I'm BACK!

OMG it's been forever. FF got a new look and everything just looks so fancy.

First things first, I'm so so sorry about the long delay. I went on vacation, then got very sick. Had to travel back to my home town got stuck there while the doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with me. Got a new job and had a death in my family. Basically it's been a really rough couple of months for me. But I made it and I'm back and ready to finish this!

Thank you to everyone for all their support while I was gone and going through. Thank you to my amazing beta who litarlly held my hand this summer while things were going on. Thanks for the favs, the reviews and the PMs. They mean so so much to me.

Okay this is the chapter everyone has been waiting for. Enjoy!


Chapter 11

Today was the day Rachel had been waiting for; Saturday. Not only was it Sarah's 16th birthday but it was also the day she would go home and see her family again. She was so excited her body was practically hummed in excitement. She got up early and packed her bag so that she would be ready to go when she left this afternoon.

She couldn't believe it. In just a few short hours she would be back in the comfort of Noah's arms and surrounded by the sounds of her children arguing over some juvenile thing. She would be home. She'd be loved and not have to worry about what she did or said. She wouldn't have to constantly watch her back against the people around her.

After packing she took some time to call the birthday girl before rehearsal.

"Hello?"

"Happy Sweet 16 birthday," Rachel said enthusiastically into the phone.

Sarah laughed, "Thanks Mom."

"Okay, I know it may not seem like it now but this day is very important to your growth and development. Your 16th birthday is a mere stepping stone on your way to blossoming into womanhood."

"Mom," Sarah said but Rachel kept going.

"I just think we should take the time to look back and reflect on the life changing moments that have led us here. May even appreciate those hard times that shaped you into who you are today."

"Mom..."

"This is the moment to look ahead at where you want your journey to take you and who you really want to become in life-"

"Mom," Sarah said finally cutting Rachel off. "Look it's just my 16th birthday! I'm not getting married or anything. I'm pretty sure there'll be plenty of time to reflect and appreciate later."

"But Sweetie you don't understand. Being 16 is a magical year. This is when you start to find yourself and subsequently find love. You know I was 16 when you're father and I first dated."

"Yeah and then you broke up with him after a week cause you were in love with Uncle Finn."

"The point is-"

"I get it mom. This is a big moment for me and I should enjoy which I will. I promise" Sarah reassured her.

Rachel beamed. "I'm glad. What are your plans for the day?"

"Well as soon as dad wakes up," She said shouting. Rachel rolled her eyes imagining her daughter trying to rush Noah and Caleb. "We're heading down to the DMV to get my license"

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Rachel said feeling a pang of guilt.

Sarah was going to get her license today and she wouldn't be there for the moment. She wouldn't get to see her excited face when she comes running up with that piece of plastic. She wouldn't get to see how nervous she would be when Noah let her drive home. It was a big moment and she was missing it. "I'm very proud of you. And I love you very much."

"God, you're not gonna start crying are you," Sarah said before chuckling. "I love you too mom. And don't worry as soon as you get home I'll drive you around everywhere. You think dad'll get me my own car?"

Rachel laughed. "I doubt it."

"Darn. Oh well looks like I'm going to have to steal Caleb's" She mused.

"The hell you will. Over my dead body," Rachel heard her son in the background.

"That can be arranged," Sarah mumbled. Then Rachel heard some fumbling around in ground. Sarah screamed and it sounded like she was running. "Stop I'm telling dad!" She yelled. "Mom, I gotta go. Your son is acting like an infant!" She shouted again.

"Hi Mom, your daughter is being a brat!" Caleb yelled

Rachel laughed. "Try not to kill each other," She told them.

"I can't make any promises" Sarah said before there was another loud sound in the background. "Love you mom, gotta go!" Sarah said before clicking the phone.

"Love you too," Rachel said to the dead phone. Another pang hit her. She missed them. All their fighting and yelling through the house and now her room seemed so quiet. She took a moment and let the loneliness seep into her.

Wait a minute she was being silly. While her feelings and emotions were justified she was completely overlooking the fact that she would see them soon in less than 12 hours in fact. She would just have to brave through today and then she would be free to go home. Her chest began to feel light again. She was off to rehearsal.

The day started off like normal: people glaring at her, Frank making her life difficult, and Clinton being surly and demanding. All in all it was a typical rehearsal. They had a 10 minute break and she even got a chance to text Noah (After which she couldn't keep the smile off her face at the thought of 'dessert'). Things didn't start going south until Jesse walked in looking stressed and angry. He was on his phone and he was not happy.

"Fine we'll work around it," He finally snapped to the person on the phone. He made his way over to Clinton without even glancing at Rachel which was a little odd considering he's always staring at her or touching her. Clinton called five as Jesse pulled him over for a discussion that now Clinton was not happy about.

"I wonder what's wrong." She said to no one in particular.

Frank looked at her with fake enthusiasm. "Maybe we're getting a new lead," He said before rolling his eyes at her.

