This chapter was a little hard to write, just because I wasn't sure how to portray what exactly happened when...okay well you'll find out when you read. Just give me feedback; I hope it's satisfactory.

Enjoy and review.


Narrative

"I couldn't...I couldn't do that to..."

To Buffy.

To be honest, Willow didn't quite believe that the Buffy they loved was here anymore. The only piece of Buffy left was her physical appearance. The best part of Buffy, she thought, went with Faith when she died. Willow desperately hoped that now, with Faith back, it would bring Buffy back, too.

"Well. Goodnight, then."

"Faith..."

"Yea?" Faith knew what Willow was going to say. She wondered if she should fear it.

She didn't.

"Why did you hide it?"

"..."

"I feel kind of humiliated, Faith. Not even having a clue as to how bad-"

"Oh come on, Red. You saw how bad they were, how bad they still are!" She jumped up angrily.

"I worry every night that these will never go away, that it'll just always be a reminder of Hell so much that I'd vomit every single time someone touches me. You remember."

Willow did, indeed.


Flashback (2 weeks ago)

It took 2 hours hiding from the light of day (and electricity) in a dark corner, flinching violently whenever Willow made even the gentlest of moves.

Two hours for her to even be able to say a word without Faith hiding her face into the comfort of her knees.

"Faith." She crept a little closer. Faith's face was full of terror, and she shook like a broken soul.

It wasn't too far from the truth.

Willow sighed and decided to go get some food. It was near 2 AM and nobody was home, but she tip toed around, grabbing at the leftover ribs and heating up some pizza. The girl needed food. Faith looked more than emaciated. Her flesh sagged against the bones because of the lack of fat; she was a living skeleton with skin and hair. One that took a hell of a beating.

When she returned, she almost gagged at the stench. Something like disgust washed over her, watching the whimpering girl in the corner, just sitting in her own shit and urine. It was quickly replaced with an extreme sorrow that kicked at her gut. Goddess, what had happened to her? She held her tears as she laid the tray on her bed, leaving and returning with gloves, a plastic bag, and stain remover. She eased Faith up and sat the girl in her bathtub and told her gently to stay put. As if she could understand her.

Maybe she did.

Willow spent he next hour cleaning up the waste and 15 more minutes to clear the air in the room. She shut the doors but opened the bedroom windows and the turned on the fans, spraying some air freshener into the atmosphere as an added touch. Funny thing was, she could've used magic. It may have been faster. Easier. But sometimes you just had to do things on your own. It made her feel human sometimes. Assured her that she wouldn't fall into the darkness again. Like she had before. Being human somehow made her feel safe. She supposed that was the irony of it all.

She sighed as she took the tray back downstairs and threw it away, cleaning her hands with extreme thoroughness. She made some new food and took it upstairs. She hesitated before stepping into her bathroom. Did she want Faith eating in there? Or out here?

In there.

She walked in with a false smile. Faith seemed to shrink - if she could - smaller into herself in the very corner of the bathtub. Willow wondered briefly what it was with terrified creatures and corners. Setting the tray down, Willow sat down on the floor right outside the tub. She spoke with a fake cheerfulness, hoping to persuade Faith into eating. She wondered what kind of food they ate in Hell. She wondered if they ate at all. Her question would be answered later.

"It's food time, Faith! Yay, food!" She smiled brightly and handed the girl a rib. Faith stared at it like a foreign object.

"It's a rib, Faith. Your favorite..." Willow tried again, helplessly.

Then she had an idea. She took it and made a big show of eating the meat off the bones.

"Mm! Yummy ribs!"

Faith stared, then grabbed at one of the ribs on the plate and stuffed it in her mouth ravenously.

Too ravenously.

Where Willow had first watched in pleasure she soon watched in horror as Faith's teeth crunched at the bone itself and the shards cut her gums and her precious lips. Willow made a squealing noise and quickly pulled the remains from Faith's hands, forcing the girl to spit out the pieces of bone from her mouth. It was starvation that did it. Several lifetimes in Hell with no food and she couldn't die; now that she was back on Earth, her body craved food. Needed it, just like any other human being. And even more so, just like any other Slayer.

"Maybe pizza, then." Willow muttered, holding out the boneless pizza.

