The Seventh Rehearsal
Sharpay: Guys, I have something to tell you.
Ilana: What is it Sharp?
Sharpay: I'm pregnant. With Joe's baby.
Ilana: Omj! So am I!
Troy: I am too!
Taylor: I'm pregnant with Chad's babies.
Chad: I am too!
Kelsi: I had an abortion...
Ryan: No you didn't. I was with you when you got pregnant!
Kelsi: No shit, you're the father.
Zac: I'm pregnant with Kevin's baby.
Kevin: I'm not sexually pier anymore! (sobs into a Poptart)
Jason: Ooh! Poptarts! (takes a bite) Mmm, frosted Kevin flavor.
Joe: Jason, are you having...food cravings?
Jason: Yes, I'm pregnant with Nick's baby for goodness sakes! I was craving Kevin Poptarts!
Martha: Poor Kevin, I didn't even get to ride Space Mountain with him.
Ms. Darbus: I was forced to go on Space Mountain with him. That's how I got pregnant!
Gabriella: Kevin raped you on a roller coaster?!?!?!?
Joe: Like, LOL!
Miley: Nick would be It's a Small World, because it describes him.
Frieda: So what? He still is amazing in...
Joe: Don't say it.
Frieda: Chair.
Ilana: Joe would be Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. (winks at Joe)
Jason: (looks nauseous) I am soooooooooooooooo not hungry anymore.
Troy: I'm an athlete.
Jason: I'm a vampire. (bites Troy)
Troy: OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coach Bolton: It's okay honey, (pats Troy's butt)
Gabriella: SEXUAL HARASSMENT! SOCIAL SERVICES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelsi: Jason, you should be in Twilight!
Jason: Edward is my homie.
Buffy: A VAMPIRE! I'M GOING TO SLAY YOU!
Nick: OMG! BUFFY!
Martha: A buffet? Where? (starts eating Buffy)
Buffy: NO! I ALREADY GOT RESURRECTED ONCE!
Joe: Okay...I think we need to do Menstrual Flow again. Let's take it from the top!
Hayley: I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top!
Ryan: (back in his emo outfit) MISERY BUSINESS!!!!!!!! My fave song.
Ms. Darbus: Is that an Ashley Tisdale song?
Coach Bolton: No...it's Paramore...
Ms. Darbus: Paramore means lover!
Sharpay: Actually, that's a paramour...
Gabriella: Hayley, i live for your orange hair. I'm such a Parawhore!
Hayley: Once a whore, you're nothing more. I'm sorry that will never change.
Gabriella: Hey! I'm trying to do better! It's stupid role models like Vanessa Hudgens who make me feel like a slut because I post porn on the Internet!
Vanessa: Facebook and Myspace are stupid.
Zac: Oh no, she's back! Hide me! (hides in Kelsi's gallbladder)
Vanessa: Chillax everyone! I'm only here to give you my Neutrogena vibrator bubble thing...
Zeke: Let me use it! (puts the vibrator on his armpit) MY PORES FEEL SO OPEN!
Vanessa: (giggles)
Zeke: Wait, why do my armpits feel weird?
Troy: You have a bubble vibration thing in it...
Zeke: Oh right! Wait, why is the vibrator all germy? (looks at his armpit) Oh my fricking god I have armpit Herpes!
Chad: Vanessa, did you by chance use the vibrating bubble scrubber thing?
Vanessa: (interrupted from making out with the Facebook Mini-feed) Maybe...
Gabriella: HEY! STAY OFF MY MAN! (punches Vanessa)
Facebook Mini-feed: Vanessa and Gabriella added the Cat Fight application.
Gabriella: (kills Vanessa by repeatedly hitting her with her sex tape) They will teach you to not to be a porn star!
Facebook Mini-feed: Gabriella superpoked Vanessa! Gabriella killed Vanessa.
Joe: This calls for a group hug!
Troy: I'm not a Jonas Brother fan. Why would I want to hug you?
Nick: HUGS ARE OVERRATED, JUST FYI!
Ms. Darbus: Hugs are overrated? Who wrote those lyrics?!?!?!?!
Martha: OMGZ, you HATE the jobros???
Troy: Uhh... yeah...
Martha: But dude, they are like... SOOOO HOTTT!!!!
Troy: Hmm...
Martha: Come on, you have to agree with me that the JoBros are extremely HOTTT.
Troy: Wellll... I guess they are. Shhh!!! Don't tell anyone. I'm in love with Nick Jonas!
Martha: OMG me too!!!
Troy: OMG!! SISTERR!!! (air hugs Martha)
Martha: (air hugs Troy)
Joe: Omj, I think I'm pregnant.
Zeke: Am I the only one who isn't pregnant?
Gabriella: I'm not! (has two second sex with Ryan) Now I am.
Zeke: Kelsi, didn't you say something about contortion?
Kelsi: I DID get an abortion, but Ryan got me preggers again.
Sharpay: Ryan, stop getting people pregnant! You're turning into me!
Kevin: We might just have to a La Maz class instead of rehearsals...
Taylor: YEAH! Can other pregnant people come?
Kevin: Sure! It'll be even more fantasalistic!
Taylor: Come on in everyone! (Juno, Nicole Richie, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Alba, and Jamie Lynn Spears come in)
Christina: Wait, why am I here? I already had my baby.
Nicole: Let's go get knocked up by our paramours again! (Nicole and Christina turn into Heroin)
Joe: I FEEL LIKE A HEROOOOOOOO! AND YOU ARE MY HERRRRRRRROINE.
Nick: Wrong heroine, Joe.
Joe: AT LEAST I HAVE BARNEY!
Ms. Darbus: Who's Barney?
Chad: Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination! When he's tall he's what we call a dinosaur sensation! Barney teaches lots of things like how to play pretend! A-B-C's and 1-2-3's and how to be a friend! Barney comes to play with us. Whenever we may need him. Barney can be your friend too. If you just make believe him!
Taylor: Those are perverted lyrics.
Juno: Hellz yeah.
Jessica Alba: Hi, I'm Jessica Alba!
Jonas Brothers: Hi, we're the Jonas Brothers, and you're pregnant!
Nick: Isn't your boyfriend's name Cash?
Joe: I don't care!
Jessica Alba: Actually, it's Credit Card.
Kevin: OKAY! PREGNANT PEOPLE! Breath in, and out.
Nick: Why don't you take a breath.
Joe: Just take, a breath!!!
Kevin: You two are disrupting my class! Why can't you be more like Frankie?
Frankie: (turns pregnant, and is making out with Jessica Alba)
Jessica Alba: No wonder they call you Bonus Jonas!
Kevin: BREATH IN AND OUT!
Juno: I just had my baby. I need to give it to Vanessa.
Vanessa: (comes back to life) OKAY! OOH! A BABY! I'll think I'll name is Condom!
Juno: Yeah, bye. (poofs)
Jamie Lynn: I'm supposed to go get my sister out of rehab...toodles!
Kevin: Ugh. La Maz, is OVER!
Jessica: NO! KEVIN! DON'T LEAVE I HAVE COOKIES! You don't know how I feel right now!
Joe: Sometimes I feel like a Catcher in the Rye.
Ms. Darbus: You don't know what that feels like, it's a book!
Joe: Maybe, but I know what this will feel like! (karate chops Ms. Darbus)
Nick: And that feeling is SO not fantasalistic.
A/n: Sorry I haven't updated in 425425235234 weeks. I've just been really busy with stuff. I obviously had enough time to right this though! LOL. I want to thank Silly Lilly for the Troy/Martha conversation. Please review!
