LASTING LOVE:
Rory is back at home after a year's absence. After a chance meeting with a familiar friend, Rory's future is as uncertain as it ever has been.
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls does not belong to me. I only write off of it.
ELEVEN: Not Prepared
Lorelai didn't bother talking to Rory about the conversation she had with Dean the other day. She figured that her daughter already had enough on her mind. Plus, they had decided that Dean was a taboo topic until Rory had decided how to handle the situation. At the same time, Rory didn't want to bother informing her mother about Luke's plans to propose to her. She knew it wasn't her place, as Luke's prospective stepdaughter, to ruin the surprise for Lorelai. Yet at the same time, being Lorelai's daughter and best friend, she couldn't help but shake the feeling that it would be the right thing to do. But whatever internal conflictions the two felt, they both forgot them in preparation for what was sure to be one of the most emotionally exhausting evenings of their lives – Friday night dinner.
By now, they were trying to put the upcoming evening into perspective by suggesting some of the worst Friday night dinners they'd had over the years.
"What about the time that you told Grandma that you and Max were getting married and she didn't care?" Rory suggested, as she tried on one of her mom's blouses.
"What about the one where Dean and your grandpa got into an argument?" Lorelai said as she applied mascara.
"What about when Grandma and Grandpa tried setting Dad up with the therapist that you ended up talking to all night long?"
"Yeah, well how about when you invited Jess and he acted like a first class jerk to your grandma?"
Rory sighed miserably. "Why do all of mine involve boyfriends?"
"Tonight's no exception either, hon."
Rory looked at herself in the mirror. "What am I going to tell them? They're going to ask me all about the campaign trail and they're going to ask me all these questions about where I'm going next and what am I going to be able to say? All I can tell them is that I'm pregnant and as soon as I say that, I'll have shattered all of their dreams and expectations. Tonight, I'm the Dream Killer."
"Kickass superhero name, I won't lie," Lorelai offered humorously. "But really, there's not much else you can say. You're going to have to be straightforward with them – there's no other way to swing around this, kid."
"Do you think they'll understand?"
"The Gilmores? Of course not. I wouldn't be surprised if they kicked us out of the mansion as soon as they found out. Might as well just tell them as soon as we get through the door so that we don't have to go through the entire evening. Hey, there's an idea…"
"I don't want to make them hate me," Rory said, sounding almost like a child.
Lorelai sighed. "They can't hate you. They'll never be able to hate you. You're their Rory. You're theirs. And whatever little blunders you have in life, they'll always have something in mind for you."
"But this isn't a little blunder," Rory said, pointing to her stomach. "This is permanent."
"And it'll work out for you, honey. Being a mother isn't going to stop you from becoming anything."
Rory took one more look in the mirror and tried picturing the reflection she saw just a couple months ago, and the reflection she would be seeing in the future.
"I hope not."
"Rory Gilmore!" Richard beamed and gave Rory a hearty hug as soon as they stepped into the foyer.
"Welcome back, Rory! We're so thrilled!" Emily exclaimed from the side, observing her granddaughter in admiration.
"Congratulations on your return, Ms. Gilmore," whispered their Norwegian maid as she collected their coats.
Rory was all smiles once she had hugged everyone, even the jostled maid. As much as she had been dreading this night, she couldn't deny that she missed her grandparents. They were such a big part of her life. Even Lorelai couldn't suppress a smile as she saw the light that illuminated her daughter's face. For a brief, hopeful moment, she thought that tonight might even be okay.
"Come, come, into the dining room everyone!" Emily said excitedly. "Let's head straight to dinner so Rory can tell us everything that's happened!"
Lorelai was confused. "What about the drink, Mom?"
"One of the maids got horridly drunk last week and drank the contents of the entire drink cart," Emily said irritably. "They pumped her stomach and we fired her. Plus, Haldis got excited when I finally let her cook pot roast for tonight that she prepared the meal an entire hour ahead of time."
"Haldis?" Rory asked.
"The maid," Richard explained. "The agency sent her directly to us after we expressed interest in a good cook who knew how to prepare fish. She makes a mean pickled herring."