Faith's hand, still covered in some blood, received it less hungrily, and more cautiously. She ate with no winces or cringes or flinches; clearly she either couldn't feel pain, or the cuts were hardly enough to blip on her pain radar. Willow immediately assumed the latter.

It was disgusting for her to have to see this. And the thought that Faith had to bear through all the cuts and bruises and whatever else the inflictions were...it was terrifying. Horrific. It made the resident redhead extremely angry. And likewise, it made no sense whatsoever. Because Faith, well; Faith was a hero. She died a hero, saving the world and whatnot, and more importantly, saving them. Their happy little family of sorts. It just didn't add up correctly at all. Why would the Powers send one of their heroes down to Hell? And she was pretty sure it was Hell, because Faith wouldn't have gotten those injuries in Heaven. Buffy didn't return with those. Nope. Not at all. Buffy returned with no feelings at all. And Faith...

Faith was all about feeling. Always was, and it seemed she always would be.

Even after coming back from the dead, she was feeling. Unfortunately it was fear. Terror. Absolute, bloodcurdling, mind-numbing fear that shocked Willow. Faith never showed anything like that. Faith didn't show anything at all. Ever. It was always the sexual innuendoes, the winks, the sexy eyebrow waggling, etc. Rage, mostly, if they got to see anything at all. But here, it was all open for her to see. And it hurt. She didn't get why, but it hurt. Willow could feel every single emotionally raw-ended pain that Faith felt whenever she walked into her view during the first few hours.

Faith just hid her face in her hands and did a subtle rocking that Willow could identify as fucking insane. But it wasn't really insanity. Just protection. And that hurt, too. Faith was afraid of her. Was trying to protect herself from her. But why? Willow could make a couple guesses, but she figured she'd do some research. Problem was, all she got were myths and legends. Nothing real. Faith seemed to be the only living proof, and the most she got out of Faith was the wave of emotions she was hit with whenever Faith did some hard reflecting. Or when she was sleeping.

If you could call it that.

Nightmares, they said. They both agreed upon it. Just nightmares. They'll be gone eventually. It's just the shock of being back. But Willow couldn't handle being near Faith whenever she was sleeping anymore. She remembered the first night, when she stayed with Faith to make sure she would be alright. Faith had whimpered and cringed and was afraid, but Willow eventually got her to trust her enough to get her washed, clothed, and into bed. Immediately Faith curled up into a fetal position and trembled until she fell asleep.

A luxury she couldn't afford in Hell.

She just watched with sorrowful eyes, stroking the hair, dabbing at the sweat beads that formed on her face with a damp towel. Just ready to doze off in the chair when it happened. It was some sort of gut-wrenching impact to her mind. Faith began to thrash and scream, and Willow - if she could think at the moment - might've thanked the gods for thinking of that soundproofing spell before she put the girl to sleep. Willow was paralyzed in a state of absolute terror, and of an emotional dread that she hadn't felt since the moment before performing the Slayer activation spell. And even that was less dreadful.

This - oh Goddess - was unbearable. She could feel herself collapsing further and further into herself, hands gripping at the sides of her temples, everything inside of her begging for whatever it was to stop. To cease. She could feel her heart breaking all over again, she could feel the fear of the idea of coming out to her friends and family, she could feel the disgusting power of evil spreading inside of her body, she could feel the gloom and doom of every single apocalypse resting on her shoulders, she could feel every last one of the most horrid moments and fears playing and toying with all of her emotions at once, and there was nothing she could do about it.

That was, until one of her hands struck out and hit Faith right in the jaw. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to wake her up.

And end the feelings.

Willow was sweating profusely, and feeling the need to dab herself off, though the towel had somehow found itself flung across the room. She thanked the heavens again for bringing whatever it was to a close, and for the fact that the others were out on that trip. And again for the soundproofing spell; it would do no good for any of the neighbors to have heard that, and it would come into use when the others returned. She wiped away her tears and looked at Faith, who had no tears, but was shivering and murmuring nothings into the air.

"Goddess, Faith...what was that?" Willow had to ask, even if she knew she wasn't going to get an answer.

Faith actually glanced over at her and something deep inside sparked recognition in her eyes other than terror and fear; something that felt good for a change, and the dark-haired Slayer tried desperately to speak the word.