"That's too bad. We're really gonna miss you," She shot back at him with a glare of her own. She was tired of taking his crap. And to be perfectly honest the prospects of seeing Noah in a few hours made her feel braver.

She turned her attention back to Clinton as he made his way over to the rest of the cast. "Everyone we have a situation. Apparently there was some scheduling confusion with the photographer for the promotional shots. We were supposed to do them next Friday but he is only available today. So here what's going to happen: principle rehearsal is ending for right now and we'll pick back up at six. In the meantime dancers you're going to take their slot and have you're rehearsals now. Principles you need to report to costumes and then back to Jessie so you can be taken to the locations for the shoot. Let's move,"

Everyone jumped into action at his words. Dancers ran around trying to get ready while actors scrambled to gather their things. Everyone was in motion except Rachel who stood there stunned and she processed all the information. If she was doing promotional photos during rehearsal, and had another rehearsal later on tonight. She won't be able to go home.

No, that can't happen. There has to be some other way. She made her way over to Jesse.

"There you are" He said when she approached. "I was looking around for you."

"Jesse, we can't do the shoot today. I'm supposed to being home remember. I'm leaving in a few hours to drive to Lima."

"Rachel, there's nothing I can do about this. I've been on the phone all morning trying to rework it because we're nowhere near ready for this. Most of the costumes aren't even fully put together.

"Reschedule,"

"He won't be available until May when the workshop is well over."

"Then get someone else,"

"Are you kidding Martin Barlow is the best. We have to use him."

"But Jesse-"

"Look Rachel, you don't know anything about the technical side of producing a Broadway show. So why don't you do me a favor and go to costumes."

"I'm going home. You said I could go home so I'm going," She said stubbornly. It sounded childish even in her eyes but she stood her ground.

Jesse looked her square in the eye. "You wanted to be a professional. Well this is professional. Thing come up, you deal with it and you sacrifice. So I'm sorry but I'm not sure if that's still going to happen." Rachel glared at him and opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off. "Look…" Jesses face soften and stroked Rachel's cheek. "I don't want to fight with you. I'll try to get you out of the shoots as fast as I can but you're going to have to talk to Clinton about missing your late night rehearsal. If you get his blessing you can leave after the shoot around 5 or 6."

Rachel gave him a grateful smile and big hug. She walked over to Clinton.

"Not now, Ohio," He told her as he rushed around with papers in his hand.

"I really need to talk to you." She told him.

"Talk to me when you get back," He tossed over his shoulder.

Someone from behind called her name and told her that Costumes really needed to see her and she knew she missed her shot to talk to him.

It would be okay. Clinton was a very understanding man. Plus this would be a perfect time for her understudy to get some much needed rehearsal. Rachel was confident they could work this out. Plus Jesse was right. Even though this changed the plans a little bit she would just be leaving a few hours later. There was nothing to stress about. This was going to work. This HAD to work.

The next few hours were a stressful blur of people poking her, prodding her, taking off her clothes and putting others on. She was shoved in a van with the other principles and taken to the location of the shoot. Once there she was yanked out of the van and again attacked but this time by a hair and makeup team. Jesse would walk over occasionally, make a comment, and the team would rush to fix whatever he didn't like.

Rachel felt more like a doll than an actually person. The feeling only increased when Martin Barlow finally showed up and they actually started the shoot. As annoying as it was it was also excited at the same time, getting the star treatment. She got a glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn't believe how much she looked like Maria. It was amazing.

The whole time though her brain was nagging her about the prospects of going home. What would happen if she couldn't? No. She refused to believe that. Anytime those thoughts came into her head she just pushed them away and told herself that she'd see Noah and the kids soon enough.

Finally they were done and Rachel sighed in relief when she looked at the clock and it was just after four. At this rate should leave Chicago around five and be home for a movie with the kids and late night with Noah. She changed quickly but didn't bother with her hair and makeup.

When they made it back to the Theater Rachel looked all over the theatre for Clinton but he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he'll cancel tonight she thought hopefully. Maybe something came up in his personal life and he himself couldn't make it. Those hopes were dashed when Clinton showed up just after five.

"Clinton" Rachel rushed up to him "I really need to talk to you."

"I hope you ate Ohio because I won't put up with you passing out during rehearsal." He said not even looking up from his papers.

"Well that's what I need to talk to you about. You see I was supposed to leave a few hours ago to head back to Lima but-"

"No," Clinton cut her off.

"Excuse me,"

"You're about to ask me if you can skip rehearsal so you can head back home and I am telling you no."

"But-"

"No."

"You don't understand. I have to be there. It's very important."

"Not more important than my show." He said walking away from her.

"Listen," Rachel said jumping in front of him. "I work my ass off for this show. I'm the first one here and the last one to leave. I've been working with vocal coaches and choreographers before the rest of the cast even got here. I know the entire script by heart and sing with perfect pitch every time. I'm giving this everything I have and all I'm asking for is one night!"