Lorelai and Rory simply nodded as they were ushered into the dining room, which already smelled of excellent pot roast. The familiar place setting awaited them, with four glasses of wine set at each seat and a plate of leafy greens placed beside them. Everyone sat down in their familiar, designated places and they were in full Friday night dinner mode.
"So…" Richard said, obviously excited to get to the bulk of the evening. "Rory! Tell us everything!"
"Everything," Emily added eagerly. "It's been such a bore around the house for the past year and we've hardly had any excitement in our lives that we need to hear it straight from you. How's the world these days?" Is it everything you wanted it to be?"
Rory cleared her throat. "It wasn't the world, you guys – it was just America. And it was beautiful out there. I've gone through so many states that I wouldn't mind living in and I've seen so many places that I definitely want to go back to."
"Then why come back?" Richard asked.
"Richard!" Emily said warningly. "You might give the girl the impression you don't want her back here! Trust me, Rory, that's not what your grandfather meant."
"Of course it's not what I meant!" Richard said defensively. "What I simply meant, Rory, was that it seems you cut your traipse across the nation short. There's still so much left out there that you could have hardly covered in the span of a year, especially when you were as busy as you were dealing with the Obama campaign. I would have expected you would have had at least another year in you."
Rory nodded humbly. "I think America got to be too big for me in just one year, especially right after college. I'm definitely going to go back out there; I'm not done yet. But right now, I think I just need a break, a pretty long break. I need to take some time to consider what I want in life."
"What you want in life?" Emily asked curiously. "Of course you know what you want in life already! You're going to be a journalist! You're going to write and write and write!"
Lorelai took a large sip of her wine, sympathetic to Rory's inability to do so as well. "Mom, Rory just needs to rest. She's been going nonstop ever since kindergarten."
Emily shook her head. "No, you can't possibly slow down, Rory. You already took that break from Yale and you can't afford to lose momentum again. From everyone I've talked to, college graduates need to get their feet wet immediately. If they don't, then they'll never find that spark of inspiration that they need, and Rory, you've got so much potential!"
Rory laughed nervously. "I've gone on a presidential campaign trail. I think that's a lot of momentum already to steer me in the right direction."
"Rory's doing well for herself right now, Mom."
As much as Emily wanted to say more, Richard decided to step in. "Well, what do you plan on doing right now, then?"
Rory looked at her mom nervously, and Lorelai just gave her a sympathetic glance. Thankfully, Haldis came in with plates of pot roast, mashed potatoes, and steamed vegetables for everyone at the table. But as soon as the salad had been traded for the steaming plates of real food, the inevitable conversation restarted itself.
"Well, Rory?" Richard pressed again.
"Mm?" Rory murmured with pot roast in her mouth.
"What do you see yourself doing now, or in the next couple of months?"
Rory swallowed hard. "Well, I was actually planning on just staying with Mom for the next couple of months. But I probably won't start looking for a job until a couple more months or so…"
"Why the delay?" Emily pushed. "If you need a stepping stone of sorts, you'll always have the DAR girls – they'll want to help you. If you want to write for the newsletter during your break so that you'll actually do some writing, then you're more than welcome to do so. In fact, Gloria Scott informed me of an opening on the writing staff just recently! I should give her a call for you."
Rory shook her head respectfully. "It's alright, Grandma. If I'm going to do any sort of writing from here on in, then I want it to be serious writing, nothing fuller…with all due respect to the DAR newsletter, of course. And as much as I love writing, I think a break would be good right now."
Lorelai could sense that Rory was trying to delay the news by overemphasizing her need for a break without giving a reason for it. Richard was more respectful of Rory, not wanting to pry into her business or her reasoning for anything. But Emily was a different story.
"A break from what, exactly? You have everything going for you right now, Rory, so it would almost be like throwing away everything you've worked for in the past years."
Rory shuffled from side to side uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, Grandma…there's something I've actually been meaning to bring up to you. You and Grandpa."
"Oh?"Richard sat up in his seat, thankful to be part of the conversation again.
"What do you need to tell us?" Emily inquired, glancing sideways at Lorelai as though she expected her to keep her mouth shut.
