A/N – You know when I started this, it was going to be about 6 chapters and then it got a few chapters longer. Anyway, I think I can still continue and hope you're still enjoying it.
Get It Right
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
And knowing she needed to change Rachel's maybe to an unequivocal absolutely, Quinn does end up opting to direct the movie. But it had not been an easy start as she had already sold her script. She had called Jackson immediately and they spent all of the evening and most of the night making calls and planning to get her script back. It took a lot of begging and enlisting Jackson's dad's bevy of lawyers to draft up new contracts but in the end, she had managed to not only get the rights to her script back but also convinced Steven to allow her to direct.
Steven had been looking forward to getting behind the camera again but understood exactly what it meant to Quinn and had acquiesced because he could see how in love she was with Rachel. As Executive Producer, he did insist on reviewing all the dailies and spending as much time on set as possible. Quinn also got him to direct a few of the other important scenes that didn't have Rachel in them.
Jackson had been almost livid initially when he found out the terms of her contract but it was a small price to pay. The squeal of Rachel's laughter and excitement over the phone as she confirmed that she would be directing her was reward enough.
It didn't get better on the first day though as Rachel had hidden in her trailer, refusing to come out and almost halting the entire production even before it could begin. She hadn't done it to be difficult even if that was what the DP and Casting Director had thought. Quinn had told everyone to take a fifteen minute break before making her way to Rachel's trailer.
It wasn't the biggest one on the lot as that actually belonged to two of her other co-stars. Both established actors who had demanded more money and their names sharing equal billing to Rachel's. Jackson had worked his magic though and got Rachel a good back end deal that ensured her a great stream of income when the picture did well.
He had no doubt that it would and got Quinn a huge cut of the profits in lieu of her agreeing to direct for free as per her negotiation with Spielberg. It was a gamble but he had such great faith that Quinn had to believe it as well. She just needed to convince Rachel that she really had nothing to be scared of. She knew that wasn't the reason Rachel hadn't come out. It wasn't that she wanted to throw a fit because of the size of her trailer but more due to the fact that she'd lost her sense of fearlessness.
"Hey." Quinn leans against the trailer door as she tentatively knocks on it. She can hear Rachel moving inside and hopes that she's fine. They had talked on the phone in the intervening weeks leading up to the production and met up every few days but Quinn had wanted to take things slow and usually either Kurt or Jackson would be there to run interference.
Overall though, they had managed to connect, talking about their interests and learning about each other. Quinn noticed how different Rachel was from her high school incarnation in that she didn't talk as much about herself or state her preference. It was slightly disconcerting but she remembered what Rachel had been like and slowly, she could discern flashes of the old Rachel Berry. It was heartening to know that she was still there beneath her tentative exterior and Quinn knew it would take time for her to fully embrace being that Rachel Berry again.
"Quinn?" Rachel opens the door, as she swipes her eyes, not wanting to show her tears or how afraid she was to Quinn. But her not actually showing up on the set was already an obvious indication that something was wrong. So when she opened the door, she expected to see Quinn looking at her worried and probably a bit angry. Only, Quinn was leaning against the trailer looking relaxed and the look she was giving her was one without judgment, a small smile tugging at the side of her mouth and Rachel feels her fear recede.
"We're all ready for you but if you need more time…" Quinn let's her voice trail off as she reaches out to take Rachel's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers and hoping that it signifies her support. "No pressure, I can tell everyone to go home. I think I may have some pull with the director." She smiles fully when she sees Rachel does.
"I.." Rachel takes a deep breath, her eyes closes as she raises her chin. "I'm ready." Her voice still more tentative than strong but she does not want to disappoint Quinn after all that she's done. Rachel knows that Quinn had agreed to direct without any pay and if the movie didn't do well, she wouldn't get any money because she had bought back her script as well. She didn't want to stop the production even before it got into full swing, just because she felt frightened and unsure.
It wasn't fair to Quinn or to all the other people who had turned up and Rachel knew that she wasn't a professional actress, at least not yet but she still had a strong work ethic and knew a lot of people were indirectly depending on her as well. She let's out the breath she's been holding in a shudder and bites her lip as she looks at Quinn again.
