Longest chapter to date. Damn. And here I was thinking I would have writers block after the last chapter hah. I'm going to try to make the chapters a little longer from now on. I hope you enjoy this (:
Disclaimer: Characters strictly belong to Stephanie Meyer. I'm only borrowing Bella and Jasper for the time being. Enjoy (:
"So let me get this straight," Jasper said exasperated, "We're leaving?"
They had made their way back to their hotel room after hunting in a friendly race. As soon as Jasper had flopped down on to the bed Bella had announced their departure. A perfect way to dampen the mood.
"Yes," Bella said coming out of the bathroom with another change of clothes. A more appropriate change. "I hadn't planned to leave until sunrise but I checked the weather and it's going to be sunny tomorrow. I was going to brief you on the four shields we're looking for but I suppose we're going to have to do it on the road."
Jasper sat up against the headboard with a grunt. He didn't like not knowing what was happening. Jasper always knew what was next, he always had a plan. "Okay…" he said slowly trying not to come off annoyed.
Bella arched and eyebrow at him while putting away her sweats, "What?" she asked.
"Nothing," Jasper said walking over to his bag. He wanted to be distracted by something.
"Jasper," Bella said sitting down on a lounge chair, "I know we didn't have many…" she waved her hands together in an attempt to describe something, "instances where we uh…talked when I was human but I know when someone is bullshitting me, even someone I hardly know."
Jasper took out a shirt and wondered if he should just change here. She hadn't bothered much with modesty earlier, should he? "I'm just not used to this," he said taking off his jacket.
"What is this?" Bella asked.
"Not having any control," he said grabbing his shirt and pulling it off and onto the bed. He heard Bella gasp but ignored it. "I rarely have to ask someone what the next step is."
"Right," Bella said after a while. Jasper walked into the bathroom to wash his face and change into a new pair of jeans. Alec had chosen wisely when it came to his clothes. He couldn't imagine wearing anything other than levis.
"Maybe we can figure something out on the road," She said putting on a pair of chucks.
Jasper snickered looking at them, "I didn't know the Volturi princess wore chucks."
Tying her laces up Bella straightened out with a laugh, "Volturi princess? That's one I've never heard before." She stood up and walked into the bathroom to tie her hair up in a pony tail, "Rotten, stuck up, and teachers pet yes. But then again Jane doesn't strike me as the type to come up with clever nicknames."
"I don't know what I would do without my boots," Jasper said pointing down at his caiman skin boots.
"Poor gator," Bella said taking a quick look at them, "Aro dies a little inside every time I wear these, he says he wouldn't be caught dead with a bodyguard in sneakers so he established a dress code." Bella laughed out loud while remembering the day he had proposed the idea. The guard couldn't vote on it. Only Marcus and Caius did and she remembered how Caius had jumped on it only to displease her. Marcus was on her side but 2 beat 1.
Jasper looked at the bag of contacts and wondered out loud if he should wear them, "Not yet," Bella said, "Not until sunrise at least."
Together they walked out of the hotel and to the sedan already waiting for them, "When do you do all this?" he asked shocked, "I seriously don't understand how I fail to catch you planning."
Bella laughed lightly as she got behind the wheel, "I'm a ninja Jasper."
"Yeah well, I wouldn't doubt it," he said seriously. "So where are we going?"
"Mont Du Blanc…well sort of," Bella said turning into a steady stream of traffic, "We'll have to leave the car somewhere near the tunnel in France then we're hiking."
"Hiking?" he asked not liking where this was going, "I hate running in the snow," he could boast about being a vampire all he wanted but at the end of the day he was still a cowboy at heart and he didn't want his boots getting wet. "Oh god," he said. Bella gave him a sideways glance, "I just thought about how bad it would be if my boots got wet."
They laughed and mourned the sure death of his boots for a while. The moon was high in the sky that night giving them plenty of light to view the mountains and the lake. They had to drive around to get to the boarder but Jasper didn't mind. He didn't think it could get more peaceful.