Clinton looked unimpressed. "You work your ass off. Good. What do you want a round of applause? Look around Ohio. So does everyone else. That's what it takes. That's how we all got here. So you need to decide if this is what you really want or not cause if it's not than stop wasting my god damn time." Clinton brushed past her. "If it is I'll see you at rehearsal," he tossed over his shoulder before leaving.

"Nice bitch fit" Frank said from behind her.

"Fuck off Frank!" She yelled back before storming off to the bathroom. She really didn't want to have to deal with him right now. Not when she had bigger problems.

It's over. That's it. She was not going home. She won't see Noah or Caleb. She won't be able to tell her baby girl happy birthday to her face. She's going to miss it. And that officially makes her the worst mother on the planet. How the hell did this happen? She did everything right. She played by the rules. She did her time.

And it wasn't like she could just walk way. Clinton pretty much told her she doesn't show up tonight she's out of the show. She's worked too damn hard to let that happen. How would she explain that to kids or Noah? That she threw away the wonderful opportunity cause she didn't want to go to rehearsal that night. Noah would call her stupid just for thinking it.

Still, this wasn't going to be easy. Sarah would be devastated if Noah told her she was coming and she didn't show. And Noah; she couldn't even bear to think about how hurt and upset he'd be at her. Especially considering how rocky things have been in her absence. But he had to understand. It's not like she choose this or even wanted this to happen. She's a victim just as much as he is.

She looked at the time. Almost 5:30. She should call him and tell him the news. She didn't want him holding off dinner for her if she was never coming. She looked in the mirror and splashed cool water on her face to calm herself down. When she felt calm, she pulled out her phone and dialed the number.

He answered after the first few rings. "Hey babe," he said.

"Hi," Rachel said breathlessly. It was ridiculous how just the sound of his voice seemed to put her body at ease. Like her body knows that he was a safe place. He was home.

"You still on the road," She felt the familiar pang that she did that morning. She should be on the road. Maybe even in the driveway of her home by now. Not standing in the theater bathroom trying not to breakdown and cry.

"No actually…um I'm not," She told him in a low voice. "Rehearsal went longer than expected and some other things came up," She tried to swallowed the lump building in her throat but found it really difficult.

"Oh that sucks," He told her. "Well, sounds like you're gonna miss dinner but at least you're gonna make it home in time for dessert," He said seductively. "Are you hitting the road now?"

God she wished she was. She wish so bad that that she could tell him that. Rachel took several calming breaths before responding. "No…not yet," She answered quietly again.

"Why not? What the fuck you waiting for," He asked

"Um… I'm actually still in the middle of things here. Something went terribly wrong with scheduling and it looks like I'm gonna be stuck here for at least another four hours" The words tasted bitter in her mouth.

"Four hours! Shit can't you just pick up that shit on Monday or something." Yes! She wished she could.

"Noah it's not that simple," She had to explain it to him. He had to understand.

"What are you trying to say?" She could hear him putting the pieces together of what she was trying to tell him. The disappointment was starting to build in his voice.

She blinked back her tears. "I…I don't think I'm going to make it." She whispered too much of a coward to say it louder.

He was silent, silent for a long time and somehow that was worse than him yelling or cussing. That silence said everything that he was feeling; how hurt he was and how much he disapproved. The silence was torture for her. "Noah…Noah talk to me"

"Don't," He finally broke. "Don't do this," Her tears finally broke through now. Not only was she a horrible mother but she was a horrible wife for doing this to him. She took deep breaths forcing herself not to break. She needed to herself to keep it together long enough to explain.

"Noah I don't really have a choice," Rachel said through her tears.

"Yes you do. Just leave. Shit they don't own you."

"I can't," She told him and begged him to understand. If she left she would be gone for good. Everything they have been working for these past couple months would be for nothing. She would fail not only herself but her family and she refused to do that.

"You won't," He accused.

She had to make this better. There had to be something she could do to make this better. "I'll…I'll come home next weekend, for the full weekend."

"Next weekend isn't her birthday! It's today. It's now and you're fucking missing it!" Does he think she doesn't know that! Of course she does! That's all that's every on her mind anymore.

"Do you think I wanted this to happen? You think I'd rather be here than at home with my family," She begged. How did he not understand? This was killing her just as much as it was killing him. Did he think she enjoyed this?

"How the fuck am I supposed to go in there and tell her this shit?" He asked.

Rachel broke. She honestly didn't have an answer to his question. She didn't know what to do or what to say to stop the hurt or the horrible feeling inside. She hated herself a little bit and all she could do right now is cry.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," She continued to cry. "I tried everything and I just…I'm sorry"

She heard the click on the other line and cried even harder. He's hung up on her a lot this past month. By now it shouldn't hurt so bad but it still had a sting behind it. Especially this time since she knows that this is all her fault.

