student here, he can't buy a ticket. So, you'd be going alone."

Was he trying to ask her out platonically? Hojo didn't seem like the meddling type and she had made it pretty clear to him in their shared history class that she was involved with someone. Hojo didn't like it, obviously, because he thought Inuyasha was mean and probably abusive. She couldn't change that perception though, not without the full truth. Even then, no one would believe her. But Hojo didn't seem like the type to ask out a girl who had a boyfriend already. That seemed really out of character.

But what if he was?

What if he asked and Kagome had to answer?

She couldn't risk it.

"I guess, yeah. If I went!" Kagome added quickly. She flashed him a smile. "Tickets go on sale tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah I–"

"Amazing! I'll check it out and see. Who knows? Maybe me, Yuka, Eri and Ayumi will all be each other's dates." Kagome laughed a little awkwardly and then looked at her phone like it was important. It wasn't; it was a blank screen but Hojo didn't know that. "Sorry, I have to go. My ride is here. I'll talk to you tomorrow, right? History class?"

He was clenching the straps of his backpack again, but Hojo was still smiling at her. "Yeah, I'll be there. Have a good night, Kagome."

"Bye Hojo!" She slammed closed her locker and booked it. It wasn't running but it was pretty close. She was around the corner in a flash, heading towards the side entrance. Her conversation with Hojo had delayed things but the buses would only be leaving around now. She still had time. Inuyasha probably wasn't even there yet.

Both Miroku and Sango were outside, leaning against opposite railings and not talking. They looked at her in near unison when she burst through the door, her coat in her hands and her backpack half-on. Leaving awkward conversations were the worst. She dropped her bag and went to put on her jacket, ignoring the twin looks of confusion.

"Are you okay?" Miroku asked slowly.

"Yes," Kagome sighed out. "Just avoiding Charity Ball dates."

"Wow, getting asked before tickets even go on sale." Miroku wiggled his eyebrows, his blue eyes dancing with mirth. "Go Kagome."

"It's not like that!" she promised. She leaned on the rail beside Sango and nudged at her shoulder playfully. "There's just this guy and my friends have been hounding me forever about him. He's really nice and all, but–" She shrugged. She'd never really been able to explain it properly.

Sango raised a brow at her. "Hojo, right?"

Groaning seemed to be the appropriate response. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back to the sky in defeat. "How do you know?"

Her friend gave a small smile, almost secretive. "He started talking to me in math class."

Kagome looked at her in horror. Oh no. She told Hojo that Inuyasha was a friend of Sango's. If he asked Sango about him, saying that Kagome said he was her boyfriend

And just like that, the familiar pick-up truck pulled right up to the door. Inuyasha's scowling face was visible and it made every part of her want to die.

"Finally," Miroku mumbled, rubbing his hands together. "I was getting cold."

"We could have waited inside," Sango answered, voice a little quieter than usual. It wasn't bold or matter-of-fact, like she was worried how the blue-eyed teen would take it.

Miroku shrugged but didn't otherwise answer. Kagome was about to comment on it to dispel the tension when suddenly the school doors behind them burst open and her name seemed to come from nowhere.

"Kagome!"

And then she recognized the voice.

Eri was smiling at her, Yuka and Ayumi right behind. She came right up and hugged Kagome, looking like a proud parent. "Did Hojo ask you out?"

"What?" Kagome looked frantically at Sango, then Inuyasha in the driver's seat, and then back to her friends in quick succession. This couldn't be happening. There was no way.

"Hojo! I saw him at your locker. We didn't want him to see us and get spooked but he looked all nervous and stuff approaching you. Did he ask you to Charity Ball?"

"Why would he ask me to Charity Ball?" Kagome asked, desperation making her grit her teeth. "Hojo knows I'm not interested."

"Told you," Yuka said in singsong, looking smug. "Hojo isn't going to go after another man's girl." Ayumi just looked resigned but she was smiling at Kagome, almost apologetically.

"Don't tell me you guys missed the bus home," Kagome exclaimed, unbelieving. "Why are you still here?"

"Well, we had to see what happened!" Yuka said, like it was obvious. "Plus, by the time you finished talking the buses were basically gone anyways. My mom's coming to get us."

"What about you?" Eri asked. "Don't you usually walk?"

"I think she's getting a ride," Ayumi said carefully. When the girls looked over at her, she was pointing towards the pick-up truck. Inuyasha's unhappy face was glaring at them still.

This was her nightmare.

"Oh my god, no way!" Yuka squeaked, all excited. "He came to get you?"

"To get us," Kagome answered, hating how short she sounded. "I'm hanging out with Sango and them tonight."

"He's cuter than I remember," Eri commented, humming thoughtfully. "And what colour is his hair, it looks so–"

"I have to go!" Kagome interrupted loudly, taking a big step back. "I'll see you tomorrow, guys! Have a good night! Good luck with the math homework!" There was no math homework. She was an idiot.

Jumping into the backseat with Sango, she focused really hard on shutting the door and putting her bag by her feet. She couldn't look up. Did Inuyasha hear any of that? Who was she kidding, of course he did. The half-demon could hear her breathing from the other side of the room. Did her friends say anything really obvious? She tried to backtrack through the conversation, but it seemed okay. Yuka suggested that Kagome was dating someone but didn't explicitly say who. Eri said he was cute. It could have been a lot worse.

"They're pretty excitable all the time, huh?" Sango asked. When Kagome dared to glance up, her friend was practically grinning. It reminded her of the fact that Hojo spoke to Sango about Inuyasha, and likely about Inuyasha and Kagome being in a relationship.

Oh god.

Did she ever actually say she was dating Inuyasha to Hojo? Or was it just heavily suggested? Kagome couldn't even remember, not between her conversation with him and with the girls.

"Yeah, you know. They get really excited every time a guy even looks at me."

Sango hummed and Miroku twisted in the seat to look at her, both eyebrows raised. "They were that excited about Hojo asking you out?"

"He didn't actually ask me," Kagome whined, wanting the conversation to be over. "They thought he did but he didn't. I wouldn't have said yes anyways."

Inuyasha had remained completely silent the whole time. Kagome desperately wanted him to say something, anything, just to get a read on him. How much had he heard?

The truck ride was almost unusually silent after that. Kagome wasn't sure if it was because the conversation had died, or because of the lingering tension between Sango and the two boys. It made the already anxious thoughts swirling in her head about Inuyasha and Hojo and her friends feel worse. Why was she lying all the time? Why hadn't she just set her friends straight when they asked if she and Inuyasha were dating? It seemed like such a great idea at the time but things could crash down at any moment. And did Sango know about her lie? If she did, why didn't she say anything?

Feeling worse and worse, Kagome stared hard out the window. She was always lying and it was going to catch up with her sooner rather than later. What would they all think of her when the truth came out? Not just Yuka, Eri and Ayumi, but Sango and Miroku? Inuyasha? They were her friends just as much as the other girls. In some ways, even closer. It sounded crazy but they knew things that no one else did. They had fought battles together and killed demons together.

And if this caused some sort of rift between them, and ruined anything, what would Kagome do? She couldn't do it without them by her side, helping her and teaching her. What would–

"Breathe, Kagome," Inuyasha snapped, his rough voice a sharp contrast to the wailing in her head. She took a deep breath, not realizing until she did so just how desperate for it she had become.

Kagome blinked and looked at his reflection in the rear-view mirror. His golden eyes were practically boring holes into her, before they slid away to look at the road. Sango was staring at her quizzically and leaned over, resting a hand on her leg.

"You good?" she asked quietly, concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. I'm good," Kagome murmured, making sure to count out her breaths in her head. It didn't make her feel any better, and the tension wasn't gone, but Sango's kind eyes were encouraging and Kagome knew she had to try to relax. "Did you know we weren't assigned any math homework today?"

"Really? I thought you were practically guaranteeing it," Sango replied.

Kagome shrugged. "Some sort of miracle."

The conversation helped to ease the anxiety somewhat, though the lump in her throat remained. She tried her best to smile and keep Sango talking, pushing aside the rest to deal with later. Up front, Inuyasha and Miroku were talking quietly amongst themselves. It was far more Miroku than Inuyasha, who didn't seem to really be responding at all. It was too hard to hear though and she wanted to give Sango her full attention.

When they pulled up to the house, everyone was pretty quick to exit. Kagome slid down and without thinking, grabbed at the sleeve of Inuyasha's sweater. She didn't want to draw any attention, but she had to say something. The half-demon's golden gaze found hers and she let go, feeling self-conscious. "Just…thanks," she murmured, "for helping me."

"Don't mention it," Inuyasha replied, shrugging like it was no big deal. His gaze remained a little bit longer before he abruptly spun around, following Miroku's path towards the house. Kagome went to the other side of the truck, waiting while Sango struggled a bit to get her backpack out without bothering her wound. She didn't make a sound but she couldn't hide the wince.

"I thought it was getting better?" Kagome asked, concerned.

Sango laughed, quick and sharp. "I almost didn't get out of the truck on Monday so yeah, this is definitely better."

Inuyasha was waiting just outside of the door, his face impassive as he watched the both of them trudge forwards. When they were close enough, he opened the door and entered, kicking off his shoes and disappearing before Kagome was even fully inside. She frowned, completely confused by his behaviour when Sango snorted.

"Yeah, he's been doing that. He's torn between making sure I suffer for my mistakes and making sure I don't actually pass out on the driveway from the pain."