"There will be a full moon soon," Bella said staring out her window to take a look at the moon, "More reason to hurry on through the mountains."
"Why," Jasper asked, "Scared of werewolves?" he said joking.
"Yup," Bella said, "Not many in France but you never know."
"Are you serious?" Jasper asked. He knew werewolves had existed for a long time but he thought they become extinct, "They're still around?"
Bella gave him a serious look before nodding, "They're mostly in Russia but some keep to the mountains in certain countries. They're not too dangerous most days but close to the full moon they can change for a while."
"And you've met werewolves before?" Jasper asked taking in the information. He really had to get out of the US a little more.
"Couple times," Bella said nonchalant, "They despise vampires of course so we try to keep a distance but we can't help treat them occasionally. They're not a threat to humans but sometimes they can't control where they change and the humans become aware that the guy down the street isn't just abnormally hairy."
Jasper nodded. No wonder they kept to a rather spacious country. "I've never seen a werewolf," he said, "Now that I think about it Carlisle never mentioned them."
Bella gripped the steering wheel a little too hard and Japer heard a slight crack, "Careful Bella," he said, "I'm sorry, I don't purposely try to bring them up."
"It's fine," she said loosening her grip, "I don't mind Edward much or Rosalie, everyone else though…I didn't see it coming from them. Especially Carlisle."
"What happened Bella," Jasper asked, "You don't have to tell me everything just…something, anything."
Bella sighed and tried to relax. She didn't seem put off by the request so he hoped he was making some progress with her.
"I guess you deserve that much," Bella said in a monotone voice. Dangerously close to her bossy vampire tone, "After the disastrous birthday party I specifically told Alice I didn't want," she started as Jasper tried not to flinch at the mention of his ex, "Carlisle bandaged me up and Edward took me home. I tried to diffuse the situation but of course it didn't work. I never told Edward I didn't want to see you," she looked at Jasper with a sad smile, "I should have fought harder to make him understand that I wasn't scared or frightened. But I thought that if I just let it go so would he.
I should've known he wouldn't. Edward never let's anything go. Then the week went by and no one showed up to school, Edward said he was busy spending time with the family and I just agreed to whatever he said I should do. I mean, I knew it was coming but if I didn't say anything or if I pretended he wasn't about to leave me then I thought maybe it wouldn't happen. I was so naïve."
"You were in love," Jasper said, "We've all been there."
"I was intoxicated with the idea of Edward loving me back," Bella said defensively. "Maybe at one point it was love but towards the end there," she said shaking her head, "I was desperately trying to hold onto him so much that I was letting go of who I was just so I could be like him.
He was the first serious relationship I ever had. I was this teenager with a low self esteem and here come this 100 year old vampire who made me feel beautiful and smart. And I believed it was real but really it was just his bloodlust."
"That's not true," Jasper said. "I don't understand why Edward and the family left but I do understand this gift I have, to feel others emotions. He truly did love you and so did the family-"
"Then why did they leave?" Bella asked gripping the steering wheel again, "Why did he say I didn't belong in his life, why did he say he didn't want me?"
"Bella," Jasper said putting a hand on one of hers and sending her calming vibes, "I don't know but I do have an extremely accurate vampire memory and it tells me that he did love you. However warped or old fashioned it was, he did."
She sighed and relaxed her grip. Jasper let go of her but kept sending her the vibes. He was regretting asking her about this.
"I disappeared," she said once she was thoroughly calm, "he took me into the woods near my house to give me some bullshit excuse as too why the family and him were leaving. Maybe it was real or maybe it wasn't but it was cowardly. Had he truly loved me, he would have fought. And if there was something he had to fix then we could have fixed it together. If he didn't love me and if he truly believed I didn't belong in his world then he should take a look at me now." Jasper smiled as he felt an odd sense of pride in her.
