so sorry about the lateness. but my internet was down and I spent half the day on the phone with verizon trying to fit it -_-
hope you enjoy :)
disclaimer: if i owned frozen helsa would be head cannon already
X~X~X
"Elsa. Elsa! Psst!"
Elsa opened her mouth widely to yawn. She sneered, her eyes still closed. She was enjoying her dream until..whoever this was came along. "Whaaaat?" she whined, her voice lower than usual and thick with sleep.
"Come with me."
"What?" Elsa's eyes shot open at the unusual request. She recognized those green orbs anywhere. Even in the dark of night, they shone brightly. "Hans! What are you doing here?" she sat up quickly and covered herself up to her collarbone with her thick comforter out of habit.
"I want to show you something," Hans whispered. He smirked at Elsa's appearance. Even after being woken up out of a deep sleep, she still was beautiful. Her hair was down and still wavy from the day before. He didn't know if it was the darker lighting, but the contrast of her eyes and the still room were mesmerizing. He wanted to chuckle at her extreme modesty, but he kept it to himself. He didn't want another reason for Elsa to be angry with him.
"What are you doing?" Elsa asked when Hans took on her her creamy hands and began to pull her out of bed. She was still in a dazed out state and confusion clouded her thoughts.
"Why do you ask so many questions?" Hans whispered back, so quietly Elsa barely heard it. Even in the dark, she could tell he was smirking.
She wanted to say no; at least, her mind did. Yet, once her eyes adjusted to the lightless area, her heart decided otherwise. Hans looked devilishly playful. His freckles were even more prominent against his pink skin, still red from the previous day's injuries. His eyes were wide and full of mischief. The most tempting thing, however, was his held out hand. Once he'd gotten her out of the bed, he let go of her hand, letting her decide what she wanted to do. His hand was outstretched, an invisible magnet pulling hers towards his.
He knew her too well, she understood already, but somehow it didn't leave her scared. Only a week ago, their relationship had been so different, so simple. And now, they had so many problems and unanswered questions that neither wanted to talk about. Together they were toxic, yet Elsa was close to addiction.
"I should have never invited you to that damn party, shouldn't I?"
Hans' face grew solemn at this. "No. But something made you." And just as quickly as it appeared, the serious face was gone, and the twinkle in his eye was back.
She took his hand.
X~X~X
He took her farther than she imagined. She didn't know he knew the area so well; or maybe he didn't. Either way, it was an adventure all in itself. Elsa spent most of her childhood here, yet the dark erased almost all of her memory. It wasn't until they'd made their way secretly out of the house and into the brisk street that Elsa's instincts kicked in. She smiled, breeze flowing through her hair as she was dragged willingly behind Hans. She was surprised at how quickly he was recovering. She could only faintly see his limp, and his face was clearing up nicely. She knew where they were going now.
At the end of the street was a patch of long grass and tall trees, that led to a playground that was a well kept secret to only the neighborhood kids. No one knew exactly where it had come from. As children, their minds were more focused on their imagination rather than questions. As she grew older, Elsa had almost completely forgotten about the cherished play set. Good memories here were scarce, and Elsa was glad to be reminded of such a nostalgic one.
Hans slowed down once they were three houses away, obviously fatigued and sore from yesterday's endeavors. He was about to let go of Elsa's hand, but she held on tightly. He tried to hide his smile. "Sorry, I got a little over excited over there," he said in a normal voice sheepishly.
Elsa could see his blush in the harsh street lights. "I'ts okay. It was kind of...convincing. Without it, I might've still been in bed," she smiled shyly and tucked a thick strand of hair behind her ear.
They walked in silence until they reached the overgrown foliage. Somehow, ti comforted them both to be in the stillness. Knowing that no words needed to be said, that somehow when they were together, things were going to work out. It might not be the way they wanted, nor a picnic in the park, but if they had each other, it could turn out okay.
"You know where I'm taking you, don't you," Hans stated rather than inquired when she practically led the way towards the playground. He tried to hide his disappointment. He'd gone out after everyone else had gone to bed, just to find the perfect spot to apologize to Elsa. He'd thought since it was so overgrown and full of graffiti that people like Elsa would never come there. But it was secluded, and the stars cast a mysterious glow that Hans knew would spark Elsa's interest.
"You seem to forget that I grew up here. I was also a child, believe it or not, and a mischievous one at that. I practically discovered this place," she replied, weaving her way through the thick leaves and branches until reaching the all too familiar clearing.
Elsa didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. The place looked even worse than it did when she was small. The playground, which had consisted of four swings, a double slide, and monkey bars, looked completely trashed. Half of the swings were either gone completely or broken, laying on the ground waiting in vain to be played with again. The slide, which had bad cracks in it when she was a child, was completely torn in two and laying lopsided on its foundation. The wood on the monkey bars had molded and pieces came off with the soft wind.
"This place was fun to you?" Hans asked with exaggerated question. He kicked softly at the slide, which only creaked and moaned in return.
"Well, it wasn't this horribly destructed ten years ago," Elsa tried pathetically to stick up for broken memory. She sat down experimentally on one of the swings, almost completely black with graffiti.
"I'm trying really hard to not judge you right now," Hans responded. After seeing that her weight was supported by the old swing set, he joined her on the adjacent one. Fortunately the other held his lean build as well.
