Sorry for the delay. More of that real life shenanigans...

As always, much love for ilex-ferox, the beta to end all betas.


Chapter Eleven: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

After getting N°1 safely on his way back to Qwan, Commander Kelp decides that he needs five minutes to be just Trouble.

Deftly avoiding multiple interested parties, he slips off to the Ops Booth. The centaur inside buzzes him in without comment. Trouble sinks into one of the padded chairs gratefully, watching Foaly trawl through four monitors of Centaurian computer coding simultaneously. In the dim room, the blue-green glow of the script reflects off the walls like light seen from underwater.

Trouble shakes his head. With his incessant dramatics and constant wisecracks, he sometimes forgets how brilliant Foaly really is. It always comes as a bit of a shock when he remembers.

'What's it like to be married, Foaly?' the elf asks suddenly, his voice loud in the silent, watery air of the booth

'Hmm? Married?' Foaly reaches forward, tapping one of the monitors. Three windows bloom on the screen like jellyfish coming up from the deep. 'It's wonderful.'

'No, I mean, aside from being wonderful. Does it make you look at things differently or feel different or...' Trouble shrugs, not really sure what he's trying to say.

'Sure it does.' With one hairy finger, Foaly drags two of his newly opened windows across the monitor until they reappear in the next one over. 'You're thinking for two people aren't you? It's not just about you anymore.'

'Does that ever bother you?'

'No,' Foaly says, typing something on his virtual keypad. 'Well, I mean, I guess it would if you didn't like the person you were married to. But I love Caballine. Making her happy's even better than making myself happy.' Suddenly Foaly seems to realise what he's saying. He swivels his chair to face Trouble, script crawling down the left side of his face like hundreds of glowing nudibranchs. 'What's this all about? You thinking of getting hitched, Commander?'

Trouble shakes his head. 'Not anymore.'

Foaly raises an eyebrow. 'Not anymore? What changed?'

'Her species,' Trouble replies.

'Ah,' says Foaly, tactfully refraining from gaping and spluttering. 'I didn't realise you... felt that strongly about Holly.'

'She's not really someone you can have wishy-washy feelings towards,' Trouble shrugs. 'You either love her or you hate her.'

Foaly nods. 'But not everyone who loves her wants to marry her,' he points out.

'Well, I guess I feel even stronger than most about her, don't I?' he rises to leave.

'I'm sorry, Trouble,' Foaly says as the Commander reaches for the doorknob. 'I really am.'

'Thanks, Foaly, but save your pity. There are others who need it more.' With that, Commander Kelp returns to duty, back straight and chin high.

Foaly shakes his head. Recon jocks. Why couldn't they just accept that everyone needs a hug sometimes?

He fiddles with a control, pulling up his surveillance network at Fowl Manor. He watches as Holly sits on the front steps, talking to Artemis, a smile taking up half her face. Others might need his pity more but he has the feeling that, right at this moment, Holly Short isn't one of them.


The blood work is finished, the results sitting on her desk. Minerva sips from a glass of lemonade, savouring the moment. After all he did to thwart her when she last meddled with demons, she can't believe Artemis let her walk away so easily this time. For goodness' sake, he nearly handed her this opportunity on a platter.

Minerva frowns suddenly - she knows what she is going to do it will disappoint Butler. And she does care for the massive bodyguard, just not enough to pass up on this chance; this chance of a Nobel Prize that should have been hers four years ago; this chance to show Artemis Fowl exactly what she is capable of. And his admiration will be almost as sweet as her revenge.

So she hasn't got a live demon this time. Surely the ability to change from human to demon - or elf, as the case may be - and back again, will more than suffice. Finally that Holly girl will be of some use to her.

And Artemis just let her walk away. She chuckles to herself, licking her lips in anticipation.


The next morning, Holly wakes up just past eleven to breakfast in bed. She blinks at the abundance of food before her. 'What's all this about?' she asks Juliet, who sprawls beside her, munching strawberries off Holly's plate.