There seemed to be something else, too, but Kagome didn't say it out loud.

"Did you want to just study in the living room?" Sango asked. "We can watch TV when we get bored."

"Yeah, that works. I don't have much to do; there's this geography assignment but it's due next week."

There were voices coming from the kitchen but Sango didn't seem inclined to go and speak with any of them. Had this been what the last few days were like, all four of them in the house and barely anyone talking at all? Or specifically, barely any of them talking to Sango?

Kagome looked at the magenta-eyed girl, who was slowly taking out one of the largest textbooks from her bag. No wonder she had planned to take Kagome outside to talk, hot chocolate and all. No wonder Sango felt like she was going to combust at any moment. For the first time, Kagome felt unreasonably angry, having half a mind to go into the kitchen and smack some sense into them all. Everyone was making mistakes left, right and centre, and pretty soon they would all fall apart – demons or no.

"Are you going to study?" Sango asked, breaking through the haze of frustration.

Kagome sighed, overdramatic. "If I have to."

"We could just watch TV and do nothing," her friend suggested, gesturing towards the remote.

It was tempting – really tempting – but Kagome shook her head. "I didn't have a chance to do this the other night so I should get started. We can stop before dinner."

They fell into a comfortable silence, each of them stretched out on their own couch with textbooks and notebooks around them. Kagome was flipping through one, trying to locate the specific plains she needed to discuss when Inuyasha walked over, phone in hand.

"Are you good with the same pizza we had last time?" he asked, glancing at both Sango and Kagome for confirmation.

Kagome nodded, still feeling that anger from earlier and not wanting to speak. When he left, she relaxed her shoulders and got back to work. She managed to get a fair amount of it completed before the doorbell rang. Miroku's voice echoed down the halls when he announced the pizza had arrived. Sango started packing up her books, tossing them in her backpack. "We'll probably eat in here and watch something," she said. Sango grabbed at the remote and turned on the television, the news already playing.

"Hey guys, what do you want to drink?" Inuyasha called out.

Sango turned around and eyed Kagome for a moment. "Do we have any club soda?" she asked, distracted.

"Me too, please," Kagome called out, managing to put the last of her stuff away.

Miroku came over then with the pizza boxes, a stack of napkins on top. "I think Inuyasha's getting plates too," he said, laying out the food.

"I've got them," Mushin said, suddenly appearing with a bunch in his hands. "What are we watching?"

"The news apparently," Sango murmured, grabbing the remote once more.

"…strange 911 call from the Barkeep, a local Wells eatery. Kisho Horikiri, reported two weeks ago as an official missing persons, was seen fleeing the scene. The victim was stabbed and authorities suspect Horikiri of the assault."

"Why is everyone missing and reappearing?" Kagome asked. "It's literally on the news every night. My grandfather has been going crazy about this story of some nephew who was missing for years suddenly reappearing and then killing his aunt."

Inuyasha dropped a few cans of club soda and coke down on the table, already frowning. "Didn't that old lady at the grocery store say the exact same thing?" He was looking at Miroku, who stood there in shock.

"Yeah, kind of." He frowned. "Mrs. Ohta's grandson was back after being in Europe for a few years. The family was estranged but he just returned out of the blue, wanting to be back in her life. This was only like three weeks ago."

The news had already cycled on to a different story but all of them were looking at each other, the coincidences too strong to ignore. Mushin was the first to speak, sounding a little off. "What was the name again?"

"Of the grandmother?" Miroku asked. "Mrs. Ohta. I don't know her first name. I've only seen her around town a bunch of times."

"She lived in Sakura though," Mushin prodded, waiting for an affirming nod before leaving the room. He came back a moment later, leafing through a newspaper until his face went grim. He flipped the paper around, showing them the bottom half. It took a moment for Kagome to read and realize what they were looking at. It was the obituary section and there were scattered photos here and there of people who had passed.

Miroku pointed instantly to one of the photos. "That's her. That's Mrs. Ohta. When–"

"This was from yesterday's paper," Mushin answered. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"No, of course." Miroku shook his head, clearly still in a bit of shock. "So there's been a demon running around our town for the last few weeks and we never noticed?"

Inuyasha grunted. "And running through Wells too, so it's constantly moving around. A shapeshifter demon, it has to be."

"Wait, I know that demon," Sango said suddenly, standing up from her seated position on the couch. She started to head towards her room. "The journals!"

"Grab them and bring them over," Inuyasha called out to her. "If we know what demon it is, we have a better chance of catching it before it hurts anyone else."

The moment she was out of the room, Miroku threw his hands up. "Another demon, really?"

"They're flooding Sakura," Mushin murmured, shaking his head. "I've never heard of anything like this."

"And Kagome shouldn't be what's attracting them. They shouldn't know of her existence, according to Kaede." Inuyasha spared a glance her way and Kagome tried not to fidget, unsure. The old woman's information seemed to add more questions than provide any answers.

"Then something else is attracting them, but they want Kagome out of the picture," Miroku mused. "Without her powers to purify them, who would really stand in the way with our family gone?"

Sango came back in with a handful of journals, already flipping through one. "I think it was in one of these. Dad never called it shapeshifting though." She handed one to Miroku and the other to Inuyasha. "I'm positive he wrote about it."

"Why don't we eat?" Mushin suggested, tapping lightly at each of their notebooks. "There's nothing we can do about the demon right this moment. Eat while the food is still hot."

They only sort of listened. Without a journal, Kagome grabbed a couple slices and started to eat. She wasn't really hungry – not anymore – but the pizza was good. The others were eating too, just a little bit slower. Miroku and Sango were still scouring through the journals, only pausing for a moment to take a bite out of slice before continuing.

"What will we do?" Kagome asked. "Once we know what type of demon it is, what's next?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Depends on the demon. Asato may have notes about what lures it, but I doubt it. Demons only want the same thing." He flexed his hand then, drawing Kagome's eyes to the sharp tips of his claws. "We'll just have to find it."

Chewing, she processed what he was saying. Surely there would be some way to get the demon's attention, to lure it into the woods where they could take it down without anyone else noticing. "Do you think it's coming after me?"

Inuyasha stared at her, lips pressed together like he was debating. Sango answered before he could say anything, her words coming out slowly. "I don't…think so? I mean, it's been around for weeks. If it was coming after you, it's doing a terrible job."

"Coincidence then?"

Sango nodded. "Probably. We still have to kill it though."

Suddenly, Miroku laid the journal he was holding onto the little table before them, flattening it out. He pointed at it. "What about transmogrify?"

"You found it?" Kagome asked, trying to get closer to see.

"I think so? Asato wrote about a lizard-like demon he encountered years ago on a hunt with a big group of other slayers, before they moved to Sakura. The demon could transmogrify into another person, like one moment it would be big and green and the next it could be anyone. Asato saw his father, but in the same battle, it had turned into one of the other slayer's dead friends."

"How does it know?" Sango asked, frowning. "How can it choose what form to take if it never knew the person it was transforming into?"

"Maybe it's not so much the demon transforming, as it is altering our perception," Miroku answered thoughtfully. "Maybe it releases some poison that messes with our brains, makes us hallucinate."

"Either way, it needs to die," Inuyasha stated. "Any way to trap it?"

Miroku shook his head, even as he scanned the pages yet again. "Nothing here. When Asato saw it the first time, he and the rest of the group had been circling it, and more or less forced it into an abandoned building where they took it down."

"Which we can't do since we're only four people."

Miroku nodded, his right hand clenching into his leg. "We'll figure something out."

Kagome had no idea what they would do. She finished off her slice and sat there, debating. Sango nudged at Miroku to get her more food, the action catching her eye. Miroku hesitated for a moment but did it, grabbing her plate to toss on another slice. Kagome felt herself relax at that, knowing just how much that probably meant to the girl.

Maybe things would get better, easier. Maybe Sango would actually talk to him tonight.

They weren't perfect, but they could get there.

Inuyasha spared her a glance, looking confused for absolutely no reason at all. She hadn't said a word, hadn't done anything strange but eat her pizza. In the quiet of the living room, she could have asked. Instead, she leaned further into the couch cushions and just tried to relax.

They would figure it all out.

They would be fine.


Kagome waited at Sango's locker the next morning, wanting to know what happened when she left to go home. They hadn't done all that much after food; watching some TV, debating on watching a movie for a long while until Kagome determined she had to go home. Sango hadn't been talking, per se, to Miroku or Inuyasha, but they hadn't shunned her either. It seemed like a step up.

When Sango came around the corner – alone – Kagome tried not to frown.

The magenta-eyed girl gave her a smile, like nothing was wrong. "Hey, you okay?"

Kagome wanted to be the one to ask that. Instead, she shrugged and smiled herself. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks for having me over last night."

Sango gave her an odd look. "You're welcome?" She drew out the words, the question evident, like she had no idea what angle Kagome was coming from.

It was a bad idea, but she had to know. Kagome had to know. "Where's Miroku?"

Had it been anyone else, Kagome probably wouldn't have seen it. There was a flicker of impassiveness, and then she smiled again, shrugging. It wasn't even close to a real smile, far more bitter. "I have no idea. With Koharu?"

The way she said it, Kagome knew they never talked. Either Sango tried and it didn't go well, or Sango didn't try at all.

This time, she bit her tongue and didn't ask.


Kagome was running.

