Takes place in Chapter 70.
Quinn looked at the boy sitting across from her, head bowed down.
Noah Puckerman had always been on her radar. While Finn had been tall and adorable, Puck had been the dangerous friend. He wore leather jackets, smirked at girls who fell at their feet trying to get close enough for him to taste. It had always intrigued her, that smirk. It held such promise, such potential. Hearing Santana buff her nails and smile with satisfaction the morning after with Puck had only heightened the appeal.
She wasn't stupid. Quinn had noticed the way Puck's gaze would turn hungry whenever she would sway her hips a little more when she walked by. But she loved Finn, loved the way he seemed to cherish her like something fragile and delicate. Finn Hudson was the Prince Charming she had always imagined as a little girl. Sure he had his moments, but overall he was patient and kind. A heart filled with good. Quinn had reveled under that attention.
Until, that is, Rachel Berry had stormed through the barn doors.
Suddenly Finn always seemed to be distracted, his brown eyes always lingering on Rachel. Quinn had joined the Glee club, risked social suicide for him and yet she just knew that something was happening between her boyfriend and Rachel despite his consistent denials. Finn would roll his eyes, call her paranoid, brush away her complaints as if they were nothing.
Suddenly Puck seemed entirely too prominent, a weapon she could utilize to hurt the one person who was always supposed to be there for her.
But then the way he had held her, the way Puck had brushed her hair back and smoothed his palms over her arms after they were finished in bed…something inside Quinn had bloomed.
That feeling evaporated when she realized she was pregnant.
Since then she had just been swimming through a current that was too strong for her, struggling to keep adrift. Her parents hated her, she was a social outcast, the one girl she had tortured mercilessly had extended the hand of friendship to her. Everything was upside down, inside out. The one thing she had been sure of was that this life growing inside her needed something more than Quinn could give – a real home, one with two adults who knew what they were doing.
Seeing the hurt and anger flash across Puck's face when she had suggested it made her feel guilty, because it suddenly made her realize that the one person who hadn't left her side since her life had spun out of control was the one she had probably been hurting the most.
It makes her want to laugh even more when the folder he gives her is the exact same one she had picked.
'I used to look at Finn the same way,' Quinn told him, watched the flicker of emotions dance across his face. 'You used to look at me the same way too.'
The regret is something new, a feeling she hasn't ever attached with Noah Puckerman since that fateful night. It makes her yearn for Finn, for Puck. It makes her yearn for someone who wants to cherish her again.
Except, Quinn realized, that Finn has never looked at her the same way. Rachel is the center of Puck's universe, the only thing his eyes can see when they touch upon the petite diva. With Finn, particularly towards the end, it always seemed that he had someone else on his mind whenever they were together.
It eats away at Quinn that Rachel Berry now has something else of hers yet again that she isn't supposed to have.
Then again, she mused, as Jose's crooked grin flashed across her mind. Then again, perhaps God won't keep punishing her for her mistake too much longer.