'I thought we'd celebrate. Dom phoned this morning, told me about your new job. And that Minerva was in town yesterday,' Juliet waggles her eyebrows.

Holly rolls her eyes. 'Thanks for breakfast, Juliet.'

'You're welcome. Now spill: how was London?'

Holly points eloquently to her full mouth.

'You can't chew forever, Holly. And when you're done, I'll still be here.'

Holly swallows, sighing. 'London was fine. Busy. Noisy. Full of people, grime and taxis. I didn't really see much, we were mostly at lectures after all.'

'And Minerva? How was that?'

'What did Butler say?'

'Several choice words,' Juliet laughs.

'I don't like her,' Holly shrugs. 'And I don't like the way she goes after Artemis.'

'Oh?'

Holly looks Juliet in the eyes and gives a half smile, 'To be fair, I wouldn't like the way anyone went after Artemis.'

'Aha!' Juliet claps delightedly. 'Well, if that isn't progress! In a couple of years you two might even start holding hands in public. Who knows! The possibilities are endless.'

'Buzz off, Juliet.' Holly lobs a grape at the girl; Juliet catches it in her mouth. 'Show off,' Holly mutters.

'You betcha. Now, finish your breakfast, we're going to go up and lie on the roof. It is beautiful outside!'

Breakfast, a shower, and a change of clothes later, they finally make it to the roof; and, stepping out into the sun, Holly can't help a delighted 'Ah!'. Though the view is mainly high-rises, the sky above them is blue, with the occasional picture-book cloud scudding past.

'You were right, Juliet,' she goes to the edge standing, hands on hips, to look out over the city, 'it is beautiful out here!'

Juliet flops into her deck-chair. 'Simple pleasures, Holly. That's what being human is all about. And we gotta take 'em where we can get 'em. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some serious sunbathing to do. Unless you've got any more juicy gossip to share?'

Holly laughs, unfolding her own deck-chair and donning her enormous bug-glasses. 'I love him, Juliet,' she says, almost casually, as she sits down.

'Any new gossip, I meant.'

Holly chucks her book at Juliet's stomach. 'That I'm okay with it, is what I'm trying to say. That I don't mind anymore.'

Juliet peeks out from under her sunglasses. 'Really?'

Holly nods, smiling. 'Yeah.' Then she chuckles, 'You've no idea what it's like to finally admit that out loud.'

'I can imagine,' Juliet slides her sunglasses back down. 'I just hope he doesn't mess it up.'

'Oh, I have complete faith in the fact that he's going to mess it up royally. Many, many times.' Holly retrieves her book, 'He's going to drive me up the wall. But I'm pretty sure I'll return the favour.'

Juliet laughs. 'Better you than me, honey. But,' she looks over at Holly again, 'I am happy for you, yeah? And, as always, if you ever need any help...'

'I'll holler,' Holly smiles.

'That's my girl.'


'We,' Juliet straightens, extricating her head from the refrigerator, 'officially have no food. It's time to hit the grocery stores, Holly.'

Holly is sitting upside down on the sofa, reading the paper. Propping herself up on her elbows, she looks at Juliet from above her legs dangling over the back of the couch. 'Do we both have to go?'

'Have you ever been grocery shopping above ground?'

'No-o,' admits Holly reluctantly. Between the food they brought with them from the Manor, the trip to London and her own apathetic eating habits, there hadn't been any call for it yet.

'Well then, yes, we both have to go.' Juliet rummages for her keys in a bowl of odds and ends on the table, pricking herself on a pin and sucking on her finger, resorting to searching one handed. Finally successful, she gestures to the door with the keys, her finger still in her mouth.

'Alright, alright,' Holly clambers to her feet and goes to pull on her shoes.

It's the after work rush-hour on the streets of Dublin; mothers in suits pick their children up from daycare, men in heavy work boots lug grocery bags through the parking lots, boys still half in uniform push bikes alongside girls wearing too much sparkly lip-gloss, hair still pulled back under their regulation berets.