"R...red?"

The almighty Wiccan couldn't believe her ears. Eyes widening, she leaned in a little.

"Faith? Did you just...did you just call me-"

"R...r...ed." Faith whispered hoarsely.

And with it - Willow could've sworn it - there was a very small smile. In that smile, Willow could see that part of Faith she remembered in the old days. The Faith who still knew how to keep the party going. The Faith that enjoyed fulfilling the h&h. The Faith who died a hero. The Faith that loved their Buffy.

Tears fell unchecked and happily, while Willow smiled very widely, wanting to shake the girl in her joy.

Faith finally tapped into that reserve inside her mind that knew this grinning fool in front of her. That knew the redhead and all her silly friends. Both their friends. And for the first time since she was back, she felt a little bit of peace. A little of the turmoil lifted from her already burdened shoulders, and serenity seemed to be plausibly in reach.

Within the next two hours, they were managing a conversation. It had been difficult, since Faith continued to speak like what Willow imagined a caveman would communicate like, but it paid off. Grunts became syllables and syllables became words.

"...and I know that it's completely and utterly not of the cool, but you know how she can be without a love-mate and stuff. But now that you're back, that's gonna be totally over, I mean, why wouldn't it be over? Because it's just absolutely disgusting to see and watch and be a witness of the whole thing, and you'll see, it'll be wonderful! With the balloons and party and celebrating...and cake! Yes, lots and lots of cake! Gotta love cake, yessir. I love cake. Mm with the cake and maybe the cupcakes, too! You know, lots gets done quick, with the sugar rush and everything-"

"Red."

Willow flushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry. I get a little overboard on the babbling when I'm nervous. You know, cause I get overexcited and enthused and it's just all crazy all at once and most of the time it doesn't even make any sense at all! Because I start repeating myself and getting all exclaim-y with the exclamation points and everything and all of it just because I get-"

"Nervous. I...know. Think we...got...covered." It still was difficult for her to get the sentences out in whole, so she had to pause every once in a while to get the words straight.

"Right." Willow smiled brightly, still feeling celebratory with joy.

"Buffy...with someone." The tone in the girl's voice was so quiet, so pained, Willow's smile immediately dropped into a worrying frown.

"Yea, but...but it's gonna be over as soon as you step back. We'll work on the talking, the walking and with your Slayer healing, you'll be back to new! And everything will be dandy."

"Three years. Been gone...only three...years." Faith sounded a little taken aback. Surprised.

"That's a long time for someone to be gone, Faith. And you know how Buffy is. He's just temporary. Kind of like Scott, you remember him, right?"

"What's his name?"

Willow noted that the girl didn't have to hesitate as much.

"James. James McKinley."

"How long?"

"About a year and a half." Willow couldn't help but feel nervous when answering the question. Faith clamped her eyes shut, brows furrowing, etched in obvious pain.

There was a bit of silence before Faith opened her eyes again and asked a question that sounded somewhat accusatory, and Willow had to admit it made her feel somewhat guilty.

"And you guys...didn't stop her?"

Willow didn't know how to answer that. How do you answer that kind of a question? She knew what Faith was asking. She'd told her about how James was a complete asshole, a moocher, a sleaze, just overall no good. She commented on how everybody other than Buffy saw past his smooth-talking and wanted to smack him upside the head every time he showed his face around. They all disapproved. So the million dollar question?

Why did they let her?

The truth was, they tried to talk to her, tried to tell her, but in the end, she was adamant. Buffy just let him stay, and there was nothing they could do about it.

"We tried to." Willow whispered, deep in thought.

"But nobody tells Buffy what to do. She's a grown woman, we figured it was just a phase. A really stupid one, but a phase nonetheless. I know she still wants you, though. There's no doubt about it. Nobody talks about you in front of her, cause we know she'll just break down. I'm half afraid she's just been blocking everything away."

"It's alright. You're...right. Buffy is...big girl...a big girl. She can make...her own...choices...yea?" Faith flashed her a slight grin to indicate that she wasn't angry at her. Willow returned it with an apologetic smile.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine. Everything will be fine." She still couldn't believe she was comforting Faith.

Didn't realize she was going to have to for a bit longer than just two weeks.