Quinn tightens her hold on Rachel's hand as she settles on the steps of her trailer pulling her down next to her and smiling as she sees Rachel's expression morph into surprise. "Of course you're ready." Quinn plays with Rachel's fingers, enjoying the sensation of just holding her hand.
But you know what? I think I may need a few minutes myself. It's my first big movie and I think the budget alone is about two hundred times that of my normal documentaries." Quinn sees Rachel give her a look of disbelief but she's also not really lying. Having Rachel there has made her braver than she thought she could be. She wants to prove that she's good for Rachel and knows that in order to do that, she'll have to ensure the movie was a success and Rachel had someone she could always rely on.
"But I'm not afraid because…. well, you're here and so is Kurt and Jackson and I know that if things get scary, well I can do this." She leans upwards and kisses Rachel. A chaste kiss by any standards but she still feels a jolt of attraction shooting up her spine even as Rachel presses forwards with the kiss.
Rachel knows Quinn is not afraid of directing her first feature although she can see that the blond is afraid for her and can't help but feel so blessed that she would say what she was saying just to make her feel better. "I'm ready." This time her words are confident even though they are whispered against Quinn's lips. She finally stands up and pulls Quinn to her feet as they walk hand in hand onto the set, for the first day of the shoot.
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
The decision to shoot the film as close to the chronological story had been Quinn's and it was a good one because she could track Rachel's confidence growing with each scene but what was amazing was how attuned they were to each other such that they could finish each others sentences and were always near each other except when Rachel was shooting a scene. Even then, Quinn would be so focused on Rachel, allowing her to explore her character and only giving direction after Rachel was through with the entire scene.
It wasn't always easy because Quinn still on most occasions reverted to hiding her emotions and Rachel was still very bashful with public displays of affection; the both of them still so gun shy in their initial attempts to be together.
For the first two weeks, it was still more misses than hits that the betting pool started by Jackson languished with odds for a lasting union of some kind pegged at twenty five to one. Jackson knew he should not make money off Quinn and Rachel but he just could not resist taking the bets because despite the external odds, he knew how much Quinn loved Rachel and the extent she would go to in order to win Rachel's heart.
So, with each passing day, even the most self involved person on the set and there had been a number of actors, extras and such, could see how much they were meant to be.
It was unsurprising that their quiet romance on the set was already becoming part of movie making lore especially during the third week of production. Quinn had just finished reviewing the dailies with Steven and he had been so full of praise for Rachel that all she wanted to do was to find her and tell her.
She had almost run Jackson over in her haste to find Rachel and her wide smile gave her away almost immediately such that he knew exactly what to say to her. "She's with Kurt. Apparently he found a dress that suited her scene in the restaurant." Jackson had been hanging around the set partly because he knew Quinn still needed some support but mostly because Quinn's Production Manager was cute and had given him her phone number the first day on set.
"That's great. How are things going with Julie?" She sees the tips of his ears turn red and a huge grin almost splitting his face and is so happy for him as she pulls him into a hug, almost knocking him over again. "Are you happy?" She holds on to him as tightly as possible, knowing that her own happiness had so much to do with him and hoping that he was slowly finding his own as well.
"Yes, although I may die of suffocation if you don't let go and give me room to breathe." He tempers his words with a smile that matches hers. Julie was nice and sweet and perfect for him and they made a good couple. But more importantly, he can feel himself letting go of Quinn.
She'll always be in his life, that was not up for discussion but she wasn't the sole holder of his heart any more. He could never stop loving her but it helped to know that Rachel apparently loved her more and she was finally happy. "So I guess the dailies look good?"
"Better than good. She's amazing. I always knew that but…"Quinn still cannot get over how well Rachel had taken to not only the role but the long hours and time spent in the recording studio and all the rest of the pressures that came with the industry. She had taken it all in stride and apart from the small hesitation at the start, had done so well while still giving her support to Quinn.
"I'm the one who's a mess. She's doing and saying all the right things but I keep second guessing myself with her, you know?" Rachel had made it clear that she didn't expect anything from Quinn except for what she felt comfortable in giving her.