Holly and Juliet move through the crowded pavements with more ease than most, people-watching unashamedly.

'Look there!'

'Where?

'The little old lady at the bus stop. Bright orange jacket.'

'Omigosh, bright orange fake fur jacekt? That is too awesome. She must be nearly ninety.'

'Well, she's gotta live it up while she can.'

'I hope my sense of style is that bonkers when I'm ninety. Being the crazy old lady at the end of the block has always held a certain appeal to me.'

'It would,' Holly laughs.

Pushing open the doors of the supermarket, Holly is unprepared for the gale force air-conditioning.

'It's glacial in here!' she manages through chattering teeth, 'I didn't realise I'd have to bring a parka!'

Juliet snickers. 'You get used to it.'

'Do they get this excited with the air conditioning in the winter too?'

'Are you crazy? No way, they crank the heat up. You'll sweat buckets.'

Holly shakes her head in amazement. 'You people are so weird.'

'It's part of our charm,' Juliet winks. 'Now, where the heck are the trolleys? Aha!'

'Hey, I've seen these before!' Holly taps the cart Juliet nabbed from a passing sales boy. 'They're always lying around half stuck in bushes. I didn't realise they had a purpose.'

Juliet cracks up. 'You mean they don't have shopping-trolleys in Haven?'

'Not like this - they're remote controlled. And much more streamlined. Why are these always in bushes, anyway?'

Her companion shrugs. 'Kids grab 'em and run around with them, homeless people use them to cart their stuff around in. Various reasons.'

'Huh,' Holly eyes the trolley once more, then looks up towards the narrow grocery aisles. 'Is it even going to fit down there?'

'With a lot of skill and a little bit of luck, it should do. Cross your fingers.'

Holly shakes her head at this – yet another example of human short-sightedness. How had these Mud Men ever managed to take over the world? They could barely design supermarkets for Frond's sake.

'And now, get ready for your very own guided tour of the produce section,' Juliet offers Holly her arm. 'Shall we?'

'With pleasure.'

In truth, there is very little pleasure involved. Between pesticides, foreign imports and plastic packaging, the grocery store is an environmentalist's nightmare: and very nearly a personal hell for Holly, despite her lack of heightened elfin senses.

'But you can't tell there're pesticides on them anymore,' Juliet points out as they eye the red peppers.

'But I still know they're there. And that grosses me out. You're eating poison.'

'You've eaten take out for heaven's sake. Do you have any idea how crap that is for you?'

'Ye-ah,' Holly fiddles with the hem of her shirt. 'I dunno... it's just – it's different, looking at them sitting here like this. It's like when you guys buy a hamburger, you don't think twice about where it came from, but if someone gave you an axe and a cow and told you to go for it – well, that's different isn't it? I mean, it shouldn't be, but it is.'

Juliet sighs. 'Let's go look at the organic section. And next time, we're going straight to the Manor and getting our veggies from the gardeners. They've more than enough for the family and staff.'

When Holly opens her mouth to protest Juliet quickly points out that the Fowl vegetables would not only be all organic but also local. Holly gives in.

'Wait ! What about nettles?' Holly asks when they – finally - head for the check out. 'We didn't get any nettles.'

'Nettles?' Juliet frowns.

'Yeah, you know, triangular leaves, they sting you when they're fresh. High in iron. I practically live off nettle smoothies at home.'

'Ohh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the plant you mean. 'Fraid we don't eat too many nettles up here, they're kind of considered a weed,' Juliet laughs at Holly's flabbergasted expression. 'Don't worry, they grow wild nearly everywhere. I'm sure if you flutter your eyelashes at Rupert he'll have someone pick you some from the Manor grounds.'

'Rupert?'

'The Head Gardener.'

'Oh. Do you really think so?'

'Sure, he's a great guy. And fond of a pretty face,' Juliet winks.

Holly laughs, digging out her wallet to ready her change for the cashier. She has so many of those ridiculous little one eurocent pieces she could tile the front of Fowl Manor.


