Matthew's POV
"Prince Matthew," Stavros says. "I hate to pester you about this, but will we reveal to the country about your heart condition?"
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I don't want the country to perceive me as weak. They'll regret having me as king."
This meeting is to discuss upcoming events and what order their occurrences should be. We're postponing Alexandra and Alexander's wedding until King Henry gets worse. Then again, there is that extreme slim chance that they end up falling in love. I just can't imagine what Illéa would think. Would the nation think we're bending to France's every whim because we're desperate? Or will they think that this is the right thing to do?
"Very well then," Humphrey says. "When are you planning the wedding?"
"Around autumn," I reply. "I discussed this with Tess."
"Sir, I hate to impose this, but," Humphrey hesitates. "What if you pass before then?"
"My grandfather passed three years after knowing his condition," I say.
"But who is to say that you have that long until then?" Garrison proposes.
"Well, what do you want me to do?" I retort angrily. "Do you want Tess and me to run away to some other province and elope?"
"Absolutely not," Father says across from me. "We will be there for your wedding, and so will you. The scientists are hard at work to finding a cure, and speaking of which, they want to check on you later at the Children's Hospital at around three o'clock."
I check the clock and it's about noon. "Meeting adjourned," Father announces.
I stand and sigh. "I know you still haven't told Tess yet, though I don't understand how she still hasn't seen your pacemaker." I open my mouth to explain myself, but Father holds up his hand. "Save it. I know you two spend the night together. Now answer me, how has she not noticed?"
I honestly don't know. Why hasn't she seen it? Is she pretending not to see it? "I think she was looking at my eyes the entire time."
"Well, doesn't she feel it?"
I'm suddenly really nervous. "Just tell her already," he says.
I sigh. "Fine."
I walk to Tess's room with a heavy and irregularly beating heart. I knock and Tess opens the door with a smile. I can't believe her birthday was already two weeks ago and I still haven't told her.
"Hey, Matthew," she says cheerily, her ivory dress making her dark eyes look more prominent.
I hold out my hand. "Love, I need to talk to you."
She looks scared and fearful, but she takes my hand anyway. I bring her to Our Tower, and I set her on my lap when I sit down. "Matthew, what's going on?"
"Don't worry," I whisper against her cheek. "I'm not breaking up with you."
She pulls back and touches my face. "What's wrong?"
I sigh heavily. "Do you know the cause of my Grandfather Shalom's death?"
She nods. "I was reading, and I saw that he died of a heart disease."
I gulp, trying to swallow my tears. "The disease was genetic," I say, taking a deep breath. "My heart is shitty, and I need a machine to help me live."
She stays quiet to absorb this. "When did you know?" she asks. Tess looks confused and heartbroken. Her face is pain and anguish and sadness all rolled in one.
"We were in France, and my heart hurt so much. Then I blacked out. That's why we came back so late. I was asleep for six days. It's like the driver hit the brakes, and I just stopped going."
We're quiet for a while.
I take her soft hand and put it over where my pacemaker is. "Do you feel that?"
"Is that why that bandage was over it?" she whispers. "And is that why you didn't want to go diving, and when we played Chicken we did it in water that came below your chest?"
I nod. "How didn't you not see it before I started wearing shirts to bed the night of your birthday?"
"I just focused on your eyes, and when I saw the bandage I didn't ask because I assumed if it was important you'd tell me." Tears stream down her eyes, and she puts her arms around my neck. "Matthew," she whispers. "God, you're so stupid."
"I know, love. I just didn't want to worry you."
"Why did you take me to the Boardwalk? Your heart could have stopped on any of those rides!"
"It was worth it to see you smile," I say with a sad smile.
"I hate you so much." But as she says it, she embraces me tighter.
"I have maybe three more years before I, um, you know."
"Matthew," she says. She says it over and over.
"I know, love. I know."
Tess pulls back to look in my eyes, her forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry."
"I don't want you to pity me," I say as firmly as I can with my shaking voice. "And besides, we have three years. That's enough time to make out and do other stuff." I smirk at her, and she laughs despite the tears in her eyes.
"Why is this so damn hard? Why can't we simply exist with nothing holding us back?
"Because existing is not the same as living."
We're silent again, and I say, calmly, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I wanted to give you infinite years when, in truth, I only have three."
"Matt..."
"I'm still me," I say, quieting her. "My heart, the most 'powerful' muscle in the human body, is just lazy. It's a little girl, skipping beats here and there."
"You're so stupid and poetic."
"See? I'm still not a lost cause."
Tess opens her mouth but quickly shuts it.
"I have an appointment later at three. Scientists are researching a cure as we speak, though I think it's a little ridiculous to find a cure for something genetic. That's like trying to rearrange your genes to give you red hair instead."
"May I come with you?" she asks gently. I nod. And we're quiet.
Tess sighs heavily. "I feel like I'm playing a game and Life tricks me into thinking I'm winning. And it's only until a few moments later that I realize Life cheated." She laughs against my neck. "I'm so sorry I'm being self-absorbed. I just...I can't imagine a world without you. I'd rather die than lose you."
"Hey," I say, rubbing circles on her back with my thumb. "Don't talk like that. You're going to accomplish so many things."
"But what if you're gone before you're king?"
"I'm sure my father would abdicate to let us on the throne. And when I die, you can remarry another man to—"
"No," she cuts me off. "I will not rule a day of my life without you by my side."
Silence.
"Three years," she mumbles. I kiss the tears on her face, give her one on her nose.
"That's plenty of time. We're still getting married," I say, managing a small grin.
She laughs but ends up crying more. I kiss her lips with everything I have, and I'm pissed because I can't tell if the tears I'm tasting are hers or mine.
:(
I can't believe I have a hundred reviews already. I want to be happy, but this chapter was sad. And I was listening to "Habits" by Tove Lo and the chorus made me cry as I was writing this.
ReadLikeYouMeanIt- You're good at guessing :) Thanks so much!
LovableL101- I'm glad you liked the Mess :) Thank you!
agb1700- A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.E.R. review :) Lurve ya!
NalissaPatali- He told her. Thanks for reviewing!
lilythemermaid- Heehee I'm glad you saw that :) At first I thought you were really dating Will and I was like :O Thank you :) LALOL
Athenachild101- I'm glad she was "perfect". :P Thank you!
ilona18- I'm glad you liked your character and no problem! You deserve it. Thanks so much!
Kiren- Haha Korean. I love your name btw. OHHHH Despicable Me. I totally forgot about that haha #blondmoment Thank you!
miaforevez- Haha I haven't read Romeo and Juliet but I'm glad you liked it.
PokemonLuver151- Matthew told her :) *sad smile*Thank you!
LittleMissTori- Haha I can't dance. Oh well. Thank you so much!
winterprincess- THE ROMEO THING! Haha that's their thing :P I don't think they did that to Michael as much because he wasn't the badass prince. But I'm sure the girls pined for Michael too ;)
Love ya!- AcademicGirl
