Addictions
"Nagi?" Omi called out in the dark room, the soft
glow of a computer scream filling the room with the ire blue tint
that Omi had always found so welcoming in his room. it seemed
that feeling had been robed of him when he walked fully in the
room, not bothering to turn the lights on.
"Nagi, I'm sorry. I brought you some dinner." Omi fumbled
in the dark to finally set the plate of steaming dinner down
on the small table separating his and Nagis beds.
"You shouldn't be sorry." Omi jumped at how close the
boy had managed to get to him in the dark, Nagi was sitting on
his bed beside him. His blue eyes reflecting the light of the
Computer.
"i should be sorry, for letting that happen." Nagis
face reflected the wetness of tears In the dark, yet Omi couldn't
see his facial expressions.
"You couldn't have stopped it Nagi, it wasn't your fault..."
"It wasn't yours either, Yohjis your friend. I guess it was
to be expected that you would stick up for him correct?"
Omi nodded, not sure Where Nagi was going with this, but not wanting
to interrupt his little partner. Nagi sighed thinking what he
said through.
"Schu, when he gets... Stressed, overloaded with thoughts,
or Feels like he's cornered and there's no way out. He explodes.
Like he did to you Omi, he just explodes. It's been very stressful
for him, living with you guys when he's so accustomed to us."
Nagi smiled, Omi could tell in the dim light, his smile was comforting.
"Schuldig may seem like he's But he's just an unstable
mess. He 's moody insecure and very fragile. He needs a constant
balanced, quite, environment, love and a stable position on his
way. Schuldig is just as fragile as a little boy." The
comparison sounded strange from Nagis lips, Nagi was a kid right?
He was a boy. Maybe he didn't consider himself one. But Omi did.
"I didn't know that." Omi said. He didn't, Schuldig
had always been so calm and controlling, so cool and collected.
It was hard to think the same man who had plotted his cousins
death, Needed to feel loved and be comforted and looked after.
It was almost impossible. Nagi looked own at his hands and sighed
a load off of his shoulders.
"Don't tell him I told you, he'll get angry again, I don't
want to put so much stress on the German man. He misses Brad
badly and just wants someone to love him. Yohji come naturally
as the oldest and his new roommate. I'm not saying it was right
for him to do what he did to Yohji, I'm just saying to cut him
a break, I can tell when he loses control. He won't remember beating
you, or controlling me. Using me," Nagi corrected himself
and turned on the lamp with out a movement of his hands. His
powers still gave Omi the chills.
"Why are we sitting in that dark?" The tears that had
stained his cheeks were dry, leaving red streaks down his pail
cheeks. Omi passed him dinner.
"I didn't want to wake you if you were asleep." Omi
offered and Nagi nodded. I slight look of shock failing of his
face as it was warmed by a smile.
"Thank you." Omi had a feeling Nagi meant more with
that muttered thank you then he let onto.
Schuldigs head hurt. It hurt like a bad hang over and drug
overdoes age. It hurt like he had been hit by a bus, it hurt
like he had dived into deep water and his ears had burst from
pressure.
To say none the less he felt like shit. And Schuldig was pretty
sure there was only one place he could be. In Yohjis room.
In Yohjis dark room with no light and no water. Schuldig sighed
and rolled over to his stomach. His hands and feet were bound.
Why? What had he done? Schuldig cursed as he moved, head throbbing.
It was dark in the room, but it could of been any time of the
day or night outside. He had lost track of time, memories lost,
a gap in time was torn away from his memory.
"Is anyone there? Hello! Help! Someone help me! HELLO!"
"Nagi!" Schuldig sighed, giving up.
Was he drunk again? Why was he like this.
Did he molest Yohji too much?
Or did Farfy just lock him in here and Kill everyone else?
Why would Farfarello not kill him too?
Schuldig laughed. His memory was getting worse and worse every
time he turned around.
"I want you to remember, he won't know what happened to
you. And not to shout at him, or... Think anything to loudly."
Nagi knew Schuldig would feel them approaching, and had made
sure Omi knew Schuldig would not be happy, but he would not hurt
Omi either. Schuldig was not like that. Not like Brad, as in
he just hurt for no reason. Even though you might not think it
at first glance, or first impression. Schuldig really didn't like
hurting people. It wasn't joy enough for him, Schuldig was more
centered around Sex, that was his escape.