She spends about another ten minutes crying in the bathroom before she remembers she has a rehearsal in ten minutes. She puts herself together as best as she can before she walks out of the bathroom with her head held high. She knows everyone can see her tear stained shirt and her swollen red eyes but no one comments about it and she's thankful. She's also thankful that they are rehearsing Tony's death tonight. She had a lot of emotion to throw into the scene and by time they were done even frank couldn't say one negative thing to her.

She didn't stay for any idle chit chat when Clinton released them. Noah was right they are all a bunch of ass wipes and the soon she got out of there the better. She didn't even turn when he called her name as she was leaving. She had a one track mind and quickly left the theater and walked the six blocks back to the hotel. Normally Jesse gives her a ride but she doesn't want to see him right now. She doesn't want to see anyone right now unless they have the last name Puckerman.

As soon as she reached the hotel she went straight to her room not even bothering to take the elevator. She opened her door grabbed her bag that she packed earlier this morning and walked right out down to the garage. She was going home even if it killed her. Screw Clinton, screw the show, screw Jesse and screw all of them. She had a place she needed to be and she was going to get there.

When she reached the car in the garage she was already starting to feel lighter. They couldn't tell her 'no' now. She played by their rules (even when they changed them) and stayed for the stupid rehearsal and now she was going home to her family, even if it was only for a few hours. She'd get in at 3:00am she could spend a couple hours with them before hitting the road at seven to be back for the stupid lunch. It nowhere near enough time but it's something and honestly she just needs to see them.

Rachel opened up the back seat not bothering with the trunk and threw her bag in back. She got in the driver's seat and breathed out a sigh of relief. The car smelled like her son which was oddly comforting. She jammed the key in and tried to turn on the car only something was wrong. The car wouldn't turn on.

"No," Rachel said out loud.

She tried it again and again and it still wouldn't work. It's okay she told herself. She could fix this. She may not be the most car savvy person in the world but Noah did teach her a thing or two about checking the oil and wiper fluids and stuff. This was a small problem. She could fix. Heck she WOULD fix it. She needed to go home and this car and a 4 hour drive was the only thing in her way.

She popped the hood, got out and after tinkering around for a bit with stuff she didn't understand she jumped back in to try again. Still it wouldn't start.

"Shit!" Rachel said finally. "Shit! Shit! SHIT!" She started beating her fist on the dash board and steering wheel. "Shit! This whole thing is shit! Shit!" She yelled and slammed her fist on the horn. The sound startled her and she finally stopped screaming and threw her head forward on the steering wheel. She wanted to cry but she was all cried out. She felt hollow on the inside.

There had to be a way to fix this. I need to go home. She told herself. I need to go home. Fix this Rachel. You need to go home to your husband and your children. You have to fix this.

At that moment there was a knock at her window. Rachel jump back startled. It was Jesse. She opened the door and stepped out to meet him.

"Rachel what are doing? I've been looking everywhere for you. I thought-"

"I'm going home" She cut him off without even pretending to care about whatever he was about to say.

Jesse frowned. "You're going home?" She nodded "Right now?" She nodded again "At almost 11:00 at night."

"Yes" She said exasperated.

"Then you're going to drive back in the morning for a lunch at noon?" Rachel didn't even bother responding. "Rachel that doesn't make sense,"

"It doesn't have to" She shot back at him. "I have to go home and I'm going home. Someone I love very much is waiting for me and I refuse to let them down." She said before got back in the car and slammed it shut. Jesse just stood outside the car.

She put the keys back in, praying the car would start this time but no such luck. Screw the car then. She threw the door open and yanked her bag out of the backseat before locking and slamming it shut. She started walking off until Jesse caught up with her.

"Now what are you doing," He said easily making her stride.

"The car won't start so I'm calling someone to come a fix it."

"At this hour on a Saturday?" He asked her.

"Fine I'll call a cab to come and get me," She said stubbornly.

"And drive you 4 hours to Lima? How you gonna get back?"

"I'll take another cab back,"

"Rachel,"

"Or Noah will drive me,"

"Rachel, stop," He said grabbing her arm.

"Or I'll take the van and bring it back,"

"God, Stop! Do you hear how crazy you sound?"

"I have to go home," She told him.

"Rachel, you're tired. You really did try but I don't think it's going to be possible"

"No!" She said to him, giving him the brunt of all her emotion. "I have to go home Jesse. I have a family; people that love me and care about me and support me. People that I have hurt! I need to go home and I need to make it right. I'm her mother and I'm supposed to be there! She got her license today and I missed it. I missed everything! I'm going. I'm going home to my family" She said finally being able to cry again.

Jesse didn't respond as he watched her break down in the parking lot. She was a mess. Her beautiful makeup for the shoot was smudged and running. He just calmly walked up to her. Took her bag off her shoulder and pulled her into a hug. Rachel didn't really having energy to resist. She didn't say a word when he quietly led her back to her room. She didn't speak when he laid her on her bed still fully clothed. She didn't even speak when he kissed her forehead before leaving. She just cried until she slept.

