If you will, read the note at the end. It pertains to old readers who may still read this fic. New readers can read it too.
The silence was deafening.
He could hear nothing and everything.
No noise could be heard from his friends. They were all quietly standing outside the operating room, a bright red light above the door signalling the ongoing surgery. Fidgeting as they were, no one dared to break the silence.
Outside their little crowd, the hospital went on. Nurses and doctors brushed past them, some recognizing them because of the sudden increase of hospital visits and stays over the year. They took a look at them, then the operating room, and walked off with a look of slight pity. But they would go on, walk away, away from them. Pity was all they had to offer.
He himself was a different story.
His heartbeat was pounding. The silence only elevated the noise in his head. His breathing was shaky and uneven. His hands were still, but the clamminess of his palms gave away his feelings. He felt compelled to tap his feet against the white linoleum tiles of the hallway, but he remembered the glare he received from Hibari-san so he stopped himself. His stomach was churning from nervousness. It was like the feeling he got when waiting for the teacher to pass out a test he knew he failed- except everything was worse. The paranoia heightened, the nervousness was indescribable, the feeling of helplessness, of failure, just went up the roof because his sister, his sister, was in there, being operated on, poison in her body, injuries all over like it was Mukuro all over again. He just wanted someone to tell him that she'd be okay, that she'd recover like last time, that she'd be healthy and fit and with no injuries.
No one did.
Not Gokudera-kun, not Yamamoto. Not Onii-san. Not Reborn, not Fon. Not anyone.
Because they knew they would be lying if they said so. They knew that she was not okay, she was not going to suddenly come out and hug him and comfort him. They knew better than anyone else that she was in there, hooked up with all those machines again, pumped full of anaesthetic, mouth covered in a foggy oxygen mask, face scrunched up in pain.
They saw when the door opened for Bianchi after she was called in to help Shamal with the poison. They saw a second time when Fon was ushered in, something about disintegrating the poison; he couldn't hear properly, the wires tangled up with the machines also seemed to be tangling up his neck and cutting of his air supply. The third time, Reborn was called in by Bianchi, who he heard saying "all hands on deck." He couldn't bring himself to look inside anymore because he was scared he'd break down into hysterics.
His clenched fists tightened as the surgery dragged on. Was it supposed to take so long? Well, they had to extract the poison from her body so it probably would.. How much poison was in her body? The Varia guy said she had six poisoned wounds, was that a lot? How much poison was on his blade? How potent was it? How fast was it spreading? If Shamal was taking so long, even with a poison specialist like Bianchi, was it going badly? Is that why Fon and Reborn was called in? Was she in pain? Would she be okay? Would she make it? Will she di-
Unconsciously, his heartbeat started quickening even more, his head hurling thoughts and scenarios everywhere. His hands started to shake, his shoulders trembling along. Suddenly it's hard to breathe again.
"-na! Tsuna, calm down! Tsuna!"
He snapped his head up and met Yamamoto's worried eyes. What? Why was he holding his shoulders so tightly?
"Tsuna, you're having a panic attack-" What? No, he wasn't... Was he? His hands were shaking and his heart felt like it would beat through his chest.
"Tsuna, look at me!" And he did. He looked right into Yamamoto's eyes. "Breathe. In and out." He did, slowly, but he did it. "Listen to me, right now, we're in the hospital. We're waiting for your sister to come out of surgery. She will be okay. She will be fine. You don't have to be scared. She's gonna be alright, the kid's in there helping her. You know him, he always makes things fine again."
That's right, Reborn's always there to help. In one way or another. Even if he's the reason for everything that happens, he's always part of the reason everything becomes okay. If he's in there helping, then she'd be fine, right?
He breathed again and again. Yamamoto kept his hands on his shoulders. His grip was tight, but at the same time it gave a sense of security. He felt just a bit calmer. Ah, was this the thing Reborn talked about? Rains and their attribute or whatever, washing away worries.
He took a glance around. Gokudera-kun was right beside them, looking a little reluctant. He probably didn't know how to deal with things like this. It was fine. He didn't either. Onii-san was sitting on the chairs across from them, looking worried too. Hibari-san was further away, seated at the entrance of the operating room. He wasn't looking at them, but a frown marred his face.
