Once again I was satisfied with the reviews, so here I come. There will be some drama here, I hope you guys enjoy it.
EPOV
Moonlight lit up Bella's face as she slept. This was the only time she was peaceful, when she was sleeping.
Her lips were parted, chest rising and falling with each breath, hair fanned out across her pillow, and wrapped in her blanket tightly. I had to fight the urge to reach out and run my fingers across her cheek. I wondered what she was dreaming about and if she still dreamed about me, but I doubted that.
She stirred in her sleep, moving from her back to her side. The sound of her sighing was like music in my ears. Everything about Bella was perfect, no matter what, and one day she'd make a man very happy. I frowned at the idea for some reason. Her sent clung to everything in the room, it smelled like a mix between heaven and hell. The burn in my throat was ever present, the smell was almost intoxicating, but it was a scent I would inhale all day if I could.
I couldn't help but move closer to her. Her eyes moved lazily behind her eyelids as she was dreaming.
Slowly the sun rose behind me. I knew she would wake up soon, the light would wake her up because after 18 hours the medicine should have left her system.
It was 9 in the morning when she finally started waking up. I knew Esme was coming up to check on her when she was fully awake and that Bella's "lawyer" Peter was coming. When I finally snuck out of Bella's room it was to go hunting so I could be here when she talked to him.
I hunted quickly knowing Peter would be there at 12. Three deers, one bear, and 3 hours later I was back in the house. Esme, Carlisle, and myself sat in the living room while Peter and Bella used Carlisle's office to talk. Carlisle quickly informed me that Bella had taken her anti-depressants and her anti-anxiety pills before Peter came to make sure she could make it through the talk.
I could see Bella through Peter's thoughts. She was looking around the room anxiously, twisting her hands together roughly.
The conversation started off easy. Peter tried to get her comfortable while getting easy information and making her swear to tell the truth. After 30 minutes they finally go down to the issue at hand.
"So, Bella, what happened the night your foster father was killed?"
"I shot him" She said emotionlessly.
"I know that" Peter said softly. "But why, what happened? You said you were defending yourself, what were you defending yourself from?"
"He was trying to" Bella stopped and swallowed loudly. "He was trying to rape me"
"How do you know that?"
"What the fuck do you mean how do I know that?" Bella yelled at him.
"If this goes to trial the prosecutors are going to try to make you look like a liar, they are going to try to make it seem like you over reacted. We have to have all of our answers straight."
"He's been doing it for 3 years!" She screamed at him. "I knew! He came at me and he tore my shirt and called me a slut. I said he could keep doing it to me and he just laughed. I was scared and I was mad at I just started shooting at him, and then he was dead."
Tears filled Esme's eyes, Carlisle grabbed her, my body stiffened.
"If it had been going on for three years, why didn't you ever tell your case worker?"
"They wouldn't believe me"
"Why not?"
"Because I have a record"
"Your criminal history has nothing to do with it Bella" He said softly.
I could tell how upset he was over what Bella had just told him.
"No, I have a record in my foster care system"
"What do you mean?"
Bella shook her head and folded her arms.
"Bella, I told you, you have to answer my questions and you have to be truthful or you're going to end up in prison."
"I don't care, I'd rather be in prison than here" She said angrily.
"Why?" Peter asked in shock.
"Because it's all their fault" Bella lashed out. "This is all their fault for letting them take me!"
"What is there fault?"
"EVERYTHING" She jumped out of her seat and started pacing angrily.
"Elaborate"
Despite Bella's angry facade I could smell her tears.
"When they took me, they put me with a family. The family didn't like me because I was a 'crybaby' so I only stayed for a year. Then the next family said I was too much work because I was too sick, too small, and required too much. Then my next family" She started pacing faster and balling and unballing her fists. "They let me stay with them. The dad was very nice to me and the mom said she loved me. My new case manager said they were perfect for me. Then on my 11th birthday we had this huge party and everyone in the family sung and danced. The mom kissed me all day and the father danced with me all day. There were two little girls there too, twins, they make me cards and gave me candy and I was so happy"
Bella stopped and tears started falling from her eyes. She started talking faster halfway through her explanation and I knew it would just get worse. A human probably wouldn't have understood what she was saying after she started again.
"And I was excited because he said he had an extra special present for me when everyone fell asleep. It was real late at night when he came into my room. He was smiling really big and he was so excited that I got even more excited. I wasn't scared because I trusted him so much, just like how I trusted Esme and he broke it just like her! He slid into my bed and made me a woman even though I begged him not to. I was too scared to tell so it went on for a year. Then finally I had to go to the GYN because it was burning down their. Of course the GYN told my case worker the truth, that at the age of 12 I had an STD and had to be treated. It cleared up and I changed houses.
"EVERY house I went to after that was the same. Either the father or the son made their way into my bed. I would tell me case worker and he would change my house again. He said it was getting hard to find me a new house because my record was so big and Forks was so small.
"I was in Mr. and Mrs. Johnson's house for TWO WEEKS before Mr. Johnson slid into my bed and raped me. He was drunk and stupid and I got pregnant. Despite the circumstances I was happy. I was so happy. I would have a baby all for me, I would take care of him. But then I killed my baby. I was drinking and smoking so often with my friends that I had a miscarriage. I was a murderer. I AM a murderer. So I tried to kill myself and I couldn't even do that right because my friends found me!
"Finally they brought me to my last foster home. The man was a drunk and raped me after the first night. I was so drunk I didn't even realize what was happening. After that I made sure I either never showed up or I was too drunk or high to remember him sliding into my bed. But I would always feel it, I would know. I couldn't take it anymore"
Bella stopped talking and kept crying. I turned around and threw up all over the rug. The white rug turned bright red with blood. I kept throwing up, load after load until finally it stopped.
Carlisle was staring at me in horror, not understanding how it was possible for me to throw up without having eaten any human food. I knew Bella and Peter were still talking, but I couldn't hear them over the pounding in my head. I was dizzy and worried I would pass out, if that was even possible.
I did that. I sentenced her to that life because I was too weak to control myself. I destroyed everything she could have been, I destroyed HER! That's why she hates me and I can't even blame her. I could only blame myself. For a second the pounding in my head slowed, but only long enough for me to hear Bella answer some unknown question.
"No, I will never be able to have kids now"
Then the pounding was back. I have never hated myself as much as I did in that moment. I didn't deserve to be living, or whatever this was considered. Bella made me happy, but I didn't deserve to be happy. I probably made her miserable. Every time she sees me she probably thinks of how much I am to blame for everything that has happened to her.
I couldn't believe this. I just couldn't. Because of me Bella was raped who knows how many times for 7 years, she tried to kill herself, and now she can't even have kids. I was really and truly a monster.
Peter left after another hour with Bella, promising that there was no way she'd go to jail for this. When Bella came down the carpet was gone and Esme and Carlisle were talking amongst themselves. Esme was trying not to cry.
Bella's eyes were red, swollen, and void of any emotion. I stared at her unsure of what to do. Her empty eyes met mine and locked.
"I'm sorry"I finally said softly.
Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Esme and Carlisle stiffen, but they did nothing to indicate that they'd heard me. Bella tensed and pain shot through her eyes, she winced.
"You should be" She finally said, voice as dead as her eyes had been a second ago.
