Chapter 11, Moments with the Khal
Richard opened his eyes, instantly alert. Something was wrong. Something had roused him. Fully drained, he'd collapsed during the night, drifting off in exhaustion, but now, an overwhelming feel of foreboding engulfed him and had urged him from a tortured sleep. He blinked, lifting his head from where he lay in the dirt, holding his breath as he tried to pinpoint just what had him so unnerved. It seemed familiar, yet foreign as he tried to focus. Then, in an instant, he knew.
Kahlan's power. Kahlan had released her power. He'd felt the silent rumble of it travel through the land.
Misery took hold. He hadn't awakened to the dawn of a new day as he had so desperately hoped…he was only falling further into this dreadful nightmare. With a groan his head fell back in the dirt. He twisted in agony on the ground, realization shredding him. He knew now, without a doubt, Kahlan had gone through with her plan. Richard longed for the flood of rage, willing a river of wrath to fill him…anything that would ease his pain. It didn't come. He felt only heartache and despair, knowing he had failed her so completely.
In his minds eye he pictured his beloved at the hands of Khal Drogo, having his savage way with her. Richard envisioned Kahlan's tears and her steadfast will to suffer that torment for the sake of his well being. Richard seethed, his jaw clenched in anger.
Someone was going to die this day.
xx
In the faint light of dawn, Khal Drogo made his way from the tent, finding no shame in being naked. He stopped just in front Kahlan, towering over her with his hulking frame. She didn't acknowledge him…didn't even seem to know he was there as she mindlessly gazed over the dusty plains.
He'd carried with him a soft cloth and, without a word, gently began to wipe the painted symbols from her tear stained face. Still she didn't look at him. Drogo carefully pulled at the blanket held securely under her chin, opening it up to him. Kahlan didn't resist…what did it matter now? She stood like stone as he just as gently wiped the residue of oil from her skin.
When he was through, he tossed the cloth aside and lifted the blanket from her shoulders, letting it fall to the ground behind her. Standing naked before him Kahlan may have thought she wore the unreadable mask of a Confessor, but her face was carved with pain. The warm wind blew harder and the Khal stepped in closer, his arousal pressing against her belly as he ran his hands down her back. She felt no desire now…only sorrow and shame. He bent his mouth to her ear, giving her bottom a gentle squeeze, "You would make a fine Khaleesi, Kasha.
Kahlan's gaze stayed locked on the distance, her words fully devoid of emotion, sounding just as dead as she felt inside. "I already have a husband." She struggled for a moment to keep her voice. "One I adore."
He rubbed against her in a teasing manner. "And do you please him as you did me?"
At that moment she hated Khal Drogo more than anything – even more than she hated herself. She stared unflinching into the wind, a single tear slipping from the corner of her eye, her voice a hollow shaft, "I love him like no other."
Her reply only made him more sure of her qualities as a Khaleesi and his hands moved to her shoulders. "Passion and conviction: He is a lucky man."
Kahlan swallowed through the thick lump in her throat as the horizon fell into a watery blur. "I doubt he shares your opinion right now."
xx
Richard kept his eyes trained on the fading light of the fires above the rim watching for signs of Kahlan. He was desperate see her, to know she was alright. He wished only to hold her and beg her forgiveness. Grief weighed on his heart thinking she might never forgive him, but it quickly flashed to anger the moment he saw one of the Bakai men and Nateri approaching.
They were careful not to get too close, seeing him poised like a tightly wound coil ready to strike. Nateri kept her tone indifferent. "Khal Drogo is now communing with the spirits. He has three days to receive his enlightenment. If he does, you will see your Kasha again."
Richard was livid. "Kahlan!" he yelled. "Her name is Kahlan!" He hated anything to do with these savages. Erupting in rage, he lunged wildly, falling short of her in his chains, landing face first in the sand. Richard's vision seared white with passionate anger and like a violent flash of lightening, fury flooded him.
He rose to his feet with a deadly glare, his chest heaving with every breath.
