An. So this is a very short, appaulingly written chapter! I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment, but the next should be a lot longer and not so angsty and just generally crap!
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated, as always!
MBRB'xoxo
No sleep.
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer.
Won't stop.
Won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer.
Sometimes I feel I'm going down, I'm so disconnected.
Somehow I know that I am haunted to be wanted.
In the Shadows - The Rasmus.
The afternoon that had started quite innocently had ended up back at the Hunt household and, more specifically, in Gene's bed. With his Mother being out yet again, the pair had had the house to themselves and though unplanned, they had used it to its full potential. As her first time, Alex lay in the bedroom that was now so familiar to her, panic rising in her stomach. It had been a spur of the moment thing, the bite of the snow starting to fall driving them inside and an innocent kiss leading to...well...other things. As feelings that she couldn't quite pinpoint coursed through her, she looked up at Gene who stood buckling his jeans above her. He looked down at her tangled hair and slightly smudged makeup, an eyebrow raised and a smile on his lips that she was sure only she would be able to detect. The smile vanished as soon as he looked at her probably and he stopped what he was doing, instead perching on the edge of the bed that she was still lying in, one arm curled under the pillow beneath her head and the other curled close to her.
"Are you okay, Bollinger?" he asked her. She nodded trying to look as convincing as she could. It didn't work. "You're regreti-"
"No!" she interrupted him, not wanting him to think that she'd regretted a minute of it. "No" she repeated, softer this time now that she had his attention. "I just..." words wouldn't come and she sighed the paused, trying to word what it was she wanted to say. "I just didn't think that we'd move so quickly" Gene couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at her.
"It's been a fair few months, Alex"
"I know. I know. I just haven't.. well you knew that but..." she faded away without finishing her sentence, still unable to think properly about what had happened.
"I didn't mean to push you" he told he, lowering his gaze and feeling like an absolute prick. He'd thought that it was what she had wanted but the way that she was looking at him now with those big eyes and sullen expression said otherwise. Alex hadn't realised that she had been looking that way and the tone of Gene's voice made her realise that there were crossed wires. Reaching out to take his hand, she pulled it closer to her.
"I don't regret anything, Gene, are you crazy? No, I mean I just didn't wake up this morning thinking that I'd give you your Christmas present and then fuck you today, that's all" she explained, smiling. At her word choice, Gene couldn't hold back a burst of laughter and he looked from their joined hands up to her face that was smiling gently at him.
"You mean that wasn't my Christmas present?" he asked, trying to act the innocent that he so clearly wasn't. Alex rolled her eyes, pleased that the awkwardness that had been threatening to settle had been swiped away and she reached up to gently cup his cheek.
"Oi, you. Think yourself lucky you got the presents you did. That was just an added extra I guess" she told him, leaning forward to kiss him lightly before pulling back and glancing down at her top that had been left on the floor near his feet. His eyes followed hers and he saw what she was looking at and bent down to pick it up and hand it to her.
"Getting dressed then?"
"Don't sound so bloody disappointed" she said with an eye roll and then waited awkwardly as he kept on looking at her. "Could you,er... turn around?" For once, he surprised her by not making a 'witty' comment or complaining, instead shrugging slightly and getting up and making his way out the bedroom and to the bathroom, leaving her to sort herself out and get changed in peace.
"Don't take all day about it!" She heard being called from down the hallway and couldn't wipe the smile that graced her face because of it.
x-x-x-x
Leaving Gene was harder today than it was the others, and Alex felt her stomach drop a little as she gave him a deep kiss goodbye and watched as his little red car pulled away from the pavement. Pulling her key out of her bag, she slipped it in the lock and immediately heard someone on the other side preparing a lecture. With the door swinging open, she saw Caroline waiting to meet her with her hands firmly planted on her hips and a disapproving look pasted on her face.
"And where the hell do you think you've been?" Alex looked her up and down, already finding anger stirring within her. Over the last days, she'd found that even the sight of her mother got Alex riled up. With her opinion and levels of respect at an all time low, she paused for a moment, glaring at Caroline.
"Out" she said simply.
"Out? Alex, it's half 2! We've been phoning you all night!" Having not actually looked at the time since they went back to Gene's house,it came as a bit of a surprise that the hours had managed to slip away, but she didn't react, instead raising an eyebrow and giving a nonchalant look.
"Sorry. My phone was off" she said blankly and made her way to the stairs.
"Not so fast, Missy" Caroline called after her, making her stop and turn. She could see her dad standing in the doorway of the living room with his arms crossed. Disapproval sat alongside quite support for his daughter. Her dad had always been the far more lenient of the two and she had always felt that their connection was far stronger than that of her mother and her. She knew that Tim would not completely support her staying out late and not telling them where she was, she knew that he wanted her to be as independent and have as much fun as she could whilst she was young. Caroline ignored the look between her husband and daughter and plowed on. "You think that you can just waltz back in whenever you like and no one say a thing about it? You're 17 Alex, not 28. We've all been worried sick." Alex couldn't contain the eye roll that came in response to her words. Without bothering to reply, she turned on the bottom step and began to make her way up the stairs again. That was, until something Caroline had said processed with her. Slowly, she turned.
"'We've been worried sick"? Who is 'we'?" She had a feeling she new already.
"Evan" her mother said simply. Movement caught Alexs' attention and her eyes were drawn over to the doorway Tim was standing in. Evan was stood there with at least the sense of mind to look shamefaced, his eyes downcast and expression neautral.
"Oh. Yeah, I'm sure you were all terribly worried" Alex eventually said, her lip curling and a small stab of bitter laughter spilling out.
"We were, Lex" Evan chipped in. Alex saw red. Moving down a step so she was that little bit closer, she stabbed a finger to Evans face.
"Don't you even think about talking to me" she snarled, then turned on her heels and stormed up the stairs to her bedroom, closing the door behind her with an impressive slam. She could hear their voices drifting up from downstairs, discussing what to do about her but that was a problem easily solved with her music blasting, drowning out reality.
Sliding her phone out of her pocket, she saw the familiar envelope telling her she had a message.
Hey, lovely. I've not seen you for an age. Are you okay? School soon. Gah. Are you free at some point soon? I'm worried about you :( xxxx
The text from Annie made her stomach drop a little. She knew she had been abandoning the people that meant so much to her lately and she was now determined to set it right.
I'm so sorry :( I've been such a wreck lately. Been a bit of a shit friend, haven't I! :( Tomorrow?! Me. You. Shazza. Shopping? Costas on me? ;) xxxxx
Sending a text to Shaz straight after, she hoped that she would be able to make it up to the two girls in her life that she trusted with anything. Why she had been pushing them away, she didn't know. Perhaps finding out about her mum and Evan had had more of an effect on her than it should have, but it just felt like she didn't know anything for certain anymore. It was an uneasy feeling that she wasn't particularly fond of. And to know that he was downstairs now. Well... she's wasn't happy about it. Had he told Caroline that she knew? She guessed not but there really was no telling any more.
With thoughts spinning in her head at a mile a minute, Alex eventually managed to slip into a restless sleep, thoughts of Gene lulling her into a sense of safety.
TBC...