When she woke up the next morning; there was a note from Jesse sitting on top of a bill for a mechanic.

Just go in, she told herself. Stop being a coward.


It was week later and Rachel found herself sitting in the driveway of her home. Professionally wise this week was a lot easier than her past ones. After her emotionally packed rehearsal on Friday night everyone kind of gained a new respect for her and kind of backed off. Jesse treated her with a little more care and made sure she got more rest.

On the inside though, this was a horrible week for Rachel. She didn't call Noah. She knew even if she tired he wouldn't answer. To make matters worse even the kids didn't have time to talk to her this week. They were so busy with whatever was going on here she barely got a five minute conversation out of them. So here she was a week later finally home where she belonged and afraid to go in.

What if they were still mad at her? What if the kids turned their backs on her and Noah kicked her out saying she didn't belong? What if she was rejected by her own family? Rationally speaking she knew she was being a tad bit over dramatic but with the week she had she allowed herself a few more moments of torture. She swallowed hard and got out of the car.

Do I ring the doorbell, she thought. That just seemed silly. She wasn't a guest or was she? No she wasn't. She thought as she took her house key out and unlocked the door. It was now or never.

When she walked into the house she was taken aback by how clean everything looked. Not like she thought it would be a complete train wreck but she knew her husband and children weren't the neatest people on the planet. She was also surprised by how quiet it seemed. Granted it was eight in the morning.

She knew someone was up however because she could the TV was on low in the living room and smell of eggs and biscuits was filling the house.

"Hey asshat, put it back on Justice League." Caleb called from the kitchen.

"No, I wanna watch Phineas and Ferb" Sarah called back from the living room still keeping her voice was relatively low.

"Fine, make your own damn breakfast," He told her his voice just as low. Making breakfast? Was Caleb cooking? She didn't know he knew how to cook considering he had trouble making toast without burning it.

"Fine, you're such a butt head,"

Rachel sat her bag down and quietly closed the door.

"You hear that," Caleb whispered. Sarah put the TV on mute. Rachel heard him sneak around the corner of the kitchen. He came around still in his Pajamas, spatula in hand ready to attack until he saw her.

"Mom," He said in disbelief as he dropped the spatula to the ground. "Mom," He yelled before he ran forward and pulled her into a big hug.

"Hi sweetie," Rachel said as he hugged her tightly. She swallowed back her tears. He'd grown so much in these past few months. Still taller than her and his hair was cut a little shorter that she remembered.

"I really missed you," He mumbled into the hug.

"I missed you too," She said back to him.

"Mom," She heard Sarah call from behind her. Caleb pulled back and gave her a kiss on the cheek before stepping aside.

"Hi" She said brightly to Sarah before she pulled her in her arms and hugged her tightly. She too had grown. Now she was almost Rachel's height and her hair was longer and fuller.

"Gosh what are doing here," Sarah said.

"I'm here for the weekend. I really missed you guys." Rachel explained. Sarah pulled back from the hug.

"We really missed you too mom. A lot" She said.

"Why didn't dad tell us you were coming we would've cleaned up a bit" Caleb said looking around as if it wasn't already clean enough.

"Or at least put some clothes on," Sarah said looking down at her own pajamas with bunnies on them.

"He…um. He didn't know either. I wanted to kind of surprise you guys. All of you." Rachel said.

Sarah and Caleb looked at each other with big grins. The type of grins that normally means trouble. "Wait a minute so you're here and dad doesn't know you here?" Sarah clarified. Rachel nodded.

"Oh, this is going to be good" Caleb said. "I can't wait to see his face when he sees you." He says to her before thinking about it. "Scratch that. I don't want to see his face or anything that happens after he sees you. With you guys around things get rated R really fast."

"Oh gross! Now I'm thinking about what dad said about the table." Sarah said. They both shuddered.

"Where is your father?" Rachel asked trying to get the conversation back on track and away from her and Noah's sex life.

"Upstairs sleep." Caleb said.

"OSU had a big game last night and asked dad to fill in for the offensive coach." Sarah explained.

"Yeah, apparently the old coach accidently fell down some stairs and broke both of his legs." Caleb said.

Rachel could see him and Sarah trying not to laugh. Her eyes went down suspiciously.

"You guys didn't push him down the stairs did you?" She asked.

"What?"

"No"

"And even if we did they can't prove anything," Caleb said before him and Sarah both burst out laughing. Rachel looked at them with her eyes wide in horror. Technically this wouldn't be the worst thing they've done by a long shot but it was still pretty bad.

"Mom, relax," Sarah said catching her breath. "We're kidding."

"It's not our fault the guy's clumsiness is dad's gain. Even if we did plan to do it eventually," Caleb said gigging.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You two," She said before giggling herself. "I really missed you guys."