Farfs'' was Pain .
Brads was Power.
And Nagi himself...
He didn't think he had one, no wait! Hate, hate was Nagis escaped.
It was failing him right now, But that was it.
"Your not that hateful Nagi-Kun." Schuldigs voice purred
to him as her entered the room. Omi was right behind him, banging
his clumsy cast on the door and wincing in pain. Nagi could tell
Omi was not mad at Schuldig, he felt sorry for him.
Nagi didn't know which one was worse.
"What happened to you kid? Got the crap beat out of you?"
Omi didn't quite know how to react to the question. Schuldigs
laughter died down as he searched through the young blond boys
mind to find the answer. Nagi moved to untie his friend after
turning the light on. Schuldig moaned as the light stung his eyes
and plopped stomach first onto the bed.
"It was me wasn't it?" Nagi smiled at his older teammate.
A pathetic half hearted smile, still a smile.
"Your just stressed out Schuldig, you need to go out and
do something besides sitting around here." Nagi untied the
harsh rope around his friends wrists. Yohji had insisted he was
tied and locked in a room while he was gone with Omi to the hospital.
"That bad eh?" Schuldig mused after Nagi finished untying,
feeling his tender wrists and looking over to Omi.
Omi stood there, not really sure how to manage this situation
of his.
"I'm sorry." Omi just about gaped at the words out
of the Mans face. Inside a million things were running through
his brain, a thousand questions and two thousand possible answers.
"Why." Was all he could manage and Schuldig smirked
at the shocked look on Omis face.
"I don't know, I can't remember, Remember?" Schuldig
scratched his head and sighed at Nagi. Did I do something to you
too?" Nagi looked away from Schuldig and Omi saw the hurt
look on the younger brunette.
"Yes, yes I did. Damn it all Nagi! Tell me before I get angry
again!" Nagi gasped as Schuldig took his face and turned
it towards the German so he could look into Schuldigs soul filled
eyes.
"You, you made me tell hidden secrets... and..." Nagi
choked down tears.
"You were in his head! And using your stupid Mind crap on
him! You brought him to tears Schuldig." Schuldig didn't
smile smugly like Omi though he would. No Schuldig didn't make
a smart remark after that, not like Omi expected.
Schuldig simply put his hand around Nagi, and brought the teen
into a embrace.
Nagi held onto Schuldigs Arms.
Omi saw tears resurface onto the boys cheeks.
"I'm so sorry Nagi, I would promise not to ever do it again,
but we both know it's not possible for me to keep that promise.
So all I can say is I'm sorry little buddy." Nagi sniffed
and fell into Schuldigs arms in a childish way, the boy that he
never go to be resurfacing.
Schuldig had always been a good friend. When it came down to
it, he was.
After all he had done to Nagi, Nagi couldn't remember having a
better friend. Farfarello didn't count. He didn't even know who
Nagi was sometimes.
"It's not your fault Schuldig." Nagi felt Schuldig
pat his head a comforting sensation.
"It never has been. It's this damned situation. It's too
much for you, you shouldn't say sorry to me." Nagi reached
out and snuggled into his older teammates chest. Butting into
his mind, the hardest thing Nagi had to say to Schuldig, he wouldn't
say it outloud: 'Say it to Omi'
Schuldig flailed and pushed Nagi off and out of his embrace with
a clear, disguised motion. After shaking himself Nagi gracefully
got himself together enough to glare at Schuldig for the sudden
outburst. Schuldig glowered.
"No!" Nagi stood up with a calm voice and stated his
opinion:
"You didn't hurt me as Much as you did him! Look at him Schuldig,
you think he will be able to go on missions this month?"
Schuldig cursed in his native tongue and held his head. Nagi was
think at him, directing waves of phsyc at him. It made his head
throb.
"Fuck you Nagi! No way HE'S getting my apologies!"
Omi clued into what was happening and shook his head violently.
"I don't want his apologies Nagi! He can keep them!"
Omi shouted at Schuldig with a determined sparkle to his eyes.
Nagi shook his head furiously, bunching his small hands into fists.
"No!" Nagi stepped forward.
