Hi everyone! *hides* I'm sooo sorry. It's exactly a month since i updated. I could blame authors block but really... its just I've been too lazy and tired to think of something good. This one's extra long just for you :) I hope more things start to make sense. I thought the story might be getting a bit boring so i kinda mixed it up a bit with the whole time jumping thing... its confusing but worth it in the end.... trust me :) So won't keep you waiting... thank you for those who haven't given up on me... I seriously appreciate it! This story is soon coming to an end..
i own nothing.... don't rub it in my face.
Broken Strings
Previously:
After a few more good-lucks. The stage went quiet and loud shrieks were heard through the stadium. The crowd began chanting "Jude and Tommy, Jude and Tommy."
***
The 'I love yous' that kiss and the biggest betrayal of all Tommy and Eden. He was a heartbreaker. He had broken my heart.
Chapter 10:
Sometimes you adapt. The consequences of your actions are forgotten and you just simply adapt. The whole point of this was always to make money, I knew, right from the start, that I needed to provide for my family. It wasn't a case of what if… it was crucial.
Given the chance, I grabbed it with both hands and I wouldn't let it go… no matter who or what I had to cross. Maybe that was what Tommy Quincy told himself too… only I didn't know his reasons for doing so, he sure knew mine.
Back 2 months:
No one's POV.
Jude came to know on the studio door with two coffees in hand. The hot liquid was teasing her, and annoying her at the same time.
She listened as a few chords were played by what she could guess was Tommy.
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
they're not enough
Those three words
Are said too much
Then the playing stopped and Jude kicked the door open with her foot.
"I like that, where's it from? Doesn't sound like your usual stuff" She said thoughtfully.
"My first album" Tommy replied.
"What the one that never got released? Frozen?" She asked, handing him his strarbucks coffee.
"Yes- wait how do you know that?" He asked, looking curiously at Jude.
"A girl did some research" Jude replied with a wide grin.
"Wikipedia had that??" Tommy asked, panic colouring his voice.
"Who said anything about Wikipedia?" She said humour evident in her voice, "I have a walking Tommy dictionary at home, a.k.a Sadie." Jude said with a laugh, and Tommy just looked at her funnily.
"My sister, Tommy. Not literally." Jude rolled her eyes. She smiled as she inhaled the sweet sent of her Caramel Latte.
"Tell me about your sister" Tommy stood up from the piano and sat down on the comfy black rug next to Jude.
"Well… she's probably very much your type. She has blonde hair.." Tommy interrupted her. "But then so do you." Rolling her eyes Jude continued. "I'm too feisty for your liking, you couldn't keep me on a leash" Tommy chuckled and nodded for her to continue. "Sades… is my big sister, she can be a complete pain in the ass but still I love her and she's probably the only person in my family who actually cares about my feelings." Jude shrugged. "She's like my mum. She makes me call her everyday and I give her a detailed report on how good your hair looks everyday." Jude busted out laughing at Tommy's shocked face. She had mentioned, several times, what an unhealthy, stalkerish crush Sadie had on Tommy.
"Jude Harrison that is not funny. I will have to punish you."
Her beautiful blue eyes grew wide and she jumped up, quickly put her coffee onto the piano and run off, with Tommy chasing her around the room, the two fell into a tangled mess on the floor. Quickly, Tommy began tickling her and she was screaming "Uncle, uncle, uncle."
Somehow the two ended up with Tommy on top of Jude, and a bright red Jude lay on the comfy rug, staring into Tommy's eyes, awaiting his next move. He was glancing from her eyes to her lips, not knowing what to do.
He contemplated his options, he could kiss her and pray that she wouldn't hurt him later, he could get off her and she'd definitely kick him (So Jude) or he could wait for her to do something. Anything. It seemed like she was waiting too.
After what seemed like a lifetime Jude started humming and she just pecked him on the cheek.
She crawled under him and smacked his ass lightly, giggling she took her worn brown journal out and picked the guitar up.
Tommy watched her, as she concentrated really hard on getting the perfect song. She could hear her singing the word under her breath but he never really quite heard enough to make the song out.
Tommy thought the girl was mesmerizing.
