The Fullmetal Alchemist Christmas Collection

Song 11: Edward Got Run Over By an Armstrong

Author: MoonStarDutchess

Dedicated to Sophie who inspired the idea even though she wasn't trying.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the song this parody's. This parody's Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

September 2015 - This was originally posted as a separate story quite a few years ago, but I want to clean up my account a bit so I decided to delete it there and post it in this collection. Hope you like it.


Edward Got Run Over By an Armstrong

Walking home from HQ on a workday eve

You can say that no such thing could happen

But as for us and Edward, we believe

-/-/-

He'd been bitching about being too short

And was inching for a fight

He was so mad that he was blind

And stumbled off into the night.

When we found him the next morning

At the scene of the attack

There were sparkles on his forehead

And Armstrong's footprints on his back.

-/-/-

Edward Got Run Over By an Armstrong

Walking home from headquarters on a workday eve

You can say that no such thing could happen

But as for us and Edward, we believe

-/-/-

Now we're all so proud of Alphonse

He's taking it so well

He's there playing with kittens

And doesn't have to keep Edward out of jail

It's just not the same without Edward

All the family's dressed in blue

And we just can't help but show some respect

By wearing lifts in our shoes.

-/-/-

Edward Got Run Over By an Armstrong

Walking home from headquarters on a workday eve

You can say that no such thing could happen

But as for us and Edward, we believe

-/-/-

Now the bowl is on the table

It's full of lovely small mints

And the Hors d' oeuvres are lovely

A very good variety of shrimps.

I've warned all the guards and civilians

They'd better watch out for themselves

If they should see sparkles

They should run like a bat out of hell

-/-/-

Edward Got Run Over By an Armstrong

Walking home from headquarters on a workday eve

You can say that no such thing could happen

But as for us and Edward, we believe