Running and running, in the forest in the pitch black of night. She could barely see, stumbling over absolutely everything. The only reason she didn't fall was sheer luck and determination.

It was coming.

It was coming.

She swung around a tree, skidded hard enough that her knee throbbed with it. She couldn't stop though. No, it was coming for her.

Red eyes and all.

The sound of crying distracted her, the sobs close and familiar. She switched directions, trying to follow the noise. She knew who that was. Sango. She had to help Sango. Why was Sango crying? Why was she out in the forest?

Kagome ran, harder and faster. It felt like an eternity, each breath so much harder than the next. The air was thinner somehow, every pant a wheeze. Was she going to die here, in the forest alone?

Another sob.

No, there was Sango.

"Sango!" Kagome screamed, whipping around dangerously in a circle, trying to locate her friend. "Where are you? Sango!"

And like magic, the magenta-eyed girl was suddenly before her, leaning broken against a tree. She was bleeding everywhere, her face and hands covered with it. How she was even standing was beyond her.

"Sango!" Kagome cried out, taking a step forward to reach her, to help her, to–

Deep, torturous claws dug into her back. Kagome couldn't even scream, every muscle in her body spasming. She collapsed onto the forest floor, hearing only sobs and ferocious growls. Her back spasmed again and Kagome couldn't help but cry, aching. She was going to die.

She couldn't even–

It's in you, girl.

Another vicious stab through her back and this time, Kagome felt the snap of her spine. Sango screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

And–

Kagome gasped, her body lurching forward. It took a moment for her to recognize where she was, what was happening. She was in her room, in her bed, sitting up with the blankets a tangled mess around her.

It had only been a bad dream.

Laying back down, Kagome desperately tried to catch her breath. Her whole back was sore, the muscles burning. Her back had actually been spasming; the pain had been real. Everything was hurting, so, so much.

Breathing wasn't getting any easier. It felt like it was getting worse.

Her room was so dark but her panting was so loud. What if there was something in the room with her, would she even hear it?

Her back was hurting still.

How real was real?

Kagome felt a choked sob crawl its way up her throat. Squeezing her eyes shut as hard as she could, she tried to focus on her breathing. Inhale, two, three, four. Exhale, two, three, four. Slow it down. Inhale, two, three, four.

This wasn't working.

Sitting up was a struggle, but she desperately reached out for the switch of her lamp. The sudden light hurt her eyes but she refused to close them, seeking out the rest of the room and all of the dark corners. There was nothing there. She was alone, and safe, and in her bed.

She didn't feel safe.

Grabbing her journal, Kagome flipped to a random page and stared at the image taped onto it.

"The door is red. The red door is a part of a yellow building. The building is yellow." She took a deep breath and started again. "The building looks like a house. It has ivy, but maybe it's not ivy. It looks like there are berries on it. Some sort of plant, I don't know what." Another breath, deeper and slower. "The berries are a brighter red than the door. The house is yellow with a red door and some weird ivy. I don't see a roof." She closed her eyes for a moment, and focused on a solid inhale and exhale. It felt like a struggle but she did it anyways, counting down in her mind. She started again. "The house is yellow. The door is red. It has a black doorknob. It looks tropical there, warm."

It took a long time until her chest felt like it could properly expand, like she could breathe in air and have it fill up her lungs. Slowly, like a leaky faucet that kept going drip…drip…drip, Kagome could feel herself calming down. She was okay.

She was okay.

Closing the journal, Kagome stared up at the ceiling. She hadn't had a nightmare that bad in a very, very long time.

Kagome wondered if she'd even be able to fall back asleep.


The sight of silver in between branches and leaves was no longer unfamiliar. Kagome took a deep breath and started to lightly jog as she approached the trees, starting up the same routine she did every morning. When she got close enough, she could see the scowling face of the half-demon, waiting only a couple of feet away with his arms crossed. She knew by now that while it wasn't his default expression, it was commonplace in the mornings, even if he seemed to be in a relatively decent mood. For a brief moment, she wondered what it was like to be him, to be in his head and think like him. In the next moment, she wondered how exhausted she truly was if those were the questions running through her mind. Last night had been terrible.

Like always, Kagome nodded at him when she got close enough. Inuyasha fell into step with her easily and together they started to run faster, to get up to speed with the pace they'd been growing towards. Kagome was positive she'd never been so fast before, especially for as long as they ran. The half-demon had been a great inspiration, if nothing else for what he did when they ran together. No wonder Miroku and Sango were as good as they were in combat and in training. She was under no illusions that Inuyasha's training was a step above what any human could offer. How long had Sango's parents trained him, before he could outdo any of their maneuvers?

Taking a deep breath, she counted in her head and then exhaled, letting the numbers trail on. The forest was eerily quiet that morning; barely a stir of the wind, making the air a little warmer than usual for November. She needed to focus on her run, on her breathing. Just on inhaling and exhaling, and the pumping of her feet on the hard ground.

For a while, it worked. Kagome pushed herself to think only of what she was doing and it was enough. They ran, side by side without talking or hesitating. She was focused, her mind a barely-there buzz of fleeting thoughts and images.

And then one stuck.

Kagome wasn't sure why some thoughts were harder to push through than others. It was like they had a spare key, getting in under the radar and then announcing themselves far too loudly to push aside or ignore. Sometimes, she didn't even realize she was thinking about it until the thought was so overwhelming it was causing her problems. And the thought of Sango, with her sad expressions the day before at her locker and the casualness that she used when talking about Miroku with Koharu… It got under her skin and blossomed, big and ugly and fierce. Kagome looked at Inuyasha and felt that same frustration she felt at their house.

She took a deep breath and let it go. Another.

It wasn't a conscious decision to stop dead in the middle of the forest trail, but before she knew it Kagome was standing there, panting and sweating and unmoving. She tugged on her ponytail, feeling that frustration from before building up and overflowing, spilling into thoughts of why can't you let this go and stop it.

And that was so, so much worse.

"What's going on?" Inuyasha asked, fiercely enough that Kagome realized just how poised he looked for action. Like he was expecting some sort of attack. In the time that she tried to figure out what she was going to do – address the issue, or ignore it and lie – the half-demon seemed to realize that there wasn't any kind of danger. His nose crinkled, face falling into a frown as he crossed his arms.

She couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to. "Why are you doing this to Sango?"

His reaction was instantaneous. What she thought was a frown before seemed to pale in comparison. He looked angry, jaw clenched and ready for some kind of fight. It wasn't what she wanted but Kagome was at a loss on how else to communicate with him. It wasn't like Inuyasha went around openly expressing himself. Asking casually in the car before only resulted in grunts and pointed silence. "Are you serious?" he demanded. "You want to talk about this now?"

"She's miserable," Kagome ground out, shaking her head. Two steps forward, like a challenge. It wasn't one, but she watched as the half-demon reacted anyways, standing taller and looking angrier. "She made a mistake, I know, but punishing her like this can only make things worse. It's been a week!"

"It's not me that needs to start a conversation," Inuyasha retorted, near growling.

"You're not even mad at her, so what's even your problem?" Kagome exclaimed.

Inuyasha snapped, furious. "Of course I'm mad at her."

"You're terrified, not angry. Stop lying about this!" Kagome took in a shuddering breath. "I'm not an idiot, Inuyasha. I saw what happened that night. I watched you in the car the next day! I've seen you look out for Sango even when you're not really talking to her. So what gives?"

"I'm not terrified!" Inuyasha snapped, near vicious. "I'm a half-demon. What the hell do I have to be scared about? It's not my fault Sango went off and nearly got herself killed when I was too busy trying to protect you and Miroku!"

And just like that, the half-demon whipped around. While she couldn't see his expression, Kagome wasn't a fool. She watched the clenching of his fists, so tightly pressed against his thighs. She saw the way his shoulders bunched, the rigidness of his body. Her frustrated plea had worked, but maybe it hadn't been such a great idea after all.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked quietly. She knew he could hear her. She didn't dare take a step forward.

"What?" he snapped, still clearly pissed off.

It took her a moment to formulate anything – any sort of response, a form of comfort. Anything. A few times she opened her mouth, only to find nothing willing to come out. This… This was maybe worse. Maybe she should have kept out of it. It was Sango's family; her relationships with Miroku and Inuyasha were different. Kagome was the outsider that had just squirmed her way in.

All of a sudden, the half-demon spun around again. He didn't look any calmer. If anything, his golden eyes were wide, face burning a shade of red. "What?" he demanded again. "What do you want, Kagome?"

"You said you'd never protect me." Kagome didn't know where the words came from. It was an accusation as much as a question. "You told me that you wouldn't protect me, because you only cared about Miroku and Sango. It was on me to take care of myself."

To that, Inuyasha didn't apparently have anything to say. His fists unclenched though, eyes shifting from fierceness to their usual level of heavy intensity. Kagome wasn't sure if she'd ever get used to it.

"It's not your fault what happened to Sango," Kagome said, as firmly as she could. It didn't come out that way, not with the tremble in her voice, but there was nothing she could do. She was exhausted after last night, emotionally tired from the last week. There was a lump in her throat and she didn't want to deal with it. "It's not your fault."

Inuyasha scowled. "It's my job to keep you all safe. I'm not the human here. If I get thrown into a damn tree I'm not going to die from internal bleeding."

"But your job can only go as far as we allow it," Kagome replied, near desperate. "If Sango runs off on her own, that's her turning down your duty to her."

