Happy Holidays, folks!
I haven't updated in so long, and I feel bad about that. Luckily, I'm free for a while, so now I can actually work on writing here! Anyway, I'm going to do a Christmas special! It may be short, but I'll try to make it as good as possible.
Enjoy and Happy Holidays!
"Welcome back everyone!" Frenzy announces. The set is decked for the holidays with the floor now covered with fake snow and the lights changed from ice blue to a warm red. The seats are row red and white striped and everyone is dressed for the holidays, either in elf suits or holiday-colored variations of their outfits. Frenzy and the females dress as elves while the majority of the men wear holiday versions of their outfits. The modern-day men wear ugly sweaters. "How is everybody doing?"
"Why do we have to wear these ridiculous costumes?" Cristina complains.
"Come on, they're cute," Rebecca replies optimistically.
"I agree with Cristina here," Shaun pipes up. "I mean, these sweaters are itchy."
"But it's the howidays," Frenzy retorts in a baby voice. "Now be festive dammit!"
"I'm not even Christian!" Altaïr points out with a few others agreeing.
"So? You can celebrate Festivus for the Rest of Us, even if it was a few days ago," Frenzy responds. "We can air some grievances or something."
"What's a Festivus?" Asked Desmond.
"What."
"Seriously, I've never heard of it. I'm sure others haven't either."
"That's because most of them don't even know what a television is," Frenzy says monotonously. "Nevermind that, let's just do something run!"
"Run?" Shaun asks incredulously. "Don't you mean 'fun'?"
"Yes I did, sorry about that," Frenzy apologizes, her head hanging low. "Oh crap! I forgot that I still had some announcements!"
"How do you forget?" Clay asks teasingly.
"I don't know, I just did," the hostess weakly defends herself. "First off, let's welcome back Lucy Stillman, who was locked in the closet!" The sleeper agent walks onto the stage and she takes a seat with a pout on her face. "Come on, cheer up!" For this, she receives a death glare.
"You kept me in a damn closet," the blonde growled dangerously. The hostess raises her hands in defense.
"So," Frenzy draws out the vowel, "I'll take that as a no. Secondly, I mentioned earlier that we would have three new guests. Everyone, let's welcome our vixen Anne Bonny and former mentors William Miles and Achilles Davenport!" Anne is the first to walk out, followed by the mentors. They each take their seats next to modern-day Assassins and Templars. Even with the mostly jolly mood, tension begins to grow.
"Dad," Desmond greets disdainfully.
"Desmond," William replies in the same tone.
"God, it feels just like the holidays," Clay muses aloud.
"All we're missing is the booze," Frenzy chuckles.
"Booze?" Edward asks.
"We've got eggnog!" A staff member walks out in an elf outfit as she moves a festive tray with cups and spiked eggnog. There was another tray moved by another worker full of normal eggnog for the non-drinkers and Frenzy.
"There it is!" The teen squeals excitedly before clearing her throat. "I mean, there it is." Most of the contestants cheer and stand up to get the drink. In the background, Christmas music begins to play and the lights dim. The Christmas lights plug in as well as the tree, giving the room an even more festive look.
"Happy Holidays, everyone!" The hostess shouts.
"We're done here?" Clay asks happily.
"For the moment, but we are going to go on commercial for a split second, and then we are going to be festive," Frenzy explains.
"I'm pretty damn festive right now," Edward slurs.
"You're drunk already?" Haytham asks in disbelief.
"It's not that uncommon," Blackbeard states while chuckling. He receives a dirty look from the blond pirate.
"Commercial time!" Frenzy shouts before anything could happen.
"And we're back!" The hostess announces. The stools have been changed to comfier lounge chairs for the contestants. "We are going to have some fun here!"
"You said that how long ago now?" Shaun inquires in an exasperated tone. Frenzy doesn't respond for a minute or so. When the historian was about to speak up again, the hostess throws a ball at him that would open and release a green dust. This "dust" would quickly knock him out.
"What the hell just happened?" Daniel asks, rather confused.
"The Grinch's heart wouldn't grow two sizes today so I put into a short sleep using some Christmas magic," Frenzy explains. "Now he will have visions of sugar plums dancing in his head."
"You are sick, you know that?" Desmond says.
"You're one to talk."
"Whoa, everyone calm down," Anne speaks as she starts standing up. "While I don't celebrate this holiday, we should at least remain in a good mood. Even with a fellow man passed out on the floor, let's be cheery." With this, everyone is silent. Frenzy is the first to break the silence.
"Damn, I never thought we'd ever have a voice of reason," she says. "Thanks Anne. You know what? The holidays are too damn stressful for everyone. Let's not celebrate Christmas." This causes most of the audience to gasp. "Let's celebrate Saturnalia!"
"What?" Half of the contestants ask.
"It's a pagan holiday that takes place on the winter solstice. It would usually last from December 17-25 and would have many amorous and cruel activities. Trees were worshipped by the pagans and would be decorated. There were also huge parties that included alcohol, fights, and orgies."
"Oooh," the audience says.
"Let's do that, just without the orgies and the fighting," Claudia proposes. She earns cheers from everyone on the set.
"Let most of us drink to our hearts' content!" Edward shouts merrily.
"Happy Merry Ho Ho Ho!" Shouts a familiar voice. It was Santa Claus with an Italian accent.
"Since when does Santa have an Italian accent?" Rebecca asks.
"And where's Ezio?" Maria Auditore asks. It is at this that moment where everyone realizes that the Master Assassin was gone. They slowly turn their heads in the Santa's direction and they also realize that he was Santa.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you that we're celebrating Saturnalia," Frenzy now tells the Italian.
"So I'm dressed as... this fat man for nothing?" He responds.
"Yes," a sharp British voice replies. Everyone's heads turn sharply to see that the historian has awakened.
"Look who's awake?" Frenzy says happily. "It's a Saturnalian miracle! See what happens when you celebrate Saturnalia?"
"So we are celebrating a pagan holiday?" Shaun asks.
"Yeah," the majority of the contestants and Frenzy reply.
"Aw, what the hell." With this, everyone in the audience and on the set cheers.
"Now, let us all sing some wonderfully secular song!" Rebecca shouts. Out of nowhere, All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor begins to play and Frenzy becomes irate very fast.
"DAMN IT!" The hostess shouts angrily. She then grabs a green ball full of 'Christmas magic' and smashes it against her forehead. She then falls to the ground unconscious.
"Well, that happened," Haytham points out the obvious. "Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy Saturnalia folks!"
Yeah, I don't own All About That Bass or Assassin's Creed. This didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it, but I hope you still enjoyed it!
Happy Saturnalia!