She started playing the opening chords and looked for Tommy's eyes. He looked at her and nodded. The two had a special connection when it came to times like this. She had missing words and Tommy would just help her along, it was a bit like fill in the blanks of a song.
You cant play on broken strings
You cant feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that aint real
Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late
Let me hold you for the last time
Its the last change to feel again
She sang what she had so far and he nodded in approval. He touched her shoulder lightly after she clicked off again into her world. He felt electricity burning his hand, feeling confident he pulled her chin up, and her big, blue eyes bored into his.
"Can I try something?"
She simply nodded.
Softly he pulled the guitar off her lap, and put her onto his lap. Never leaving her eyes, she felt comfortable, slowly, and passionately he connected their lips together, in soft, gentle kiss.
-x-x-x-
Go forward one month (this is a week before the concert):
Tommy POV:
I couldn't believe me! Just because I got jealous… she just had to over-react. It was her idea in the first place to hide our relationship. It isn't my fault Darious threatened to take her contract away if I didn't date Eden.
AGH! This is so messed up.
It is not Eden I love its Jude. Even Eden knows that! How frustrating is that?
Maybe I should recap.
After that amazing, mind-blowing kiss almost one month ago Darious announced that I had to date Eden. Jude was pissed. No more like heartbroken, then Jude decided to replace Eden on my new single- well that had something to do with Darious but still, she replaced Eden and the two started having these… bitch fights. Fighting over everything, and then Jude teamed up with Shay and I got jealous and she screamed at me, and slapped me, and well kinda broke up with me.
Jude POV:
He tells me who I can't hang around with? Romeo my ass. What the heck is his problem? I get it; Darious wants Tommy to date the skank, I'm the one sleeping in his bed, and I'm the one that writes music with him, I'm the one he tells his shit to, and I AM the one he comes home to in the end of the day… and all of a sudden he tells me I can't be friends with Shay?
I mean sure, the guy was not my favourite person either, but at least he was decent and to be honest, I knew, that it was because of Eden I hated him so much. He was just stuck in her claws at the time of out –very public- break-up.
Then Eden just had to go and say that she and Tommy are very madly in love, and made him say 'I love you'. That was just a little bit overboard.
It went something like this:
"So Eden, Tommy you guys are the it couple at the moment, how's everything?"
"Oh it's all going good." Good my arse, he can't stand you.
"Yeah, everything is just perfect at the moment, Eden is very supportive of my new tour coming up next week." Piss off, Eden can't get over the fact she's not fronting you, and some dancer is.
"Yeah, I'm excited to just see him up there, making all those girls swoon." Ha ha ha, aren't we funny?
"Yeah, I'm excited to sing with Jude, and to have all my amazing backup crew behind with me all the way" Tommy does deserve brownie points for this one, I can't deny that any interview that he has he does mention me, or the crew in some way.
"Yes, the show is going to be spectacular, and I'm planning to take the advantage of these last two days, right honey. I mean we just barely made it past the I love yous, never mind a tour" Insert little snotty laugh here.
"OOH so you guys really are serious then?"
"Well yeah, right honey, I just love Tommy so much." Tommy shifts uncomfortably and mumbles something, I could see from the pain on his face she stood on his foot.
"Of course, I love you too."
The end.
THEN HE TELLS ME NOT TO BE FRIENDS WITH SHAY? OR JAMIE, OR SPEID. Any guy…. Gay or not. He just had his girlfriend declare their love for each other, and I'm not meant to be angry.
I sat there, in my big, expensive room. The view was pretty but I needed out, I needed to think.
I got out my guitar and went down into the music studio. Kwest had been teaching me, in between the dance rehearsals, further techniques on the soundboard, I had begun mixing my newest song- broken strings.
Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything
When I love you
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking
It's the voice of someone else
Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay
You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real
Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late
Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay
You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real
Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late
You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real
Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last change to feel again
No more Jude and Tommy. We were going to end.
He needed his career and we couldn't work this out. Because it hurts, it hurts more than ever. It hurts that he couldn't say I love you to me first- as 1st grade as that may sound. It hurts too much because we were both fucked up. We were running from ourselves. Maybe I thought I could fix him, but I can't- I need to be fixed first.
And Tommy would not understand that.
He'll never know how much I truly love him.
??? POV:
We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.
