A/N: And as promised, we have a new chapter! I was really, really on the fence as I came to the close of this chapter, but I think I really like where it's gone (thanks to my lovely Toto for helping me flesh out my idea a little more and talk it over with me). Anywho! I know this is a lot different than a lot of people are going to be expecting, but I promise it'll all work out in the end. Next chapter's already in the makes. R&R always appreciated - thanks for sticking on the ride! -Tayma (:
Chapter 11: Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
"I want a dad," I said on the way to school the next morning. I'd heard my mom on the phone with him the night before, trying to talk quiet enough to not be heard by me, but loud enough to be heard by him. Truth be told, I didn't want a dad – I still don't want a dad. My mom has always been enough for me, but she wanted me to have a dad. So I told her I wanted one.
The smile it put on her face could have blinded me if I'd stared at it directly.
"Really?" Her eyebrows lifted and she looked over at her.
"Yeah," No. Not at all, not really, but even at the age of almost 11, I understood how much my mother gave up to be the best mom she could possibly be for me. I couldn't keep taking things away from her.
"Can I ask what changed your mind?"
I shrugged, looking out of the window. "Well, you said that it wasn't fair if I didn't give him another chance, and that's true." I nodded just a little bit. "He just can't leave again, or else I don't ever want one ever."
"Well that's a very adult decision, Willow. I'm very proud of you." She leaned over to kiss my cheek and I smiled at her widely before getting out of the car and running into school. I'd never lied to my mother before, and to be honest, I've never lied to her since, unless you count keeping up the lie that I want a dad. The faster I got into school, the further away from the lie I was.
School passed by too quickly for my liking that day, and when I got home from school, my dad was there. When he hugged me, he started crying.
-x-x-x-
Emma gave Will the news that Willow wanted a dad in the middle of first period. She pulled him out of his Spanish class during her only gap in appointments all day, pulling him down the hall softly. She'd whispered it to him in the quiet hallway, and he responded with a loud laugh, wrapping her into a hug and lifting her off the ground.
"So this means…" he started, and she nodded.
"We can try to be together, yes." Will went in to kiss her and she put a hand against his mouth. "But we are taking things very slowly. Understood?"
He nodded and she leaned in, pecking his lips gently. "Get back to class. I'll meet you after school."
With that, she turned on her heel, clicking down the hallway and back to her office, just in time for a meeting with a fellow teacher who was in need of some advice.
School passed by too slowly for Will and Emma's liking that day. The final bell rang, bringing with it an aura of excitement that settled over the two of them – particularly Will. He met her outside of her office with a smile, his leather bag slung over his shoulder.
"Hey," he said, slipping his sunglasses onto his nose; he knew Emma found it pretty sexy.
"Hi," Emma said, still collecting her things as he leaned on her doorframe.
"I canceled Glee today," he said and Emma laughed.
"Why would you do that? Sectionals are coming up soon," she glanced up at him, sliding a few folders into her shoulder bag. "You guys need all the rehearsal you can get, and the kids are going to actually go crazy if you miss a rehearsal."
"They need to rest their voices for one day before they overextend themselves." He shrugged his shoulders a little, "Besides, I can finally see Willow. That's a little more important than Sectionals."
Emma stopped packing her bags, placing her hands on her hips and looking up at him as he stepped in. He took a seat across from her desk and she moved around, sitting on the edge of her desk gently.
"Will, I know what you're doing, but maybe ambushing Willow with a visit this afternoon isn't the smartest thing to do," she said, looking into his eyes. "She's agreed, but maybe we should give it a day or two. Come to the house on her terms first."
Will stared at Emma, his mouth slightly open, lost for words. Willow wanted a dad, so why couldn't she have one right away? Why was she trying to keep him from her?
"Do you not want me to see her?"
"What?! No! No, that's not what I'm saying at all."
"Then what are you saying, Emma?"
Emma looked at him, shaking her head slightly. "Nothing, I'm not saying anything." She gave him a soft smile. "I want you to see her, and I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see you."
"So should I, uh…"
"Yeah, come over. I'm stopping to pick up dinner on the way home. You can just follow me."
They beat Willow home that day, Emma with a couple of pizzas that she placed on the counter to cool as she started setting the table for the three of them. Will leaned against the counter, his eyes on her, as they both realized that this could very possibly become a regular thing: the two of them heading home together after work, setting the table and getting dinner ready for Willow's return home. Eating dinner together every night. Finally getting what they deserved together, but kept from each other for more than ten years.
Emma had just finished setting the table when the front door opened.
"There she is," Emma said quietly, hearing Willow call out that she was home. The voice was followed by a little redhead entering the kitchen moments later, a smile on her face. Her eyes widened a little when she saw her father standing in the kitchen.
Nope, she wasn't expecting to see her father standing there when she got home from school.
"Oh. Hi." She said quietly, her eyes on Will.
"Hey," he said softly, smiling at her. "How was school?"