A week after the London conference, Butler sits across from Minerva, eyeing the chess board between them. 'I don't really see the point in continuing,' he remarks, moving his bishop, 'when we both know I lost at least three moves ago.'

'Do you stop a film halfway simply because you've already guessed the end?' Minerva asks.

'No,' Butler admits, 'but you do.'

The girl giggles. 'True. Check mate.'

'At least it was a quick demise,' Butler smiles.

'I try to be compassionate,' the girls dimples. The rain drums a tattoo on the Manor's stained glass windows and the dim light from outside spreads their colours across the floor, ending at Minerva's chair.

'Don't you want to see Artemis?' Butler asks.

The girl shrugs. 'If he wants to see me. But, after London, I realised it has been so long since I'd spent any time with you. And we were friends before, weren't we? For goodness' sake, you started reading fiction for me!' she laughs, then sobers. 'And I... well, you know how we are. We don't make friends easily.'

Butler reaches forward, patting her cheek. 'I'm flattered,' he says. 'And I'm sure Artemis will be glad to see you when he gets back.'

'Where is he, exactly?' Minerva sips her hot chocolate. 'Off swindling money from hardened Mafia kings?'

'Would I be here if he were?' Butler shakes his head. 'No, he and Holly are in town, doing a series of MRI scans. He has some sort of Graft vs. Host theory. I'm afraid I don't really understand it.'

'MRI scans for Graft vs. Host?' Minerva frowns. 'That doesn't make sense at all. This is for Holly's transformation?'

'Yes,' Butler refills her cup, 'Artemis is trying to find a way of reversing the process.'

'Is he?' Minerva blinks. 'He didn't do it himself then?'

'Oh God, no. A pixie with too much brain and too little sanity had a grudge to settle with them and concocted some crazy serum out of blood and magic and I don't know what else. N°1 brought some over the other day - it looks like a bottle of tomato juice that's gone off. They're running tests on that too. Anyway, long story short, that's how Holly ended up the way she is.'

'Blood?' Minerva wrinkles her pretty little nose. 'Ick, Holly didn't have to swallow it did she?'

'No, Opal shot her with it.'

Minerva shudders delicately. 'How awful.'

'Mmm,' Butler murmurs non-committally. Minerva realises she may be overdoing it.

'Well,' she continues, letting a little of her natural dislike for Holly seep into her voice, 'at least she's thick-skinned. I'm sure she'll get over it. Artemis certainly seems to have complete faith in her.'

Butler laughs, soothed by the return of Minerva's animosity. 'She'll be alright, that's for certain.'

Minerva decides that that is enough for today.


Holly and Artemis return just as Minerva is preparing to leave.

'Minerva,' Artemis blinks in unaccustomed surprise. 'I didn't realise you were visiting.'

The girl shrugs, pulling her hair out of the way of her jacket's buttons. 'I came by to see Butler,' she gestures to the big man behind her.

'Oh.' Artemis opens his mouth to say more when Myles comes running into the hall.

'Holly!' his small, pale face lights up to see her. 'You're back! Will you come listen to the Vivaldi now? I mean, if you aren't busy that is,' he shoots Artemis a quick frown.

Artemis shakes his head. He really needs to teach Myles a thing or two about subtlety. Minerva files this encounter away for further use.

Holly shrugs. 'Sure, Myles, I've definitely got a few minutes.' The boy is starting to grow on her. He reminds her of his older brother, but innocent and open. She likes to think that Artemis would have been like this if things had gone differently. Spending time with Myles is sort of like spending time with Artemis, but without the complications.

Artemis raises his eyebrows. 'Surely you don't have to go quite so soon, Minerva? If you've come all this way, why don't you stay for dinner?'

Holly's lips thin. Minerva beams. She knows she's being used but it doesn't bother her. Who knows, she might even be able to use him in return. Shooting Holly a syrupy smile, she follows Artemis upstairs.

