Chapter Eleven: Taste
A/N: A huge thanks to everyone who's been so patient with this story! Uni was really hectic, but it's over now until next year and with Mockingjay Part 2 coming out, I hope to update both this and Secrets In My Skin more regularly.
This chapter does have some important stuff in it, although it may not seem like it until later ;) Also, a warning that next chapter will have an M rating for a sex scene, but I'm not telling who the people involved will be, so...you'll have to guess.
It was strange to think how much things had changed. This time last year, Miri was awaiting the 72nd Hunger Games with great excitement and anticipation. But this year, the thought of the 73rd Hunger Games brought about only a feeling of dread. She was not looking forward to seeing tributes being slaughtered, to pretending she was watching with avid interest. For that was what it meant to be a Capitolian, and it seemed that there were few who shared Miri's distaste for the Games.
The only thing that thrilled her was the prospect of seeing Finnick Odair once again. It was silly, that she could feel affection for a young man she hadn't seen in months. But Finnick was one of the few people who understood her. Although she could never understand his pain – and quite frankly, didn't want to – she liked to think that she was the Capitolian he was the closest with. Only now, her engagement and upcoming marriage to Cobryn threatened to extinguish that connection.
"You're thinking about him again." Ithaca's sing-song voice rang out in the garden, and Miri turned to glare at her. Of course, anyone overhearing their conversation would assume she was referring to Cobryn, but both girls knew better. The dark-haired girl sauntered over to sit beside her friend, and for a few moments, the only sound was the peaceful trickle of water spilling into the fountain.
Miri shook her head slowly. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Sure you do," Ithaca was oddly chirpy. She disliked the match between her brother and Miri almost as much as Miri did herself. The two had become surprisingly close, as Miri realised Caesar Flickerman's daughter was not nearly as shallow as many of the other Capitolian girls she had once thought of as friends. She was a dark horse, a refreshing breath of air in an otherwise stifling environment. She was probably the only person who brought Miri sanity.
"What's there to say?" Miri raked a hand through her blonde hair. She was excited about seeing Finnick, but knew it would be fleeting. He ventured to the Capitol from time to time, but as that was normally on business, there was no guarantee she would even see him. Miri was busy too – her engagement to Cobryn Flickerman, her father being the Head Gamemaker…it meant she was forced to attend many social events, forced to smile and act like she cared.
"I can help, you know." Ithaca's tone became somewhat reproachful, before she leaned close to the fountain and swirled her fingers in the crystal clear water. "You honestly don't think I've never had to cover for Mum when she's been sleeping with Victors?"
"You know?" Miri blurted out, blue eyes widening in shock. It had been no secret to her that Aurelia Flickerman had sex with Victors – Finnick had bluntly told her so – but she was shocked to realise that Ithaca was perfectly aware of her mother's habits.
"Please," Ithaca scoffed. "I'm not stupid. Once Mum realised that I knew, I started helping her come up with excuses. I can do the same for you, when Finnick's here. If you want to spend time with him alone and don't want Cobryn or your grandfather making a big deal…"
The implication was clear, and Miri found it deliciously tempting. Ithaca was a trusted Capitolian girl, and if she said something, people would believe it. If she gave excuses for Miri, even Obadiah would be hard-pressed to accuse her of being a liar. She chewed at her lip, weighing the odds. If Aurelia had never been caught, there was very little chance that she would be. Besides, it wasn't even as though she and Finnick were going to be doing…that. The thought made her cheeks flame with heat.
"I'll think about it."
Ithaca knew things that Miri didn't even know about herself. If she hadn't pressed about Finnick, Miri wouldn't have discovered what she was coming to terms with: it alarmed her, but she had feelings for him. Of course, so did every Capitolian girl. She doubted there was a woman without at least a slight crush on Finnick. But it wasn't possible, for he would never feel the same way. She would force herself to be content with Cobryn, busy herself with their upcoming wedding…for now.
Miri was still deep in thought when she returned to the apartment – so deep in thought, in fact, that she swung open her dad's door without knocking and immediately froze. The two people in the bed – her dad, and a blonde woman – scrambled to cover themselves as Miri's mouth dropped open into a gape. Immediately, she turned and fled, heart hammering in her chest. She had not wanted to walk in on her dad in bed with someone.
Heading into the kitchen, she grabbed herself a tub of sorbet and a spoon. It was something Obadiah had scolded her for in the past, eating the sorbet straight from the tub. However on this occasion, she thought she was allowed to do such a thing, because it was either that or gouge her eyes out. Her hands were shaking, purely from the shock of what she'd witnessed.
A few minutes passed – judging by the amount of sorbet she'd eaten – before Seneca cautiously followed his teenage daughter into the kitchen. He was dressed, but his hair was still untamed, a far cry from his usual gelled look. The blonde woman lingered in the hall, but now Miri could see her clearly. She was in her mid-thirties, and stunning. She cast an uncertain glance at Seneca, who nodded abruptly at her. The silent communication between them obviously meant something, because the blonde woman swept from the apartment without a backwards glance.
"I'm sorry." Seneca scratched at his beard, looking quite embarrassed. "I thought you were out with Ithaca, I didn't realise you'd be home…"
"Is she a Victor?" Miri inquired bluntly, meeting her father's gaze. The excruciating awkwardness of walking in on her dad being intimate was gone, replaced with something much more urgent. Perhaps Aurelia Flickerman wasn't the only Capitolian she knew by name who was using Victor courtesans. She had known about him and her mother, but the fact that it was still happening.
"Her name is Amethyst Divine." Seneca couldn't meet her gaze. "Yes, she's a Victor from District 1."
