A/N: I'm BAAAACK! Sorry again for the irregular updates! I have no good excuse but laziness this time (and well, I had to go away for the weekend for Father's Day). Also, I had no idea how to open this chapter after the events of the last one. But I reached a hundred reviews! I never thought I'd get this far and it's because of you guys! I love all my readers so, SO much! Luckily, summer vacation is here and I'd get tons of updates up! But I'm glad you guys like Luka. She's really big in the series (and so is everyone else) Well, I also have another story idea up posted on my profile but don't worry. I won't stop the series just for that. It'll probably be an in between project or even be written when this series is done! It's just there to improve my writing! Check it out and tell me if you're actually interested ; )! For now, enjoy this next chappie guys!

Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid. Though I'd love to finally see it in English.

Thank you to MaxJacksonCullengirl, MusicGamer, Silver Rowdyruff Girl, x-Rinny-Lenny, ReturnoftheWings, aira2889, Campanella, Sweet Lollita, davison, BloodyBlackRabbit, Tragic Universe, akichanz, Pomegranata, chibis of evil, The Decereo Sisters, Silent Affair, and CluelessLeaf for reviewing! Reached 100 because of you guys *sqeals* /died and went to writer's heaven ; )

And thank you to my precious betas, MusicGamer and CluelessLeaf! Loved the ideas you gave and what you did to the last chapter! I seriously love you!

Summary: Memories: They hold the very things we love and the very things we despise. Well, for this girl, Rin Kagamine, her memories are the link, the link that ties everyone and everything, including this story together. First part of the Memories Series! RinxLen


Chapter 10: Cowardice

(Rin's POV)

Kaito Shion. With his messy mop of blue hair and his impulsive way of acting, many would call him an idiot. Though I would think otherwise. Instead, I, and few others who know him like I do, would instead call him a coward. And the only way I know this is because I was a coward myself. With that common bond, we faced our fears together in the past, creating a strong friendship between the two of us. But mishaps, lies, and rumors caused that friendship to deteriorate leaving me alone to face my fears in solitude with denial of my fears serving as my only means of survival. But recent events taught me not to deny my problems, instead I should confront them, make amends with them. And now, I can no longer deny that my biggest fear, my main source of cowardice over the past few years, is happening. I can no longer deny my fear of my past, the past I have been trying to shed off, coming back to haunt me. And the individuals in front of me prove it.

Kaito Shion, the boy who fed me to my fears, is the second memento of my past, currently standing in the foyer of my apartment complex, bringing the company of a very anxious Len Kagamine.

What brought me trudging back to my old life I've been scared of all along? I look at the pink haired maiden next to me, sporting a very weary expression on her face, for the answer. It's all because of her. I look at the three of them and myself, individuals looking so familiar and at the same time, so unfamiliar. It's because I just can't get over them... I look over all of us once again, though this time as a group instead of individuals. It all seems so natural, meant to be, despite the hostility. I smile. ...And it's because they can't get over me either.

After yesterday's events, I finally managed to calm Luka's frantic sobs, and decided to take her home since she was in no state to go home all by herself nonetheless go back to a home so near to your source of misery. I pulled the wet and freezing Luka up and I urged her to follow me home, comforting her all the way. As soon as I arrived, I pushed the door open with my hand holding on strongly at the dejected Luka, and called out to Teto for help.

Instead, Miku came out into the foyer in her pajamas, without really paying attention to what was in front of her, specifically, not paying attention to Luka. "Rinny, Teto's already sleeping. Said she needed to wake up-" Miku abruptly ended her sentence as soon as she saw me with a panicked expression etched on my face and Luka, slumping next to me, looking very pale from the cold.

I took advantage of her moment of shock to speak as I quickly got Luka inside the house where it was warmer. "Miku, do you have any spare clothes Luka-chan can borrow? And do you think Teto'll let Luka stay over for the night? I'll explain later, I promise, but right now, she's freezing."

Miku dazed, sensed my urgency and nods unsurely, replying "Umm... Teto won't mind but... umm..." Miku took a deep breath as of she's willing for her uncertainty to go away. "Just take her by the fireplace while I get clothes so she can dry up. Make Mikuo and Kei-pon get blankets for her too. She looks really pale." With that, she hurriedly went up to get clothes she promised. I gave her a smile and thanked her, for her clothes, her sudden compassion for Luka, and the trust she has for me.

I pulled the very pale Luka towards the loft where Kei-kun and Mikuo were currently watching TV. Shock was evident on their faces as Mikuo questioned, "Rinny, what's she doing her-"

Before he could even finish his question, I seated Luka right in front of the fireplace, hoping she would get warmer. I looked at both boys in front of me and commented, "Guys, can you do me a favor and get towels and blankets. Luka-chan looks really sick."