Holly rolls her eyes, calling in Gnommish after Artemis' retreating back, 'Jealous of a five year old? Are you serious?'

Artemis doesn't dignify this with a reply. Growling faintly, Holly turns on her heel and storms after Myles.

'I take it things didn't go well at the hospital?' Butler asks the empty hall.


As Myles rosins his bow, fitting the half sized Tononi under his chin, Holly watches the summer storm turn the outside world into shades of grey and green. He begins the piece, the music only adding to the otherworldly atmosphere of the rain. Underneath the boy's flawless playing she can hear the rushing, rhythmic sound of water hitting the earth. She lets her vision slide out of focus.

'I dunno,' Foaly's wispy beard flutters as he gnaws on a beet, 'this whole thing sounds kind of iffy.'

Artemis nearly growls. 'Obviously it sounds iffy. It is iffy. This whole dilemma is iffy.'

Foaly eyes the boy for a moment. He has hacked into the hospital's network and is talking to Artemis via one of the computers in the booth, while Holly lies under the scanner.

'I mean your plan sounds iffy. Iffy like it never had a hope in a dwarf's jaws of working out and you always knew it. Are you having second thoughts, Fowl?'

'I'm long past second thoughts, Foaly. I'm into double digits already.'

'She's gonna rumble you one of these days,' Foaly tells him.

'Thank you for the show of support,' Artemis mutters.

'Just saying,' Foaly shrugs.

'Are the results coming through clearly?' the teen asks, switching off the scanner and tapping the glass to let Holly know she's done.

'As clearly as your antiquated machines can get them,' Foaly confirms.

'Excellent. Now, any ideas?'

Foaly shakes his head, rolling his eyes. 'Artemis, there are no abnormalities. Her brain's as human as yours is. We'd stand as much chance of re-stimulating your chef's magical abilities as hers. You don't need to put on a show for me. Just tell her.'

'I don't know what you're talking about,' Artemis replies archly, 'there's always the chance -'

'Yes, that one in a million chance. Well, looks like today's your lucky day, Mud Boy; usually with you that chance comes back to bite you in the ass,' Foaly snaps back.

Artemis shrugs, looking away, towards the door, so that Foaly can't see his triumphant smile. Unfortunately, Holly is entering the booth at exactly that same moment. Artemis' brief moment of joy is replaced by dread and his smile freezes on his face.

'You could have just called me over the PA system, you know,' Holly tells him, 'it's been on the entire time.'

'Ohhh d'Arvit,' Foaly, unbeknownst to its occupants, is watching the events in the booth via the security camera in the far corner. He looks from Holly to Artemis and back again. 'Err, I gotta run guys, talk to you soon!'

Neither Artemis nor Holly is paying attention to him anyway.

'Before you accuse me of anything,' Artemis stands slowly, not wanting to make any sudden movements, 'I am here, aren't I? We are trying.'

'Yeah, real hard, as I've just learnt,' Holly spits.

'Holly, be reasonable. Would Foaly let me get away with anything else?'

'Foaly doesn't really have control of the situation, does he? He comes up with his theories, you come up with yours. Or not, as the case may be.'

'I came up with this one, didn't I?'

But Holly has known him too long. 'How much do you think I'm willing to bet that you came up with "this one" for the sole purpose of making me feel better?' A sudden thought strikes her as she warms to her subject, 'Why else have such a long, involved conversation about it where I could hear you? You could have waited until you were somewhere more comfortable. You knew this wouldn't work from the start!'

'There is no way I could possibly have known that.' Fair enough, he'd had his suspicions - well, okay, alright, if he is honest, the plan had been patently ludicrous, but it had sounded impressive enough. She would have fallen for it hook, line and sinker if not for that bloody PA system. And there had always been the chance it would have worked.

'Artemis-' Holly strangles the air in front of her, 'Artemis, we were doing so well. Finally I had... d'Arvit, Artemis, why do you always have to bugger things up just when you've gained my trust? You had me in the palm of your d'Arvitting hand - and now this. Every time I try to trust you, you turn around and mess it all up!'