"I was so torn with emotion I stopped thinking clearly. I tried to follow him through the woods but I got lost and then…I just stopped. I wanted to stop living, I wanted to find him and at the same time I didn't. A guy from the reservation found me after a while. I learned later that dad had sent out a search party for me," she stopped talking suddenly. Jasper tried sending her more calming vibes but they only rebounded. Jasper realized it was her shield.
"It's okay, you don't have to tell me the rest Bella. I understand," Jasper said. He noticed how she had called him dad. Every time Charlie had come up in conversation when they were with the Cullen's she always referred to him by name.
"No," she said her voice breaking slightly, "I already started…might as well continue." Jasper half did a back flip and half smacked himself upside the head. He didn't want to cause her more pain but he really, really wanted to know. "No Bella don't, I don't want you to dissolve in a puddle of old memories and venom tears," she mocked Jasper, "So much for one day at a time," she said laughing quietly.
"Sorry," he said rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm torn. I mean it though, we could leave the rest for another day."
Bella checked the time on the car radio and returned her attention to the road, "We have a few hours till sunrise…then a few more until we reach our first check point. It would probably be wise to tell you now…"
"Okay," he said trying not to sound too enthusiastic.
"Anyway," she started up again, "Sam, the guy from the reservation who found me, took me home and when I came too everyone told me they had found me in the middle of the woods, miles from the trail. Well Sam found me. He's a shape shifter."
"Yeah I know," Jasper said wishing he hadn't said anything.
Bella straightened up a bit in her seat, "Yeah, thanks for telling the human."
"We hardly thought it mattered," he said defending his past self, "I mean there was one or two when I left."
"Yeah well when I left there were at least 10," she said laughing at Jasper's shocked face, "It was James, Laurent and Victoria. They caused an explosion in the gene pool." Her tone went back to monotone as she mentioned them, "I've digressed."
"I don't understand," Jasper said, "They weren't there for more than a day."
"I'll get to it, stop rushing me," she said clearly trying to lighten her tone, "After Sam took me home I became a shell of myself. For all intents and purposes I should have been dead. I didn't eat, I didn't talk to anyone, and I hardly slept. When I did I would have terrible nightmares. Nightmares of Edward and the family leaving. Or of James and Victoria. Sometimes they felt so real I could swear it was Victoria who found me on the forest floor and killed me.
Dad had had enough of seeing me like that so he started threatening me with Jacksonville. I was still so infatuated with Edward that I didn't want to leave the only place I shared with him. Albeit I stayed away from the Cullen house but I tried finding anything else that would prove to me that you guys had been real.
Eventually I started hiking again, trying to find the place I shared with Edward. Many attempt's later I did but I soon wished I hadn't. It seemed that Victoria didn't just merrily continue on with her life after Edward killed her mate. I don't know why I never wondered what had happened to her or Laurent. It just goes to show you how absorbed I was in my own problems."
"I killed James…" Jasper said distracting Bella, "Emmet made the fire and I took him apart. Everyone else was with you."
Bella looked at Jasper with a blank expression on her face but eventually nodded, "Well…thank you. I don't think it would have made a difference to her though. Or Laurent. He found me in the meadow Edward had brought me too many times. My scent must have been all over the place. He said Victoria was building an army of vampires. She wanted to take the Cullen's down. That vengeful bitch. It appeared though that she was taking every precaution available because she sent Laurent to spy on the family and Laurent had found the house empty. He told me he could make it easier on me and kill me himself. That what he had planned for me was far less cruel than what Victoria had."
Jasper's hand clenched around the door handle and with his little display of protectiveness came a crunching sound. Bella laughed at what remained of the door handle.
"Careful Jasper," she mocked again. "Don't get your panties in a twist, he didn't even finish his sentence before he was suddenly being chased through the same woods Edward had left me in by a pack of shape shifting werewolves."