Willow shrugged.
"Fine," she turned to Emma and smiled. "Hi, mommy." She walked over, hugging her gently. "Guess what. Mister Evans told us today that we have a field trip in October to a pumpkin patch near a park. So we're going to have a whole day of no school! Just playing and having a picnic and we get to pick out our own pumpkins to bring home for Halloween! Can I go?"
Emma laughed a bit. "Well hello to you, too." She leaned down and kissed Willow's head. "I'm sure that won't be a problem, Wills. Did he send home a permission slip?"
"Yeah, it's in my bag."
"Alright, I'll look at it after dinner. Maybe I can chaperone and we can pick out the perfect pumpkin together," Emma wiggled her eyebrows at Willow, smiling widely.
"Yes!" Willow said, jumping up and down twice. "I'll have the coolest mom of everyone going. All the other moms are old, like Gramma Rose."
Emma laughed and shook her head, moving to get the pizza. "That's sweet, Wills." She walked by Willow and looked at her, "Can you give your father a proper hello, besides 'Oh Hi'?" Emma asked, setting the pizzas down on the table.
-x-x-x-
To say that I hadn't expected my dad to be standing in my kitchen when I got home from school was an understatement. Mom was always really good about easing us into things; she always said that our life together was something very special and that our relationship was very important. So she tended to ease people and things into our life together slowly; she never wanted anything getting in the way of our routine. Clearly my dad was an exception to the rule, though I began to realize very quickly that it was because he tended to pressure my mom into things with a pout and a 'but I've missed so much of Willow's life already' thrown at her. He liked to make her feel guilty, and I always wanted to tell him that it was his own fault he missed so much of my life. Maybe he shouldn't have lied to my mother.
When my mom asked me to give him a proper hello, I wasn't really into it, but I had to play along with my lie. He'd been standing quietly at the counter, listening to my mom and I interact, and I could see the slightest bit of hurt that he tried to hide at the fact that all he got from me was 'Oh. Hi.' I walked over to him, looking up at him for a moment before opening my arms for a hug. He leaned down and hugged me tightly, kissing the side of my head.
"I missed you," he said. No, you didn't.
"I missed you, too," I responded without a beat. No, I didn't.
That's when I heard him start sniffling, and that's when I really felt bad for not being completely honest. Sure, I missed him to a degree. I missed the way I felt when I first met my dad for the first time. I missed how wonderful I felt when he told me that he loved me, because I had always worried that the day I met my father, I would realize that I really wasn't wanted and he would never love me. I missed feeling like maybe; just maybe, I was good enough to stick around instead of walk away from. That's what I missed – feeling like having a dad would be a great idea.
"Don't cry, Daddy," I'd said quietly, pulling away and smiling at him. "You won't be able to see dinner."
He'd laughed, and for a moment, I was glad I had a dad.
"Should we eat, then?" Mom asked, and I walked over, hugging her tight. She leaned down and kissed my head. I heard her thank me and I just nodded. My mom would be happy; that was all that mattered.
-x-x-x-
I had just turned fifteen when my dad moved into our house. Mom had asked me a thousand and one times if I was okay with him moving in. I'd agreed, but if it was up to me, I'd ask them to stay apart until I was grown and out of the house.
"There's going to be a ton of boy stuff around here," she'd said with a disgusted face, "So are you sure? You'll help me survive living with a boy?"
I laughed.
"Yes, mom. As gross as that is, I'll help you," I wrinkled my nose. "But he better not leave the toilet seat up because if I fall in the toilet it will not be nice."
She'd laughed and hugged me tighter than she had in a long time; I started to wonder if those hugs were reserved for my dad. The ones that came before I heard her whisper to him that she loved him more than anything. I used to go to bed, that whisper ringing in my head; if she loved him more than anything, then what did she mean when she told me she loved me more than life itself? Was that more than dad? It was once he moved in and she plopped down on the couch, smiling at him with a look on her face I'd never seen before, saying, "I'm happier than I've been in a very long time," that I started thinking maybe she loved him more. She had loved him longer, after all.
It was stupid to be thinking about at fourteen years old, but it was something that ran through my head a lot. He would make comments and I would just roll my eyes. 'Typical teen,' he'd say with a laugh. I wanted to ask him what the hell he knew about being a typical anything but a jerk.
-x-x-x-
They were sitting on the couch, having a pizza and movie night some time after my Will moved in, and Emma suddenly paused the movie, looking over at Willow. She was pulled from her thoughts about her father and mother and the past few years by Emma's voice.
"You know, you're the same age I was when I fell in love with your father," she said, her eyebrows pulling together. "How crazy is that? How'd you get so old?" She laughed and Willow just stared at her.
"Let's hope I don't make the same mistake," she shot back and Emma's doe eyes widened, surprised by her daughter's words. "I don't plan on ending up pregnant and alone in three years."