'Holly-'

'No! Shut up and listen for once. Frond, that's the worst part! I want to trust you. That's what really gets me. That I could ever, possibly, want to trust a thieving, lying, self-centred – Argh!' she turns, slamming the door of the booth behind her as she leaves.

'Holly? Ho-olly?' Myles waves a hand in front of her face. 'What did you think?'

'Oh! Myles!' Holly returns to the present with a snap. 'It was beautiful, kid, it really was. I was all caught up. You're a fantastic player.' She leans forward, patting his head as she rises from her chair.

'You weren't paying attention, were you?' It's more of a statement than a question.

Holly sighs. 'I was, I just... I've got a lot on my mind.'

'Artemis?'

'What else?' Holly admits.

'Of course,' the boy turns away, loosening his bow, preparing to pack away the instrument. 'Well, you'd better go find him then.'

'Myles...' Holly's shoulders slump. Frond, I can't make anyone happy these days. 'Myles, it was really nice. Honestly. And it was sweet of you to play it for me. Next time, I'll be a better audience, I promise. Heck, if I can, I'll come to your next recital, okay?'

'Really?' the boy brightens immediately.

'If I can,' Holly cautions.

He smiles, brown eyes crinkling at the corners.

Holly had been intending to stay for dinner. Leaving Myles behind in the conservatory, she decides that dinner with the Fowls is possibly the last thing in the world she wants to do right now. Given the choice, at this moment she might even take getting mauled by hungry trolls. It's a close call.

Luckily, she doesn't need to make that choice. Grabbing the keys for the Yaris they'd used that day, she heads down the garage. Unlocking the boot, she digs out her wing rig. The only problem with these wings, she decides as she shrugs into the harness, is that half of the times the I use them I'm trying to get away from Artemis, whom they inevitably remind me of. D'Arvit, what was I - born on Celestial Celebrate Irony Day? For Frond's sake.

She retraces her steps to the entrance hall, leaving the keys on one of the tables. Opening the front door she pauses for a moment, resigning herself to her inevitable drenching, before taking off into the hazy, grey sky.


Myles watches Holly fly out into the rain, his soft child's face pinched into a disapproving frown. Slowly, he turns and climbs up the stairs. Standing in the first floor corridor he pauses and, instead of going to his room, turns towards his brother's.

He knocks, entering to find Artemis alone at his desk frowning into space and toying with a stoppered vial filled with a sludge like substance the colour of old blood. Artemis tucks the vial away into an inner drawer of his desk as Myles approaches. Before it disappears from sight, however, Myles is sure that he sees a blue light appear from its depths and spark against the glass of the vial.

'What can I do for you, Myles?' Artemis asks, face shuttered, voice even.

'Where's your friend?' asks Myles.

'Gone to fetch Butler, she'll be back in a moment if you wish to speak to her.'

'No, I don't. I was just curious.' Myles shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

'You know, Myles, I've been meaning to speak to you.'

'Oh?' The word comes out too accusatory for Myles' liking.

'Mm hmm. About Holly.'

'What about Holly?' This time his tone is too defensive.

Artemis licks his lips. 'Try to be a little more subtle, would you? No good ever comes of everyone knowing exactly how you feel.'

'Really?' Myles raises an eyebrow. 'And I suppose a lot of good comes from no one knowing that you care at all?'

Artemis frowns at his younger brother. 'What are you talking about?'

'You should be nicer to her,' Myles says it bluntly. 'She doesn't care about me and I know it. I just remind her of you.' His tiny hands ball into fists at his side. 'You have everything, you know that? Intelligence, Mother's preference, Holly – and you treat all of it as though it's nothing. You should take better care of what you have.' The boy swallows, leaning forward in his excitement. 'So what if everyone knows I like Holly? I'm not ashamed of it. Why should I be? She's better than you'll ever be!'