"Did you ever think as a human, you would ever say that sentence?" Jasper asked dropping the remains of the door handle on the car floor.
Bella laughed and threw her head back on the headrest, momentarily dropping her shield. Jasper took advantage and sent her an extra dose of happiness.
"No," she said after she calmed down, "But thank you for that."
"No problem," he said.
"I had become close to one of the guys from the reservation, Jacob," she said reminiscing, "He had gone through the change too and he had been one of the ones who took Laurent down. They brought me back to myself. I was starting to feel happy again but knowing that Victoria was out there creating an army of vampires was nerve racking.
I knew the guys were strong and fast but I felt like I had some sort of responsibility to help them. I was just a human though. I already knew that bringing myself to Victoria wouldn't stop her. She wouldn't stop until everyone I loved was dead."
Bella started fidgeting in her seat and Jasper knew that the worst was yet to come, "I remembered the night of my birthday," she said choking up again, "Edward had shown me the portrait of the Volturi. He said that if a vampire wanted to die they went to them. In lame terms he basically told me they were vampire royalty.
It had been a particularly stressful day when it all happened. Dad had been called into work early because they had found a family dead near the lake. The week before, three other boys had transformed in the reservation. We should have seen it coming. We should have expected her to be pissed when Laurent never reported back. She probably thought the Cullen's had killed him or something.
I was so nervous but now I had something to do. I drove to the Cullen house and broke into Carlisle's study. I tried find a number or an address to contact the Volturi. I was so stupid, a vampire doesn't need to write down a phone number or address," she laughed nervously, "but then again it's Carlisle and he writes everything down thank god.
I found an address written down in a note book and I took it. I was so happy, I was going to tell Jacob and Sam that I would fly out to Italy and ask for help. I would tell them I was a friend of Carlisle's and surely that would be enough to get them to stop Victoria."
Bella gripped the steering wheel harshly and pulled out of the traffic onto the side of the road, "If I keep driving I'm going to hit someone," she said nervously looking out of her window.
"Bella," Jasper said taking her hand, "It's okay…"
She looked back at him with tears in her eyes that she would never shed. She nodded, "I know…" Jasper gave her a gentle squeeze, "I returned to the house but it was in shambles…dad had come home too and he must have…he must have run into Victoria," Bella broke down into tearless sobs, "he was on the kitchen floor, just laying there and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't help him."
Jasper pulled Bella into his side and ran a comforting hand up and down her arm. He continued to whisper that it was going to be okay.
"I was in panic mode," she said, her words muffled by Jasper's chest, "I ran upstairs packed a bag and grabbed my passport. I thought that she would come back for me when she realized I was probably not with Edward. I just left him there Japer, I just left him."
Bella grabbed onto his shirt and sobbed uncontrollably. Her body shook but Jasper kept his arms tight around her, "There was nothing you could do Bella," he said trying to soothe her, "You did the right thing by leaving."
"I should have stayed," she said after a while, "I should have let her kill me-"
Jasper held her at arms length and looked into her tearful eyes, "You don't mean that," he said, "You fought and look at you now. Your father would be proud of you Bella."
As soon as he mentioned her dad Bella broke down into sobs and Jasper returned to hugging her. It took her a while longer to come around and when she did she looked like a mess but a mess that somehow had it together.
"I'm sorry," she said sitting back into her seat, "You're right." Jasper nodded letting her fix her hair and shirt but as soon as she was done he took her hand and refused to let go. Bella gave him a gentle squeeze, "I got on a plane to Italy by myself…I sent Jacob a text telling him everything and what I was going to do. He just said he would take care of Victoria, that he wanted me back home. But I didn't see the text until I was in Italy and by that time my mind had already been made up.
I strolled into the castle like I owned the place," she said laughing quietly, "I told the receptionist I needed to see the Volturi because there was a crazy vampire bitch who was killing everyone." Her eyes lit up at that memory and Jasper could feel her relaxing. "I was still in shock over everything but somehow my head was clear enough to give the Volturi the whole freaken story of my life. I told them everything, down to the part where Edward told me he didn't want me.