Puck was half awake and half sleep. If he tried hard enough could wake himself up fully. But he didn't want to do that. So he just laid there and tried not to think. Maybe he'll fall back asleep in a few minutes. He just didn't have the energy to do it today. He did want to have to get up and pretend like it didn't fucking hurt to be in an empty bed. He didn't want to have to do any of it. So maybe if he just lay here he could put it off for a little while longer.

He felt the bed dip down beside him and knew he must have fallen back to sleep. Even in his dreams all he could do was dream about her. In his more naughty dreams she'd be putting her hands down his pants by now but his mind wasn't giving him one of those dreams. Right now it was just giving him her and he was thankful.

This one seems more realistic than the others though. The smell of her was so real. It was almost as if he could taste her or feel the heat of her right beside him. Okay that's enough of this, he thought. It was time to open his eyes and see the emptiness beside him. He had his fun with dream Rachel but now it was time to get up and deal with real life. Puck sigh in disappointment before cracking his eyes just a peak to ease himself into consciousness.

Holy Shit! He thought and closed his eyes tight. I've lost my fucking mind. I've finally snapped and now I'm seeing hallucination of Rachel. After all there was no fucking way that she was laying down in the bed beside him right now. Rachel's in Chicago, he told himself. This was not real.

Warm lips hesitantly reached out and touched his, only for a few moments and then pulled back. That felt fucking real.

Puck took a chance and opened his eyes and was staring right into hers. And at that moment he knew he was awake and this was real life. There was no way he can dream how beautiful she actually was. No way in fuck his own mind can capture that scent, that was all her, that never ceased to drive him wild and want her. No, this was real and Rachel was with him.

"Hi," She whispered.

"Hi," He said back his voice was thick with sleep. She reached out a shaky hand and touched his lips. He kissed them gently and relished in her taste.

"Noah," She said. "I…" She didn't get it out because he leaned forward and kissed her like he wanted to.

He didn't care what she had to say. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was there. She was home and she was in his bed, their bed. The rest of the shit they could figure out in a few hours after he'd had his fill of her. Right now he just wanted to be with her, hold heir, touch her and love her like he hasn't gotten to do for the past few months. And he did just that.


By time Rachel woke up, the sun was setting in the sky. She hummed to herself and stretched her body feeling completely content. Rachel bit her lip and tried not to smile. Noah insisted they did not leave the bed for the first couple hours she was back and she did nothing to stop him. Afterwards she fell asleep completely spent. It was odd this was best rest that she had in months. She snuggled deeper into the covers inhaling the scent of Noah and just enjoying the feeling of her own bed.

After a moment though she started to feel guilty; she was home and all she was doing was sleeping. She should be downstairs with her family stealing every spare moment she has with them until she's taken away again.

She got up and slipped on some sweat pants and one of Noah's t-shirts. She didn't even bother putting on a bra. This was home and she could be whoever she wanted to be here. She open the bed room door and was hit with the aroma of dinner being cooked and the sound of her family.

When she entered the kitchen she saw them dancing around and singing while cooking. Noah was at the stove moving his hips while he sang out Ain't No Mountain High Enough. Caleb was at the sink doing the dishes and singing into the sprayer while Sarah stood at the counter chopping. Rachel covered her hand over her mouth so she didn't interrupt them. This is what she missed most of all.

Caleb did a turn. "Don't you know that there, ain't no-Mom," He said jumping back startled and dropping a dish in the sink spraying suds all over him.

Sarah burst out laughing at him while Puck turned the music down.

"Hey sleeping beauty," He said coming up to her and kissing her deeply. Rachel tried to stifle her moan but didn't hesitate to put her arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. "Mmm, no bra," He mumbled to her brining his hand up to cup her through his shirt. "That's hot babe,"

"Adolescents are still in the room!" Sarah called from behind them.

"Later," Puck told her before pecking her on the lips. Rachel just giggled.

"Gross! Can you guys attempt to not dry hump each other in the kitchen," Caleb said.

"Only if you two can attempt not to be a pain in my ass" Puck said brushing some suds out of Caleb's hair.

"What can I help with," Rachel asked.

"Nothing, we got it all taken care of," Sarah told her.

"Actually dad's got it all taken care of. We were just helping out a bit before we skip out," Caleb told her.

"You're leaving?" She asked them "But I thought we could have a nice family dinner together,"

"Sorry mom but we got plans," Caleb told her.

"Yeah and we figured you and dad could use a night together. You know catch up…fall back in love," Sarah mumbled the last part. Caleb nudged her.

"Breakfast though! We'll have a big family breakfast," He said to smooth things over.

"Okay I think she gets why you're ditching her," Puck said playfully.

"Oh gosh, you don't really think we're ditching you mom do you?" Sarah said worried. "Cause we'll cancel,"

"No," Rachel said. "Of course I don't. We'll do breakfast tomorrow. You guys go out. Have fun. Hang out with your friends." Rachel looked over at puck. "I'm sure your father can keep me entertained for a while."