"We work as a team now! We must trust each other! And work
together, and that means nothing should go uncounted for, Schuldig,
you said your sorrys to me. Now it's his turn." Schuldig
looked wildly form Nagi to the door. Hesitating for a moment.
A emotion flashed across his face that could of been hurt, but
covered in anger. Then as if making up his mind Schuldig pushed
past Nagi and out the door with a string of muffled curses.
Nagi could of stopped him, but Nagi really didn't have the heart,
nor guts to. Nagi knew the way Schuldig must feel. Schuldig was
so fragile, the slightest upset of power made him in for a downward
spiral.
Schuldig would go and pout somewhere until Nagi would come to
say his Sorrys.
That was only one problem with Schuldig usually flawless plan.
Nagi wouldn't come this time. He was right. They needed to support
each other if they were to survive. It was a fact that Nagi couldn't
get into Schuldigs' thick skull.
"Nagi, you didn't have to do that." Omi had taken this
all wrong, of course, centering it around himself. Omi thought
Nagi was doing this for him. No Nagi wasn't.
Nagi pushed past the older blond and out the doors to go find
what Schuldig was seeking at that moment. A quite place to think.
"Check mate! I win!" Farfarello danced around the
room with Kens king in hand. Smiling wickedly, yet happily. Ken
was still trying to figure out the Irish man, Farfy had been
drug free for three days now. Not a complaint in his bones. The
Bazerker had indeed been very normal. With the exception of thee
rather bad outbreaks Ken had managed to suppress with a simple
song Farfarello had taught him. It was an Irish tune that was
in English, Ken couldn't understand the words but Farfarello had
liked the tune. And was always humming it mindlessly to himself
when he was not thinking.
In true. Farfarello was a man of many talents. He was a amazing
artist, a great chess player and could speak more languages then
Ken had thought existed.
"How do you do that?" Ken looked at the chess board.
Farfy had won for the umpteenth time today.
"I can't tell you, then you would win." Farfarello
came to sit cross legged in the same stop he had been sitting
for three hours of Chess. A insanely happy look to him. At times
Farfarello was like a child, other times he was completely mature.
His reasoning was flawless. His ability to address situations
in life with a simple minds solution was astounding.
Farfarello looked at Ken as he lay back in the chair. His leg
was almost healed and his restlessness was beginning to edge at
him.
"Play again?" Farfarello wined, rolling over on his
back to look up at Ken.
"Farf, when are you going to get board of this game? You've
won how many times now?"
"Twenty six." Farfarello lulled his head over the pillow
so it was lower then his chest. It looked funny.
"Let's find something else to do." Ken got up with
little difficulty out of the red chair in the living room. Farfarello
got up with him and looked expectantly at the Athlete.
"We eat now?" he asked heading past Ken and into the
kitchen.
"I guess so. Yeah, I'm hungry too." Ken had convinced
Farfarello to not were the Collar any more. It creeped Ken out
alot. Instead Farfarello wore a silver chain with a cross on
it. The cross had been turned Red. With his own blood Ken had
assumed.
The leather close with the spikes had to go to, Ken was working
on a wardrobe of color for the pail man. Something that didn't
make him look so... Deadly. He was now, warring one of Kens Many
jerseys and a pair of shorts with track lines down them. It made
him look so much younger then his real age.
Hobbling along Ken managed up the stairs, daring to leave Farfarello
alone with himself in the Kitchen to go upstairs and check on
Omi and Nagi.
The pair of younger boys had taken a almost instant liking to
each other. They worked well together and if it wasn't for Schuldig
they would of most likely done the mission with ease.
Ken made his way up the stairs with a little effort into the other
twos room. With out knocking he entered the small bedroom. Yohji
had taken Schuldig out to talk and They had not come back yet.
"Hey! What's going on in here kids?" Omi smiled witch
equaled out Nagis slight frown.
"You left Farfarello alone?" Ken knew the response
before it was out of the younger Japanese youths mouth. He shrugged
and nodded, flopping down on Omis bed.
"Yeah, so? I think he's capable of it." Nagi sighed
and returned to the computer screen.
The room was small and lit with the warm glow of the small lamp
and the two computer screens.
"You'll regret it."
Farfarello peered into the pantry in search for something to
eat. He was quite happy today there had been no hallucinations
in a whole day. There had been nothing but a good day with his
Ken-ken.