Of course they were furious that a vampire had broken the cardinal rule of vampirism and they were even more upset that it had been Carlisle who had done it. Caius was all for killing Victoria and paying Carlisle a visit. I begged them not too of course. It was unnecessary because Aro already had a plan. I had told them about how Edward couldn't listen to my thoughts. Aro tried it out himself and he couldn't get into my head. He was fascinated that a human could have such a strong mental shield.
After they deliberated they decided to help." Bella looked out her window with a smirk on her face, "they said they would help on one condition," she held up one finger to prove her point, "that I join the guard."
"Really?" Jasper asked incredulously, "And you agreed?"
"Without a second thought," she said, "I didn't really think it through, like I said; I was extremely naïve. To think they would let Victoria go on with her army of newborns without stopping her just because I didn't want to be a vampire." She chuckled, "But Alexander stepped in and shamed his brother for trying to trick a human."
"Alexander?" Jasper asked, "I thought, wait you met him while you were still human?"
"Yup," she said popping the p, "he asked me if there was something, anything that they could do that would be a better reason to leave my life as a human and become a vampire," He's always been a sneaky bastard," she laughed, "Of course there was." Jasper arched and eyebrow in confusion. "Jacob and the guys from the reservation, I had forgotten about them. I told Aro I would only agree to joining the guard if they promised not to harm them. He wanted me badly enough to not kill me as he should have done. But he complied."
"He did?" Jasper asked shocked.
"Yeah," Bella said dropping her gaze again, "The brother's sent out their best and within the week the army was destroyed but two of the wolves had died in an attempt to stop Victoria. I couldn't face Jacob, I called but he never returned my calls and I couldn't ask the guard which of the wolves had passed.
They…um, they faked my death as well. They took some of the clothes I had brought along with me and left it a bit off the trail. They made it look like I had been attacked."
Jasper took a moment and absorbed all of the new information. What he had imagine Bella had been through didn't compare to what had really happened. He was devastated for her.
"You know," Bella said taking her hand away from his and starting the car back up, "Alexander nearly became my maker," she said pulling into the road, "but I was terrified of him even though he had helped me. Even as a human I knew he was a wildcard. Aro wanted Marcus to change me. He didn't want just anyone from the guard. He wanted it to be someone powerful and old."
"Why not him?" Jasper asked.
"He thought that if he changed me that our powers might somehow counteract. He was fascinated and terrified by the idea. Eventually he decided he would do it. I don't know why, I never asked…at this point everything was hitting me. I wanted to forget that the Cullen's had existed. I wanted to forget about Charlie on the kitchen floor…I just wanted to start again. At the same time though, I wanted to remember everything, so I wrote it down, all of it."
"You're a walking contradiction you know," Jasper said trying to lighten the mood.
"I am," Bella said, "I'm glad I did though. I understand now that everything I went through made me a strong person and vampire."
"It did," Jasper said, "Did you write about me?" he asked. He half expected her to laugh it off and say no.
"Yes," Bella said in a matter of fact tone, "But you'll never know what I wrote."
"Darn," he said as the first ray of sunlight broke through the mountains. He reached over to the back seat and grabbed a pair of contacts. He put them on and sighed. "Do the Cullen's know you're a vampire? A vampire in the Volturi guard?"
"The Volturi princess?" Bella joked, "No, at least I don't think so and if I'm being honest I don't care if they do."
Jasper nodded, "You're not curious though?"
"Sometimes," she said, "When I remember dad or what happened I wonder if they know how much they altered my life. I wonder what would have happened if we hadn't gone out to play baseball that day. Would I still be with Edward? Would I be married to him, or be a vampire? Either way we would have never been equals. That," she said pulling into a line of cars waiting to cross the boarder, "Edward made sure to make clear when he left."
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