"Hey, you're the one who brought me here," Elsa pointed out, swinging her feet softly. "Why did you bring me here, anyway?"
Hans swung in unison. "I just...wanted to apologize."
Elsa looked at him, silently encouraging him to continue.
"I mean, the last times we've spent the night under the same roof haven't actually been very great," Hans started, looking down at his sneakers. "And I know I haven't really been the ideal person to spend your vacation with. I mean, I've been awful to you."
"I haven't really been the nicest person either," Elsa added in, trying to make him feel better. She did want to hear his apology, but after the last twenty four hours, she knew he wasn't emotionally stable and could use some help.
"Yeah, but you still took me in. You still cleaned me up. You didn't push me to tell you what happened. And when I did, you didn't judge me for it. You let me stay at your house, invade your family time. Christ, you let me stay the night, completely disregarding our history. Why, Elsa?" Hans said, swinging a little to the left to get closer to her.
"I'm not the only one who's been trying to patch up this relationship. You also seemed to be working on it. I mean, I've been playing with you this whole week, kissing you one moment and kicking you out the next. I'm still surprised you came to me for help, even when I've been heinous to you.
"Sure, we aren't buddy-buddies now, but it's better than being arch enemies. We both still have issues, hell we have more than enough of them, but I think we're making progress. I mean, this time last week I couldn't even bare looking at you, much less having a conversation at three in the morning on some rickety old swings," Elsa chuckled softly.
"What happened?" Hans whispered. He knew he didn't need to explain further for Elsa to understand. The reason she was so introverted, so content with being an outcast. He knew she didn't get asked this a lot. Even if she did, he knew she would never answer honestly. But since both of them were here, putting heir feelings on the line, he'd hoped she would say the truth. After all,he'd opened up quite a bit. He just wanted that to be reciprocated.
"It just wasn't one thing. It was a collection of events. When I was little, I used to be really outgoing. At my birthday parties, we used to go so all out that sometimes I'd invite my entire class. And everyone would show up. My mother used to say confidence was attractive, and I was a damn magnet. I know it's pretty hard to believe, but I loved human interactions. I loved the first day of school, because it means I got to see more people and talk more.
"We lived in Arendelle at that time, that is, my parents, Anna, and I. We were the epitome of the average American family; weekly walks to the park and sitting at the dining room every night for dinner. I loved my family. Especially my dad. We were really close. Once a month, we'd go roller blading and get ice cream afterwards. It was one of my favorite things to do with him," Elsa smiled sadly and paused to regain her thoughts. She hadn't talked aloud about her father in years, and she didn't remember how hard it was. "That was why it was so hard to grieve for them. I couldn't bare the thought of living without them. After that, Anna and I became close. I never knew how much she looked up to me until our parents died. I was ten; Anna was eight. It was a car accident."
Elsa stopped, a chocking sob interrupting her soliloquy. She put her head down. Hans didn't know what to do. He'd never been much of a comforter because no one ever wanted his comfort. So he decided to do what they did in movies. He only held her and whispered apologies in her ear. The embrace was sloppy and uncomfortable; after all, they were sitting on old swings with cold chains. He didn't say anything other than the stereotypical 'sorry'. He was ashamed of himself, and part of his 'sorry' 's were how he couldn't be there for her during her time of need.
"You don't need to say anything else, Elsa. I understand," Hans tried, and feeling confident, kissed the top of her blonde head. He didn't realize how cold and shivering she was until he held her, feeling the icy vibrations running through her torso. "Are you cold?"
Elsa nodded, her head still down. She was embarrassed. She had thought, after all these years, she'd e able to tell someone. That it wasn't only her parent's tragically sudden death that made her this way. There was something much bigger she was hiding for over a decade, that no one had ever known about. Except for him. She cried even more at the thought of that disgusting thing that passed for a person. She wanted to tell someone, especially when it happened, but she had become too shy. She was not the attention seeking little girl anymore. She didn't want the attention that telling her story would bring. So she'd kept quiet. And it had been slowly eating her away.
"Here," Hans said gently, handing over his leather jacket and draping it over her shoulders. "I'm sorry. You didn't have to tell me."
"No, but I wanted to," Elsa sniffled, raising her head just a bit. She was grateful for the darkness. She wasn't a pretty crier. "A-and there's more, so much more, and I thought I could tell you, and I wanted to but..I just..," she trailed off, biting her lip to keep the tears from coming again.
"It's okay. You don't have to say anything else right now," Hans whispered, still holding her, even though the chain was digging into his arm painfully.
They sat in silence, memorizing the scene and the feeling of each other. The crickets chirped annoyingly around them, but somehow it comforted them both. Finally Elsa spoke again. "You know, the guy usually gives the girl his jacket when he likes her," she smiled, feeling confident. Somehow being vulnerable made her feel more powerful, more flirtatious.
"Maybe he does," Hans played back. "And if I recall, a kiss usually comes after," he leaned in closer, her bright eyes and small smirk giving permission to caress her cheek.
"Oh really?" Elsa flirted, licking her lips quickly and gazing up into his green eyes.
"Mhm," Hans said before their mouths were too busy kissing to do much talking.
They stayed there, kissing and talking nonsense until the sun rose in front of them, beyond the trees.
X~X~X
:')
review please. i always love feedback.