Mikuo looked like he was about to press further though he was cut off by Kei-kun who dragged him away, giving me a simple but reassuring nod in response. Meanwhile I went to the kitchen and got Luka a cup of tea from the teapot Teto prepared for me when I returned. I poured her some and brushed her hair out of her face.

She smiled weakly and muttered, "Thank you Rin-chan. Really, you're doing too much for me. I don't deserve what you're doing to me."

I smiled back, and replied "It's okay Luka-chan. Anything to keep you from getting hurt or sick. You're staying here the night okay? I wouldn't want you to go home yourself."

"Oh, no Rin! I'll just be a burden!" Luka replied in a weak whisper.

I winked at her and simply responded, "You're not a burden. You're a friend." This gave Luka the smile I had been trying to coax out of her.

Soon Miku came back with clothes, just another pair of pajamas, and I ushered Luka to get changed in the bathroom. Only when she got there did Miku send me an apprehensive look. "What is she doing here, Rinny? You promised me an explanation."

I answered, "She was stood up." Miku looked confused for a moment before finally realizing the predicament, exactly why I was showing so much compassion towards her. I was glad Miku was the first one I had to provide with an explanation as she would be able to sympathize Luka and understand even a little bit of the grief she must be going through. I nodded remorsefully, continuing, "And not just by any guy, a guy she's been in love with since she was a kid."

Miku spoke out with anger that made her seem as if she were the victim. "Well that's just horrible! What kind of ass would do that to a childhood friend! Childhood friend romances don't work that way! Those relationships are supposed to be built on the trust the individuals have for each other from childhood! Poor girl! She must feel sick!" At that moment, I thanked Miku's crazy romantic side as because if that, she fully sympathized for Luka and by the looks of it, be more than willing to help her.

Luka coincidentally stumbled out of the bathroom just as Mikuo and Kei came back with blankets. One look at Miku's very agitated posture and her brother smirked, inquiring, "Why the tantrum, sis? Is it that time of the month?"

This sent Miku flaring, red with both embarrassment and fury but instead of pounding at Mikuo like usual, she instead just harshly grabbed the blankets away from the boys, looped her arms securely around me and the overwhelmed Luka, and rushed us upstairs, yelling, "Because boys are all just assholes!" With that, she slammed the door, sure to confuse Mikuo and Kei below us.

When we arrived in the room, Miku let out a shrill, annoyed yell to vent her frustrations. Under her breath, she mumbled out a string of profanities about her twin, Kei, and the male population in general. Only when her rant was done did she remember that Luka was with us, somewhat scared of Miku's violent vibe radiating off her. "Oh, I'm sorry Luka-chan but it's just that that idiot always pisses me off! I should be worried about your well being!"

Luka shook her head, "Oh, no need to worry, Hatsu-"

"Miku-chan." Miku assured Luka with a grin. Luka just nodded incredulously in return. Miku's grin turned to a frown of worry. "Now, I think you had a long day. Maybe we should just go to sleep. You can take my bed; I'll sleep on the couch."

Then it's my turn to object. "Miku, I can't let you do that! I was the one who brought Luka here so I should be the one who-"

Luka cut me off saying, "Rin, Miku, you both shouldn't have to sleep there. You've both been too kind for me so the least I can do is to sleep on the couch!"

Miku just released a sigh, shaking her head, making her teal locks sway. "Gosh, you two worry too much. I'll be the one sleeping at the couch. Luka-chan, you need a good bed to sleep in with your condition and Rinny, I wouldn't want my idiotic, perverted brother to get anywhere near you at night. And anyway, that'll give you guys time to talk." And with that, Miku walked out the door before the two of us could say anything else.

"She really is something," Luka breathed out, obviously referring to Miku.

This causes me to giggle. "She sure is." I looked at Luka, concerned yet again. "So how are you doing?"

"I'm good really, Rin-chan." Luka tried to convince me of her well being with a forced, strained smile on her face. This only worried me more though I drop the subject, respecting her by not forcing her to talk if she doesn't want to. I just sigh at her persistence.

"Well, you should get some rest to make sure. If you ever need anything, I'll always be right here for you, 'kay?" I said to her as I positioned myself on my bed. Luka on the other hand remained still.

"Always...There..." Luka frowned staring at space before averting her gaze back to me putting on that strained smile yet again. "Thank you, Rin-chan. I-I'm too weak to be alone."