Artemis watches, bemused, as the boy before him works himself into a tantrum. He's never thought of himself as the lucky sibling before now. 'You're right,' he agrees mildly. 'She is.'

'Moreover, you – pardon me?' Myles blinks, his train of thought derailed.

'I said you're right - I should take better care of what I have.' Artemis stares hard at the boy before him. 'After all, it wouldn't do for it to fall into the wrong hands, now would it?'

Myles' lips thin. 'No,' he agrees at length, knowing exactly whose hands his brother is talking about.


At Holly's knock, Juliet pokes her head around the kitchen cabinets and, giving her a baffled look, comes to open the sliding doors. Holly steps in off the balcony, shoulders drooping and the rest of her dripping.

'Holly, are you okay? You look terrible. Get those wings off, I'll find you a towel,' Juliet moves away, vaulting over the couch in her hurry.

Slowly, Holly undoes the harness, but her brain is as drenched as her body and she holds the sopping wings in front of her, unable to come up with a suitable location for them. Luckily, she has someone there to think for her.

'Here, give those to me, I'll ditch them in the bath,' Juliet reappears with an armful of fluffy towels. 'Go get out of those clothes and dry off. You're going to get sick otherwise.'

'I've never been sick before,' Holly comments listlessly.

'Well, there's a first time for everything, now go.'

Holly goes. A few minutes later she emerges from her room, dry and dressed in what is universally recognisable as I-feel-like-shit-wear. Her t-shirt is faded, hanging down over sweat pants that end halfway along her feet.

Juliet rolls her eyes. 'What did he do this time?'

Holly gives a weak smile. 'Is it that obvious?'

'Holly,' hand on hip, Juliet gestures with the ladle she's using for their dinner, 'all you need is a box of chocolates and you could be the broken-hearted heroine of just about any Hollywood romcom. Now, what did Artemis do?'

Holly flops onto the couch and tells Juliet about her disastrous visit to the hospital.

'Were you really expecting anything else?' Juliet hands her a bowl of aubergine moussaka. 'I mean, honestly now.'

'No,' Holly admits, 'but I really wanted to be proved wrong.'


A few days later, Holly makes her way to the bathroom, yawning and stretching. She pauses for a moment to stand in front of the sliding doors, enjoying the sun on her cheeks. As she turns she sees, out of the corner of her eye, someone come out of the bathroom. Someone who isn't Juliet.

To be honest, Holly doesn't really remember the next few seconds. However it happened, she finds herself on top of a thin, gangly red-head with more freckles than face, with her knee digging into his solar plexus.

'Oh... God...' gasps the red-head. 'Can't... breathe...'

Holly realises then that this isn't some crazy cat burglar.

'Oh shit,' she scrambles to her feet, 'I am so sorry. I didn't even think; you scared the shit out of me.'

The redhead looks up at her from the floor, vaguely incredulous. 'Ditto,' he coughs out.

'Here, let me help you up,' Holly holds out a hand which he takes hesitantly, 'I'm really sorry.'

Standing, the man is a good fifty centimetres taller than Holly and all elbows and knees, though clearly past his teens. His hair is thick and bright red, standing up in all directions.

Sheepishly, he rubs the bridge of his long nose, 'Actually, I probably should have been expecting that. You're Holly, right? Juliet told me you're a bodyguard and jump at small noises.'

Just as sheepish, Holly shrugs one shoulder. 'Yeah... I guess I can be a bit... err, jumpy. And we don't usually, well, have guests this early. And, err, yes, I'm Holly. You're...?'

'Oh! Sorry, I'm Arthur. Arthur Flanagan. I'm, err, Juliet and I...' he blushes brighter than his hair.

Holly smiles despite herself. 'Nice to meet you,' she holds out a hand to him. 'Usually, I make better first impressions than this, honest.'

He shakes her hand enthusiastically. 'Hey, I spend the night at the home of a professional wrestler and a bodyguard, what do I expect?'

