Jean had her bad days, and worse. More often than not she made it through the next weeks with a determination not to let the depression get to her, to accept Logan's death was not her own, but there were still moments that left her lying on the floor in tears. Jubliee and Kitty allowed Jean those times with patience and maturity beyond their years, and even lay there with her, finding it helpful to them all to talk about Logan until they were all laughing hysterically. Logan had had that way of making the most sarcastic comment that in hindsight made the situation, no matter how bad, so much less important because he found the ridiculousness of it.
"Do you wonder what Logan was thinking," Jubliee asked, looking to Jean's tear-streaked face.
"I hope he was thinking about smoking cigars."
"Why not us?"
"Because he would have been thinking how he failed us, how he was leaving us alone."
"If he were thinking about cigars he would have been content," Kitty supplied the meaning to Jean's answer.
"Exactly right," Jean smiled.
"If he were thinking about killing, he would have been downright giddy," Jubliee caught herself, unsure if that was inaproppriate.
Jean gave a strangled laugh, wiping her eyes. "Then I hope for that as well."
Even Emma found it in her capacity to show the slightest bit of compassion while she stayed there. After so long with only limited contact, there was a part of her very contented with having Jean and the young Mutant women around. Though it wasn't easy.
Jean had Emma cornered in the bathroom on one particular afternoon that the girls were out with Justin, the blond looking like a child about ready to have a very high-priced tantrum, and the redhead looking back with an expression of hope.
"Why can't you buy yourself the test?"
"Because I don't want the girls to see it. I've already been throwing up every day this week."
"And who have I been screwing, the horses?"
"I don't like to talk about your sexual preference," Jean smirked.
"As if one of you wasn't bad enough," Emma made a disgusted sound.
"Please Emma."
"What if we just go into the city on pretense of shopping and you get one and use it in the restroom?"
"Would you want to take a pregnancy test in a public bathroom? To find out you're having a baby by a dead man?"
"Dead or alive, I would never be in your situation," Emma sniffed.
"Never say never. You may be all-powerful, but you're a woman just like me."
Emma ground her teeth in annoyance, complaining of a headache under her breath. "Fine, I'll do it!"
"Thank you."
"But so help me, if you are I'm not gonna be the godmother!"
Jean waited as patiently as possible while Emma went into town, trying to focus on making dinner. Why was this happening? This was the worst time for it to happen, it couldn't be happening...
"Kitty might be in the running for making dinner as good as you."
Jean looked up at the mention of Kitty's name, and Mac shrugged. "We've talked."
"It was bound to come out sometime," Jean smiled.
"What's on your mind?"
"The future," she sighed.
"Big plans," Mac asked.
"I'm not sure yet, just trying to get used to the idea of it without him."
"Looks bleak doesn't it?"
"We knew each other for years. He was supposed to be indestructible-" she took a calming breath.
"He isn't completely gone, you know."
"I know," she nodded, turning back to the stove.
"What's Emma so pissed off about," Kitty asked, picking an apple from the table.
"I asked her to run into town," Jean answered, trying to hide the anxiety in her voice. "Kitty, can you watch this for me?"
"Sure."
Jean's red hair whipped in the slight breeze and she jogged to the small house, greeted by a sniff and the bag thrust out in front of her as soon as she stepped in the door.
"I owe you," Jean held the plastic bag to her chest as she disappeared into the bathroom.
"Oh, so big time."
Emma had bought three, and Jean used them all, pacing back and forth in front of the sink. She didn't know if she even wanted this, but who was she to decide? There were bigger things in motion besides her own life. A chance that she could have a piece of Logan with her, someone that had his eyes or nose, to prove that he was here and he mattered. It was also a possibility that it was a false alarm, and her body was still trying to get back on track. Her watch beeped, and it seemed everything went into slow motion as she reached to turn the timer off. Taking a deep breath, she stepped up to the sink and looked at the tests.
"Oh."
Emma sat up in the chair as the door opened, looking to Jean's face for the answer.
"Well?"
Jean blinked, tears dripping down her cheeks.
"For Heaven's sake," Emma walked into the bathroom herself. "Oh Jean..."
"If I knew it would leave you speechless I would've gotten pregnant a long time ago," Jean sounded a bit hysterical, chuckling as she wiped away tears.
"What are you going to do," Emma asked, dumbfounded.
"I'm having Logan's baby, there's no other option."
"Are you going to tell the girls?"
"When everything checks out," she nodded.
"If you go to a regular doctor, they'll see your Mutant blood on the test results."
"I know, I was thinking the same thing."
"Imagine, two telepaths with similar thoughts," Emma rolled her eyes.
"You don't have to stay for this, Emma."
"Are you kicking me out?"
"Not if you'd rather stay," Jean shook her head.
"I fancy the thought of seeing you rotund and waddling like a duck," she replied with a smirk.
"I don't want to make a big move, not when I've started this pregnancy off under these circumstances."
"If you don't go to a doctor, Hank would have your hide, not to mention that old man," Emma gestured to Mac outside.
"When's the last time you talked to Hank?"
Emma's eyes darted back and forth searching her mind. "About a month ago, why?"
"Logan...he said Hank was working on ways to mask Mutant bloodtypes, I wonder if he might be able to tell us how that works."
"Shall I tell him about the happy event?"
"No, wait on that," Jean insisted.
"I'm all for it."
Emma came back from her phone call to Hank looking preoccupied, prompting Jean to ask what was wrong. A snapped retort restored Jean's irritation, briskly asking for any information. Emma stuck around just long enough to tell Jean a package was already on its way to her city apartment, and she'd be back with it in tow. In the next few days it came back that Jean was indeed pregnant, two months along to the day, and both mother-to-be and child were Mutant-free (thanks to Hank, and Jean's expertise with his kind of invention).
Jean got by for another two weeks before she took the girls aside to tell them, with her moods out of whack again she knew they were afraid of her going mental.
"Jean, you aren't dying."
"Are you dying," Jubliee paled.
"No, girls. I'm not dying, I'm pregnant."
They stood there for a moment, looking at her with blank faces.
"Logan's baby?"
With a nod, they leaped on her, shrieking excitedly as they hugged their guardian.
"So, they know," Emma looked in on the celebrating with a smirk.
"Emma knew before we did," Jubliee shouted.
"I didn't want to tell you before I was sure. She got the tests for me."
"Just the role I wanted to play in this, the servant of fetching pee sticks."
"Oh come on, Emma. You can be happy for a moment," Kitty smiled.
"A baby," Jubliee grinned.
