A.N - Ok, bear with me here, please guys? It just came into my head as I wrote last chapter, and I wanted to roll with it. Just to kind of make things a bit different.

There is a method to my madness though. xD


Day Forty

It was here.

The day was here that I was allowed to kiss Susannah. But she wasn't here for me to be able to kiss her.

My stupid proposal last night had scared her away and left me not knowing if we were even still in a relationship.

I had been woken up this morning by the sharp, shrill ringing of my cell phone before my sister had screamed down said cell phone, causing my head to pound.

"Hello?" I had answered the phone blearily.

"Jesse, what on earth did you think you were doing?" Marta shouted, snapping me into full consciousness and jumping awake in my bed.

"What?" I asked concerned. "What did I do?"

"You proposed to Suze!"

My heart instantly dropped.

"Oh, that."

"Yes," she was exasperated, I could tell. "That. What did you think I was on about?"

I opened my mouth to answer.

"You know what?" She cut me off. "Never mind. I've been up all night comforting my best friend who is torn with the idea of marrying you or not."

"And what about me, Marta?" I insisted. "Don't you think I need 'comforting'? I bore me heart to the girl I love and was rejected. How did you think that made me feel?"

"Oh."

I shut my eyes and fell back down in my bed.

"Yeah," I repeated. "Oh."

After we hung up, I lay in the bed feeling sorry for myself. It was Sunday, which meant I had a family dinner to go to, no doubt filled with questions to do with the absence of Susannah.

Sighing, I picked up the ring box once again, hating it for causing me this pain and throwing it across the room angrily.

There was a timid knock on my door.

I stood up to answer it, not bothering with pulling a shirt over my naked chest. I was happy enough in the sweat pants I'd slept in.

Only, when I opened the door, I was wishing I had bothered with the shirt after all.

"Susannah!" I gasped, surprised, quickly glancing around to look for something to pull on quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you." Her voice was quiet and it scared me – she'd never spoken in that way to me before.

"I'm just going to go put something on …"

I trailed off, unsure of myself as I turned my back to her to raid my closet.

"Jesse, wait."

Her small, dainty hand closed around my wrist and the touch sent a jolt through me.

"Yeah?" I spoke slowly and cautiously, turning back around to face her.

"I just …"

"Yeah?" My voice was more hopeful this time as I took a step closer to her, and Susannah dropped her head back to look up at me.

My response was her hands sliding over my chest and locking behind my neck, playing with the curls of my hair that rested there. I locked my hands around her waist in retaliation as I leaned towards her, absorbing the moment.

My lips were about to touch hers for the first time in six weeks.

Susannah's eyes fluttered shut as her lips parted slightly and I smiled as I covered her lips with my own and kissed her. Her lips were soft as mine slid over them, the kiss exceeding everything I remembered as we spent the time in the open doorway, arms around each other.

Hope flared in my chest, as I hardly dared believe that she was here. My querida was in my arms once again. I could almost believe that last night hadn't happened.

That the past forty days hadn't happened.

But they had. And that was all too evident when we broke apart for air and tears were streaming down Susannah's face.

"Susannah?" I asked worriedly. "Querida?"

"Don't –" She broke off on a sob. "Call me that. Please, Jesse?"

Silently, I looked at her.

"Jesse?" She asked a moment later. "Jesse, please say something."

"Susannah," I spoke slowly again, barely able to comprehend what was happening. "Was that … goodbye?"

The fact that she didn't answer said it all.

I wrenched my arms from around her waist and took a step away from my apparently soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.

"Jesse," she shut the door quietly and walked towards me. "Listen, please. Try to understand … we can't stay together."

"But, querida," at her look, I corrected myself. "Susannah, we can. This, between us, doesn't have to be lost. I made a mistake, sure, I shouldn't have asked you to marry me, but –"

"No, Jesse." She spoke firmly. "We can't stay together. Do you have any idea how hard it would be? Us being together with me knowing that you want more one day and me not knowing if I can give it to you?"

"I don't need anything more, Susannah," I stressed. "I can be happy with what we have."

"But I can't."

Her tears, which had stopped, came back again, twice as strong as before.

"I'm sorry Jesse," she choked out through her sobs. "I'm so sorry."

Sighing, I sat next to her and held her to my chest, stroking her hair as she cried. I'd never been one to let a girl cry.

And, as her tears began to soak through my shirt, I couldn't help but let tears of my own spill over, knowing, unbelievably, that this was the end.


One Week Later

I'd finally gotten round to taking back the ring. I'd ignored it the past seven days, instead focusing on my end of year exams and the break down of my relationship as a result of that box that I hadn't wanted to even look at it.

But I knew I couldn't put it off anymore, and it had to be taken back.

The embarrassment of having to admit a rejected proposal to the jeweller was evident in the redness of my cheeks.

I pushed the blue box towards the cashier, muttering a half hearted "I'd like to return this, please," as I did so.

The cashier looked at me knowingly, but said nothing, thankfully.

He inspected the box carefully, checking, I'm sure, to see if it was in a good enough condition to be returned. When I'd thrown it angrily across the room, nothing had been done to damage it. I'd checked.

I sighed as he flipped the ring box open, not wanting to see the object that had torn Susannah and I apart.

"Um, excuse me, sir?" The cashier was hesitant in speaking. "This box is empty."

Raising an eyebrow, I took the box back from him and looked inside. It was empty, as he'd said.

Surprisingly, I felt a smile itch at the corner of my lips.

"Sorry," I muttered. "My mistake."

The cashier nodded in acceptance and I left the shop, slipping the box back into my pocket and smiling openly as I did so.

Susannah had kept the ring.