I looked at the clock it showed 3.30. I haven't slept all night. I sat up in the bed and ran my fingers threw my hair. I couldn't believe that she was gone. The love of my life had just gone away. God why did I say those words?

"Why did you come back?! We don't need you!" I was pissed of.

The words kept ringing in my ears. What if I had let her see Alyssa? Would we be one big happy family again? I started to cry. I shouldn't been so hard on her. I took a out of picture me and Gaby in high school. We were happy at the picture.

"Always and forever…" I whispered to the picture. That was what me and Gaby had promised each other. Love each other always and forever. But always and forever only last 4 years after collage. I put the picture down and fell a sleep. The next morning ignored the stupid clock that kept ringing. But at some point I was getting so annoyed at it so I turned it of and went down stairs. Alyssa already sat by the table eating her breakfast.

"Morning" I said shortly to her… We didn't talk as much as we used to. It was like a wall had come up between us when Gabriella passed away.

"Hi… Uhm Lynn having a sleepover on Saturday… Can I go?" She asked. This was the kinda stuff we talked about now. Before we used to laugh and teasing each other,

"Sure… Just be home on time on Sunday." I said drinking my coffee. We ate our breakfast in silence.

"I'm taking the bike to school.." She put the dishes away and walked out the hall. "Bye dad!" She shouted.

"Bye honey!" I shouted from the kitchen. When the door slammed I felt tears running down my checks. I hated how Gabriella death affected me. I did the dishes then I went upstairs and change clothes. I looked at the wardrobe door next to mine. Gabriella's wardrobe. I haven't looked in it sense she left ten years ago. I wanted so bad look in it but I couldn't bring my self to open it. It was my fault she was dead.. It was my fault she left ten years ago.. If I only had kept my promises we would be a big happy family. I walked out of the house and drove to work. I tried to focus on the play the team was playing but it was hard. When I got home Alyssa had write a note telling me that she was at basketball practice. I looked in the refrigerator and decided it was macaroni and cheese to dinner today. The doorbell rang I opened it and saw it was Chad and Taylor.

"Hi guys…" I said. They took Gabriella's suicide better then me but still took it very hard.

"Hi.. Can we come in?" Taylor asked.

"Yeah sure come in.. I was about to make dinner are you hungry?" I asked my friends.

"No not really… We ate an hour ago" Taylor said.

"Like that had stopped Chad before." I said and we all laught a little.

"She came here just a few weeks before she killed her self…" I finally said.

"She did?" Taylor looked at me like I was lying. We went in to the living room and sat down just talking.

"I haven't told Alyssa that Gabriella came here… Should I do that?" I looked at my friends.

Chad took a deep breath.

"She needs to know that her mom came to see her… Otherwise she might think that Gabriella didn't wanted to have her…" Chad said.

"Yeah you are right…" I answered him. We sat quiet for a moment. When I heard Alyssa scream.

"How the hell could you!?" She screamed at me.

"Alyssa! Don't you raise you voice at me!" I screamed back.

"You didn't even consider me in you choice? Telling my mom to leave us alone? Did ever make sense to you I wanted her here!?" She screamed at me. "No! You didn't because the only person you think of is yourself!" Then came those words a parent never wants to hear. "I hate you!" She stormed out. I could see in her eyes she meant it.

"I'll go talk to her" Chad said knowing she was at the basketball court we had in the backyard.

"Can I join you?" He asked Alyssa that shot hoops.

"Sure…" She threw the ball to Chad.

"Why did he tell her to leave?" Alyssa asked Chad.

"He wanted to protect you Alyssa" Chad said and shoot the ball into the basket.

"Is that why I have heard him every night for the last week 3.30 every time open a draw say something and cry… Then he fall asleep. Is he to scared to show weakness in front of his own daughter? I just don't get it…" She said while missing a shot.

Alyssa loved Chad. He always listen to he and played basketball with her. They were almost like best friends.

"As you know they met in high school and it was love at first sight and they become indistinguishable and they promised each other in high school to love each other always and forever… But when Troy started to play for the Lakers he broke his promises so many times that she was sick of it, and she blamed him for not going to Duke or Harvard but it was her choice I know if they wanted it to work they could have made it they were so in love…He blames him self for her leaving and her death… So take it easy on you old man he is trying his best.." Chad said to Alyssa that was listening close on what her uncle or at least the closest she would have as an uncle.