Every morning, Quinn would wait outside Rachel's trailer to walk her to the set. Hands deep in her pockets as she leaned against the trailer, not hurrying the brunette but letting her take her time to get ready and the smile she gave Rachel when she opened the door was something to behold.
On most days, when Rachel was not in front of the camera, she would stand near Quinn, never hovering but always knowing when to reach out or massage the back of Quinn's neck when she had spent too much time looking through the camera lens and she knew that Quinn would have a crick in her neck at a place that she couldn't reach herself.
The both of them learning about a little more about each other every day, not because they were strangers but because they needed to find their own bearings, to realize that they were so different from their high school incarnations yet shared similarities that complemented each other.
Like how Quinn would hold open the door for Rachel or how she could always sense when Rachel felt uncomfortable or needed a break. Or when Rachel would push Quinn to admit out loud when she was frustrated or angry and would then in a blink of an eye, get Quinn to relax or understand that she could share her load and that Rachel wasn't weak and she was there for her. But Quinn was still hesitant about so many things because she didn't want to hurt Rachel again.
"So just tell her that." His exasperated tone is not because he's frustrated but he knows it will push Quinn to be open to Rachel. He's actually more surprised that Quinn was actually talking about her emotions and not hiding them away or ignoring them until they leaked out in other ways. He knows it has a lot to do with Rachel and he hopes Quinn recognizes that. "She doesn't want you to be the strong one all the time."
Quinn knows that he's right as she links arms with him and walks towards the wardrobe department, mulling over his words. She does not have time to fully assimilate everything as she passes some of the minor day players and overhears Rachel's name. She stops and listens, not wanting to assume anything but knowing she'll do anything to protect Rachel.
"…So I told them that Rachel Berry's nose probably could use a bigger trailer.." There is only some scattered laughter but it's enough to embolden the man to continue as he makes his next statement. "I mean come on...plastic surgery is a rite of passage in this town but maybe no one told her when she got off the bus from…where was it…" He trails off as he laughs at his own words.
"Lima, Ohio." Quinn can feel Jackson's hand on her arm, not exerting too much pressure but still holding her back. Her voice is loud enough for most of the people to turn and look at her but her eyes are fixated on the man who had made the so called joke. "She's from Lima and so am I."
Quinn shrugs off Jackson's hand and can hear him mutter 'God help him' under his breath but all she can see is red as she stalks up to the man, his eyes already wary but he still stands his ground as he casually looks at her, not acknowledging the precarious situation he had found himself in. He stands up and gives a smarmy smile the people around him even as he turns to Quinn.
"If I hear one more word about Rachel…" Quinn's voice is low and rough and her hands are already curled into fists but she still holds all her anger in as she stares the man down.
"It was just a joke." His tone is belligerent now as he crosses his arms. "It's not like it isn't true either." The words now are spoken with more bravado.
"Get off my set." Her tone final as she feels the anger within her build up and her hands shake a bit.
"That's ridiculous. I know you're friends and all.." It's his inflection on the word friends, like he's insinuating something else but is too cowardly to actually say it out, that makes her ignore Jackson's warning as she rushes forward, her arm already cocked and takes a swing at the guys nose.
The sound of the hit giving her enough satisfaction that it overrides the pain shooting up her arm even as she sees the man bend over cursing her name and threatening to sue. "You bitch, I'm going to..." His words cut off as Jackson twists his arm behind his back.
"Listen, I'd really think about quitting while you're ahead." Jackson looks at Quinn as she shakes out her hand, her expression still dark. He feels the man struggling and knows that Quinn won't let it go either. But at least luck is on their side when he sees the studio security drive up.
"Get him off the lot." Her voice is curt and she ignores the expletives laden diatribe directed at her until he uses Rachel's name again. Luckily Jackson's more prepared this time as he grabs hold of her, encircling his arms around her completely as they watch the idiot being escorted into the security car still muttering about suing Quinn.
He feels Quinn's body tense and he wants to tell her that he'll take care of the threat and all she needed to do was trust him but he knows she will always be protective of Rachel and is even more relieved when he hears her voice.