Someone was going to die this day.
His raptor gaze fixed on the warrior standing along side Nateri. The man had moved forward only the slightest bit in order to protect her, but it was enough…
Richard was on him in a blink, dropping the Bakai to his knees with a swift head-butt to his skull. Quick as light, the Seeker's muscular thighs were around him, snapping his savage neck before he even knew he was about to die.
The warrior lay in a crumpled heap beneath him, but Richard's fury still burned. He seethed as he straddled the lifeless form, panting over it, his body bathed in the sweat of righteous rage. Richard shook with the violence he felt coursing though him. His wrath had cried out for blood, demanding death for what had been done, and at that moment it did not matter it was a warrior and not Khal Drogo who he'd killed…they were all responsible for this.
Right now, all he wanted was to get Kahlan back. And he would take down the entire tribe to do it.
xx
Kahlan smoothed the wispy fabric of the desert dress down over her legs. As much as she despised to wear it, it was that or the blanket. As she made her way out of the tent she was relieved to have one day down and was anxious for tomorrow when she could leave the sacred space and go to Richard.
She saw Khal Drogo on the far side of small camp, kneeling in supplication, still searching for his enlightenment from above. She went to stand at the edge of the space, near the torches that still burned, looking down to the valley below. Richard was down there somewhere and her heart ached for him, knowing the pain she would cause.
Earlier, Drogo had come to her asking questions, wanting to know more about the outside world…why she seemed so tormented by what she'd done. His barbarian ways just couldn't comprehend her despair for Richard. "He should be pleased you were chosen by the Khal. Any woman would be honored."
"He is my husband. He will not be pleased about this no matter who it's with. Can't you understand that? What if Nateri were to lay with another man? You would kill him would you not?"
He swirled some water around in a cup before taking a sip, still not seeing her point. "Yes…but, I am Khal – "
"And he is the Seeker!" she said angrily. "He is Lord Rhal." She shared that he was so much more than that and told him of her profound love for Richard and how her magic should have destroyed him, but that his love for her was so all encompassing, so special, it protected him from harm.
It suddenly dawned on Kahlan that Richard may no longer be protected…his steadfast love and devotion to her had kept him immune. She realized he would have reason to doubt that love now. Agony reached inside her once more. Dear Spirits, what have I done? Could her nightmare get any worse?
"You are his Amia? His soul's true love?" he asked from under thick eyebrows.
Kahlan struggled to answer, nodding. "He is my love. And I am his…at least, I was." Her tears started again. Tomorrow she could finally leave this space and go to him. She would throw herself at his mercy and beg for his forgiveness. She could only hope he would still have her. Kahlan wondered just how much she would have to tell him. Perhaps she wouldn't have to say anything at all - it felt to her as if her shame was written on her face for all to see.
"Something else troubles you. What is it, Kasha?"
It infuriated her that he was right, yet she felt the need to say what was driving her so mad. Kahlan turned to him, somewhat shyly, embarrassed to admit what she had to say. "Yesterday…with you…I've never been so… 'primitive' in all my life." She looked to his feet, not wanting to meet his gaze.
She didn't think barbarians chuckled but swore that was the odd sound coming from him now. Drogo lifted her chin with a finger to look at him, "I am Khal Drogo of the Bakai…I have never been more 'tender'. We were before the gods, Kasha, in the sacred Dance of Communion. I had to temper myself with you."
All this talk of sacred dances, sacred feasts and rituals left her bewildered. She looked at him a long moment, wishing truly to see inside this man. "You really believe in all this don't you? That we …'danced before gods'…"
"I do. I must. I live by it everyday." She saw the conviction in his eyes. "You would not be who you are without your magic. I would not be who I am without the spirits." He put down his cup. "And now, Kasha," he said, taking hold of her by the shoulders, "I must go and listen for what those spirits wish to tell me." He bent down and kissed the top of her head and then he was gone.
Kahlan realized, after all that had happened between them, it was the only time his lips had ever touched her.
xxx
