"None of this sounds like the thing that you did, this shit just sounds like fairytales or something." Stu said as he flipped through the pages of one of the many books on Satanism and Satanic rituals and rites that the black haired man owned.
After his confession his boyfriend had wanted to know more about how these things worked. He had agreed that after Stu got off of work he'd pick him up, they'd get some take out, and go back to his place where he would show him every book he owned on the topic of demons and contracts with them. Stu had flipped through all of them, looking over them carefully, then going back and re-reading some parts like he hoped he hadn't missed anything vitally important. Murdoc had hoped the younger man wouldn't trust him as fully as he did, he had hoped he wouldn't believe a word he'd ever spoken about Satanism and making deals with demons for needs and wishes. Hell he'd always hoped those things weren't real, even the day he'd made the pact with a demon he'd clung onto the hope that he was just playing around with something completely stupid and mostly harmless.
"Yeah I know, most people tend to make it...I guess you can say an Earth bound religion, you know how that is. Give it a fancy, bit of a scary and ironic title, but in reality it just means worshiping nature."
"That's not what you do though, is it?" He placed the book back down on the floor with the others.
"Not exactly...You meet the right people in the wrong places, borrow the right material, and before you know it you do all sorts of stupid shit that you shouldn't be sticking your nose in."
"I don't get why you would do this in the first place, it's just stupid."
"I was desperate, people get real bad with judgment when they're desperate."
"What would even make you that desperate to throw your life away for this stuff?"
He gave a bit of a shrug and looked away from the younger man's mildly accusing stare.
"You were gone, my dad was beating on me, my brother was doing what he was doing, and then after I called the cops on him I thought it'd get better; it only got a million times worse than before. I got fucking scared and depressed, everything just got shittier than it already had been and I couldn't handle it. Hell I'd hoped a bit that it'd work and the thing would just fucking kill me, part of me didn't think anything would happen though and I was okay with that..It worked though, but it's not all bad."
"How isn't it all bad?"
"Nothing can happen to me until I get what I asked for and as far as I can see I haven't gotten shit on that half...So everything is fine, I'm here, and will be for a long time."
"I can't believe you even trust that it won't just kill you anyway, it's a demon Murdoc they don't exactly keep their fucking word."
"Maybe you're right, but all sorts of stuff could happen to me."
Stu took hold of his hand.
"I don't want anything bad to happen to you, alright? I sort of just want to shrug this off as some stupid joke. Stop stressing about it and worrying that you did something really stupid and one day you'll be dead or some shit like that."
"Hey don't worry so much mate, I'm fine...Okay that's sort of a lie, but you get what I mean."
"I'm not sure if you're insane or stupid."
Murdoc smirked, "A bit of both I suppose, come on not all of this stuff is bad."
"Yeah like the stuff in the books where nothing bad actually happens."
"Look luv, it's like alchemy; that's all magic really is. You got to give something of equal value to what you're asking for, that's all it is."
"Why'd you want something dumb like to be famous though? Sounds like something one of those pop stars you like would do."
"My dad used to put me in these stupid little talent shows at the local pub, just to get free beer and maybe a bit of spare change. I hated the things; if I didn't do them he'd kick my ass, if I lost then he'd break my teeth with that stupid cane of his. I just used to think that I like attention, but I don't like it when somebody is forcing me. I wanna be in control of things; not have some asshole threatening to beat the crud out of me as the reason I'm performing."
"Don't you got a band though?"
"I've had dozens of bands, you know how it is around here. These blokes and birds are fucking morons; they either tell you that you can't do shit music wise or they're talentless and lazy. None of my bands ever work, hell this one isn't working worth shit either...I figured this would help me, I got the fucking demonic bass from the depths of Hell, the ability to play it, and a promise that things will fall into place for me."
He glanced at the bass sitting in the corner of the room, it was strange, but it always seemed like the thing was watching him.
"Right so leave it up to fixed fate."
Murdoc looked at him in time to catch the younger man rolling an eye at him.
"Mock me all you want dullard, but it'll work out, and you'll be right with me."
"Who said I will?" The younger man said smiling playfully.
Murdoc wrapped an arm around his waist pulling him down against him, he kissed him biting at his lower lip.
"I love you"
"I love you too...I know what I said before, but maybe I'd be a bit less freaked out by all of this stuff if maybe you showed me more about it."
"Really, you actually want to learn about magic and stuff?"
Stu laughed, he buried his face against the older man's chest.
"Okay don't use the word magic, makes it sound really silly; let's stick to rituals or alchemy or whatever you were calling it before.
He kissed the top of his head, "Sure thing luv"