Farfarello poured out some Rice crispys into a bowl and reached
for the milk when he felt a slight twitch to his left arm. Something
hitting him.
He looked down and there was a Kitchen knife sticking out of his
forearm.
'Now how did that get there?' he thought tugging at the knife
to free it from the bloody mess of Tissue. He looked at the blood
running down his arm and the knife. Frowning.
"I didn't put that there." He said to himself and looked
around the room. Someone was here. He dashed away from another
incoming knife. Looking wildly around for attackers.
"Show yourselves, come to play with Farfarello? Come on out,
Farfarello knows you too well." Farfarello took up a knife
and circled the room. He didn't want to call for help. What if
this was an illusion? What if ken was disappointed in him because
he was battling his imaginary fears again. He would not risk it,
even if the wound did seem real. He had no way of telling it was.
Another knife struck his right calf and tore downwards. Farfarello
didn't squeak as the steak knife cut his leg mussels. He went
down though. His leg giving in. His vision was starting to blur
from blood loss.
Farfarello knew it was not real when the blade shimmered above
him, it had no wielder yet it was attacking him.
He blinked and a single tear rolled down his eyes.
"I don't want to play today, please go away. I'm not insane
any more. I'm cured. You shouldn't be here." Farfarello
couldn't find the strength to stay in a sitting position so he
laid back down.
"Don't react to them, just don't even recognize they are
there, they are not real. They cannot hurt you, ignore them. Close
your eyes. It'll all be over soon Farfarello... Hush..."
Farfarello Whispered over the things Ken-Ken had told him to do,
humming a certain Irish tune to try and reconnect him to the world.
Farfarello closed his eyes, and couldn't find a will to open them
again.
"Farf!" Ken Omi and Nagi were standing at the Kitchen
doorway.
Blood soaked through onto the carpet of the hallways. Farfarello
lay in the middle of the floor soaked with his own blood. His
back, legs and shoulders were badly gashed in more then one spot,
dribbling a steady flow of crimson over the white floor. Around
him were several knives, all bloodied.
"I told you. he is not stable, I don't even see why you try.
he has never been in his life, sane. Why would you try now?"
Ken rushed past Nagi and slipped on the blood wet floor hitting
his head as he fell down.
Ken cursed and Omi came to help him. Steadying Ken they moved
over to the white man, even paler now that the blood had been
drained out of his body.
"Farfarello?" Ken asked as he placed a hand on his teammates
shoulder. Shaking a little. his effort earned him a groan from
the delirious Farfarello.
"Go away hallucination. I don't want to play today."
Ken smiled as the Irish man came to. his one Amber eye opening
and closing with the futile attempt to rise.
"Farfy." Ken touched Farfarellos shoulder and the Irish
man burst out in terror, grabbing one of the near knives and Pinning
Ken against the wall in a struggle to rid himself of his attacker
Farfarello stabbed into the wall. His mouth frothed with his own
blood and Saliva, making a pink foam drip down his trembling chin.
"I Will not let you! You lied to me! They have hurt me for
too long... I won't let them hurt you... Not..." Ken shivered
under the Mad mans grip, lifting one steady hand the athlete Pushed
a hand to touch the others cheek. Humming a soft Song to himself.
Farfarello let the knife go,
"No, what have I done..." Farfarellos one Golden eye
inspected the room, wandering for the course of the blood.
"...To myself?" Farfarello shook furiously as he looked
at his own blood stained hands. Coming out of a delusional state
he slithered Away from Ken. Mumbling incoherent thoughts.
Ken shivered from the death that had awaited him.
"Nagi..." Omi took the tranquilizer out of the younger
boys hands with a soft whisper. A sorrowful look coming over Omis
compassionate face.
"Leave the man," Omi watched the Irish man in the puddle
of his own blood. Whispering a English tune as he rocked himself
back and forth.
Nagi sighed and put down the Gun. Walking over to Farfarello he
knelt at the Mans feet and peered into the one clapped shut eye.
"Farfarello," his voice was coolly but kind as Nagi
put one hand on his teammates shoulder.
"No drugs!" Farfarello lashed out at Nagi like a a
striking viper. He hissed and caught the young boys arms. And,
with one fowl swoop, Brought Nagi under his Foot, holding him
by his arms.