"Actually I'm headed out on a date" Sarah beamed.

"Oh…" Rachel said awkwardly. " I wasn't aware you were dating"

"Well it's still fairly new but daddy finally gave Chris permission to take me out. Even though him and Caleb followed us around the whole time and dad almost tackled him when he wiped food off my lip but it still great. We're out again tonight."

"And I'm playing undercover chaperone" Caleb told her. "Speaking of which we gotta go, I told Chris to meet us at 6:30. You know how I hate the restaurant wait." He said teasingly.

Sarah scoffed and rolled her eyes before storming out of the room. Caleb went to follow before Puck stopped him. "Hey just remember this is still a date ok. You're there to torture him not her,"

"Gotcha dad," He said trying to leave before puck pulled him back again.

"And we got invitationals in 5 days so don't do anything stupid with your voice" Puck added.

"Okay." He told him. "Later mom,"

"Bye sweetie" Rachel said trying to keep her voice normal.

They heard the door slam shut. And for a few moments the music was the only thing to fill up the silence. Rachel cleared her throat. "What are you making?"

"Eggplant parmesan just how you like," He said. Rachel just nodded her head in response. "And I got some wine for us," He said pulling it out of the fridge and bringing two glasses over. He popped the cork and poured them both a glass.

She took her glass and took a small sip with him. Puck sighed. "What's wrong?" He finally asked her.

"Nothing," She said trying to make her voice normal.

"Did you really want them here for dinner? Cause if you did I'll call them back and we'll do a big old happy family dinner bit"

"No, it's not that Noah really," She said

"Then what is it. Cause I'm not gonna sit here with you moping all night and killing the mood," He joked.

Rachel sighed. "She's dating?" She finally said. "That just took me by surprise, I guess."

Puck ran his hand through her hair awkwardly. "Well you had to know this was coming. He came up and asked me man to man. The boy couldn't keep his eyes off her for two seconds. Plus she's 16 now and you know,"

"I do." She said quietly. "I just thought that maybe you would tell me. You know see how I felt about it or something. You know it's a big moment and you didn't include me. Did you take pictures or help her get ready."

"No, I didn't do any of that shit. It wasn't like that. Look I don't want to fight okay. You're here. You look fucking gorgeous. Just…let's not fight over little shit now,"

"I just want to know why you wouldn't tell me about our daughter dating. It's not little Noah, it's big. You know how that makes me feel as a mother. Not being there to give my advice or in put. You know I didn't have a mother and I didn't want her going through things like that alone."

Puck turned back to the food and avoided her gaze. He tried to keep his voice even and as unthreatening as possible. "I know you didn't, babe. And I'm really sorry but you weren't here and I had to do something to save her birthday."

It was quiet for a few beats before Rachel could respond. "So that's what this is about. What are you trying to like punish me because I couldn't make it? Because that's really low Noah even for you."

Puck turned around to face her. "Fuck! No, I wasn't trying to punish you or whatever other crazy shit you're thinking. But the fact is she failed her test and the one thing she really wanted wasn't going to be there. So what the fuck was I supposed to do Rachel?" He stopped himself. "I don't wanna do this shit." He said "Just drop it,"

"I want you to know that I tried Noah. Despite whatever you're thinking about me I tried," She didn't know what she was doing. She knew she needed to drop this before they ended up really fighting but she couldn't. She had to justify herself. Let him know that she wasn't the bad guy.

Puck just sighed. "Yeah, well not hard enough," he mumbled.

Rachel got up from her chair and met him face to face. "Not hard enough? I left rehearsal and went straight to the hotel that night. I was gonna drive back at eleven that night so I could be here only for a few hours then drive back in the morning. And I would have been here if the stupid car would start. So don't tell me I didn't try."

"Something's wrong with the car?" Noah asked momentarily taken out of the heat of the argument that was brewing. "What's wrong with it? How did you get here?"

"I don't know it just wouldn't start when I tried to come home last week. Jesse called a mechanic and took care of the whole thing." She said taking a calming breath and backing down from the fight as well. Maybe this was stupid. She realized she said something wrong about a half a second too late.

"Wait, something was wrong with the car and you had St. Douche take of it?" He took a step back from her.

"No, it wasn't like that. I fell asleep and he just made some arrangements to have the car fixed on the weekend."

"You fell asleep? Where in his bed? Is that how you get him to take care of shit?" Puck said harshly

"Noah…" She said in a warning tone. This was going down a very dangerous path.

"No, don't Noah me. This is bull shit! You get pissed at me for me for letting Sarah date. Something I only did to cover for your clusterfuck on her birthday. But then you go right around and not tell me about my own fucking car not working and have this asshole pay for it. Its bull shit Rachel and you know it!"

"Bull shit!" She questioned. "What's bull shit is that you don't tell me anything Noah. It's like you cut me out of everyone's lives the second I left Lima. I didn't know she didn't get her license, Noah. I didn't know that invitational was next week. I didn't even know that Caleb could do dishes because you don't tell me anything!"

