A/N - Sorry for the late update. I had hoped to update on Sunday, and I wrote this yesterday, but I was too busy to post it. I want to say thank you to the 5 people who favorited my story, my 10 followers, and my 13 individual reviewers.

So, please read and review.


Apollo Loses his Poetry Contest: Apollo got last place in his poetry contest last week, and swears to get revenge on the judge.


Apollo: I'm the god of poetry! How did I get last place?

Artemis: What was your poem?

Apollo: It was great!

I'm great at haikus

I've liked them for centuries

I will win this thing

Artemis: Wow, Apollo. Terrible haiku. And the judge is a mortal. What do you think he thought when you said you'd liked them for centuries?

Apollo: Um...

Athena: I'm not surprised you lost.

Apollo: It wasn't my fault!

Artemis: Oh, who's fault was it?

Apollo: It was Apollo's!

Artemis: Of course it was. It was your fault, and nobody else's.

Apollo: No! Apollo got 1st place! And he messed with my mind!

Hermes: Um...didn't you say you lost?

Apollo: No! The Roman Apollo won!

Apollo: Of course I won.

Apollo: Excuse me?

Apollo: I do decent poems, not that haiku rubbish.

Apollo: Haiku rubbish?

Apollo: I did a limerick. A good poem.

Percy Jackson: Uh, didn't the Romans, like, hate poetry and other arts?

Apollo: We didn't hate them, we were just not as in love with them as you Greeks.

Percy Jackson: Um, but didn't you have, like, other responsibilities?

Apollo: I drove the sun. But that doesn't mean I can't win a poetry contest now and then, does it?

Percy Jackson: No. No, of course not.

Apollo: So, that haiku-crazed Greek god recited some lame haiku, and I blasted him out of the water.

Apollo: With a lame limerick.

Artemis: The limerick was probably better than one of the ones you recited a couple of centuries ago.

Apollo: Oh, it definitely was. That fool can't recite a poem to save his life.

Hermes: Wait, Apollo, if you're Roman, how did you get on this?

Apollo: Graecus, you made this forum accessible to any god or demigod.

Hephaestus: I did, but that wasn't an invitation for a Roman to come.

Apollo: We will topple your empire - oh, wait, you never had one.

Hephaestus: We were still strong.

Apollo: Not as strong as us, graecus. Once we defeat Gaea, we will destroy you.

Zeus: You will not.

Apollo: We will. Expect us soon.

Zeus: You won't bring us down.

Poseidon: You won't.

Zeus: Fear us, Romans! You will never prevail!

Poseidon: Apollo?

Apollo: I will turn that judge into the weasel he is.

Hermes: Um, which Apollo is that?

Apollo: Me. I'm Greek. This Apollo.

Hermes: Good. Um, and was that just you fooling around, or was it...was it actually the Roman Apollo?

Hephaestus: There were two users signing as Apollo.

Hermes: Oh, great. Now we have to worry about the Romans infiltrating this forum. Our lives, too. Can you do something to keep them off this forum, Hephaestus?

Hephaestus: Not really. The damage has been done. Sorry.

Apollo: I will kill him.

Hermes: Who? Apollo?

Artemis: Yourself?

Apollo: No! The judge!

Artemis: Oh. *Yawns* Yeah, the judge.

Apollo: He said...he said...he said that...

Athena: Wasn't there more than one judge?

Apollo: Yeah, but there was a head judge. And he gave me last place. Me, the god of poetry...

Artemis: The god of really bad poetry.

Percy Jackson: I agree.

Artemis: No, you don't agree with me. I'm fine with anyone agreeing with me, as long as they're female.

Percy Jackson: Hey, it's not like I can control my gender.

Apollo: You're both waaaaaay wrong. I'm the god of totally awesome poems.

Artemis: Sure. Whatever.

Apollo: Here's proof:

My haikus are so

Great, they are awesome

Because I'm so cool

Artemis: Can I vote against that?

Athena: Me too.

Artemis: I know, right? His haikus aren't good, neither is he...

Apollo: You're both so - *sniff sniff* - mean. Just mean.

Artemis: Honest works, too.

Athena: It does.

Apollo: Can I insert a word there, Athena? The word is not.

Hermes: The word isn't what?

Apollo: The word I want to add to her sentence is not.

Hermes: Isn't what?

Apollo: It isn't the word I want to add? I don't know, maybe the word isn't, but it is because I said it was in my haiku, but wait, I didn't, I said it was it, but that doesn't make any sense...

Hermes: What the Hades?

Hades: Oh Zeus, they called me again. Oh Zeus, they keep calling my name. Oh Zeus, the people woven into my underwear keep complaining about the smell.

Percy Jackson: What?

Hades: Oh Zeus, demigods are polluting this forum.

Hermes: Um...

Apollo: Hi, Hades! I like this trend! Oh Zeus! Oh Zeus!

Zeus: Yes?

Apollo: Nothing.

Zeus: Bye.

Apollo: Bye! Oh Zeus, he's leaving!

Artemis: Shut up, Apollo.

Apollo: Oh grumpy sister!

Artemis: Shut up before I make you. Uh, before I make you shut up.

Apollo: Yeah, yeah...

Hades: Oh, I see today's topic. What're you going to do to him, Apollo? In what manner will you send him to my already full kingdom?

Apollo: I've already got it all figured out. I'm gonna cut his four limbs off and give one to each of the winds, just like Zeus did with his air control guy. Then I'm gonna turn his remains into a weasel, and - assuming he's still living, of course - let him live like that for the rest of his short life.

Artemis: Um...nice.

Apollo: I know, right?

Artemis: I was being sarcastic. But of course you wouldn't know that.

Apollo: You're a bully.

Artemis: I wasn't the one to plan out that way to kill a judge.

Apollo: But he deserves it!

Artemis: And I could say that you deserve to...to listen to your own poetry.

Athena: I think he'd like that.

Artemis: *Sighs* Yeah, he has a very big ego.

Athena: Yeah.

Artemis: Hephaestus can't cut his Internet connection, so...

Athena: So what?

Artemis: Be right back.

Hermes: Oh, I guess she's gone to solve the problem.

Apollo: What problem?

Hermes: You know what I mean, Athena? The problem?

Athena: Oh, you mean...yeah, I get it.

Hermes: Him.

Apollo: Seriously, you guys, what problk hji,b;6sfg

Athena: That problem, Apollo. You.

Apollo: Nicely placed arrow there, don't know if anyone saw. This is Artemis here. Apollo has a soft skull. And his defense was down. He'll be all right soon.

Hermes: Awesome. You mean you...you just...Awesome.

Apollo: Yeah. Thanks.

Hephaestus: Now that the problem has been dealt with, I should close this thing down.

Athena: Good.

Apollo: Very good. Ah, he's getting up...give me a second...good, he's out for another five minutes, at least.

Ares: Alright, what'd I miss?

Apollo: What? Ares?

Ares: Oh, no haikus, good. So?

Apollo: You missed everything. Apollo came in. The Roman Apollo, I mean. And I've decided never to recite another haiku again.

Ares: Really?

Apollo: Nah, I wish. You see, I'm really Artemis. Dealt with a problem here, you see: Apollo.

Ares: So I missed everything. Oh well. Be back next week.

Hephaestus: See you all then.