"How about, when Nee-san comes out and everything is okay, we go over to your house and have a big sleepover?" Yamamoto smiled at him. "We'll ask your mom to make us something to eat, she makes really good food. And we can play games or something. Right, Gokudera?"
The mentioned teen flinched at the mention of his name before nodding furiously. "That's right, Tenth! We'll do that and have a good night's rest afterwards."
"Ah," he turned back to Yamamoto, "but if you want to stay here, that's fine too. I'm sure we can ask the hospital for some spare blankets and pillows. We can order some takeout too. What do you say?"
He couldn't speak. He felt like something was stuck in his throat. Too many feelings, too many. He didn't know how to deal with that. It was overwhelming him. He used to think he went through a lot of emotions when he came home from another day as a failure, but this-... There were more than just being upset and feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet. There was desperation, grief, happiness, mixed with a lot of gratitude. If he tried talking now, then he'd-
"T-tsuna? A-are you okay?"
"T-tenth! Shit- Turftop! Don't just sit there, help me get tissues!"
-then he'd cry.
The silence was deafening.
She couldn't hear anything.
But it was rather peaceful. There was nothing. No need for anything. No need to do anything. No need to worry about anything.
"I don't know about that one."
She opened her eyes and saw a familiar presence in her mindscape.
"You're currently undergoing intensive surgery as we speak. They're trying to get that poison out of you." Mukuro gave her a smirk. "And it seems as it really did a number on you, so I wouldn't say that you have nothing to worry about."
"What are you doing here?"
"Nothing really." But obviously something as a chair materialized and he sat down. "I'm surprised. I didn't think your mindscape would be so plain."
She frowned. "Well, I don't ever remember giving you permission to intrude my mind, so you better mind manners." Though, the comment did bother her just a bit. It wasn't her fault it was plain. It wasn't as if she could just make stuff appear like an illusionist. If she could she'd have a chair too. Maybe a beach. A white sand beach. Surrounded by pretty clear blue water. Some trees would be nice, and a beautiful blue sky with fluffy white clouds, too. And- ah.
Suddenly the 'plain' mindscape of hers transformed into just that. How?
Mukuro smirked. "It's your mind, anything is possible. And you're more easily bothered by simple things than you let on."
"Oh shut it." Maybe if she willed a piece of cake to- oh, there it was. "I'm sure you're not here to witness me explore the limitations of my mind, so please answer the question truthfully."
"Kufufu, who said I wasn't truthful in my first answer?"
She gave him an annoyed look.
"I was told by Chrome what happened-"
"She was there?"
"Yes, albeit further away from the field. She wanted to watch. Don't interrupt." He returned the annoyed look. "And I must say, I'm a bit disappointed by your performance. Downed by a bit of poison?"
"Well it's not like I wanted that to happen did I?"
"Perhaps not, but nonetheless, a bit pathetic. Your stunt with the ring was also unimpressive. It was incredibly stupid, and to be driven into such a corner that you'd resort to some idiotic tactic like that is even more unimpressive. Maybe I overestimated you, Sawada Asuka."
"And I'm also unimpressed that you'd barge into my head just to tell me that I'm an unimpressive person." She willed a coconut tree to appear next to him and made a coconut fall onto his head. He looked even more unimpressed than he already was, if that was possible.
"...Think what you must." He straightened up in his chair. "I'll also have you know that I've called someone to help in the case that things get out of hand."
"Really?" Her eyebrow lifted in suspicion. "The great Rokudo Mukuro would willingly ask someone for help?"
His smirk twitched. "You really are insufferable. And yes. I asked someone to help me because I believe your brother and his little friends are incapable of getting through this without harming his body, which will be a bit of a setback in my plans."
"Not while you're stuck in prison, it won't." She was unimpressed with his obsession over her brother. Very unimpressed.
"That won't matter. The aid's name is Lancia. You may have heard of him from your brother or that Arcobaleno. In any case, that is all I have to say for now. Getting into your mind took a bit more energy than expected. Do try and not die."
And then he disappeared.
Tsuna took a sip of the cool can of tea from the vending machine.