"It doesn't work like that."

"You're so difficult!" Kagome exclaimed, trying to swallow down the bile that was building up. She couldn't have another breakdown, not so soon. She covered her face with her hands, trying to focus on her breathing. Inhale. Exhale. It was easy to think of but so hard to do. Inhale.

She could hear footsteps and knew without a doubt that he was coming closer. She wished he wouldn't though. Just five more seconds, and she could get a grip–

There was a touch to her hand, the barest hint of a scratch. Like Inuyasha thought about grabbing her but stopped himself at the last second. "You're pretty difficult too, in case you weren't aware."

At that, Kagome burst out in a short laugh, more a strong exhale of breath. "That's a lie. I'm the least difficult."

"Mushin is way more chill than you."

She hummed. He had a point.

"I'll talk to Sango," Inuyasha said gruffly. "But I can't do anything for Miroku. That's–" He paused a moment. "There's more to it than I can help."

"I know." She was still hiding behind her hands. Any second now, she would look up and be normal. They would finish their run. Everything would be fine.

It didn't feel fine.

"You're–" Inuyasha hesitated for a second. It was almost enough to make her look up from her hands. Almost. "You're still anxious." He sounded weird saying the words, like he didn't want them to come out.

Initially she wanted to bristle at that because showing this part of her wasn't something she just did. It happened on accident, if at all. Her anxiety was something she holed up in her bedroom, or at her locker at school. Sometimes, she tried to distract herself with archery to get away from it. Her friends probably knew – Ayumi more than the others – but still. Kagome didn't want to talk about it.

But then she felt her eyes start to burn, and her throat got tight in the way that meant she was going to cry.

"Don't!" Inuyasha shouted, sounding strangled.

Kagome glanced up and blinked. "It's been a hard day!" she snapped.

"It's barely seven!"

"Exactly!"

Inuyasha stared at her, alarmed and tense but no longer angry. That seemed to have passed, sliding out alongside his acceptance that he'd speak with Sango. But the two of them just stood there, looking at each other like they were waiting for the other to make some kind of move. Neither of them did.

"I–" The words came out at the same time as Inuyasha opened his mouth to say something, so she cut herself off.

Inuyasha did too, though.

More staring. This was a terrible morning.

"Can you run me home?" Kagome asked, hating how her voice sounded. "I should have been back by now."

Nodding, the half-demon turned around and crouched. He didn't say a word to her as he fled from the trail, taking the faster way home. He stopped at the treeline, just like he always did, and Kagome slid off quietly.

Her mind was made up.

"I'll see you next soon, yeah?" Kagome asked. She didn't hide the exhaustion from her voice. It wasn't worth it. He seemed to sense what she was feeling anyways.

"Yeah."

She waved at him, tried for a smile before turning away completely. She jogged back to the house, taking her time as she stepped inside and unlaced her shoes. She listened as her mother's footsteps, always so quiet, petered in from the kitchen.

"Hey," her mother greeted gently. The amount of care and concern in her voice overwhelmed her then, like a blanket securing around her. "That took a while."

"Yeah," Kagome choked out, straightening up. She could see it in her mother's eyes the moment she realized just how messed up her daughter was. Kagome couldn't hold back the tears, even more so when her mom came up and hugged her fiercely.

"What's wrong?" she asked, hushed and worried. Her hand rubbed at Kagome's back, soothing and sweet. "What happened?"

"I'm just so tired," Kagome whispered. She felt ragged and raw, like broken pieces that were sticking out and catching on everything. On the demons coming to Sakura. On her strange powers as a priestess. On her schoolwork, which she was barely completing. On the lizard-like demon prancing around town. On the nightmare from last night. On Sango's grief. On Miroku's anger. On Inuyasha's intuition.

"Okay," her mom murmured. She rocked her slightly before pulling away. "How about you take a warm shower, I'll make some tea, and then you can go back to sleep? I'll call the school and tell them your sick."

Her mother was too good for her, what with all the lies Kagome kept hidden. Still, she nodded and whispered her thanks.

Thirty minutes later, she was sitting in bed drinking tea with her. Her mom didn't ask, and Kagome didn't offer. It was one of the sleepy teas, settling warm and comforting in Kagome's chest. When she finished, her mother took away the cup and left it on her nightstand, helping her to get more comfortable lying down. She brushed at Kagome's bangs, over and over, and it was more calming than any tea.

She fell asleep.


It was crazy how one day away from everything, from reality, could balance a person out. How just a few simple hours broken from routine to focus on self-care could flip that internal switch in the mind, changing hopeless to hopeful.

She texted her friends: made plans with Yuka, Eri and Ayumi to celebrate her birthday, messaged Sango to see how she was doing. Sent a text message to Inuyasha to let him know she wouldn't be running that weekend.

It was simple. It was a step back that she had desperately needed.

During Sunday night's family dinner, Kagome laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of her brother's teenage crush. Even her mom, usually so sympathetic, seemed to find the situation entirely amusing. Her grandfather rambled on about the latest dog that was a Good Boy according to the news.

Kagome smiled and laughed the entire evening. She felt good going to bed.

It was–

It was nice.


Sango appeared at her locker, hovering only a few feet away. Kagome smiled at her and waved, gesturing her closer. Yuka and Eri were in a heated debate about some sort of school gossip that Kagome tuned out a while ago. She had planned to spend lunch with them, but Sango normally never approached her when the other girls were around.

"Hey," Sango said quietly, giving a tiny awkward wave to the rest of them. "How are you?"

Eri seemed absolutely shocked by the question, but thankfully Ayumi wasn't phased at all. She smiled, always so good at putting other people at ease. "We're good. Glad the day is half-over."

"I don't know that I'm glad about it," Yuka added, huffing. "It's felt like so much longer."

"Every day feels like it's longer than it should be," Kagome pointed out.

"Only two more years, right?" Eri asked.

Yuka made a face. "Of high school. You know there's more, right?"

The girls went back to bickering and Kagome raised an eyebrow at Sango. It was the usual antics, but while sometimes it would get on her nerves or set her off, today everything seemed fine. She was relaxed and thankful for it.

Though, Sango coming over probably meant she wanted to talk. She wouldn't have approached otherwise. It was then that Kagome remembered her conversation with Inuyasha on Friday, how he had said he'd talk to her and try to fix things. "Did you want to go to lunch?" she suggested. "It's not that cold out today."

"Nah, the cafeteria is fine," Sango replied. The magenta-eyed girl seemed to hesitate for a moment, a little awkward. "Are you sure? I don't want to take you away from–" She cut herself off, but Sango gestured her head towards the other girls, her message coming across clear.

"They'll understand," Kagome stated, reaching out to nudge her arm. She finished up at her locker and looked at Ayumi, the only one paying attention. "Sango and I are going to lunch. I'll catch up with you after school?"

Ayumi nodded and Yuka jumped back into the conversation, having caught on to what was happening. "We're still on for tonight, right?" She grinned, all excited. It made Kagome laugh, if only because McDonald's wasn't exactly the best dinner in the world. It was, however, tradition – ever since they were little kids.

"Yeah, I promise," Kagome replied.

"We'll hold you to it, birthday girl!" Eri called out.

It was exactly what she didn't want her friends to say, but there was no point of worrying about it anymore. Sango shot her an alarmed look before Kagome grabbed her arm and dragged her away, heading towards the cafeteria.

"It's your birthday today?" Sango asked. Her eyes were wide, like the idea of not knowing was going to ruin their friendship. Kagome had never said anything about it before, so there was no way for her friend to know. The only ones that really knew were Yuka, Eri and Ayumi, but that was years and years of friendship.

Kagome shook her head. "Tomorrow, but I do family stuff so we celebrate today. Nothing fancy. You could come, you know," she said, trying to sound inviting. "I know they can be a lot, but Yuka and Eri are really sweet. As long as they don't start harassing you about your love life."

"Oh." Sango seemed almost taken aback by the offer, completely surprised. "Uh, I would love to but I have some family stuff to take care of." She seemed really upset, her magenta eyes wide. "If I could move it I would–"

Kagome cut her off with a quick wave. "It's not a big deal, I promise. Don't worry. Next time."

That drew a smile out of the other girl, who nodded. "Yeah. Definitely."

They got to their usual table in the cafeteria. Miroku was still nowhere to be found, but Kagome didn't say anything. Instead, she listened to Sango talk about her weekend and the research they were doing on the lizard-like demon surrounding the town. There didn't seem to be much to go on, but Inuyasha convinced Miroku to go to Mrs. Ohta's house to pay his respects to the family. If he could also find out more about how she met the 'long lost grandson,' it would probably help their cause.

"Inuyasha can't find anything?" Kagome asked.

Sango shook her head, looking rueful. "He's been trying, but Sakura and Wells are pretty big together. He thinks it's somewhere in the forest, since he's staked out all of the abandoned buildings in the area. Then again, the thing could be living in an air duct in some building that has people every day." She shrugged, taking a bite of her apple. "Who knows?"

Sighing, Kagome picked at her own lunch. "That's frustrating."

"He's not really happy about it. If you're free on Saturday, we were going to go searching for it. And kill it, if we find it."

"Yeah, Saturday is probably better."

