Author's Note: Thanks so much to Colin Creevey for reviewing!


April 1997 (Flashback)

"And... th-th-e-un... then... th-the... m-m-ma-ay-in... man. And then the man," the four year old Flannery Leebin puzzled out from the hard to make out letters on page.

He grinned and looked up to see if his mummy was pleased, she seemed to have fallen asleep though. She was lying in the bed beside him, her faded reddish-brown hair falling over the edges of her pale, waxy skin. He thought she was looking a bit better though, at least her skin looked less gray apart from the shadows beneath her eyes. His mummy got sick a lot, he just had to be a good boy and look out for her when she was sick like she did for him. Except he never got as sick as she did, he never had to go to St Mungo's like she did and it was where they were now with people bustling around them. He didn't mind, his uncle Hogan worked here and the other people were nice, Flan felt bad for them being sick or hurt and all.

"Mummy?" Flan prompted gently of his mummy, after all she may just have been resting her eyes.

His mummy gave him no answer though, she was sleeping. He debated whether to keep reading or not, she had asked him to read for her and she may be sleeping now but she could always wake up and hear him reading for her. He probably should keep reading, he needed to practice she said. He wasn't very good at reading, his best friend Selby was way better. Flan thought his eyes might be broken, Selby said letters weren't supposed to be blurry and that's why he could read easier. Plus people seemed to think some colors were different to what Flan saw.

"Flan," a familiar voice called, saving him from his dilemma as he saw his daddy and Uncle Hogan walking over to him. They were identical twins but Flan thought they were pretty easy to tell apart, his daddy had a scar on his eyebrow and they almost always seemed to wear the clothes they need for work as an Auror and Healer respectively.

"Daddy!" Flan cried happily and ran over to his daddy, surprised to see him so soon when usually he was at work at this time.

"Hey Flan," his daddy said, his tone devoid of usual enthusiasm as Flan threw himself into his daddy's arms, his daddy hugged him briefly before pulling him away and crouching to his level like when he was serious. His expression was serious, he put his hands on Flan's shoulders, "Flan, I have to talk to you about something serious."

"Um... Okay," Flan nodded uncertainly, gazing into his daddy's cyan colored eyes and starting to feel a bit worried, "Is it about Mummy?"

"No, she should be alright," his daddy shook his head, "It's about your friend, the Montgomery boy."

"Selby?" Flan guessed, vaguely recalling his best friend's last name and his daddy nodded.

"Yes, last night... last night a bad man- a Death Eater even, he um... he hurt Selby."

"Is he going to be okay?" Flan asked worriedly to which his daddy opened and closed his mouth several times.

"He um... Err..."

"No," Uncle Hogan interrupted bluntly, "He's going to die."

"Hogan!" his daddy hissed immediately while Flan felt his heart explode inside, death was bad, "He's four years old for fuck's sake, show some tact."

"Did- Did you just hear what you said right now? You swore-"

"And I swore with tact, they're two completely different things," his daddy insisted to which his uncle merely smirked.

"I don't understand," Flan winged worriedly and the adults both sobered immediately, "Isn't there anything you can do to stop him dying or cure him from the dead? Can't you make him better? I don't want Selby to die."

"Well there's a slight chance-"

"Don't get his hopes up," Uncle Hogan hissed, "Trust me, his injuries are too are too severe. The odds are million to one he'll pull though."

"But there's a chance-"

"And better a miracle recovery from a hopeless situation then to crush his hopes because he thought his friend would be okay, hope for the best but prepare for the worst - and unfortunately more likely - situation," Uncle Hogan said seriously and his daddy sighed before glancing back to him.

"They'll do everything they can, Flan, but don't get your hopes up," his daddy told him gently, "Just because we have magic, it doesn't mean we're all powerful."

"Can I see Selby?" Flan wondered and the twins exchanged a look of surprise.

"If you really want to and it's okay with your dada," Uncle Hogan agreed slowly, "He's going to be weak and sleepy like your mama though, he may not even wake up at all."

"Okay," Flan nodded in understanding.