He had calmed down, with the help of Yamamoto. He had asked him how he did what he did. The boy only laughed it off and went on about how once, someone on the baseball team broke his leg after nasty fall, and the coach had to calm him down from a panic attack while the ambulance was on the way. He just remembered all the things the coach did and tried to do the same to him. It was a completely different scenario, but- 'hey, it worked out in the end, didn't it?'- was what he said.
And he was very thankful it did.
He just needed take his mind off of those scenarios, just for a little while to get his thoughts sorted. The silence made it worse. His friends noticed. Yamamoto had stood and whispered something to Onii-san, who nodded and stood with him. They both went off somewhere before coming back with some board games, drinks, and snacks.
"We got these from the nurses at the children's area," replied Yamamoto when he asked about the games.
Right now, they were playing a game of Candy Land. Yamamoto, bless him, had tried to get Hibari-san to play as well. But the prefect only scoffed and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes.
It was in the middle of a round of Connect Four between Onii-san and himself.
They were seated on the floor in a square. He was facing the door of the operating room. He was the first to see the red light flicker green.
Immediately he stood up, alarming his friends and the prefect, who whipped out a tonfa in habit. A few moments later, the doors in front of him opened. Reborn and Fon stepped out, followed by Shamal.
Tsuna walked past Ryohei and towards the three, eyes shining with an obvious emotion, knees a bit weak.
"Well," Shamal spoke first, "the good news is that she's stable."
He crumpled to the floor. He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Her wounds weren't as deep as I predicted they'd be, which is good. It means that there wouldn't have been that much poison." The doctor frowned right after. "On the flip side, the poison itself was potent. When we began extracting the poison, some of it already started to assimilate into her bloodstream. We couldn't do much about that since we didn't know the composition of the poison. Bianchi and I are trying to figure out the compounds and an antidote, but since the Varia one made it himself, it'll be a hard one to tackle. Thankfully, we had these two," he nodded towards Reborn and Fon. "They helped a lot in getting rid of the poison that wasn't already assimilated, and we got some samples to work with too."
Fon frowned slightly. "I would say the worst is over, but we do not know the true extents of the poison. That boy Raphael said it was a pain enhancer, an extreme one to boot, but that is all. For what we know, there could be other dangerous extents-"
The babies suddenly whipped their heads towards the entrance of the hall. In Reborn's hand, Leon morphed into his signature gun.
"That's right~"
They all froze at the voice. The doors opened wide, revealing a smiling Raphael.
"You!- How dare you show yourself here!" Gokudera whipped out a handful of bombs, preparing an attack, but a sharp glare from Shamal stopped him. It was a hospital. No bombs.
"Buonosera to you too, Smoking Bomb. And last time I checked, this hospital is a public place. Anyone can come and go~"
The sound of a gun cocking echoed through the hall. Raphael looked down and smiled at Reborn. "Now, now, Arcobaleno, let's not be so hasty. I'm not here to cause any trouble." He looked past them and motioned at the operating room. "Although the bella did cause me some trouble with the boss with the little stunt she pulled."
"You're not welcome here."
Orange caught his eyes. Raphael shifted his eyes over to Tsuna. He raised his brows at the orange sky flame alight his head.
"Wow, you're lighting your flame for little ol' me? What an honor." He faked a pouty expression. "But I guess, if you want me gone so badly, I'll have to leave, along with this beautiful antidote to a poison I made."
That statement cause the rest of the people in the room to freeze up. He smirked. His hand reached into his pocket and took out a small bottle of liquid. He twirled it around mockingly.
"You want this for the bella, don't you?"
Tsuna frowned deeper. "Why would you be willing to give that to us?"
"Hm~" The blond teetered on his feet. "Just because. It'll be more interesting that way. If the bella dies, I'll get bored real fast, but it's not like I intended for that to happen anyway. Plus, that fight wasn't satisfying at all. Victory means nothing if the bella couldn't even swing a stick without hitting four other metal ones. It'll be much more fun if I get to destroy her on even ground."
He tossed the bottle over to Tsuna. "Use it. Instructions on the bottom. Don't blame me if you can't read my handwriting." He turned around and opened the door before pausing. "Oh! I forgot, tell the bella I said hi when she wakes up. Other than that, arrivederci~"
He stared at the bottle in his hand. The instructions were in messy Italian.