"Willow…" she started and Willow just shrugged.
"Unless you want me to screw myself over the way dad did to you. I'll call up any guy from Glee Club and get started on it now. Oh, how about the Howell kid? He's an asshole dating a cheerleader, and I'm sure he'd have no problems with a bang and disappear."
"Willow," Will started, his voice firm. "That is not what happened at all."
"What, bang and disappear? I'm sorry, fuck and forget. How could I be so careless?"
"Willow!" Emma stood up, staring down at her daughter, "That is enough. You do not speak like that in this house."
"Why?!" Willow asked, standing up, her eyes locked onto her mother's. "Why not speak the truth in a house full of lies?"
"What are you talking about, a house full of lies?!"
Willow stared at her mother, laughing just a little. "Please. Lying is all we do in this house anymore. You pretend like you don't still worry about whether or not dad really loves you, and you act like he didn't just leave you and wasn't completely selfish about everything. Dad walks around here acting like he's an actual father to me, when he just walked in five years ago and decided he wanted to try being a dad to a daughter who he didn't even know about and when he did know about her, he walked in and walked away like he didn't actually want her to begin with. Because let's be honest, he didn't want me to begin with. How many times did you talk to him when I was a kid, and how many times did I hear you tell him you were babysitting a niece you never had and still don't have, because he could hear me in the background screaming 'MOM' at you and giggling when you lied, but you couldn't just tell him you had a daughter with him? I'm more than positive that he had some idea, but he just pretended he didn't because he wasn't accountable for what he did that way." Willow paused, staring at her parents, who both stared at her wide-eyed. "I've been lying for five years. I don't want a dad. I want a dad. Not someone who thinks he knows what he's doing and just jumps into being a dad because he should be."
"Okay, that's not fair," Will said, and Willow turned to him.
"Isn't it? How many of my softball games have you actually been to? None. Because if it's not my Glee competitions that you coach, you don't care." She shook her head. "You only get me in trouble because you think that's what a dad does, and never, since I was eleven years old, have you actually sat down with me and tried to get to know me as your daughter, rather than as the kid you had with your friend from your childhood. I feel less like your daughter now than I ever did before you knew me."
Hurt was written all over Will's face, and Emma stared at her daughter, completely surprised by everything that had just come out of her mouth. Though, she couldn't figure out if she was surprised because what Willow said, or because a lot of what she said was true.
Willow turned to walk out of the living room and Will stepped towards her, "Willow Jane, don't you walk out of this living room. Not until we've settled this."
She whipped around, her eyes locking onto her father. "I have nothing to say anymore, and I don't want to hear what you have to say." With that, she walked upstairs, slamming her door behind herself.
Emma was still rooted to her spot, her eyes on the wall behind where Willow had been standing; her back turned against her boyfriend.
"So much for being a team there, Emma," Will started, his eyes on her back. "Shouldn't one of us go up there after her?"
She said nothing.
"Emma?"
Emma stood, her eyes falling closed as what Willow said settled into her brain. The words, How many times did you talk to him when I was a kid, and how many times did I hear you tell him you were babysitting a niece you never had and still don't have, because he could hear me in the background screaming 'MOM' at you and giggling when you lied, but you couldn't just tell him you had a daughter with him? I'm more than positive that he had some idea, but he just pretended he didn't because he wasn't accountable for what he did that way, running through her head a few times.
"Emma!"
"Did you know?"
Will looked at her confused. "Did I know what?"
"About Willow, did you know?" She turned to face him, her eyes flying open as they settled on his. "Did you put any of it together before I told you about her?"
"Emma." He gave her a look that asked her if she was serious.
"Will, did you know. Did you have any idea?"
"Emma, come on."
"No, dammit! Answer me, yes or no, did you figure out about Willow before I told her, and have you been lying to me for five years, pretending that you had no clue when you had an idea all along?"
"Yes," he said finally, swallowing hard.
"And did you get confirmation of the facts before I finally came to you?"
"Yes." He wasn't meeting her gaze anymore.
"Where did you get that confirmation from?"
"My parents," he said quietly.
Emma nodded. "I think you should go."
"What?"
"Leave, Will."
"But Emma—"
"Do not but Emma me! I felt horrible for lying to you! I felt awful. You have let me believe for five years that you knew nothing about her, and you've known all along. How long did you know about her?" Silence. "Dammit, Will, I swear to God, how long did you know about her?"
"She was about four. She was at my parents' house, and I heard her calling my dad Grandpa. It wasn't hard to figure out, being an only child."
"And you never…" She shook her head, feeling about to throw up. "You need to go."
"Emma, I'm not leaving."
Emma stared at him, swallowing hard. "Well you're not staying in this house."
"Please…just let me explain."
Emma looked at him, her eyebrows pulling together, "You should have just kept with the lie."
DISCLAIMER: GLEE, Emma and Will are property of FOX/RIB. I own Willow because she's my brain baby.