"Well okay then," his daddy stated reluctantly as he stood, "I have to talk to his parents anyway for the report, you can say goodbye while I'm doing that. Never done a report for someone I actually knew before, this is going to be bloody awkward."

His daddy took his hand and spared a glance at his sleeping wife before they set off, following Uncle Hogan through the all too familiar halls although Flan didn't know the names of the floors. The words were too blurry and usually bigger than he was used to, Selby might be able to- Flan cut that thought off before letting it finish, Selby probably couldn't do anything when he was going to die. He gripped his daddy's hand tighter for comfort, he knew what dying was but he didn't really know anyone who had died before. Forever was a long time for someone to be gone.

"Flan, are you sure you want to see Selby?" his daddy asked him gently as they reached a ward that Flan would guess was the right one, purely because he could see Selby's mummy and daddy. Mr Montgomery was hugging Mrs Montgomery, she looked like she'd been crying. Flan nodded determinedly, Selby was his best friend and if it really was goodbye forever then he should see him. He wanted to see him, his daddy cleared his throat as they reached them, "I'm here as an Auror, I need to talk to you about last night. And Flan would just like to say... hi to his friend, if that's alright with you."

"That's alright," Mr Montgomery agreed, his voice sounding thick as his wife nodded in approval, "He's sleeping now though."

"We'll just be over there, okay Flan?" his daddy said to him quietly, jerking his head to an empty bed a few feet away. Flan nodded once more as his daddy let go of his hand, directing him to the bed they stood beside.

Flan swallowed nervously as the adults moved away to the previously indicated space, leaving Flan alone with his friend. He moved closer to the bed, trying not to look shocked by his appearance. Selby looked worse than his mummy, the five year old's skin was ashen gray and bandages peeked out from under his hospital robes as well as on his cheek, wrapped around his head of brown hair. His breathing seemed... wrong as well, jerky and weak.

"How are you doing?" Flan asked quietly, not expecting an answer but it was easier to talk to sleeping people if you pretended they could. He was surprised to get an answer though.

"Fl- Flan?" Selby croaked out weakly, his eyes fluttering briefly open at him but struggled to stay open and quickly closed but he seemed to stay conscious, "Ar- Are you r- really h- here, Fl- Flan?"

"Course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Flan said, trying to sound strong then he felt and actually seemed to succeed whole tears seeped from the cracks of Selby's eyes.

"Cause I g- got b- bit by th- the werewolf, Gr- Greyback so I am one too, I'm a monster," Selby told him, sounding as if he was desperately trying not to cry and failing, "Werewolves are b- bad, I d- didn't think anybody would like me anymore."

"Well I don't care about that," Flan decided and took Selby's hand to show he wasn't afraid, Selby's eyes flickered open again briefly and he tried to smile through the tears flowing from his eyes, "You're my best friend and you'll always be my best friend, you're not bad just cause Greyback bit you and you're a werewolf. Some people are bad and some aren't and some werewolves are bad and some aren't, that's what I think. And you're good, Selby."

"Y- You really think so?" Selby wondered, his eyes streaming tears again as his lip quivered, "Cause I- I- I'm sc- scared th- that I'm going to die and I'm scared I'll g- go to h- hell c- cause Greyback turned me into a monster."

"Of course you're not going to go to hell," Flan told him firmly, "The only person who is going to go to hell is Greyback because he is bad for hurting you, you're good and I know that. Greyback can't turn you bad, being a werewolf doesn't make you bad."

"Right," Selby muttered, looking slightly at ease before blinking back more tears, "But I'm still sc- scared to die, I don't know what w-will happen. Even if I don't go to h-hell, what if it's still not nice there? What if I get lonely? I don't know a-anyone who is died. Wh-What if the dead people are mean to me? I don't want to die, Flan. And what- what if it hurts? Last night hurt worse th- then anything ever in my life and dying must hurt worse and-"

"You're not going to die," Flan lied before he could stop himself, seeing his friend getting worked up enough to start shaking in fear and squeezing his hand tightly.

"I'm not?" Selby wondered and Flan shook his head in confirmation, seeing the relief on Selby's face at his lie, "Ar- Are you sure? Cause I've never been hurt this bad before..."