Holly laughs. He is so thin and fragile looking. Juliet could break him in half before he had the chance to blink. 'I'm just gonna go brush my teeth, but can I get you anything? There's cereal in the cupboard by the 'fridge and we've got fruit for smoothies if you want one.'

'I... er, thanks.'

'Anytime. I'll be right back, make yourself at home.'

Holly comes back to find Arthur standing in the middle of their tiny kitchen looking very much not at home. She gets the feeling he doesn't spend much time in other people's kitchens.

'I'll put the kettle on, do you want tea? I'm afraid neither of us drink coffee so there's none in the house...'

'Tea would be great,' Arthur says, thankful to be taken in hand.

'Or – wait - what about a smoothie? We get our fruit from the Fowl's orchard so it's all organic. Well, I mean, our bananas are imported, but still organic! Or cereal?' Holly feels like a broken record, but she wants to make him feel comfortable while still feeling awkward herself.

'I'll have whatever you're having,' Arthur bites his lip, really not wanting to be a burden.

Holly smiles at him, 'Smoothies it is then. I'm no Juliet in the kitchen, but I do make a killer smoothie.'

Arthur laughs. 'Hey, I boil water better than anyone you've ever met.'

'Between the two of us then, we've got it made.'

'Seems like it,' Arthur fiddles with rim of the counter.

They're silent for a moment.

'Er.... so,' Holly breaks two bananas into the blender, 'how long have you and Juliet been together? You'll pardon me saying so, but you don't exactly seem like one-night stand material.'

Arthur laughs self-consciously. 'That'd be because I'm not. I'd say a month and a half now.'

'A month and a half?' Holly nearly slices herself instead of the strawberry she's cutting. 'Why hasn't she told me?'

'Because she thought happy, gushing couple might not be exactly what you wanted to hear about these days,' Juliet replies, coming into the living room. 'I hope you're making enough for three, Holly.'

Holly gets out another banana. 'I can't believe you didn't tell me! I nearly knocked him unconscious!' Holly waves her knife for emphasis and Arthur backs up against the counter.

'What! Why?'

'He surprised me,' Holly shrugs.

Juliet blinks. Then explodes into laughter. 'What did you think he was? A mass murderer? Arthur?'

'I didn't really think about it too much, just knocked him down. As I recall, that's always been your preferred method: shoot first, ask questions later.'

Juliet is too busy laughing to retort.

Holly rolls her eyes and turns the blender on as Arthur helps the giggling Juliet up onto the counter beside him.

'So,' Holly slurps her drink a minute later, 'where did you two meet?'

'We're studying Spanish together,' Arthur replies. 'I'm an Art History major but I'm specialising in South American art so I thought I should learn the language.'

'He's in night courses with me,' Juliet clarifies, 'so that he can skip straight into third year Spanish in September.'

'Ah,' Holly sips from her smoothie, her thoughts wandering to men who skip straight into Masters Degrees, never mind third year undergrad.

Arthur leaves soon after breakfast, and the two girls eye each other across the flat.

Juliet clears her throat, 'Penny for your thoughts.'

'I'm trying to figure out why we both go for nerds,' Holly replies truthfully. 'I wouldn't have pegged him as your type.'

'Why not?' Juliet is indignant on Arthur's behalf. 'He's wonderful!'

'Oh no, I think he's great. I mean, he took nearly being killed really quite well. Very gentlemanly. Just, you know, I think even Artemis could out run him.'

'Yeah, well, I can out run you. It evens out.'

Holly laughs, 'Fair enough. I just don't get why we go for people we could beat up. I mean, it's not like we're big on domestic violence or something.'

Juliet cocks her head to the side. 'You have got a point. But Arthur is nothing like Artemis. He's nice. He doesn't have a manipulative bone in his body.'

'Frond, you were right about the gushing couple thing,' Holly makes a face before smiling. 'But seriously, Juliet, I like him. He seems kind. You're lucky.'

Juliet smiles wryly. 'Don't worry, I know exactly how lucky I am.'