"Jackson, let her go." Rachel's worried voice catching his attention as his grip on Quinn loosens but he does not let go completely when he feels her sag against him. "I'm going to ensure that he doesn't cause any more trouble." He whispers in her ear even as he can see her pulling herself together more because she does not want to alarm Rachel.
"What's going on?", "I'm fine." Their voices overlap and Quinn can hear Jackson's low muttering of 'No you're not' which Rachel also picks up when she sees Quinn cradle her hand.
"What happened to your hand?" Rachel had been on her way to find Quinn. It wasn't that they had agreed to meet but it had become a ritual of sorts for them to seek each other out. It was mostly a closed film set and since Rachel was in most of the scenes and Quinn was directing, they already spent an inordinate amount of time with each other. However, Rachel always felt a pull to see Quinn and unlike before, she was learning not to suppress her feelings.
Kurt had found an amazing dress for her to wear in one of the pivotal scenes in the movie. It was when her character decides to undo her first bad decision and she had so much to draw on for the scene that at most rehearsals, she ended up crying and leaving her costars awestruck with the strength of her emotions. All she wanted to do was to find Quinn and share that with her.
Quinn's eyes flick to Jackson who looks at her pointedly, "I'm going to see that the guy is gone", before turning to walk away. She sees Rachel look at her questioningly especially after Jackson's words. Her hand is throbbing and all she can recall is her anger bubbling up and her need to stand up for Rachel. She doesn't want to explain it though because she knows Rachel will disapprove.
"I hit something." She sees Rachel's look of disbelief even as the brunette gently takes her hand to examine it more closely.
"Quinn, who did you hit?" Rachel's soft voice and the hitch in her words show how worried she is and it makes Quinn feel even guiltier.
"One of the extras was mouthing off." Quinn never underestimated Rachel's intelligence or her so called sixth sense. She regretted making fun of it in High School because most times, it had been Rachel's empathy and intelligence that helped her. She remembered Rachel's extension of help when news of her pregnancy broke as well as Rachel's soothing tone when she felt so guilty for giving Beth up to Shelby.
So she can see Rachel coming to the foregone conclusion of why she had acted so rashly. "What did he say?" Quinn hates the way her voice wavers because Rachel Berry was talented and beautiful and she didn't deserve to feel that she wasn't. She had hidden herself away for ten years and Quinn didn't want her to feel like she had anything to hide again.
"Rachel" It's funny how they use each other's names in so many different ways and to convey so many different things. It's not only about recognizing Rachel but also about expressing her love and support with just the right nuanced intonation and tenor. Quinn flexes her fingers around Rachel's hand, ignoring the pain as she pulls Rachel towards her, wrapping her arms around the diminutive woman. "It doesn't matter what he or anyone says. I love you and I was on my way to find you and tell you."
She knows Quinn is not telling her everything and she still feels so unsure sometimes. She used to be fearless and knows she's slowly allowing herself to take risks again and trust her own judgment. So Rachel knows she can push Quinn and demand to know what the extra had said about her. It was obvious from Quinn's demeanor that the words that were said were in relation to her and not about the movie or Quinn. Only, she also can see that Quinn is asking for her trust as she looks down at their linked hands.
She had done so much for her, not only writing the script and getting her an audition. Quinn had unconditionally offered her love and Rachel knows she is stronger because of it and not despite it. With Finn, she had subsumed her own personality and wants for his benefit and became someone so uncomfortable with herself. "So you thought hitting him was going to make him stop." She brings Quinn's hand up to her mouth and slowly kisses her bruised knuckles.
"To be honest, I wasn't thinking it and he kind of did stop." Quinn sighs as Rachel kisses her knuckles again, her pain now completely superseded by a different emotion welling up within her.
"People are always going to say things about me. And more often than not, they're not always going to be good things." Rachel needs Quinn to understand that she doesn't need protecting although she completely appreciates the gesture as she kisses Quinn on the lips. "You can't hit all of them." Her lips curve up as she pulls back to smile at Quinn.
"I know." Rachel's proximity sending shivers down her spine but she knows she has to say what she's feeling as much as just showing Rachel. It made her feel better when she threw the punch but she realizes that the after effects would have repercussions not only on her but on Rachel as well. She has no issue with handling them but it was unfair for Rachel to have to live with what she had done or be tainted by it in any way. It was difficult being in a relationship when so much was at stake but Quinn knows that she has to try.