"You can stay over, if you want," Sango stated. "We could be out pretty late. Depends on how fast we find it, I–"

Kagome frowned, noticing Sango's gaze looking past her. All of a sudden, her face was like a blank wall, completely impenetrable. She knew before she even turned around who it was that her friend was looking at, his laugh ringing out over the cafeteria. Not too far away, Miroku was sitting at a table with a bunch of juniors, seemingly joking around. The girl from before, Koharu, was there, nice and close.

The familiar frustration built up in her, but Kagome couldn't fix it. She couldn't control what Miroku did, just like she couldn't do a thing about Sango's actions. They both seemed to thrive on hurting each other, at least in this moment. Kagome didn't understand how you could try to hurt someone so you clearly loved.

"Oh hey," Sango said, voice ridiculously normal. It didn't even sound forced. The tone was enough to have Kagome spinning back around, trying to capture all of Sango's attention. She didn't want the other girl to look that closed off again, not because of Miroku. "So, you'll never believe what happened this weekend."

She had a clue but tried her best to look intrigued. "What?"

"Inuyasha and I talked about the whole…" She waved her hand in the air, trying to encompass all that had gone wrong lately. "The whole thing. It was weird."

"Weird how?"

Sango shrugged. "I don't know. I think he was trying to talk to me without being the one to start it. Inuyasha's not the easiest to talk to about stuff though, and I'm not the best at it either. The entire conversation was awkward."

"Are you good, at least?" Kagome asked gently. She reached out, tapping at Sango's hand in solidarity. "Have you worked things out?"

It was there for only a moment, disappearing so fast Kagome could have easily imagined it. But she didn't. Sango did, in fact, give a small smile. She shrugged again though, looking down at her food. "Yeah. I apologized for…a few things, I guess. The obvious one, plus the arguments. He's so damn protective though, ever since–" Kagome watched as her friend licked her lips and took a breath. "Ever since Mom, Dad and Kohaku died."

In the months that Kagome had known her, she had never heard Sango actually speak of her family like that. She usually skirted around their reference of death, or just said her family. It was never names, never titles. Either Sango was really starting to work through her grief or talking to Inuyasha had been better for her than anyone realized. In the end, it was probably both.

"I'm glad," Kagome stated, giving her a smile.

"Now, I just have to figure out what to do with Miroku."

"Can't you just talk to him like you did with Inuyasha?"

"Not really, not the same." Shaking her head, Sango tugged briefly at her ponytail, a tiny distraction. "Inuyasha's always been easier to talk to, even though we both suck at it. Miroku's just this big ball of emotion. He hits back with it, always."

Kagome remembered the first time she had met them all. How Sango had already been screaming on the driveway, and Miroku was instantly up and out, trying to pacify and then bringing up how he had to take care of her. It hadn't really meant anything back then, but listening to her friend now, she understood. How much worse did it make things, that Miroku loved her? When Kagome had brought up Miroku's interest in her on the bleachers last week, Sango had acknowledged it but never really said anything about her own feelings. Was it not reciprocated?

No. Recent events alone proved that couldn't be the case. Not just that, but the way Sango had looked almost a month ago when Koharu came and interrupted their conversation on the bleachers.

Maybe Kagome would never really understand.

"Plus, I know him," Sango continued, filling the silence. "I know what he's going to say. I just don't…really have an answer for him yet."

"Like," Kagome stuttered out, wondering if her thoughts were walking along the same wavelength. "Like if you like Miroku the same way he likes you?" For a long moment, Sango just stared at her. It made Kagome want to fidget, to pick at her lunch or look over at the boy in question. Eventually, the magenta-eyed girl nodded, once and final. It made her brave enough to ask, "You don't love him?"

To her, it was almost obvious. It seemed obvious.

"I've always loved him," Sango answered, slowly and haltingly. It was like each word was a struggle, like she would rather say anything else. "But it's different."

Kagome desperately wanted to know.

Maybe it was the look in her eyes, because Sango sighed explosively and buried her head in her hands. The next words were small, quiet. "Me, Kohaku, Miroku and Inuyasha all grew up together since we were little. Inuyasha's my brother in every way but blood. Kohaku was my actual brother. But Miroku?" She looked up then, eyes wide. "It was never the same."

"Doesn't that mean you do love him, then?" Kagome asked, question barely more than a whisper.

Sango shook her head but stopped herself, deciding to shrug instead. "How do you know what true love is," she whispered back, "when it's always been the same feeling since you were five years old?"


When her mom, brother and grandfather sang Happy Birthday to her, all Kagome could think about was how grateful she was to have them. Even as annoying as her younger brother could be, or as worried as her mother could get, she wouldn't trade them for anything.

The lies she told them would catch up to her eventually. Someday down the line, her family may not look at her the same way.

But Kagome vowed, at that very moment for what felt like the hundredth time, to protect them. All of them.

When she blew out her candles, her one wish was to keep them all safe.

She clung to that desire with every fibre of her being, watching the smoke rise from the candle and disappear into the air.


That night, after having said goodnight to her family and trudging up the stairs to her bedroom, it took an embarrassingly long time to notice the massive garbage bag on her bed. She had been too distracted with getting ready, changing into her baggy t-shirt and brushing out her hair. It was only when she was about to grab the covers and pull them down that she noticed it: big, thin, and sitting there with a white bow on top.

Instantly Kagome went to the window of her bedroom. It didn't look like anything had been moved, but there was only one way that gift got in and it wasn't through the front door. Pressing her face against the glass, she tried to see anything in the darkness but there was no flash of silver hair or flashlights.

Tentatively, Kagome went back to her bed and pulled at the bag. On top was a card, a basic Happy Birthday one with a picture of a mouse floating on a balloon. She smiled, unable to stop herself as she opened it. All of their names were signed inside, with Sango adding an extra little message. Miroku added a winking face. Inuyasha finished off his name with a period.

The garbage bag was clearly clean, and used as a hasty and quick substitute for an actual gift bag. Kagome realized with a start that it likely would have been a difficult task no matter what, after seeing the size of what was inside.

"No way," Kagome whispered, already knowing but not quite wanting to believe.

It was a bow, brilliant and shining. There was a separate case of arrows, the tips nothing like her own arrows for archery. These tips were meant to kill.

Her very own demon slaying bow, to keep at the house.

Her wish was already putting itself to work.


On Saturday morning, Kagome stood awkwardly in the kitchen waiting for the perfect moment. She needed her mother to be distracted, enough that it was plausible for Kagome to have gotten into a car and left the driveway by the time she checked. A text message vibrated in her jean's back pocket; Kagome tried not to roll her eyes as she pulled her phone out.

Just like last time.

Inuyasha's first, kind message read: Here.

The second, sent a few minutes later, stated: HELLO?

When would he learn?

She spared a glance at her mother, who had just finished making her second cup of tea that morning. Any second now she would head towards the couch and sit down, getting comfortable. Kagome pursed her lips and sent Inuyasha a reply.

I need to wait for my mom to be distracted, hold on.

His response took only a moment. Fine.

It was then that Kagome saw her opportunity. Her mother was casually throwing a blanket over herself on the couch, about to grab her tea from the side table. Instantly, she rushed into the living room. "Car's here, I'll see you later, Mom!" She kissed her on the cheek and rushed out of the room. "Love you!"

She heard her mom's reply just as she was shutting the front door. Kagome snuck to the side, spotting Inuyasha's familiar silver hair easily. The half-demon was crouched against the house, staring at his phone unhappily. He made no move to acknowledge her as she came closer, but Kagome knew he was well-aware of her presence. She wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he wasn't overtly tracking her anymore. "Hey."

Inuyasha made one last face at his phone before giving her a half-assed wave. "Took you long enough."

"I told you that the timing wouldn't be exact." She climbed onto his back, arms looping around his neck. His sudden speed was something she was used to by know but the colder days made it harder for her to keep her eyes open. Burying her face into the back of his shirt, she waited for the run to be over. It wasn't too bad, hiding behind him. The half-demon was a line of warmth along her front and she wondered, randomly, if he ever really got cold.

Sango was outside in the garage when they arrived. She smiled in greeting, zipping up one of the massive duffels that she knew contained a whole bunch of weapons. "That was quick," she said, looking confused when Inuyasha scowled at her. "What?"

Kagome slid off the half-demon and readjusted her backpack. "I made him wait, apparently. Even though I warned him."

"It wasn't a warning," Inuyasha replied.

"Why are you so unhappy today?" Kagome asked, narrowing her eyes at him. She was hoping that Sango would have some sort of answer, but her friend looked just as confused. "Did something happen?"

"What? No. Stop it." Inuyasha took a couple steps back, glaring. "I don't know what you're going on about."

Sango nudged at Kagome's shoulder with her elbow. "He was fine before he left to get you."

"I'm still fine," Inuyasha retorted, sounding aggravated. "I'm going inside. Does Miroku have the map?"

"I don't know," Sango answered, shrugging.

"For fuck's sake." Inuyasha whipped around on his heel and disappeared into the house.

Kagome watched the whole thing with wide eyes, a little shocked and a lot confused. "Is it just me?"

"That was definitely weird. What did you say to him?"

"Nothing! I came out and he already seemed unhappy at something. He was glaring down at his phone."

Sango hummed. "Was he texting someone? We're the only ones that have his number, plus Mushin."

"I couldn't see." Kagome shook her head. "Maybe a run without carrying me will do him some good."

There was a quick snort from her friend. "Uh huh," she replied, grinning but not making eye contact. She was fiddling with the ATV. "Sure."