"I'm not quite sure how to say any of this, to be honest," Rory said softly. "I'm still trying to sort through things by myself right now and everything is still up in the air, which is part of the reason I need a break. So it would be really appreciated, really appreciated, if you didn't say anything immediately. And it would be even more appreciated if you didn't necessarily question things right away…at least not until I have everything figured out myself."
Emily and Richard looked worried.
"This kind of talk scares us, Rory," Emily said. "What is it?"
Rory sighed deeply. "You have to keep in mind that this isn't the reason I came back home. Trust me; I didn't sacrifice my job for anything. I left because I wanted to and anything else, like what I'm about to tell you, didn't happen until after I came back home."
Emily and Richard exchanged looks once more.
"Rory, go on, please," Richard urged.
Rory looked at her mom one last time before stepping off the edge of the cliff. When all Lorelai could offer was a slight nod of the head, she took a deep breath and prepared herself for the most important and life changing announcement she would ever give her grandparents.
"Grandma…Grandpa…I'm going to have a baby."
An immediate silence descended on the room. Because of Rory's initial warning, no one had anything to say. Lorelai almost closed her eyes as an immediate response to avoid having to deal with the undoubtedly shocked and horrified looks on Emily and Richard Gilmores' faces. Instead, she finished her glass of wine in a single drink while Emily and Richard sat up straight in their chairs. Their eyes and mouths bulged and widened in surprise as Rory sat in immediate regret following her announcement. And once a few moments passed, they all stared remorsefully at their empty plates, all in similar understanding that whether she had told them this night, the next, or whenever else, it would never be told at the right time.
Richard was the first one to do anything. He stood up and stared directly at Rory, avoiding Lorelai and Emily.
"I apologize, but I've lost my appetite. I'll be in the office." And with that he turned on his heel and left.
Rory stood up next, obviously aware that dessert wouldn't be happening any time soon.
"I'm sorry, but I need some air. I'll be outside"
She stood there for a couple moments, waiting for Emily's objection. But it never came, so she left just as her grandfather left.
As soon as she heard the main door close, Emily turned sharply to Lorelai, her expression a combination of immense sadness as well as resentfulness.
"What happened to that girl, Lorelai? What did you let her do?"
Lorelai knew almost at once that Emily's first response would be to blame her.
"I did nothing, Mom. She told me after she got home that she was pregnant. She found out in Stars Hollow! I didn't do anything. She was gone for a year, if you remember!" She winced a bit at how detached she was making herself out to be.
"You're her mother, Lorelai! Who gives a damn if she's on a bus somewhere in the middle of the country? The point is things happen out there and you didn't prepare her for any of this!"
"Didn't prepare her?" Lorelai asked incredulously. "I've spent the past twenty-three years preparing Rory for everything, so don't tell me that she wasn't prepared. I never once hid anything from her. She left home knowing everything that I could have possibly offered her!"
"Then perhaps you just didn't have enough to offer," Emily seethed. "Just look at what's happened now."
Lorelai fought back tears; moments like this always got her emotional.
"If I didn't have enough to offer her as a mother, then maybe it's because you didn't have enough to offer me as a mother either." She stood up to leave.
"Maybe I could have offered more if you had just done your job and been my daughter!" Emily was furious.
"It wasn't a job," Lorelai reminded her. "It was a decision made for me." She turned to leave.
"Don't be such a drama queen!" Emily called after her, leaving the dinner table as well. "If you didn't overreact to everything, then maybe this family wouldn't be so broken!"
Lorelai turned to face her mother straight in the face, tears already building at the corners of her eyes. "This family was already broken to begin with! And now I'm leaving with the family that I helped save."
She opened the door, surprising Rory outside, who was sitting against a fence in the cool air.
"Are we leaving?" Rory asked innocently, seeing the furious looks on her mother and grandmother's faces.
Lorelai simply nodded and nearly tore the car door open, suggesting that Rory follow suit. And as they pulled out of the driveway, Rory gave her grandmother, who was standing sullenly in the doorway, the most apologetic look she could offer.
AN: I can't believe it, but it's been basically five months since I updated. In between that time, my computer had to be rebooted/reset, so I lost everything that I had for Lasting Love. I got swamped with other work, so I never had the opportunity to restart writing, but that time has now manifested itself into this chapter. Hopefully all of you who loved it five months ago are still reading it and still love it!