"I didn't mean it when I said I hated him… I was just so angry and didn't know what to say…" She shot in the basket.

"Don't tell me this tell him…" Chad pointed at the door. "I think he will understand… He was once a rebellious teenager him self.. Trust me I know!" Chad said.

"Thanks Chad… Once again you have helped me…" She hugged him and went in to the house. But Taylor had not succeeded to calm me down. Alyssasaw that and decided to go for a walk.

"Were are you going?" I asked my daughter.

"I'm going out… I'll come home when you have calmed down!" She said and slammed the door.

The hours just flew buy and Alyssa hadn't come home jet. I didn't like the idea that my little girl was out on the streets of L.A alone on the night.

"Should we call the police?" Taylor asked.

"No I know were she is.." I said and put on my jacket and drove of to the cemetery. I walked in and saw a young girl sitting on a bench talking to a grave.

"Only crazy people are alone in a cemetery late at nights…" I stood a few foots away from the bench.

"Then I guess I'm a crazy person." She said avoiding eye contact.

"Alyssa I'm sorry… I was a jerk not telling you about your mom…" I sat down beside her.

"You were a big jerk not telling me about her. You know when you told me she had killed her self I thought I was not worth anything for her. Do you ever regret having a child when you were so young?"

"You meant the world to her… Alyssa I have never regret having you…"

"You just say that because you haft to." I saw a tear ran down her cheek.

"Alyssa listen to me.." I said softly. "You are the reason I wake up in the mornings the reason I go to bed at night. When you smile it brightens up my day even it sucked before it. I think if Gabriella and I had children later it wouldn't be you and a day with out you.. I can't even imagine that" I said and whipped her tear away.

"I'm sorry dad for saying I hate you I didn't mean it I promise!" She hugged me and warped my arms around her.

"How was she?" She asked me. "And don't say she was like you…"

I took a deep breath.

"I know you didn't mean it you are a teenager what can I expect. She was amazing. She never cared what anyone thought of her. She was smart she was beautiful and her smile its exactly like yours. You remind me so much of her."

"I love you dad…" She said.

"I love you to Alyssa always have always will. I'm sorry I've been like a mummie these past days and for the fight.." I said to my daughter.

"Don't even worry about it dad it comes with job right?" She said and giggled. ¨

"I guess so. Now let's go home I'm starving!" I said.

"Yeah I'm starving to plus Tay and Chad are still at our house." She got up from the bench and started to walk to the car. I looked at Gabriella's grave and read it,

Gabriella Michelle Bolton

04-09-1973 – 09-02-2008

May she rest in peace.

Beloved daughter friend mother and wife.

You may not be with us here but you are always in our hearts!

We love you Gabriella

I will always love and miss her but somehow it felt easier going on now.

"We soaring flying there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach" I sang to her. The song we had for our call backs the song that made me love her so much… If I just had let her in.

"Dad… can you promise me one thing?" Alyssa came up behind me.

"What baby girl?" I looked at Alyssa and for a second I could swear I saw Gabriella that day on stage in her lab coat smiling wide.

"Promise me you wont blame you self for mom death?" She looked at me.

"I promise baby girl." I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

We walked out from the cemetery

From that day Alyssa and I just become closer and we trusted each other more. We visit Gabriella once a week. Alyssa became like Gabriella more every day she was smart she was beautiful and she smiled all the time. One day I took the courage to look threw her wardrobe and found a letter.

Dear Troy!

When you read this I'm already gone. I'm sorry that I leave you to raise our daughter alone. But I haft to do was best for me right now. I want to be scientist and I can't be that in Los Angels. I love you and Alyssa to death. But your future is here with the Lakers. I'm moving to London. I'll hope you understand. If Alyssa is anything like you she will be a wonderful person that you can be proud of. I don't know if I will come back but if I do please let in your heart again!

Yours truly

Gabriella!

P.S I love you to death do us part. Like I'd promised in the church.

She had left me an letter. And I found it to late… I hope she understands. I found an old scrapbook she had made with pictures of us in high school of Alyssa when she was a baby and all of our friends. I guess she never stop loving us after all.