Kagome was about to ask what that meant when Inuyasha's voice reached them, loud and irritated sounding. "Sango!"

"What?" she yelled back, nose wrinkling up in confusion.

"Come here!"

"I'm really not fond of this mood," Sango muttered under her breath. She gestured for Kagome to go ahead of her, and the two girls made their way inside. Sango led her towards the kitchen where Mushin was drinking his usual cup of tea and reading the newspaper, while Inuyasha and Miroku were crowded around something. Kagome couldn't really see it, not until they got closer. It was a map, one of those really old ones that the town used to give out at the public library. It focused primarily on Sakura, but it showed other nearby towns as well, plus the large forest that surrounded them.

"Can you look at this?" Inuyasha asked, pointing at some red marks scrawled on the paper. "Miroku is shit at this."

"I'm perfectly fine!" Miroku shot back, narrowing his eyes. "It's fine! This is the radius I think we need to scope out. It's the closest part of the forest to where Mrs. Ohta ran into her so-called grandson. Plus, it's right by where that missing person from Wells lived."

Kagome frowned. "Why was Mrs. Ohta in Wells?"

"Some speciality store, for fabric?" Miroku shrugged. "I was trying to focus more on the general area. Anyways, the shapeshifting demon is likely hanging around there."

"I don't know what you're complaining about," Sango commented to Inuyasha, giving him yet another weird look. "Miroku's markings are fine. He even mapped our route."

Inuyasha blinked at the both of them. Kagome waited, her dark eyes flitting from the half-demon to Sango and then Miroku. While the blue-eyed teen didn't say anything, he looked a little pleased by Sango's compliments. They still weren't looking at each other though, or clearly really talking. They were both just staring at Inuyasha like he was an idiot.

"Fine," the half-demon said suddenly, standing up and immediately leaving the kitchen. "Then grab your gear and let's go. It's going to take a while to get there."

Kagome hurried to catch up, dodging around Miroku and Sango to follow him into the hall. It took a moment to reach him, his strides long but unhurried as he made his way to the garage. "Hey!" she hissed, tapping him on the shoulder. "Hey!"

"What?" Inuyasha demanded, spinning around.

"I know what you're doing!" Kagome gave him a sly smile. "You're trying to get them talking again. Even after you said you wouldn't get involved, you're actively trying to make them work together."

"I'm not–"

"It was Miroku who was pissing you off earlier, wasn't it?" Kagome asked, feeling all the pieces click into place. "He wouldn't talk to Sango about the map, or something?"

The silver-haired teen blinked at her, face impassive. "Are you serious?"

"They're miserable," Kagome whispered. "Everyone can see it! I think it's worse at school since Miroku's been hanging out with that other girl. Lunch is terrible."

"It can't be as bad as driving them to and from school," Inuyasha uttered finally, glaring up at the ceiling. "It's annoying. But I'm still not getting involved; they have to do their own talking."

"Right, yeah. Just nudging them, I get it."

Inuyasha shifted his glare to her.

"Good talk," she whispered, walking by him. Sango and Miroku came in not long after, and all of them got to work setting their ATVs up and getting their weapons ready. Inuyasha waited impatiently, shifting from foot to foot as he studied the map once more.

Then they were all off.

Kagome didn't know how long they travelled for. The ATV underneath her rumbled constantly, her hands tingling at the unfamiliar feel of it. She shook out her hands and tried to peer around Sango, attempting to catch any sight of the half-demon. Miroku was ahead of them, leading the way through some trails and then off some unbeaten paths. It was cloudy but at least not too windy, the trees providing a fair amount of coverage. It could have been worse for a mid-November excursion. If they lived somewhere that actually experienced a real winter, she would have frozen to death by now.

They stopped periodically, Miroku getting off the ATV and waving them over. He and Sango poured over the map, trying to figure out the best way to cover the area. Kagome guessed it was a good thing they could set aside their differences for when it mattered, but it still felt hollow to her, wrong.

They travelled on and off. Inuyasha would backtrack and fill them in on areas he checked, but everything came up empty. Not even a trace of a demon having been there before. Inuyasha was sure he would have been able to smell it if it was recent. Every time they found a place with good coverage, or a place Kagome would think made an ideal spot for hiding out, there was nothing there.

It went on and on like that. Hours went by and Kagome tried to ignore the hunger clawing at her stomach. She had grabbed a bite to eat before leaving that morning, but it had been quick and small. Lunch had definitely passed them by and they were still no closer to finding the lizard-like demon. The areas left unchecked were dwindling, maybe an hour left to search. She really hoped they found it, and soon. Every day that ticked by was another day the demon could kill someone else.

Her stomach growled, quiet enough that over the group conversation no one seemed to hear. Miroku, Sango and Inuyasha were debating which section to check first, closer to the town or deeper into the forest. She pressed a hand to her stomach, willing it to stop when it started again.

"Miroku, get the damn granola bars, please," Inuyasha gritted out suddenly. "You're irritating me. Your idea is stupid."

"What does that even have in common?" Miroku exclaimed, waving his arms emphatically in the air.

"Just get the damn bars," Inuyasha snapped. "And we're following my plan. Even if the demon is likely staying deeper in the forest, we have a better chance of catching it if we push in from the town."

"That's not how we used to do it," Sango pointed out, crossing her arms.

"But we were a larger group then," Inuyasha reminded her, not unkindly. "Trust me."

"Fine, but if we lose it in the forest, I'm going to be pissed at you," Miroku pointed out, face buried in one of the bags. Kagome watched as he pulled out four granola bars and started to hand them out. She looked at Inuyasha, but the half-demon wasn't looking at her. His ears though were swivelled towards her, and there was no way that he had missed the sound of her stomach.

Kagome wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or grateful.

They got back onto the ATVs, Kagome with Sango yet again, and they neared the treeline for Wells. The section they were at opened up to a park but she couldn't hear any voices or shouts of children. Inuyasha took off immediately, heading back into the deeper part of the forest. They followed on a separate trail route, Sango going off the path the further along they travelled to cover more space. She only slowed down when a massive tree trunk covered their route, the thick body of it forcing them to detour.

Sango stopped the ATV and looked back at her. "We'll head closer towards Inuyasha and then wind back. You good?"

Kagome was about to shout back when movement caught her eye. She jerked her attention towards the fallen tree, watching as an older man with short, floppy black hair and dark eyes stumbled over. He had to be in his thirties, body covered in loose black slacks and a t-shirt. He wasn't wearing any shoes.

And then she heard Sango sob.

"Kohaku," she screamed, ripping out the ATV key and nearly falling off the machine in her haste to get off. She ran, full sprint, and the older man smiled suddenly at her, waving.

But that didn't make sense.

Kagome stood up. Kohaku was younger than them. Kohaku had only been a kid. This was not a child. Whatever Sango was seeing was not the same.

"Sango, no!" Kagome shouted, grabbing her bow and drawing an arrow from her quiver. She barely lined up, hand releasing the arrow before she made the conscious decision to do so. The arrow narrowly missed the man, who stepped to the side and looked at her, eyes narrowing into slits.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sango shrieked, whipping around to face her. "That's my brother!" She didn't have any weapons on her, nothing to save her.

"It's not him! That's not what I see, Sango, come back!" But it was too late. The older man leapt, nothing human about it, and tackled the young slayer to the ground. Sango screamed, hurt and confusion warring in her tone. Kagome ran forward, another arrow nocked. She tried to aim it towards its legs, where she wouldn't hit Sango, but they were rolling, too hard to track.

Sango was crying, repeating the same thing over and over. "Kohaku, it's me! Kohaku, stop, it's me, it's me!" Kagome couldn't let it kill her, couldn't just stand by. She raced forwards, bow in hand and managed to whack it across the demon's face. It stumbled back but barely, and Kagome could see for the first time claws on its mostly human hands.

The demon rolled backwards until it was standing up, crouched. Kagome nocked another arrow, standing in front of Sango. She couldn't tell what the other girl was doing, but she could still hear the sobs, the broken half-words she couldn't form.

The demon narrowed its eyes at her, licking its lips in a quick, inhuman-like dart. "You don't recognize me," it said, voice deep. Kagome shook her head, ignoring the familiarity that clung to the back of her mind. "How could you not recognize your own dead?"

There was a shifting in the trees, and then all of a sudden Inuyasha came crashing down. He tackled the demon, forcing it sideways. Kagome could hear the rumble of the other ATV closing in, knew Miroku was almost there.

Sango's voice trembled at her side. "It looks like Kohaku," she whispered. "Why the fuck does it look like Kohaku?"

They should have expected this. They should have known. They had been so wrapped up in their own personal shit to really focus on what the demon did to its victims, how it tricked them by impersonating a long-lost family member.

But the demon had said 'dead.' Had all of those people been killed, and the families never knew because they were estranged?

All of a sudden, Inuyasha cried out in pain. Kagome could barely see him between the trees so she ran, nocking her arrow once more and letting it fly once the other demon appeared in her sight line. Inuyasha was backed against a tree, seemingly in one piece. Even from there, Kagome could see his golden eyes were wide, confused.

"It's not real!" Kagome yelled. "It's a trick!" She nocked another arrow but the demon leapt into a nearby tree, crawling up it with inhuman speed. Inuyasha wasn't moving, was stuck there. Kagome tried to search the foliage for anything but then there were gunshots and Miroku entered the clearing, gun aimed high.

"I saw something move up there," he said, sparing her a glance. "What the hell is happening?"

