Hey guise! Here's another chapter in which we delve a little bit deeper into Sam's character. Please enjoy, and thank you all once again for the favorites and reviews!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
The rest of the night went off without a hitch. They played spin for truth or dare for a few more turns before someone suggested a movie. After that the gleeks slowly fell asleep one by one while District 9 played in the background.
Finn snored every so often, and Puck had fallen asleep with an arm around Santana and Brittany. Sometime during the night the two girls had linked pinkies over Puck's chest and fell asleep like that. Quinn and Artie had fallen asleep talking, and Mercedes, Mike, Matt and Tina were all spread out and tangled in the mass of blankets.
Sam had stayed up watching the movie, trying to distract himself. It had just been a dare. The kiss he and Kurt had shared meant nothing. Santana was just trying to get revenge for Sam making she and Brittany kiss, though Sam had no idea why. It was obvious the girls liked each other.
In any case, the kiss between him and Kurt meant nothing.
Still, all of his rationing did nothing to ease the burning blush he still felt on his cheeks.
Kurt's lips had, after all, been one of the first things that Sam noticed. They were full and perfectly pink, and pouty almost like a girl's. He never imagined kissing them, at least consciously, and when he had, it was quite possibly the hottest thing that had ever happened to Sam in the history of his seventeen years of life.
The kiss had lasted maybe twenty-five seconds (not that Sam had counted or anything) and Sam had felt just this….this total and utter warmth spread in his chest. His heart beat faster, and then slowed down to an almost mellow beat. It was exciting, scary, amazing, and shocking to Sam….to say the least.
He had always labeled himself as straight. When people are born, Sam didn't suppose that they were thought of as anything but straight. It is only later in life when a kid starts to act different does the option of them being gay even begin to form in the minds of the parents. But what if Sam made himself believe that he wasn't gay? He'd never really thought about it.
He'd never dated anyone, not even in the few years he had gone to school. He'd never been particularly interested in any girls, but then again he'd never been particularly interested in another boy before.
Sam just simply…existed.
He didn't usually think for himself. In the Secret Service other people gave orders and the people like Sam merely followed them. It need be, he would jump in front of a bullet to protect Kurt. But was that because he liked Kurt, or because it was his job to?
He had been given the assignment to protect Kurt. It was his job. Sam's existence was his job. There was no sitting behind a desk and pushing papers around. There was only to protect Kurt and die if necessary. That's who Sam was. That's all his life would amount to.
That was, if he survived his job. Then when Burt's term as president ended Sam would be assigned to someone else. He would be passed from person to person until he died honorably in the line of duty or if he was lucky enough to retire.
But then what?
He'd have enough money to buy his own house, his own car, his own life. But then what? Would he fill his house with useless things to stare at until he dropped dead?
Paul Karofsky had been one of the lucky ones. He married his high school sweetheart before he was promoted up to the Secret Service. Some of the men and women who joined were lucky enough to marry, but most of them opted out of having families. Their schedules were always different depending on who they were assigned to protect at the time. No one wanted to leave families behind.
They were all practically parents anyway, watching over the VIPs of the world around the clock. They didn't have time for personal lives.
Sam closed his eyes, folding his arms as he looked back to the screen again.
Maybe they would let Sam go with Burt and Kurt when they went back home. After all, every former president was protected by the Secret Service after he left office. Maybe Sam could start a life there with them. Maybe he could quit after Burt was no longer present and make a life for himself, away from everything. He had enough money.
But a house wasn't a home.
Sam never finished middle school. What skills could he contribute to the world? A personal bodyguard for hire? He'd rather not get into the mob, thank you very much.
He couldn't help the tears that escaped him.
He would die like this. He would die protecting some senator, some president. One day he would have to take a bullet for someone. Not because he wanted to but because he had to. He had nothing to do but his job.
Sam was alone.
He didn't notice that he was trembling until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He sniffled softly, and a soft voice caught him by surprise.
"Sam?"
He turned and Kurt's blue eyes locked with his green.
Kurt's eyebrows pushed together in worry and he wiped away some of Sam's tears. "You okay?"
Sam nodded slowly, trying to compose himself. He didn't need to worry Kurt.
I'm fine. I'm sorry." He mumbled.
Kurt sighed softly, sitting next to Sam and watching him. "No you aren't. You're crying."
Sam attempted a grin. "Well this movie is a little depressing."
Kurt rolled his eyes, and they watched each other for a few moments. Neither boy was able to think of anything more to say.
Finally Kurt stood and Sam felt relieved. He didn't want to drag Kurt into his fucked up world. Bullied as the boy may be, Kurt was still very innocent. Pure. Sam wasn't about to strip him of that.
His heart leapt into his throat when he felt Kurt hugging him. They were both silent still. Sam was only able to hear his own radical heart thumping wildly and Kurt's soft breathing.
…
"You're a horrible secret agent man."
Kurt moved away, and Sam laid on his side, resting his head in Kurt's lap.
"Well I do try." Sam mumbled. "What did I do?"
Kurt watched him with soft eyes, and Sam began to doze off as he felt Kurt's slender fingers stroking his hair. "You let slip another secret of the Secret Service."
Sam closed his eyes, his breathing even as he fell asleep. Kurt smiled softly.
"That you're still human."