"No more! I can't take it! Your driving me insane!"
Farfarello screamed at the top of his lungs. He looked at Nagis
pail hands in his flinging them back at the youth with a desgusted
look. Nagi backed away like a scared rabbit.
Farfarello stood triumphant for the moment. Looking to his former
partner, Ken.
Farfarello was hit with a pang of shame and guilt.
With a quick simple movement He was on his knees again. His
docile mod now engaged. Ken stared wide eyed at the man.
"Ken," Farfarello reached out towards the frightened
Athlete.
"Please don't be angry with me. I didn't mean to hurt you.
I was just trying to ignore them... But no matter how much I
tried they just kept coming. Like jackals in the night. You must
light a fire to keep them away." Farfarello Moved like a
ape, sliding across the floor till he came to sit just by Ken.
Ken offered a dampened smile as he gulped down the lump in his
throat.
"Farfy I'm not..." He had to hold out a squeal as the
Irish man Wrapped his arms around his midsection and cuddled
his head against Kens chest.
"You ARE my fire. You keep them away, don't let them come
again Ken. please. Don't let them get me. I tried so hard, I cant...
They just keep coming for me. Out of nowhere." Farfarello
closed his eyes in the comfort of his Ken. His sanctuary. The
voices stopped, almost instantly. Quiet sanity.
"Im's so tiered of beign this way."
"Only you can stop them, not Nagi, not Brad, not Schuldig,
Not sleep, Not hurt." Farfarello shook his head.
"No... Hurt is gone, Nagi is fake, Schuldig is a drug and
Bradly don't give a damn." Ken looked hopelessly lost, his
cheek burned with the blush that crept into his face. Omi smiled
and Nagi smirked a the scene.
Ken didn't want this contact, he didn't want to be THIS important
to Farfarello. He wanted to help the other man, yes. But not be
his savior. it seems the athlete had gotten himself into more
them he could handle.
"Farfarello..." Farfy put a finger on Kens Lips and
gave Ken a stair so intense it could of quieted the most deafening
of crowds.
"Sush," Ken sighed and Farfarello snuggled into him.
It was gonna be a long time.
May it be years or weeks.
He was sure this time would drag on for an eternity.
"So..." Schuldig and Yohji were still in the car.
Schuldig had not been included in the meeting they had secretly
been summoned to.
Missing all that information was a bother to him, and so he was
prodding the drivers Brain for answers. Which extremely disturbed/
annoyed Yohji.
"They said your behavior would cost us free time for this
week." Yohji let Schuldig have what he was looking for. And
the carrot top sighed.
"Us?" The German snuck a smoke from Yohjis Jacket Pocket
and Lit it.
"Yes, us, me." Yohji pointed to himself,
"And You." Yohji flicked Schuldigs nose. Then resumed
driving and glowered ahead onto the road. He was not happy when
he had learnt of that. He wanted to drink, and drink heavy to
forget this. Just for one night.
"So, let's pick up some liquor on our way back." Yohji
scowled at Schuldig.
"I hate that you can read my thoughts." Schuldig shrugged.
"Well, sometimes, I hate it too." Yohji frowned.
"What is that 'post to mean?" Schuldig sighed once
again
"Well, you wanna drink, I wanna drink. So, let's drink. There
was no rules to say we can't."
"What if you hurt someone? You are quite violent I see, when
you want to be." Schuldig shrugged once again, taking a
long drag on Yohjis cigarette.
"We'll do it when they go our for free time then."
Schuldig Slung an Arm over Yohjis Shoulders and Stuck the Cigarette
In Yohjis Parted lips. Sinking a kiss on his right cheek.
"Come on Yohji," Yohji wiped the kiss off of his cheek
with an annoyed glance.
"Please." Schuldig wined and flipped his head over As
Yohji pulled off the street and put the car in park. Schuldig
lay his head in Yohjis lap and looked up at the older blond. Yohji
smirked down at the man.
"You know how stupid you look right?" Schuldig tucked
one arm behind Yohjis back as the other tickled down Yohjis chest.
"I thought I looked quite seductive." He stated and
Yohji shoved The German off of his lap as he got out of the car.
"Hey!" Schuldig cursed as he scrambled to an upright
position in order to get out of the car to follow Yohji into the
liquor store.
