Notes: This chapter is focused on Snape and Lily basically. It has very little to do with Harry in the current period. It does allow the reader to see a bit about where Snape is coming from. I hope it's not too out of character. And yes I'm still being purposely vague on what Snape did to cause Lily and Potter to become a couple.
This chapter was not betaed. I admit I was too embarrassed to have my sister read this even if the romance is light. blush
Thanks to all those who reviewed: starangel2106, Anarane Anwamane, juliedecarson, Kris-tina4, HecateDeMort, John Steppenwolf, Connie Eressea, Amanda Lily Potter, Kateri1, ShadowedHand
John Steppenwolf: Don't worry about me making Hermione too trusting too fast. I have no plans to do that since I agree with you totally about Hermione not trusting Slytherins in general. Also I view Mrs. Weasley as someone who fears losing her family and that she views Harry as being part of that. Snape threatening to cut her off from him totally in a time she believes he needs her would be a huge blow.
Anonymous: Sorry you think I suck and am an idiot. I honestly don't believe that Hermione and Harry would make a good couple so I have no plans on putting them together. Also I see nothing that makes Hr/H canon.
Severus and Lily were sitting under the colorful trees of Autumn and were well hidden from any from any prying eyes that may dare come their way. In the distance, you could hear the cheers of the crowd watching the Quidditch game, Slytherin versus Gryffindor, which they had opted to 'forget' about. They were enjoying themselves far more anyway. It was the Fall of their sixth year and they had been officially dating for the last month. Severus could hardly believe his luck. The pretty Gryffindor liked him back... really liked him from the way she was passionately kissing him. Harsh words from the spring before had been forgiven and hopefully would soon been forgotten as well.
"Mmmmmm," Lily nipped Severus' lip and pulled back, her hands cupping his face as her bright green eyes stared into his dark ones. "That's nice," she said breathlessly.
"Yes," he answered her awkwardly with an uncharacteristic blush playing across his normally pale cheeks.
Lily leaned forward with a sly smile until their two noses touched. "You really know how to make a girl feel good."
The blush deepened and his heart beat wildly. He wasn't use to such encouraging words unless it was a teacher commenting on his school work, particularly potions.
"So do you... I mean guy though," he blustered. He pulled back again and sighed inwardly. Yes, they had been together the past month, but he still was useless and stupid around the female gender. All his sense went directly out the window at any contact with them.
Lily laughed. "It's all right," she reassured him, stroking his black hair. "I bet I could make girls feel pretty good as well." She winked at him as his eyes widened.
If she was trying to calm him, she had failed miserably. He was at more a loss of words then ever. Why couldn't they just kiss?
He leaned back in and did just that. It was a sweet and tender kiss, with an element of uncertainty to it. Severus was giving an air of being very solemn, but Lily was playful. She pulled away and mischievously batted her eyelashes at him. A wide grin came to her pretty face and she winkled her nose up in glee. In this moment, Severus thought her eyes had never sparkled more alluringly.
"I care about you, you know," she whispered flirtatiously. Her lips were pursed as her eyes shinned on.
"Yes," came his dull response.
Lily's eyes became as solemn as his had been moments before. "And what about you, Severus? Do you care about me?"
She wanted to hear the words back and he had always felt they were understood. He never had said them and supposed he never would, but how could she not know how he felt?
"Of course, Lily."
Lily gave a small laugh and rolled over onto her back. She glanced happily at the hazy blue sky. "Why am I not shocked you can't say it?"
Severus frowned and thought on what to say. "Because-"
"Because I know you for what you are and adore you all the more for it." She rolled onto her stomach so she could look at him in the face. "Rarely ever straight forward, always sneaky and cunning like the Slytherin you are."
His frown deepened and he sat up with a jolt. Looking down upon her angrily, he spat, "If you wanted to bash Slytherin you should have gone to the match."
Her light yet strangely earnest mood went unmoved. "I'm not bashing, just stating."
Severus relaxed a bit and after hesitating a moment, allowed himself to lay back down.
"I said I liked you the way you are," Lily continued. "It just makes you all the more thrilling... You're challenging." Lily gazed at him with an expression of secret pleasure. "You'll say it one day, you know, that you care for me. I'm certain you will. Maybe even more than that, that you love me... and when you do I win."
Severus jerked away again. He didn't know why he bothered to let his defenses down. She always turned around and teased him. "I'm not some cause," he stated with a little too much passion. He was letting her know that she was getting to him.
"No, I said you were a challenge... and I like that fact about you all too well."
Severus gave a reluctant wearily smile. He was liked... not by most, but at least this one person and for him that was everything.
Reaching out he played with a lock of her flaming red hair. She was beautiful... And she liked him. He felt a wave of contentment. Shuffling over, she snuggled into him. There they lay. They said nothing more until they left, but neither minded at all.
Lily... Snape's memories of her were many and each was more haunting to him than the last. One could say, memories like that of that simple Fall day and the emotions behind them were branded into his scorched ruin of a heart. They were far more clear and far more vivid than even the world around him managed to be. Yet those memories were covered in shadow. As happy as that short time had been, he couldn't even look upon those days with fondness. They were tainted. Every misery that came after haunted and dulled them. His happiest moments were bitter to him now.
Lily had loved him. Loved him for who he was. That was something he hadn't know since. His Lily had managed to see through the feeble walls he had already begun building around his heart at the tender age of sixteen. Those walls were steel now. They were cold and hard, suggesting little of warmth inside if any even remained.