"Tsuna." He looked over to Reborn, who was frowning just as he was. "It's your call."
His eyes trail from the liquid to the entrance of the hall, where Raphael had been moments ago. He was in no way trustworthy, he was the reason Asuka was even hurt in the first place. At the same time, there was not tugging feeling at the back of his mind whenever he felt that something was wrong. No warning system blaring and saying to throw the bottle away immediately.
Shamal had said the antidote, if they were to make one, would take a while to formulate. The antidote, if it even was it, was in his hands. His sister's possible lifeline was in his hands. His sister was his lifeline. His own lifeline was in his hands.
A tired sigh left him. He turned to Shamal and gave him the bottle.
"You miss every shot you don't take, right?"
Hibari sat down.
He did not move. Instead he wondered.
He thought of her injured form. The blood that dripped down her wounds and covered her hands. He thought of her pained expression as she fell from the poison. He thought of her bedridden self covered in bandages and attached to wires and machines. The weak, herbivorous state that she was driven to. Unacceptable.
He wondered more. Of the monkey king and his minions. Of the one with the tear marking on his face. Of how he will destroy them in his own battle. He wondered of how he'd bring him to his knees. He would make them realize how pathetic their lives were. But the tear marked one would not be his to bring down. That would be for Asuka's.
That one would be her's to conquer. It was her right to defeat him. He would not interfere.
Then he thought of her weakened state again.
...Perhaps he would lend a hand if necessary. But ultimately he would not take another's prey.
Carnivores didn't share.
Without the wind, the sky is empty.
Without the wind, the sky will fall.
Without the wind, there is no sky.
Unedited. Excuse any mistakes and inconsistencies.
A brief (long) note from the apologetic and slightly surprised author:
Hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, how are you, I'm good, thank you, I hope you are well, too. It's been quite a while -cough- since I updated this story. It's really because I was really busy during the summer following school's end, and consequently lost a lot of motivation, inspiration, and interest towards anime in general. (I also will not lie- I was put down by the lack of feedback despite a relatively high number of favorites and follows. I've noticed throughout the years that lack of reviews is a common reason authors lose interest and motivation. Asking for reviews passed my mind once, you know, 'Please R&R!' or 'Leave a review uwu!' but I decided not to. Let them do as they please. Laissez-faire.) Recently though, I was reintroduced back into anime and found myself falling in love again, albeit in the privacy of home lol. I watched, rewatched, read, and reread a lot of shows and manga, KHR being one of them. Imagine my surprise when I saw that EldLive and KHR collab trailer thing. KHR is one of my all time favorites, it's hard to let go of something like that.
(Also, watching all those anime got me unconsciously brainstorming fanfic ideas that I'd rather not act on because commitment issues amirite.)
I never really forgot about this fic, it was in the back of my mind somewhere, owaiting to be dug up. I guess I felt a little guilty leaving it off unfinished so early. I swear I had a lot of things planned. I had a bunch of ideas written in a little old notebook (snippets of plot, how the ring battles would go and end, details of Asuka's role in the future arc, her box weapon, Vongola gear, her possible relationship with Raphael and the Varia, the first gen Vongola, a LOT of detail on Guillelmina -whose chapter I will take down and maybe reupload if i decide to finish the varia arc-, and some vague ideas on the arcobaleno arc). As you can see, I thought of ALOT of ideas. In the old chapters, I also wrote in clues and foreshadowing in preparation for the future arcs. Of course, now that I look back I realize how shitty everything is..
BUT. I've also noticed that people still read this embarrassing little piece of my life's history. I was surprised when I checked the story stats and saw how the view count was still increasing and all that. It's nowhere near numbers of when I still updated, but it counts.
I don't know how many people still read this, or how many of the people from way back still want this to be finished, or how many people even like this fic, or how many people would be happy to see an update. But I will write a chapter to test the waters. See if I will still feel motivated writing this fic, see if people will read. If not, well, that's fine, I wouldn't mind. If so, I might just continue this fic for what it is. With a lot. A LOT. of editing.