"They're your fucking kids! Why should I have to tell you? If you talked to them every once in while you'd know this shit." He said walking over to the stove and turning it off. "And don't come at me with that bull shit. I don't tell you shit because you don't care."

"Ooh I don't care," she scoffed

"Yeah you bounced off to Chicago and just said fuck you to the rest of us. I've been doing this on my own for the past three months with no support from you."

"I don't support you?" She questioned.

"Yeah I said it,"

"You don't support me!" She shouted at him. This was full-fledge fight now. Neither one of them was really listening. It was just pointless stabbing and throwing things in each other's face. They haven't had one this bad in years.

"Bull shit I don't support you?" He said slamming down the oven mit. "That's all I've ever done. That's all I still do. That's what this damn whole thing is about. You running off with that son of a bitch and being famous while I take care of all the shit you left at home."

Rachel was so angry she didn't know what to do. If she were wearing shoes she'd throw one right now. But she wasn't so she had to throw the closest thing she had to her. She picked up the wine glass and hurled it at his head. His many years of practiced allowed him to be able to dodge it and it shattered on the cabinet behind him. "What are you fucking crazy?" He yelled.

"Jesse was right," she shouted back "You don't understand anything that I go through and you never will. You don't support my career or even respect it. You have no idea how hard I have work because it's beyond your capability to comprehend"

"Oh so that's why you're fucking St. Douche? And here I was thinking it was just for your career," He said sarcastically.

"I'm not fucking anyone!" She yelled back at him. "Jesse understands me. He knows what's what it takes. And he's supported me every step of the way. You don't get it Puck!" She yelled finally saying his name. Only this time he's too far gone for it to even affect him. "And you never will because-"

"Because I'm a lima loser, right?" he said quietly. "Right?" He yelled. "I'm a fucking Lima loser! I've never been anywhere or done anything with my life and you can't stand it because that makes you a Lima loser too!"

"I didn't say that," She said quietly

"You didn't have," He told her.

At that point they heard keys in the door. They took a moment to step back from each other and to catch their breath.

"Hello! Children are entering the house." Sarah yelled.

"Yes, please right your selves so we don't see anything traumatic," Caleb said

"Children are entering the kitchen and are hoping that parental units are properly dressed." Sarah said as they made their way to the kitchen.

When they got there they stood in the doorway and surveyed the seen. This was defiantly not what they were expecting. After so many years they've learned to survey a scene of a fight and by the looks of it mom and dad just got into a pretty big one. They took in the broken glass and the wine spilled. "Hey what happen?" Sarah asked curiously

"Oh…um," Rachel said clearing her throat. "I tripped and broke a glass. Its no big deal," She said to them.

"Okay?" Caleb said. Something was definitely off. "Well we got half way to his house when Chang decided to inform us that he has a sinus infection. And with Invitationals right around the corner we're not risking it. So we came home."

"Oh, but if you need us to we can, go upstairs, put our headphones on and pretend like we're not here so you can get back to your night."

"No, that's fine sweetie. I'd love to spend some time with you guys." Rachel said walking up to her children not even bothering to meet Noah in the eye. "Why don't we just order a pizza and watch a movie?" She suggested.

"Okay?" Sarah said confused looking between her mother and her father. She gave a look to Caleb and he just shrugged.

"You guys go head. I'll clean this up and order the pizza," Puck finally spoke.

The rest of the night was filled with awkward tension that they all pretended wasn't there. Rachel and Noah didn't speak or make eye contact. Caleb and Sarah caught on soon enough that their parents weren't happy with each other. They tried to do the best they could to smooth out the night but it didn't work.

That night while Rachel and Puck were in their room getting ready for bed, he finally broke the silence. "Look I'll go sleep in the guest room if you want, just to make things easier."

She looked up at him in the bathroom mirror and met his eyes for the first time since the fight. They haven't had a fight like this in years. Not big enough for Noah to sleep else where. Even after a fight she would crawl downstairs or into the guess room or wherever he was and fall asleep. This felt so strange. "I don't want you to go," She told him quietly.

Puck just nodded and headed to get in the bed. When she was done; she shut off the light and climbed in on the other side. In the dark he reached out and pulled her into his arms like they always slept before she left.

"I love you," He told her quietly

"I love you too," She told him back.

And for right then it was the only thing that mattered. They'd deal with the rest of it in the morning.


Okay really! What did you expect? But things will get better I promise. AND next chapter Caleb gets some love so that'll brighten our moods.

To answer one question. I don't know how long this is going to be. At this point I'm hoping 20 chapters but we'll see if the characters will let that happen. BUT I will be updating more regularly.

I hope everyone enjoys. Please please please review. Let me know if you hate it or love it or feel blah about it. Review and say a nice welcome back to me. Tell me if I still got my writing groove or not.

That's all for now.

Thank you! Review!