He doubted it. It had been snuffed out in a moment that had appeared to be his brightest; his most hopeful. It had been some three years after the day under the trees. She had come to him that night. When he first saw her, the light yet loving gaze had vanished from her eyes.
When Severus had opened the door to his home, she had been the last one he had expected to see there and yet still the only one he would have ever wanted. Before he had the chance to react, she had plumped into his chest like a lost child. Her hand gripped onto his black robe as she trembled. Tears were running from her red and raw eyes.
"How could you!" she cried angrily. "How dare you?"
The crying worsened and he stood there wordless. He was no better at handling women than three years earlier and this time he was all the more shocked by the situation. Numbly, he lifted his heavy hand to the back of her head, which he cradled in an attempt to comfort her. He stroked her long red hair, hoping he wasn't being too rough. Here she was in his arms and he felt nothing.
And there they stood. Moments ticked on by, but neither made an effort to move. It was too unreal. Lily remembered.
She pulled away, appearing far too weak and timid for his fiery Lily. Pain radiated from her watery accusing eyes.
"Why?" she tried again. "Why did you do it?"
He stood there lost in his own shame, love and embarrassment. "I loved you," he admitted. It was the first time he had ever said those words.
"Loved me?" she asked with an air of disbelief. She glared hard at him now. "Is this your idea of love?"
"It went wrong... as wrong as it could have gone. I'm sorry... You have no idea how sorry I am. I tried to tell you."
"Why?" she demanded. His words only seemed to enrage her all the more. "Why did you do it?"
"I was... insecure... and stupid. I was sure you could never feel the way I did so I- it was a mistake. I'm sorry."
He was holding back the tears now.
Don't cry, he berated himself. You're not Snivellus any more, fool... I'm not.
Still the tears came and Lily's eyes showed him pity. Like a loving yet disappointed mother, Lily reached out for him now. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She kissed his cheek where a tear had just been. "Don't cry. I love you."
Her body was warm and so tightly pressed against his. He never felt so close to her, something that made him feel more vulnerable then ever before, yet through all this he still craved more. He craved something like the touch from a lover.
Leaning her against the wall he entwined their bodies together even more.
No space between us... ever, his mind screamed.
She didn't push him away. That one simple fact gave him all the confidence he needed. Feeling a surge of desire, Severus shoved her against the wall and kissed her greedily.
Mine. She is all mine. Every part of his self demanded that it be so.
Scrunching his eyes together tightly in determination, he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her with everything he had. It was a hard almost painful kiss, nothing like the timid kisses of old. He was desperate to deepened it further, but found he couldn't.
As several moments slipped away, Lily tried to turn her head away, but he wouldn't allow it. She groaned in protest and clawed at him, but still he didn't let her go... not until his own lungs burned with the plea for air.
Had that been what she wanted?
Once they part they both gasped for air. Lily had a look of astonishment on her face. She hadn't expected him to act like this and from the look in her eyes she didn't seem to mind at all.
Giving her a knowing smile, Severus kissed and nipped at her jaw hungrily.
"Mine," he hissed in her ear. "You're all mine."
Pulling away, Lily stood there trembling. As she bit her lip and glanced down, Severus began to fell uneasy again. But he needed have... Whatever battle going on within her seemed to come to a close as she lifted her hand into view and stared straight into his dark eyes. The gold wedding band Potter had given her glimmered on her finger. With both hands shaking, she twisted the ring off her finger until it was balanced between the fingers on her right hand. Spreading her fingers, the ring fell to the floor with a clank.
"Yours," she whispered.
Severus rushed forward for another kiss, but she held her hand up to stop him. "Take me upstairs." Her soft voice was surprisingly shy though the fire in her green eyes gave off anything but the impression of her being timid.
Grasping her hand, Severus gave her a dark smile and pulled her towards the dark stairwell.
The ring hadn't remained off Lily's finger long. When the light of day came Lily saw things in a whole new light. The dark mark on his arm, which she hadn't even flinched at the night before though he was sure she had seen and had known about before hand, had become the excuse for their reunion ending fast. He didn't blame her for being upset about it though he had wished that she hadn't gotten his hopes up the night before when the only 'sin' she minded was the one that threw her into Potter's arms... and she had forgiven him for that.
He'd never look at that night the same again. It was no longer just the night he had sex with Lily or the night before she had made her final choice of that damned James Potter over him. It was the night Harry had been conceived.
It seemed wrong that the 'savor of the wizarding world' had come from that night... Or maybe some would say it was just right. Symbols of the two sides, the Muggle born and the Death Eater, come together in a moment of love... or maybe even just lust... to create the boy that would put the war on pause for ten years and still seemed fated to end it completely.
Once again, Snape couldn't help but feel smug about that fact. It was no longer Potter's son who was the 'savor' and 'celebrity'... it was his and by Lily. In his own way, he felt as though he had won.
Only problem was that he liked the bragging rights he could possibly someday have, not the responsibility behind it or even the boy. And responsibility seemed ever bountiful at the moment. It had been several days and Potter was still in what they had labeled a coma.
Snape realized that if Potter didn't wake by tomorrow he'd miss his sixteenth birthday.
End of Chapter 11
Thanks for reading and so sorry for taking so long once again on such a short chapter. I'm a Snape/Lily shipper so I indulged in it this time around. Next will focus on what happened to Harry and the Harry and Snape relationship.