"It looks like a dead relative, and it's different for all of us. It's going to be someone you know, but it's not real," she explained, as quickly as she could. "Inuyasha, it's not real."

The half-demon snarled then, vicious like she had never heard. He leaped into the trees, disappearing though there was the sound of growling all around them. Kagome couldn't keep track, could only see moving branches and falling leaves. She twisted around at the sound of Sango approaching, her hands still bare of any weapon. There were tears running down her face, her skin far too pale. She was probably in shock and Kagome had no idea what to do. Everything was happening so damn fast, too uncontrollable to get a grasp of.

And then Inuyasha crashed back down to the ground, the struggling mass of the floppy-haired man underneath him. Kagome watched as the half-demon snarled at him, hands and legs pinning the demon's own. Inuyasha looked furious, tense and coiled, but he didn't go in for the kill. He just stared, growling and waiting.

Beside her, Miroku's sharp inhale was a momentary distraction. His own blue eyes were focused sharply on the demon, seeing a totally different person.

"It's not real," Kagome repeated again, firmly. "It's not real."

Inuyasha heaved a breath but still didn't move. Sango ran to him and Kagome was terrified that she would do something stupid, that she would push Inuyasha off. It had her following close behind, screaming no, but Sango simply collapsed to the ground beside them.

"Oh god," she gasped out, caught on another choking sob. "You look just like him. You look just like Kohaku."

Miroku pushed past Kagome and sat down beside the crying girl, an arm wrapping around her shoulders. He gently forced her face away, burying it into his chest and covering her. "I see my dad," he whispered.

"Please don't kill me," the demon pleaded, struggling against Inuyasha's hold. Kagome watched as the man started to cry, face flushing red. "I don't deserve this. Don't you want me here?"

Inuyasha didn't even snarl. The sound he made was caught in his throat, like a wounded animal struggling for breath. Kagome sat down beside Miroku and reached out, touching Inuyasha's heaving shoulder.

"Whoever you're seeing, it's not them," Kagome pleaded.

Inuyasha shook his head but his golden eyes wouldn't break the gaze of the crying man below him.

"It's not," Kagome repeated and then shoved herself between them, hands digging into the stomach of the demon.

A desperate scream filled the air, vibrating and demonic, and just underneath was the sound of Sango shrieking, pleading, begging. Kagome stared at the demon's face, watched as its face contorted in pain, as its eyes turned to yellow. Light was bursting all around her, surrounding her, and then Inuyasha's growling shout was in her ear. She was tackled forwards, pushed away from the purifying demon. Her face was in the freezing cold dirt, her body covered by another.

Everything hit her all at once.

Kagome lay there unmoving, just trying to keep an even breath. It took a few moments – seconds, minutes, she couldn't tell – before the panting body above her shifted off. Still she didn't move, ignoring the lump in her throat and trying to swallow past it. She needed to breathe, to remain calm. She was okay. They were all okay.

She wasn't okay.

A hand touched her shoulder and then rolled her over, gently. Kagome didn't want to open her eyes. She knew without looking that it was Inuyasha beside her, still so close. His body was warm against the freezing chill of the earth around them.

"I couldn't kill my mom," Inuyasha confessed, his voice raw and broken like he'd been screaming for hours.

"I didn't remember my dad," Kagome gasped out. When the sob building up her throat threatened to break past her lips, she didn't stop it.

They stayed there for a long, long time.


The ride back to the house was a blur. Kagome tried her best to focus, but it was hard enough just to stay on the trail. Sango was too shaken up to drive so she was riding on the back of Miroku's, clinging on to him for dear life. Inuyasha was just…gone. Ahead, not away, but he was on his own. Kagome wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not but she didn't know what else to do.

How had she forgotten her own father?

A part of her brain whispered that of course she wouldn't recognize him. He had died before Sota was even born, when she herself was still three years old. And there weren't many photos of him around the house, save for maybe a handful near the bedrooms. They had been there for so long that it hadn't phased her, not as she grew older and lived what was normal for her. She missed her father in an abstract way, but her mother and grandfather had done everything they could to ensure they were always enough.

Father's Day was celebrated with Grandpa. Mother's Day with her mom. Her father was like a side note, a scribble in the margins of her life story that was important enough to write but easy enough to forget. She didn't really miss him because she didn't really remember him. Even hazy memories didn't include a face, but the voice… The voice the demon used that been familiar, and now she knew why.

It was weird, what the mind remembered and lost.

Mushin was outside with Inuyasha by the time they pulled up. The old man looked exhausted, saddened and Kagome knew that the half-demon told him what happened. The moment Miroku and Sango climbed off, Mushin wrapped both of them up in his arms. Miroku clung back to him for a moment, his blue eyes disappearing behind shut-tight eyelids. Sango just huddled in, wrapping around herself like she could hold the pieces together. She was still crying.

No one said a word as Mushin ushered them into the living room. He murmured something about snacks and water, but truthfully Kagome no longer felt hungry. Everything sat horribly wrong in her stomach, twisting and filled with bile.

"Can we–" Sango took a breath and sniffled. "Can we call it in?"

The words meant nothing to Kagome, but obviously it held some sort of meaning for Inuyasha and Miroku. They both nodded and she watched as the three of them started to take off the couch cushions, throwing them onto the floor. They were tossing the pillows too, and the other throw blankets. Miroku stepped out of the circle and gestured for Kagome to follow, heading down the hall towards their bedrooms. He glanced back towards the living room to make sure they were out of earshot before sighing. "Calling it in is something her mom used to do, on really bad hunts. It was mainly for Kohaku, when he was scared of a demon coming back, or scared that his parents weren't going to come home one day. We just pile pillows and blankets on the floor and stay there. Sometimes just for a few hours. Sometimes overnight."

It was painful to hear how they were doing something built for Kohaku when Sango had basically just seen a fake version of him get killed. She nodded though and went into Sango's room, grabbing the duvet and pillows and dragging them back with her.

For the longest time, they watched television on a low volume and picked at the sandwiches Mushin put together. The old man prepared some tea, making sure to give each of them a cup and refilling it if needed. A few times, Kagome watched him open his mouth to say something before shutting it, keeping quiet. She doubted that anything he had to say would go well, no matter how good his intentions were.

They stayed that way until nighttime. Mushin had gone to bed at their urging, though Inuyasha pointed out the odd time he would climb back up the stairs, just to listen in and check on them. Kagome wanted to text her mom, she really did, but she had no idea what to say. She didn't want to go home, not like this. Still, the fact that she hadn't remembered her father had shaken her up, and she didn't know how to deal with it.

Miroku disappeared when it was nearing midnight, coming back with a bottle of rum. He sat down on the cushion bed and uncapped it. Inuyasha wrinkled his nose but didn't say a word.

"Is this also a part of it?" Kagome asked quietly, just to break the silence.

Sango made an aborted laugh, shaking her head. "Definitely not. That's only been a recent addition."

Miroku offered the bottle to Sango, who took the first swig. It was a big one, enough that Kagome could follow the line of her throat as she swallowed. She passed it off to Miroku who followed suit, who passed it off to her. The alcohol burned going down. Sniffling, Kagome took another quick swig of it before passing it off to Inuyasha.

The half-demon took the biggest drink of them all, several heavy chugs that had Kagome wincing. She watched his face grimace as he stopped and handed it back to Sango, his ears drooping on top of his head. "Can you even get drunk?" she asked. Her throat still burned.

"If I drink enough, yeah." Inuyasha leaned back against the arm of the couch, arms wrapped around his legs.

"I had to take care of him once, when we were younger," Miroku said suddenly, giving a tiny half-smile. "He raided Asato's liquor cabinet and started drinking this weird green stuff. He downed the whole bottle and I found him hiding, wasted in his old bedroom lying on the floor."

"I was testing a theory." Inuyasha shrugged. "Asato was teaching me the differences between humans and demons. I wanted to know which one I was."

Kagome took the bottle back from Miroku and frowned as she took another sip. "But you're both," she stated. "You can't be just one."

Golden eyes stared at her for a moment, far too intense. He seemed to shake himself out of it and then grabbed the bottle from her hands. "You should get another bottle; this one's mine."

Sango stood up. "On it," she announced.

And they stayed like that. Inuyasha finished off the rest of the original bottle while the rest of them drank the other. On too little food and an adrenaline crash, it took no time at all before Kagome was tipsy, feeling the effects weigh her down. Across from her, Sango was laughing this weird, bubbly thing. She hiccupped and grinned, grabbing at Miroku's arm. "Do you remember when Mom found the couch cushions destroyed and blamed Inuyasha for it?"

"I always got the blame for it," Inuyasha grumbled, narrowing his golden gaze at Miroku. "And it was all his fault!"

"I made fake claws!" Miroku exclaimed. Kagome distantly thought that they were probably too loud, that Mushin below could hear them and knew exactly what they were up to. The old man didn't appear though and Miroku kept telling his story, of how he fashioned knives to his fingers because he wanted to be like Inuyasha. "You were like my hero!"

Sango burst out laughing, and she kept doing so even as tears slid down her cheeks. She wiped at the haphazardly, her foot shoving at Inuyasha's knee and making the half-demon actually grin.

Kagome blinked and shook her head. She stared at Inuyasha some more but his smile was still there, big and easy. It wasn't a smirk or a half-smile or even just a turn of the lips. It was a smile. Kagome didn't realize she wanted to poke him until it was too late, her body already half on top of him as her fingers found his cheeks and pressed.