I glanced at her meaningfully, bringing myself into a sitting position. "No worries, Luka-chan." I took a while before I continued, daring myself to bring up the past. Looking straight into her eyes in a intense daze, I reminisced, "Remember, when we were young? I said that I would always have your back." I pause seeing if Luka recalled my memory. To my surprise, a single tear drop fell from her face, still faking happiness, unchanged from her fake smile. Her eyes showed nothing but remembrance. I smiled comfortingly and took the liberty of wiping her tear. "Well, I still do. Nothing's changed."

Luka's face glowed with happiness as she finally soothed her posture, letting herself show. "I owe you so much." Luka began to lie down and bury herself in the blankets provided for her. She faced me one final time before whispering, "But I'll be sure to pay you back."

I ended up sleeping soundly, glad for cheering up Luka-chan but still a bit perplexed about the recent events. The past sure comes when you least expect it. I just hope I have enough courage to face it head on. With that, I ended the night comforted by my dreams, hearing a lullaby of fireworks, reminiscent and foretelling at the same time.

I woke up to the nonstop ringing on the doorbell. I opened my eyes groggily to see Luka's dreamworld was disturbed as well. We glanced sleepily at each other before I bothered to get up and get the door before the doorbell woke everyone else. Luka just wearily followed. The sight I saw past the door definitely woke me up; Luka, too. And as I tried to process the thoughts in my head, my thoughts from last night flash in my mind. The past sure comes when you least expect it. That is true looking at the two individuals in front of me here at the break of dawn. I just hope I have enough courage to take it on. But looking at one of their intense glances, I am sure that this is my time for my courage to be tested.


I had more than enough time to recall the previous events in the long awkward silence we experienced when I let them in the foyer, just staring at each other, the four of us, not saying a word. I finally had enough and decide to break the silence.

"Ummm.. What are you guys doing here?" I mumble.

Len and Kaito jump from my question and look at each other, seemingly scared of my harmless question.

"L-Luka-chan" Len stammers, his voice cracking going high. He doesn't meet my gaze but he explains in a rush, "We were looking for Luka-chan, nobo- nothing else."

"Ummm... yeah." Kaito continues to elaborate confused by Len's skittishness, "We couldn't find Luka-chan last night so, umm, we came here looking. I, uhh, just had a hunch she'd be here... with you."

Even Luka, who has a friendly relation with each of us in the room, seems uncomfortable. "Uhh, thanks, I guess guys."

The awkward silence continues with none of us having a thing to say. It felt like an eternity until I heard an upstairs door creak open. All four of us turn our attention on the staircase in our line of sight, having nothing else to do. We listen to the delicate footsteps draw closer and start to hear a tune being whistled the closer the footsteps are. Soon we see the figure of Teto on the top of the staircase, prancing around in the morning. She looks up and notices me standing at the foyer, giving her a look a surprise.

"Oh, Rinners! I didn't expect you to be up this early! Aww, I guess I couldn't surprise you with breakfast this morning like I planned..." Teto, pouts, talking solely to me. When she notices the crowd, she calls out, "Oh, we have company?" She inspects the three next to me before exclaiming, "Oh, my! Is that my Lenny-kins? And Kai-kun and Lulu-chan? What are all of you doing here?"

I take the opportunity to answer before any of them could. "Oh, Teto, umm, Luka stayed the night since she was, umm... sick! and Kaito and Len just came to pick her up! I hope you didn't mind!"

Teto gives me an amused expression. "Of course not dear! I haven't seen you guys together in a while! My~! Kai-kun you're so tall now! And you, too Lulu-chan. You really matured, if you know what I mean." Kaito and Luka fidget in Teto's inspection. "And Lenny-kins! All your baby fat went away!" She walks up directly to Len who blushed, redder than a tomato. He only gets redder as Teto pinches his cheek. "But at least your cheeks are still nice and chubby! Your face is still as cute as ever!"

Len gets redder if possible and whines "T-Teto-sannn... Stop itttt..."

Teto doesn't relent and tightens her grip. "Awww... Lenny-kins. You need to stop whining! Rinners, you try squeezing them!"

Lens eyes grow wide as saucers and he starts flailing under Teto. He stammers, still blushing, "N-no, Rin-tan! I-I mean R-Rin-san D-don't t-t-touch!"

I look at the scene in front of me: Teto squeezing Len's face excitedly, usher me to join. Len, red as a cherry, looking helpless and flailing around whining. Luka standing at the sidelines utterly confused. Kaito right next to her just as confused but looking curious as well. And all of a sudden, I'm laughing uncontrollably over the insanity of the scene in front of me. I hear giggles that aren't my own and looks and see that Luka joined in as well. Kaito and Teto join us soon after while Len pouts in the corner once free of Teto's death grip.