"My Uncle Hogan is a Healer, rember? He told me that you're not going to die," Flan continued lying, feeling horrible since lying was bad but unable to stop seeing his friend looking more at ease, "You're going to get better he said, you're going to live until you're super ultra old, you won't die for so long time until you're ready."

"I- I'm glad," Selby smiled weakly and his eyes fluttered shut again, his voice getting quieter with every word, "I was so scared, Flan. I'm glad I won't die yet, I didn't get to go to Hogwarts yet to learn magic like my big sisters and I only just turned five. I was being silly, wasn't I? Five is too young to die. I hope I can still go now that I'm a werewolf but Dumbledore is nice they all say so I hope he doesn't mind- I hope my sisters won't mind either, or Mum and Dad... Where are Mum and Dad?"

"Over there," Flan provided, nodding to the talking adults stupidly as Selby's eyes were closed still. His friend seemed to just take his word for it though.

"T- Tell them I'm just going to take a little nap, c- could you, Flan? I- I'm very tired..." Selby mumbled sleepily before his head lolled and Flan felt the grip on his hand go limp.

"Selby?" Flan promoted fearfully as the boy went quiet, in fact he didn't seem to be moving anymore, "Selby? Selby?!"

"Flan, get out of the way!" Uncle Hogan snapped as he rushed back over, pushing him out of the way and taking out his wand that he started waving over Selby's still unmoving body and calling for help.

"Flan," his daddy said and he felt his daddy put his arm around him, trying to guide him away but Flan didn't move, he couldn't take his eyes off Selby as other Healers came over to help. After a few minutes though, they seemed to give up and Uncle Hogan turned to Selby's parents.

"I'm sorry," Uncle Hogan told them quietly, Mrs Montgomery shrieked and her husband hugged her tight as she started crying, "He's gone, there's nothing more we can do."

"Come on, Flan, I can finish talking to them later," his daddy urged and Flan finally allowed himself to be led away, his spindly little legs feeling shaky beneath him as his young mind tried to wrap itself around what had just happened, "You okay, Flan? Do you... wanna... go get... ice cream?"

"Selby died, didn't he?" Flan asked in a whisper, trying very hard not to cry and saw his daddy's expression soften as he nodded, "I can't believe he died."

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Flan," his daddy said quietly while Flan's legs decided they couldn't go on anymore.

"I don't understand, I don't know why-" Flan choked on a sob, his daddy scooped him up and sat him down on an empty hospital bed while also sitting beside him.

"There's something important you have to understand about life Flan," his daddy said seriously and Flan looked at him tearfully, sensing it was important, "It's not fair. Good things can happen to bad people and bad things can happen to good people, there's no reason for it. That's just how it is, we have to make our own order and our own justice. That's why I'm an Auror, I put away the bad people so they can't hurt anyone else because life isn't going to."

"That sucks," Flan sniffed unhappily and his daddy gave a wry smile as he put his arm around him comfortingly.

"That's life, Flan, welcome to the real world," his daddy told him and hugged him tighter as he hung his head, "I know it sucks but there's good things in life too, I mean didn't you have fun with Selby? Playing with him and talking to him."

"Yeah, but now he's dead," Flan pointed out, struggling to speak through the lump in his throat as he thought of Selby being gone forever.

"Everyone dies eventually, Flan, you can't choose how long but what you can control is what matters most. And what matters is what you do with your life and who you have in your life, you got to be friends with him and even death can't take that away from you."

"I told a lie to him," Flan admitted tearfully, "He was scared to die and I told him he was going to be okay, the last that I ever said was a lie. I'm a bad friend."

"Sometimes - in very rare times - its okay to lie to make people feel better," his daddy told him and Flan was shocked into halting his tears, "He got to die with his friend by his side, feeling hopeful not hurt or scared. I don't think that's such a bad thing, do you?"

"No," Flan sniffed, deciding he didn't want to know if this was one of those good times to lie and his daddy was just trying to make him feel better, "I'm still going to miss him a lot though."

"I know, Flan," his daddy said quietly and hugged him as Flan cried into shoulder, he could only hope it would be a very long time before his mummy or daddy died too, "We always do."