"What are you doing?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome noticed that even with her clambering over him, pushing at him from weird angles, the guy wasn't even moving. He was so, stupidly strong. She smiled down at him and patted his cheek. "You're smiling too!" she announced happily. "I've never seen you smile like this."

"He did it as a child," Miroku goaded, "but then he hit puberty and it was all emo after that."

Sango grinned, eyes still watery. "Remember when Dad made us all dress up that one Christmas in sweaters and Inuyasha refused to smile for a single photo?"

"Where is that photo?" Miroku asked, far too exuberant. They were all drunk, at the level that was borderline sloppy but not quite there. It seemed, though, to make them lighter and Kagome couldn't regret it for a second.

"No," Inuyasha hissed. His hands gripped at Kagome's hips and shifted her to the side, just enough to see his best friend. Kagome lost her balance a little but the half-demon just sat her down right beside him, their thighs touching and his one hand still around her waist. He was warm and comfortable, and Kagome was too distracted by Sango and Miroku's constant bubble of laughter to really notice it.

They passed the bottle around again, just tiny sips here and there. Miroku went into the kitchen to grab some crackers, and they ate those while Sango tried to pick a TV show, complaining about every single one of them.

"Nighttime TV sucks," she whined, skipping to another channel. "No wonder we all just go to sleep."

"I think it sucks because most people do go to sleep," Miroku said, earning a hand to his face. He laughed, grabbing at Sango's arm and pulling her into him. It became some sort of tussle, the remote long lost in the sheets. Kagome squealed as Miroku almost kneed her in the face but Inuyasha pulled her out of the way just in time, her back pressing against his chest.

Mushin did show up then, face tired as he took in the broken crackers along the floor, the bottles of alcohol and all of their flushed expressions. He rubbed at his eyes, like he was hoping it was a bad dream. "Alright. You guys need to go to sleep."

"Please don't make me," Sango begged, shaking her head. "I know it'll be bad."

Mushin's gaze scanned the rest of them again before sighing heavily. "Fine, but the alcohol goes away. Okay?"

"Okay," Miroku answered. "I'll hide it."

The old man's lips were pursed but he only shook his head. "Pick a show then, alright? I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

"Prepare to not sleep then," Sango replied. She reached around the blanket until she found the remote and went back to searching out channels. Inuyasha left Kagome's side to help Mushin find a single cushion for the couch that they didn't really need, and then the old man sat there, helping them settle. Sango was firmly planted in a diagonal across their makeshift mattress, so Kagome curved around her. She stared at the TV, at some old show that she didn't know the name of but remembered her mom watching at some point. Mushin spoke in low tones to Miroku, but she couldn't be bothered to really listen in.

She was tired, she realized. It had to be at least three in the morning, but she didn't honestly know.

Kagome wanted to check but before she could summon up the energy to look, her eyes drifted closed and she fell asleep.


The next morning was slow and incredibly quiet. Light filtered in from the curtains but none of them moved. They were all in a pile, some disjointed connection between each of their bodies. Kagome wasn't sure how they managed it, but somehow last night it had worked. She was curled at Sango's side, her body angled away at the feet to hang off of the couch cushions all over the floor. Sango herself had her head pillowed on Miroku's stomach, her one arm loosely raised above her head to wrap around him. She was awake, blinking magenta eyes at the ceiling, but she didn't move. Kagome didn't say anything, just traced the line up to Miroku's still sleeping face. She couldn't see Inuyasha but knew he was somewhere behind her, the heat of him radiating into her back. There was a press against her shoulder blades but she didn't know what it was.

It was peaceful, anyways.

She wasn't sure who was the first to move. Eventually, they all just started to get up. There were quiet mumbles of 'good morning' and a few questions about how they all slept. Sango responded but it was haltingly, a little broken. She kept staring at the black television like it had any kind of answers at all.

"It's barely eight," Miroku whined. He rested his head on Sango's shoulder for a second, heaving out a sigh before sitting up fully.

"I'll start making breakfast," Inuyasha muttered, getting to his feet. "I hear Mushin downstairs anyways. He'll be up soon to check on us."

"To make sure we're not hung over," Miroku amended.

"Pretty sure I am," Kagome groaned, rubbing at her face. "Or just really, really tired."

And then, out of the blue, Inuyasha growled. It was fierce, and sharp, and horrifically jarring. Kagome jumped in the air and then stood up, confused as her friends did the same. Inuyasha had already disappeared down the hall, but he hadn't gone for the kitchen. Before she knew what she was doing, Kagome ran for the front door. Sango was leading the way but Miroku nipped at her heels, Inuyasha's next snarl worst than the last. She heard the front door open and then Inuyasha broke off, just in time for them to round the corner.

"Fuck, get back to the living room," Inuyasha ordered, hand at his nose like he was trying to block a scent.

"What happened?" Sango demanded.

"Get to the living room," Inuyasha repeated, shaking his head and stepping towards them. He loomed, trying to push them back with his proximity. It didn't work though, Miroku squeezing through and running to the door. Inuyasha swore, but he didn't make another move to stop them.

It wasn't until Miroku starting dry heaving, moving back into the lobby that Kagome started to feel the familiar tingle of fear slither down her spine. She didn't want to see, didn't want to know, but her footsteps grew nearer and nearer. No one was stopping her and Sango was right beside her.

"Don't," Miroku gagged out but it was too late.

On the ground, just outside of the door, was the partially charred remains of a human. It was a woman, with long black hair still attached on one side of her face, the side that was bruised and mottled, but still mostly in tact.

And there, seemingly clawed against the woman's skin, was a name that spanned from the forehead to her collarbone in big, bloody letters.

It read Inuyasha.


TBC


Responses to Anon Reviews:

NS: Hmmm. Well first of all, thank you so much! You're so sweet. Secondly, my writing process is pretty different for each story. For this story, particularly, I actually have a lot of it outlined. I have 3 story arcs, and currently only 3 subplots but there will be at least a couple more. They're loose plans of what I want. Then right now I'm about 5 chapters ahead in planning, so I know roughly what I want each chapter to contain until Chapter 16. A lot of that is making sure I answer questions I pose in my stories. I have an excel doc for each fic I write, where I have tabs for characters (major and minor), chapter details that breakdown everything that happens because LITERALLY every time I want to reference something I can never find it. It also has any story plans, questions I still need to answer, foreshadowing plans (like how early I want to hint at something and how often I want to mention it until fruition) and then little things like maps or house design. It's more so I keep my story straight. HOWEVER, like I said, this story is super different. Generally my process is imagine a beautiful scene in which two characters fall in love, and then figure out some sort of plot around it. So you know. VASTLY different XD And yes, I can't get the tumblr link to work. But if you just enter in witchygirl99 "dot" tumblr "dot" com, you should find me! Thanks dear!

KAIRU: Oh wow, thank you so much dear :D That's so kind of you to say! I'm so, so happy that you're loving the fic. And you caught that, huh? Bravo! It's all about that step-by-step progress they're making. We're getting there, I swear.

Lola1991: Yeah, I totally know what you mean! I wanted to make her a part of the story in a far more real way. She's still going to be normal Kaede, and the whole "sight" thing will be better explained later on, but she'll be pretty integral moving forward so I'm glad you like her! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :D

SHOOK: AH. WELL HOPEFULLY I UPDATED NOT TOO LONG BECAUSE YOUR HEART NEEDS TO BE HAPPY AND BEATING :D Thanks darling!

Gabriela: XD Thank you so much! I hope this chapter was just as good :)

Guest: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you're enjoying it!

Guest: Nope, you're the wonderful one. Thanks!

Mal: She has been holding up, and I think even the latest Kagome chapters have been pretty clear of the dangers and situations she in. But as you just read, this chapter hurt a lot (or, it hurt me at least). I do love my new job, thank you! It's been pretty good so far. Kind of weird to be with a new company and re-learning, since I haven't really had to do that in a long, long time. But it's worth it. Happy Holidays love!

Aniar00: Ah, I totally get that. I usually avoid it because my husband tells me he wants to go to sleep, so I'll usually just go with. Otherwise, I'll stay up for hours reading and it's so bad. I feel like crap the next day. Hopefully you didn't! But wow, thank you so much. I'm so glad that the story was worth the morning read :D And thank you, about your comments on Kagome. That's the kind of picture I wanted to paint, honestly. It means a lot.

Anonnie: Thank you so, so much! Super glad that you enjoyed it :D

Guest: Oh thank you, dear! Hope the wait was worth it.

Guest: Well, now you have it. I'm so happy that you're liking this story of mine. It means a lot!

The Well: Aww, thank you so much! I am hoping to (one day) publish something, but I need to write a story that I actually like still by the end XD

MLQ: Oh wow, thank you so much. Your message was honestly one of the nicest I've read in a while and it's so lovely to hear. Thank you, thank you! It makes me so happy that there are people who really enjoy my little stories :D I love all of the characters in this fic, but you're right, Inuyasha is a favourite of mine. There's so much left to tell of him too, which we'll start to get more into shortly so yay! Thanks again love!


Author's Note: This is basically rock bottom. There is so much still to come in the story, but I promise you it won't be as painful as this. I promise. HAPPY, HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone, and a very Happy New Year! I'll still be posting every day until January 5th.

As always, feedback is love.