With all the commotion happening, Miku, who is in the loft in the room next to us, trudges our way sleepily. She looks up, not fully awake yet and asks, "What's going on here?" She takes a look at Kaito and Len for a minute before a look of disdain comes to her face. "Ugh, more boys. What are they doing here?"

This makes Len stop pouting and answer, "To pick up Luka up. And I think it's time we go."

Teto, not wanting them to go yet, calls out, "Awww... so soon? Why don't you stay for at least breakfast. I'll make a feast since we have so much to catch up on. Come on!"

Just as Len looked like he was going to refuse Teto's offer, Kaito speaks up first. Remaining stationary, he calls out, "Sure we'd love to stay," with a thoughtful grin, shocking Len, Luka, and me.

To say Teto was thrilled is an understatement. She rang out in a sing-song voice, "Okay, then! I'd better start cookin'! Would any of you guys like to help?"

All of us agree quickly, aware that if we didn't we'd be left in the awkward silence we faced before. When we arrive at the kitchen, Luka, our resident cook, asks, "Teto, what will we cook?"

Teto ponders for a minute before emerging with a brilliant smile. "Parfaits! They're easy to make and they're super delicious!"

Len perks up considerably, his eyes growing wide, a big contrast from his previous mopey attitude. "A-a parfait?" He inquires excitedly.

Teto smirks at him. "Yup, your favorite right?"

Len nods ecstatically and jumps up and down like a kid. Luka, Kaito, and I shake our heads bemusedly but for some reason, Miku just stares at Len, deep in thought. Suddenly, her head bolts upright as if she found a revelation. She creeps up behind Len and squeezes his cheek, the same cheek Teto was squeezing moments ago. Len winced in pain. Miku looks at him with a sadistic smile.

"Who would have known? You're a shota!" Len stares at her wide-eyed while Luka bursts out laughing, dropping her collected exterior. Kaito and I join in while Teto let out an amused giggle.

"I-I'm not!" Len retaliates.

Miku stares on, completely amused. "Whatever you say, honey-boo. Now let's start cooking before shota-kun here starts whining."

"Agreed," Teto replies. Despite Len's complaining, we whip up breakfast pretty quickly with all the help. There were more than enough parfaits for everybody, even with Len's huge appetite, not to mention for the very hungry boy surely still sleeping upstairs with the name of Mikuo Hatsune. We placed the food on the table, and took out seats, Miku, Teto and I taking our usual seats and Kaito and Luka sitting next to Teto's two sides. Len was about to take the seat next to Kaito on the far side of the table but Teto called out, "Oh, Lenny, why are you sitting all the way over there. The seat next to Rinners in open. Mikuo-kun won't mind." Len looked apprehensive but by now knows not to object to neither Teto nor Miku. So he took the seat next to me.

Unfortunately though, this was the moment Mikuo Hatsune sped his way to the kitchen, enticed by the smell of food. As soon as their eyes met, disdain flashed through of them, like a bolt of lightning, Mikuo's eyes claiming his territory while Len's defiant. The glaring contest continued until Kei strolled down the steps, slapping Mikuo on the side of his head, positioning for him to move out of his way. Mikuo glared at him before moving into the kitchen, eyes planted on Len. Both boys took a glance at me then at the chair, before Mikuo spoke up. "What is he doing here, in my chair, nonetheless?"

"Eating," Len replied icily, taking a bite from his parfait, his tone defiant and mocking at the same time. Everyone in the table traded questioning glances. I, especially was confused. Why fight over a chair? Which was exactly what I uttered.

"Guys, why fight over something silly like a chair. There are more you can pull up?"

I received amused glances from everyone besides Mikuo and Len. They were still too busy having an imaginary argument. Miku finally let out her signature giggle. "Shota-kun and my idiotic twinnie, huh? This'll be interesting. Especially with Rinny in the middle."

I stare at her for a while with the silence continuing. Finally, Teto got bored of the tranquility and changed the subject. "So, it's nice to have you guys back. I haven't seen you in, like, forever. Why'd you stop visiting my Rinners and me?"

This comment managed to still Luka, Kaito, and I and even distract Len from his feud with Mikuo. The three of them send glances at my direction speaking a thousand words, words I shy away to or try to ignore. Each of those glances are asking me 'Why, why exactly after everything, have I not told anybody?'

I refuse to answer and I'm sure the others would as well. Teto doesn't need to hear. Teto doesn't need to worry about problems we're hiding. Teto doesn't need to think of the kids she helped raised as cruel monsters, or guilty victims. That's what I thought, but to my surprise, someone thought otherwise. "Because we abandoned her." the voice let out steadily. I bolt my head to the speaker shocked and gape at him my own eyes filling with question. Why?

