The Seventh Rehearsal

Sharpay: Guys, I have something to tell you.

Ilana: What is it Sharp?

Sharpay: I'm pregnant. With Joe's baby.

Ilana: Omj! So am I!

Troy: I am too!

Taylor: I'm pregnant with Chad's babies.

Chad: I am too!

Kelsi: I had an abortion...

Ryan: No you didn't. I was with you when you got pregnant!

Kelsi: No shit, you're the father.

Zac: I'm pregnant with Kevin's baby.

Kevin: I'm not sexually pier anymore! (sobs into a Poptart)

Jason: Ooh! Poptarts! (takes a bite) Mmm, frosted Kevin flavor.

Joe: Jason, are you having...food cravings?

Jason: Yes, I'm pregnant with Nick's baby for goodness sakes! I was craving Kevin Poptarts!

Martha: Poor Kevin, I didn't even get to ride Space Mountain with him.

Ms. Darbus: I was forced to go on Space Mountain with him. That's how I got pregnant!

Gabriella: Kevin raped you on a roller coaster?!?!?!?

Joe: Like, LOL!

Miley: Nick would be It's a Small World, because it describes him.

Frieda: So what? He still is amazing in...

Joe: Don't say it.

Frieda: Chair.

Ilana: Joe would be Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. (winks at Joe)

Jason: (looks nauseous) I am soooooooooooooooo not hungry anymore.

Troy: I'm an athlete.

Jason: I'm a vampire. (bites Troy)

Troy: OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coach Bolton: It's okay honey, (pats Troy's butt)

Gabriella: SEXUAL HARASSMENT! SOCIAL SERVICES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelsi: Jason, you should be in Twilight!

Jason: Edward is my homie.

Buffy: A VAMPIRE! I'M GOING TO SLAY YOU!

Nick: OMG! BUFFY!

Martha: A buffet? Where? (starts eating Buffy)

Buffy: NO! I ALREADY GOT RESURRECTED ONCE!

Joe: Okay...I think we need to do Menstrual Flow again. Let's take it from the top!

Hayley: I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top!

Ryan: (back in his emo outfit) MISERY BUSINESS!!!!!!!! My fave song.

Ms. Darbus: Is that an Ashley Tisdale song?

Coach Bolton: No...it's Paramore...

Ms. Darbus: Paramore means lover!

Sharpay: Actually, that's a paramour...

Gabriella: Hayley, i live for your orange hair. I'm such a Parawhore!

Hayley: Once a whore, you're nothing more. I'm sorry that will never change.

Gabriella: Hey! I'm trying to do better! It's stupid role models like Vanessa Hudgens who make me feel like a slut because I post porn on the Internet!

Vanessa: Facebook and Myspace are stupid.

Zac: Oh no, she's back! Hide me! (hides in Kelsi's gallbladder)

Vanessa: Chillax everyone! I'm only here to give you my Neutrogena vibrator bubble thing...

Zeke: Let me use it! (puts the vibrator on his armpit) MY PORES FEEL SO OPEN!

Vanessa: (giggles)

Zeke: Wait, why do my armpits feel weird?

Troy: You have a bubble vibration thing in it...

Zeke: Oh right! Wait, why is the vibrator all germy? (looks at his armpit) Oh my fricking god I have armpit Herpes!

Chad: Vanessa, did you by chance use the vibrating bubble scrubber thing?

Vanessa: (interrupted from making out with the Facebook Mini-feed) Maybe...

Gabriella: HEY! STAY OFF MY MAN! (punches Vanessa)

Facebook Mini-feed: Vanessa and Gabriella added the Cat Fight application.

Gabriella: (kills Vanessa by repeatedly hitting her with her sex tape) They will teach you to not to be a porn star!

Facebook Mini-feed: Gabriella superpoked Vanessa! Gabriella killed Vanessa.

Joe: This calls for a group hug!

Troy: I'm not a Jonas Brother fan. Why would I want to hug you?

Nick: HUGS ARE OVERRATED, JUST FYI!

Ms. Darbus: Hugs are overrated? Who wrote those lyrics?!?!?!?!

Martha: OMGZ, you HATE the jobros???

Troy: Uhh... yeah...

Martha: But dude, they are like... SOOOO HOTTT!!!!

Troy: Hmm...

Martha: Come on, you have to agree with me that the JoBros are extremely HOTTT.

Troy: Wellll... I guess they are. Shhh!!! Don't tell anyone. I'm in love with Nick Jonas!

Martha: OMG me too!!!

Troy: OMG!! SISTERR!!! (air hugs Martha)

Martha: (air hugs Troy)

Joe: Omj, I think I'm pregnant.

Zeke: Am I the only one who isn't pregnant?

Gabriella: I'm not! (has two second sex with Ryan) Now I am.

Zeke: Kelsi, didn't you say something about contortion?

Kelsi: I DID get an abortion, but Ryan got me preggers again.

Sharpay: Ryan, stop getting people pregnant! You're turning into me!

Kevin: We might just have to a La Maz class instead of rehearsals...

Taylor: YEAH! Can other pregnant people come?

Kevin: Sure! It'll be even more fantasalistic!

Taylor: Come on in everyone! (Juno, Nicole Richie, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Alba, and Jamie Lynn Spears come in)

Christina: Wait, why am I here? I already had my baby.

Nicole: Let's go get knocked up by our paramours again! (Nicole and Christina turn into Heroin)

Joe: I FEEL LIKE A HEROOOOOOOO! AND YOU ARE MY HERRRRRRRROINE.

Nick: Wrong heroine, Joe.

Joe: AT LEAST I HAVE BARNEY!

Ms. Darbus: Who's Barney?

Chad: Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination! When he's tall he's what we call a dinosaur sensation! Barney teaches lots of things like how to play pretend! A-B-C's and 1-2-3's and how to be a friend! Barney comes to play with us. Whenever we may need him. Barney can be your friend too. If you just make believe him!

Taylor: Those are perverted lyrics.

Juno: Hellz yeah.

Jessica Alba: Hi, I'm Jessica Alba!

Jonas Brothers: Hi, we're the Jonas Brothers, and you're pregnant!

Nick: Isn't your boyfriend's name Cash?

Joe: I don't care!

Jessica Alba: Actually, it's Credit Card.

Kevin: OKAY! PREGNANT PEOPLE! Breath in, and out.

Nick: Why don't you take a breath.

Joe: Just take, a breath!!!

Kevin: You two are disrupting my class! Why can't you be more like Frankie?

Frankie: (turns pregnant, and is making out with Jessica Alba)

Jessica Alba: No wonder they call you Bonus Jonas!

Kevin: BREATH IN AND OUT!

Juno: I just had my baby. I need to give it to Vanessa.

Vanessa: (comes back to life) OKAY! OOH! A BABY! I'll think I'll name is Condom!

Juno: Yeah, bye. (poofs)

Jamie Lynn: I'm supposed to go get my sister out of rehab...toodles!

Kevin: Ugh. La Maz, is OVER!

Jessica: NO! KEVIN! DON'T LEAVE I HAVE COOKIES! You don't know how I feel right now!

Joe: Sometimes I feel like a Catcher in the Rye.

Ms. Darbus: You don't know what that feels like, it's a book!

Joe: Maybe, but I know what this will feel like! (karate chops Ms. Darbus)

Nick: And that feeling is SO not fantasalistic.

A/n: Sorry I haven't updated in 425425235234 weeks. I've just been really busy with stuff. I obviously had enough time to right this though! LOL. I want to thank Silly Lilly for the Troy/Martha conversation. Please review!