Memoir / Chapter 11

I awoke to the familiar chatter of the twins. Sunlight flooded our bedroom, alerting me that we had slept in quite late. Clark, still snoring lightly, had his arm wrapped tightly around me, pinning me to the mattress.

"Great Lois!" They exclaimed excitedly as they began climbing onto the bed.

"Well hello." I whispered. "Keep it down guys. Grandpa is still sle—"

"Granpda, what happened to your pants?!" One of the twins had gone around to the other side of the bed, making a starling discovery.

"Hmmh?" Clark asked groggily.

"You're pants are gone."

Clark's eyes flew open at Joey's announcement. He blinked, hoping to chase the cobwebs out of his brain and replied, "Someone must have taken them. Do you guys want to help me see if we can catch the thief? You and your brother go downstairs and start looking for clues. Go. Hurry."

The minute the twins were out of the room, I erupted in laughter. Clark tossed my pajamas at me and then pulled on flannel pants and a t-shirt.

"You better get dressed—you know they won't be gone long."

I hurried to get dressed, still quaking with laughter. I followed Clark down the stairs.

"Hey guys—I found them. The thief must have gotten scared and dropped them."

"But I wanted to look for clues." Jerry pouted.

"Me too!"

"It's okay. We'll play a different game. But not until I make some breakfast for Grandmama—deal?" Clark playfully mussed their curls. "Will you help me?"

Both boys beamed. They loved to help.

"What's going on Grandpa? Was there a break-in?" Our grandson Samuel was in the kitchen.

"No, nothing to worry about. What brings you here?" Clark asked him as he handed a bowl and some eggs to the twins. They quickly set to work breaking the eggs into the bowl—complete with bits of shell.

"Ashley and Richard have an ultrasound appointment today and she asked me to watch the boys."

"We would have watched the kids. We're right here. I wonder why she didn't just ask us." I said.

"That's why I'm here. She was going to ask you and she called all morning and there was no answer. She was running late and couldn't come over herself. So, she brought the boys to me. Then I tried your line all morning and still couldn't reach you. I was worried, so I came out."

"Thanks for your concern, but we're fine." I said. I sat down at the island and began sifting the eggshells out of the pancake batter.

"Why are you two still in your pajamas? It's after noon."

"We didn't get to bed until after sunrise." Clark informed him as he set about making coffee.

"And?"

"And?" Clark shrugged. "And what?"

"Why didn't you go to sleep until after sunrise? What is this talk of a thief?

"It's no-"

"Uncle Sammy, a thief came and stolded granpa Clarks' pants. But he got scared and left them behind." Joey announced absently as he continuing cracking eggs.

"What?"

"Sam, it's nothing. The twins came upstairs and started to climb into bed with us and the blankets had fallen away on Clarks' side of the bed and they discovered that Clark didn't have any pants on." I offered.

"WHAT??" His eyebrows shot up and his face colored as he came to understand not only why we were being evasive, but also the reason for our dalliance in the bedroom. "You're kidding me. I can't know this."

"Oh, grow up." Clark said.

"Just because I am in my forties doesn't mean I have to act mature about the idea of my grandparents doing it."

Clark lowered his voice just above a whisper and said in a 'you're-not-too-old-to-be-spanked tone. "Sam. I will not tolerate that disrespectful tone around your grandmother. Now shut your mouth this instant and drop this topic. Understood?"

"Yes sir." He said contritely. "I'm sorry grandfather. I didn't mean to show disrespect."

Clark nodded and clapped his hand on Sam's shoulder. "I know son, I know. You owe somebody else an apology."

Sam came over to me and put his arm around me and hugged me. "I'm sorry grandma."

I kissed his cheek. I felt a little bad for him. I know he didn't mean any disrespect, but I was always a little more progressive in my thinking than Clark. The whole scene reminded me of the day just after I came to stay on the farm and Mr. Kent was scolding us when he believed Clark and I had taken a shower together. It was completely my fault. Of course I wanted to make Clark squirm, but I didn't realize that his parents were going to react the way they had. "It's okay sweetheart. No harm, no foul." He smiled at me with one of his lop-sided smiles. He was a very handsome young man, with green eyes like his father and his mothers' blond hair. He was tall, like John and Clark, with a strong build. But he was extremely shy.

"Grandpa Clark, can I have a chocolate sandwich?" Joseph asked, breaking the tension.

"Yeah—me too. Chocolate sandwich." Agreed Jerry.

"What? No, you can't have chocolate sandwiches."

"Pleeeeeasse?" they whined in unison.

"What's a chocolate sandwich? Is it like a s'more?"

Jerry shook his head in an animated fashion. "No. You put it on bread. Auntie Kara knows."

"She makes 'em for us and cousin Jojo." Joey finished. Clark looked at me to see if anything they were saying made any sense to me. It didn't. I just shrugged. "If I had known about chocolate sandwiches, don't you think I'd be asking for them too?" Clark went to the phone and dialed Kara.

"Kara, this is Clark. Listen, the twins are over and they are asking for chocolate sandwiches. Do you know what they are talking about? . . . Oh, I see. . . Ok, thanks."

"I'm on it." Sammy said, having overheard the conversation. He sped out the door and was back as Clark hung up the phone. "Grandpa, let me take care of this and you can finish breakfast for Grandma." Sammy said as he placed a jar of Nutella on the island.

"Yeah!" The boys nearly screamed.

Sam started to spread the Nutella on the bread."No Uncle Sammy, you gotta toast it."

"Oh." He started to place the slices of bread in the toaster.

"Uncle Sammy—can you cook it with your eyes?" Jerry asked.

"Yeah, use your eye laser!" Joey prompted, enthusiastically. You can imagine what a let-down a clown at a birthday party can be with kids whose uncles and aunts can float and cook things with their eyes.

Sam obliged them and in seconds they were lost in their own happy chattering, feasting on their sandwiches. I couldn't help but smile as I sat there at the island, drinking coffee and watching my two golden-haired angels wearing chocolate smiles.