Why Kaito-kun?

His gaze is planted on mine wearing a sincerely remorseful smile. He doesn't notice the looks Luka and Len send him, signalling him to stop, punishing his foolishness, or my expression, one of pure confusion, one of pure fear. He continues, his gaze on me unmovable, "We abandoned her, and only now do we realize what a mistake that was." He then avert his gaze shamefully, inspecting the faces of everyone in the room. He clears his throat nervously as he excuses himself swiftly.

I spring up quickly, determined to follow him, determined to find out what brought that outburst to come out of him. I follow him outside, where the snow is still falling serenely. Before I get the chance to ask, Kaito already starts explaining, his back turned to me.

"Rin-san, I'm a coward. I'm nothing but a coward." He turns around and lets me see his face, wearing a look if pure remorse. "I've been trying so hard to get over my fears though I just can't." He looks at his feet nervously for a moment before facing up once again, this time with a sorry smile. "You, even when you were alone with no one to help you, you got over your fears before me." He laughs a humorless chuckle. "You couldn't imagine how jealous I was of you in the cafe. You stood up to us with no problem. You were so brave... and I was jealous of that."

He takes a long sigh trying to rid of his inner turmoil. "You know how much of a coward I was Rin-san? I was so cowardly that even after I stopped believing all they said about you, I couldn't even tell you because I was too scared of everyone getting mad at me. So I was pathetic enough to let you suffer alone."

He takes a step toward me and squeezes his hands between mine. "I just wish I could have told you sooner about how much we missed you. About how we always have to fake happiness in front of the school. About how it hurts having to pretend to hurt you. About how it's never been the same without you..." Kaito sighs again. "But I didn't. I really didn't expect Luka-chan to be here. I just used that as an excuse to try to talk to you. And even after that, honestly, I wasn't going to tell you today either. I was too scared. But seeing how you let Luka-chan back into your life so willingly, it motivated me. Gave me even a little bit of hope that you'd accept me back. So I promised to get braver, braver for your sake. Brave enough to stay by your side no matter what. But I just ended up looking like an idiot..."

I take a long look at Kaito, my face emotionless and unreachable. I ask him quietly, capriciously "Kaito-kun, what if I told you all of those things said about me were true? Would you still try to stay by my side, knowing that?"

He blinks at me surprised for a moment before answering, "Yes, of course, Rin-san."

Hearing this, my steel mask breaks and I give him a genuine smile. "Then you have nothing to worry about Kaito-kun. You aren't a coward anymore. That's the bravest thing anyone could do for me." With that said, I swivel facing inside once again. "Now let's go. We wouldn't want Len-kun and Mikuo to finish all the food!"

Kaito just follows me and laughs. "Okay, Rin-san."

Before we knew it, our meal ended, and soon, Len's complaints of wanting to go home reached everyone's limit and the three individuals were on their way home. Even after I finished saying my farewells and even after Teto, Miku, Mikuo, and Kei returned back into the house to sadly prepare for our upcoming third trimester, I still remained outside staring at the backs of my former friends, friends who I regained. And it's only then do I accept that my worst fear is happening; that my past really is coming back. But I think in my head Am I still scared? I use the same concept I used in Kaito. If it did come back, would I be able to accept it? I smile, realizing I already made my answer. Yes.


A/N: I know I suck, I suck so much! I atcually started typing since Monday but couldn't finish until now! Really, TsundereMe? 2 weeks? Thank you to all of those who had to hear me mope about my writer's block DX! Especially after you guys just made me reach a 100. But really, I couldn't think of any dialogue for Len and Kaito! Ugh! Yeah, I really do write girls better. But now, I'm just glad I finished! But expect this sort of thing in chapter 12. Just... expect it. Sorry if this was so awkward. Next chapter'll be a sinch once get motivation. But anyway, I have a new poll on my profile, please vote! There, I'm done. R&R!

P.S.: OMG, I know all you probably don't wanna know what I've been doing when I was procrastinating but seriously, I have to tell you! I've been playing an AMAZING Visual Nover made by zevia called X-Note. Really, I'm in love with it! Y'all should really play it! I don't care if you buy it or download it, just play! Or if you're not into that stuff or don't want to waste money, iLen-Rin (one of my fav writers) is dubbing it in ! That way, you can listen to the amazing story without the hassle or reading with great voice acting to match! Seriously, just check out the dub AND game! The channel for it is called XNoteDub. Easy right? Don't forget to subscribe XD!