Disclaimer: not owning anything still!

Christmas break had begun and I'd spent the entirety so far holed up in my bedroom avoiding my family and most importantly Al. The last time we'd spoken was far from friendly and it was likely that he'd told the rest of our family what a waste of space best friend/horrible person I was. I'd managed up to the 24th December just seeing Mum, Dad and Hugo – though they were curious as to why I had so much 'homework' to do that just couldn't wait. In actual fact I'd finished all my school work within two days and was now just idly reading, sleeping and thinking over my bad life choices. Where did it all go wrong? How had I managed to lose my best friend, end up with next to nobody outside of my family, a non-existent love life and I may have a slight, inconvenient crush on a boy that probably hates me now. If I could go back in time I would; not that I would know where to go to, but anything would be better than the way I'm feeling now.

Maybe I should go back to first year – if I had chosen to be sorted into a different house then my life would be different. If I'd have chosen Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff I would have made different friends, perhaps wouldn't have relied on Al so much, hell, maybe I would have turned into a completely different person. Ravenclaw would have focused my mind on my studies, I would have ignored the trivial drama that seemed to follow me around or possibly Hufflepuff would have taught me to be kinder, to not run away from my problems – from myself. Then again, your house doesn't define who you are, look at Scorpius he was a Slytherin and he definitely didn't act like the rest of them. Merlin, Rose; stop thinking about him. Perhaps he was the problem. I should go back to second year and demand a new partner in muggle studies, maybe skip that class so I was paired with somebody else so that I never realised that Scorpius was not the big, bad Malfoy boy thus I wouldn't have developed a crush on him and my life would be relatively sane. I wouldn't go back to third year – I think I'd like to forget that McLaggen ever happened. Gross. Fourth year. That's when everything changed. Al had enlisted Scorpius' help as a tutor and their friendship began. Yes, I would go back to fourth year and make sure that I became Al's tutor and the two never became friends because the events that then followed would never have happened and I wouldn't be here. I knew it would be Al's fault. Stupid Al.

But...this is all irrelevant because I couldn't go back in time.

"Rosie" Mum peered around my doorway, knocking lightly on the oak door. "Time to go."

"Where?" I asked, turning my book the right way up hoping she hadn't noticed.

"The Burrow" confusion washing over her face. "It's Christmas Eve, you know all the family stay there. You're in your own little world at the moment aren't you?"

"I guess I am." If only she knew – or maybe she did. Mum seemed to know everything else.

"I know it's hard being a teenager." Oh no. I hated talks like this. Someone kill me now. An avada straight to the heart. "I've been there. Your Aunt Ginny told me Al has been the same all holidays, very quiet. Maybe it's your age."

"Maybe." Or maybe it's because he hates me because I am an awful excuse for a human being.

"Whatever is bothering you, it will get better. I promise." I highly doubt that.. "Get your stuff together, we're leaving in 5 minutes. I love you Rose."

We were the first to arrive at the Burrow and were warmly greeted by Nana and Grandpa Weasley, the way we always were. It felt like home, it smelt like home, it was home. This year I would be sharing a bedroom with Lily and Dom, which suited me just fine. Aunt Fleur, Uncle Bill, Victoire, Dom and Louis were the next to arrive followed by Uncle George, Aunt Angelina and their children. Uncle Percy would be spending the holidays visiting Uncle Charlie this year in Romania leaving just the Potter's to arrive. Maybe if I left now nobody would notice.

"I can't wait for tomorrow. It will be Lysander's and I first Christmas as a couple." The Scamander's always spent Christmas day at the Burrow and both families had taken the news of the couple's relationship surprisingly well with both mother's insisting 'they'd seen it coming for years'.

"Stephen said he's going to come round in the evening." Dom added as she started to unpack her clothes. Their relationship status hadn't changed but if him visiting her for Christmas wasn't a sure sigh they were actually dating then I didn't know what was. "James invited Isabella but she said no."

"He what ?" Lily gasped. Though, it really wasn't a surprise. Even I knew he fancied the pants off her.

"She's in Italy visiting family." Dom shrugged. "He said your parents said they could invite one friend and he asked her."

"They did." Lily nodded. "But Lysander was already coming."

"Who did Al ask?" my curiosity got the better of me. Earlier that day as soon as I heard the familiar pop of the Potter's arriving I ran as fast as my legs could carry me up the stairs and into my room so the only Potter I've seen is Lily who came to settle in with Dom and I.

"Don't you know?" Lily and Dom said in unison, glancing between themselves and me nervously.

"Al asked Scorpius." Oh. Well. Merlin help me. I really must have done something terrible in a previous life to deserve this. "His family are abroad anyway so he's been at our house for break. I really thought Al would have told you, though, I suppose why would he, you haven't been talking have you? He's been very quiet Rosie, I think Al is rather upset, I don't know what's gone on between the three of you but it affected him too. You should really so-"

"I get the picture Lily" I snapped without meaning to.

"Don't get angry at Lily." said Dom quickly. "It's not our fault you have some problem with Al and Scorpius."

"I don't have a problem with them." I sank into my bed, curling my knees up to my chest and burying my face. "I don't know."

"Rosie." Lily and Dom both rushed to my bed, feeling the jolt when they sat down. "Please tell us what's wrong."

Maybe I would feel better if I told someone. That's how the saying goes, isn't it? A problem shared and all that. But if I told Dom and Lily, I would lose the last little bit of control I had over my feelings; the part that allowed to me to keep it inside my head.

"I don't know." I mumbled. I couldn't do it any more. I was going to spend Christmas with him, I just couldn't keep it all inside my mind. It was time to let go. "I think, I-I-I th-"

"Deep breaths." Dom squeezed my hand tightly.

"I don't know how I feel." I spoke the words slowly, trying to make sense of them myself, unable to find any comprehension or order in the chaos of my thoughts. "It's not Albus, he hasn't done anything."

"So it's Scorpius?" Lily asked and I nodded in return. "You don't know how you feel about Scorpius?"

"It's different." I said. I knew I wasn't making any sense. I couldn't even understand myself. "It just, sort of happened. Halloween, I told him to call me Rosie and then I couldn't stop thinking about him. There's a funny feeling whenever I look at him, you know?"

"I know." Lily smiled apologetically at me before looking at Dom. "We know."

"So I avoided him and to avoid him I had to avoid Al. I just didn't understand." It felt...good to talk about it. Relief. Calm.

"You were scared of your feelings." said Dom softly.

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably." the room was deadly silent for a moment. "I think I like him. A lot. But he hates me."

"Scorpius doesn't hate you." Lily said. "Neither does Al. They're probably just confused and upset that their friend didn't want to see them. Put yourself in their shoes, you'd be confused too."

"What do you think I should do?" I asked.

"I think you should freshen up, go downstairs, go speak to your friends and apologise." Apologise? "Don't give me that look Rose Weasley, I know the word isn't even in your dictionary but intentional or not you're the one who ignored them and for that you need to say sorry. Sort that out and we'll figure out what to do about Scorpius – you need to be friends again before you think about anything else."

Lily really did have wisdom beyond her years. Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry should be very proud of their daughter.

A/N your reviews make me so happy! What are your thoughts? :-)