Chapter 11
He took his time polishing the silver. Let the routine motions settle over him, calming his mind. He was disappointed in himself. He knew he had failed her with his brusque announcement to the staff. It wasn't as if he didn't want to scream to the hills that he loved her, he just didn't know how.
The staff adored her. Somehow she managed to skirt the line between disciplinarian and almost a mother. She'd always been able to do it. He envied her the ability. He knew they respected him but he wasn't altogether sure they liked him.
His mind was a million miles away when he heard the familiar tap of Mr. Bates' cane then a soft knock at the door. He turned just as Mr. Bates entered the room, "I came to offer my congratulations Mr. Carson."
He bristled a bit, not sure how to take the words. Then he decided to just relax and be gracious, "Thank you Mr. Bates."
Mr. Bates stood in the doorway, "It's hard isn't it?"
Charles looked at him curiously, "What's hard?"
"Being in love with someone everyone loves when you yourself are perhaps not viewed as warmly."
"I hadn't really thought of it that way but yes, there is some truth in that sentiment."
Mr. Bates took a step into the room, "There's nothing that quite prepares you for the attention. Suddenly all eyes are on you, gawking at you curiously. Men like us have spent our whole lives trying to blend into the background. Now we are thrust into the spotlight as people speculate what these glorious women see in us."
Charles laughed, his sadness lessening. "We are lucky men, aren't we?"
Nodding slightly Mr. Bates turned to leave, "Luckier than either of us probably deserve."