Miri didn't say anything. She turned her spoon in the sorbet, over and over again. There was an itchy lump in her throat and she didn't really know why. Seneca kneeled beside her, taking the spoon from her fingers. Miri glanced at him to see that his blue eyes were solemn.
"Miri…I know it's hard to understand. But sometimes, people do desperate things when they crave affection, when they're lonely. We all make mistakes, but sometimes we just don't learn from them."
"Mistakes like me," Miri said bitterly, pushing herself to her feet and walking over to dump the tub of sorbet in the sink. Tomorrow was when the tributes and Victors arrived at the Capitol, and she would need to do the fake smiling and pretending she was having a good time. The thought made her feel as though she had a heavy weight on her shoulders, and tears welled in her eyes as she stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut.
She had thought so much more of her dad. Miri knew that she was the result of an affair with a Capitolian woman, but it seemed that her dad was still hiring them out. The thought of him subjecting them to what Finnick was subjected to made her feel physically sick. Perhaps her dad wasn't the good guy after all.
"What do you mean, you aren't sponsoring anyone this year?" Cobryn folded his arms over his chest, looking thoroughly irritated. It was quite a normal expression when Miri was in the vicinity, something she prided herself on. In public, she had to pretend they were enthralled with each other. In private was where she showed her defiance, her complete and utter lack of respect for him.
"Exactly that." Miri raised her eyebrows coolly, daring him to challenge her. Of course, as the Head Gamemaker's daughter, it was expected that she would sponsor as she had with Nehemia the year before. But that was among the several things making her feel nauseous lately: the idea of sponsoring again.
"Do you know what people will think if you don't?" Cobryn demanded. They were standing outside at a social gathering, a pre-Games party, so that no one would hear them bickering. She wondered if anyone would see though, see the tense set of Cobryn's shoulders and her own hands balled into fists of rage.
"No," Miri scoffed. "I don't particularly care either."
What exactly would it look like? As though maybe she didn't have the money to sponsor, or was more focused on her upcoming wedding and the expenses that would entail. She didn't see why Cobryn was so worked up about the matter, but then it didn't really take much to annoy him…much to her vicious satisfaction.
"You should care." He grabbed her arm, hard. She was used to him leaving fingerprint-shaped bruises on her biceps and wrists, something that Seneca questioned and Obadiah avoided bringing up completely. "You are my fiancé, after all."
"Being your fiancé doesn't mean I'm suddenly deprived of free will, you arrogant prick," Miri hissed, her temper boiling over. Her defiance was usually of the subtle kind – eye-rolling and smirks when Cobryn ranted at her, small things that to an onlooker would not appear out of the ordinary. It was very rare for her to snap, but she just had. With everything going on in the past few days, the last thing she needed was Cobryn trying to bully her into submission. She knew that she had overstepped herself the moment she uttered the words, though.
Cobryn's eyes flashed and he struck her across the face with enough force to make her stagger. Fortunately she wasn't wearing heels, because she would have toppled into the rosebush if she had been. Instead she touched her cheek, effectively silenced. She glared hatred up at Cobryn, who loomed over her.
"You dare call me such names? Who do you think you are, you little bitch? You should feel privileged that I would even consent to be engaged to you, what with your…history."
"I think the young lady's heard enough."
The familiar voice made Miri perk up instantly, and she glanced over her shoulder to see Finnick sauntering towards them. She couldn't help but smile. It was the first time she had seen him, and although she had hoped they'd meet again under better circumstances, maybe this timing was more fortuitous. Cobryn wheeled around, lip curling upwards at the sight of the Victor.
"Come to seduce my fiancé, Odair?"
"Well, I wouldn't have to try very hard," Finnick drawled. His tone was lazy and calm, but Miri could see that his green eyes were angry. Cobryn bared his teeth, but seemed to take the hint. They all knew that Finnick could easily tell people what he had just witnessed. Muttering to himself under his breath, he stalked back off inside. Miri released a breath she didn't even know that she had been holding.
"Him, of all people?" Finnick asked with a quirk of an eyebrow.
"I had no choice." Miri's shoulders slumped and she crossed over to him. She wanted to throw her arms around Finnick and hold him close, but having not seen in so many months, she wasn't sure how he would react. She became uncertain, shy. "It was announced before I even really knew that we were engaged."
He chuckled, but his eyes were sad. "I guess we're both prisoners then."
Miri had never looked at it that way, had never thought that she and Finnick were both trapped. She would never assume to have things as bad as he did…yet he was right in some aspects. She swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how close he was to her. A strong arm looped around her waist, and she felt heat course through her entire body. She floundered, uncertain.
"Finnick…"
"Maybe I really am trying to seduce you." He grinned, before he pressed his lips insistently to hers. She kissed back, both shocked and thrilled at this turn of events. She let her arms drift up to wrap around his neck, and he deepened the kiss. It was so different from the drunken perversions of kisses that Cobryn forced upon her from time to time, mostly in public so that people thought their 'love' was real.
Finnick's fingers threaded gently in her blonde hair, while his other hand rested on the small of her back. His lips made her feel dizzy with delight. He nibbled lightly at her bottom lip, eliciting a sharp gasp from her. He laughed and kissed her passionately again, almost desperately, like a drowning man craving air.
Miri wanted to believe that Finnick liked her the way she liked him, but maybe he was just being charming for his own reasons. Maybe this kiss was nothing more than a manipulation, an illusion. It was that final thought that made her draw back.
"Miri?" Finnick frowned, looking puzzled.
"It's nice to see you again, Finnick," she said a little shakily, and she offered him a plastic Capitolian smile before she walked inside, trying to ignore how her hands and knees were trembling.