"It doesn't mean I'm not going to over-react and protect you even if you don't need it. What he said…" Quinn closes her eyes as she controls her feelings of righteous indignation that is building up"…. it was stupid and you wouldn't have cared but I.." She'll always feel a need to make up for what she did in the past and Quinn knows that she's more liable to overcompensate because of it. "I just couldn't let it go. I was wrong and I'm sorry."
Rachel continues smiling knowing how difficult it was for Quinn to admit that and knows just what she needs to say because Quinn was truly worth it. "So I'm not condoning violence in any way but.." She leans in her hand on Quinn's shoulder and whispers in Quinn's ear, "just knowing you actually decked a guy just to defend me…well it really turns me on."
Quinn's eyes go wide as she takes in Rachel's words, not sure if she's joking because of her smile but swallowing audibly because Rachel's voice had dropped to a seductive whisper that made her feel things she knows she can't, at least not yet.
They've only just started talking and like just now, shared a kiss or two or five but even though Quinn wanted to go further, she didn't want to push Rachel. And she always took all her cues from the brunette, only initiating one kiss a day if she could and leaving Rachel to decide if she wanted more.
It was a promise she made to herself and one she kept to with almost religious zeal because she didn't want to scare Rachel away with how strong her attraction was. However at most times, she had to force herself to recall various poems she had read or stick to doing mental multiplication tables in order to distract herself from her almost magnetic attraction to Rachel.
But at times like this, when Rachel would say something so guileless, it would send her pulse racing and make her seriously consider throwing all caution to the wind. Only she would then recall what happen when she had done so initially. She still considered it part divine intervention, part Jackson intervention that finally got Rachel to her doorstep.
Quinn just didn't want to frighten Rachel again. It was still complicated because she was technically still married to Finn. Divorce proceedings had started and since neither party was going to contest it, it would come through relatively quickly. So all Quinn could do was to force herself to be patient and take so many cold showers that she knows pretty soon she'd have to add ice cubes.
"Umm, I…I need to go and..umm.." She sees Rachel biting her bottom lip trying to contain her laughter and Quinn lets out a sigh, more frustrated than confused. She had been right in that Rachel was just teasing and maybe the brunette just didn't get how affected she was. "I'm going to you know, go and see if Jackson needs any help." Quinn turns to walk away only to feel Rachel grab hold of her arm and pull her in.
Rachel still cannot fully comprehend how Quinn could love her so fully. She was a mess and still had so many insecurities and the same old idiosyncrasies. Yet, every time Quinn looked at her, it was with such reverence and love that she felt beautiful and special. She knows that Quinn had been holding herself back because even she could see the hunger in Quinn's hazel eyes.
And it excited her as much as it scared her. Rachel wasn't afraid of the intimacy but this was new to her, not only being with a woman but being with someone that she truly felt connected to. Try as she might, she could never find that spark with Finn and had always thought that it would come with familiarity. But in the end, it never materialized.
With Quinn, Rachel could feel a pull, a nebulous link that made her feel whole and kept her wanting more. She pulls Quinn towards her, capturing her lips even as her hands pull on Quinn's coat, working their way under it such that her left hand is splayed across Quinn's back and her right one resting on the swell of Quinn's chest, rising and falling with each heartbeat.
Her tongue pushes into Quinn's mouth and the moan she illicit from Quinn makes her knees go weak even as she feels Quinn's hand tangle in her hair. She pulls back enough to whisper the word before the need to taste Quinn again engulfs her. "Trailer."
And Quinn can only acquiesce as she finally pulls back and takes Rachel's hand in hers before striding to Rachel's trailer, both of them finally ready to move forward together.
End Part 10
So just off canon, Quinn's turned on by artistic people and it's nice to see what Rachel's turned on by . Anyway, I'm off for my vacation trip plus a side business trip. I am still writing on planes but there are just so many other things to do so next chapters will probably be the shorter interludes. I'll also get to answering the reviews soon.
