A/N: *dodges rotten tomatoes* I know! I know! Don't kill me! I'm EXTREMELY sorry. It's been soooo long since I've had the time to write. Honestly, I'm not going to give you any excuses other than I just lost the inspiration to write! But here it is! A brand new chapter!
Disclaimer: James and Lily, sitting in a tree. J.K. owns them Com-plet-ely.
Chapter 11
(James)
"James?"
James felt relief rush over him as he met the emerald eyes he had so longed to see. His grasp tightened around her small hand.
"Lily," he breathed. "Thank goodness, you're awake."
"What happened?" she asked blearily. Her eyes fell once again on his arm, which rested in a white cloth sling. "Merlin, James. Your arm! Are you okay?"
He couldn't help but chuckle. There it was, typical Lily. She was the one in the hospital wing. The girl had almost died, yet she was still concerned about everyone but herself.
"I'm fine," he assured her. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay," she said. The wince she made when she attempted to reposition herself told him otherwise. James shot her a skeptical look.
"How many times do I have to tell you that you're a terrible liar?" he mused. "Now, I'm going to ask you again, and I want you to answer honestly. How are you feeling?"
She pursed her lips hesitantly before saying, "It hurts, but I'll survive." She looked again around the room. "How long have I been out?"
James didn't know. He had paid no attention to time while he had sat there. He turned his eyes to the windows. The sun was just beginning to touch the horizon, signaling close to seven o'clock.
"You came in last night, and slept all day. They...they didn't know if you were going to wake up," he felt his voice crack. He averted his gaze and collected himself for a moment before continuing. "How—how much do you remember?"
She sighed running her hands through her hair in irritation, as though she was trying to process last night's events.
"I remember you were late to the library...and then I saw you and Severus heading to the Whomping Willow...you both...vanished? And so I went down to yell at you, and... then the wolf showed up. You...you jumped in front of me—I'm assuming that's how you injured your shoulder—and...I tried to get Severus to help me, but he...he just left. Bloody hell, James...that werewolf...it was Remus, wasn't it?"
He nodded. She was too perceptive not to have figure it out.
Lily suddenly grew very quiet.
"James...why was Severus there?" she whispered.
James was caught between a rock and a hard place. He did not want to lie to her; he wanted her to know the truth. But, though he knew that she would never rat him out, he had no way of knowing what she would do if she knew it was Sirius that had led Snape to the Shrieking Shack. So he did what he had to do. He lied.
"It was my fault," he told her softly. "It was only meant to be a joke. I didn't realize he'd go looking for trouble. I just...I just wanted to see the look on his face when he—"
"How dare you," she hissed. "Don't lie to me. You knew the whole time that he would, and he'd probably end up getting himself killed in the process."
"Lily, I didn't, I swear—"
"Potter," she fumed with exasperation, "just—just go."
James felt his chest tighten at her dismissal. So they were back to a surname basis. He wanted more than anything to stay with her. To tell her the truth. To tell her how much he cared about her. But one look at the hurt and exhaustion on her face stopped every notion in his head of doing so. She would never forgive him for this.
"I'm so sorry, Lily."
With that, he sighed and turned to leave. He stopped at Remus' bed and grabbed Sirius' attention.
"Keep an eye on her for me, alright?" James pleaded. "If anything happens, come find me immediately."
Sirius nodded in agreement. James left the hospital wing with a heavy heart and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His solemn walk to the Common Room was interrupted by a sharp voice.
"Mr. Potter."
James turned to see McGonagall striding towards him.
"If you'll come with me, please," she instructed. "Professor Dumbledore would like to see you."
James felt his stomach knot as he began to follow her to the headmaster's office. He mentally prepared himself for the worst. James would try to take some of the blame off of Sirius; he could say that he was with his friend at the time Snape was told about the Shrieking Shack, and he did nothing to stop it. Yes, that would do.
As they reached the stone gargoyle, Professor McGonagall stopped and said confidently, "Jelly slugs."
The statue began to move, revealing a spiral staircase.
"I trust you know the way?" she asked.
James nodded and began the ascent to Dumbledore's office. He came to a solid oak door, pausing just before he knocked. He briefly thought of all of the times he had been in this office—typically under less than ideal circumstances. He had been in trouble many times, but never had be been so nervous as he was now. His hands shook slightly as he rapped firmly on the door.
"You may enter," Dumbledore's voice called from inside.
He pushed the heavy door open, displaying the familiar room. James walked forward and took a seat in one of the tall armchairs in front of the desk.
"I hear you've had a very full two days," the headmaster said wryly. "If you don't mind me asking, how is Miss Evans?"
James felt his insides swirl once again at the thought of Lily.
"She's doing alright. Sore, but alive."
"Very good. Gave us all quite a scare, she did."
James nodded. Before Dumbledore could continue, he blurted out, "Listen, sir, this wasn't all Sirius's fault. I was there when he—"
The professor put up a hand to stop his speech.
"Very noble of you, James. But you should know that Mr. Black came to me last night and confessed to the whole situation. He also assured me that you and Lily had nothing to do with it. I have merely called you here tonight to ask your permission to collect your memory of the evening's events. I assume you know how a Pensieve works?"
James nodded. His father had possession of such a device at home, and James had the privilege of using it on rare occasions. Dumbledore handed him a glass vile and told him to picture the scene unfolding again. James did so, leaving out the details of his Animagus. The professor muttered an incantation quietly and pressed his wand to James's head, withdrawing a whispery, silvery substance that was guided into the container.
"Thank you, Mr. Potter. That will be all," Dumbledore dismissed. As James was turning to leave, the thought that had been bothering him the most surfaced to his mind.
"Sir," he said, facing the headmaster once more, "Remus—he won't be...punished for this, will he?"
Dumbledore gave a grave smile.
"Mr. Lupin was, as I understand it, not in a state of mental clarity. Therefore, no, he will not be punished. You need not worry about Mr. Snape. He has been told that last night's events are to be kept completely confidential."
"Thank you, sir."
With that, James exited the office, thoughts of Lily filling his mind the entire way to the Common Room. He had finally started to get on good terms with the girl, and this happens. Lily would never forgive him for this. As long as she thought that James was responsible for what happened at the Whomping Willow—and he had no plans of telling her otherwise—he could kiss any hopes of being friends with her goodbye.
He quickly reached the portrait hole and said, "Snitch wings."
The picture swung open, and James walked straight to his dormitory.
As he lay in bed, his stomach rumbled loudly. It was then that he realized he had not eaten since lunch the previous day, nor had he slept in nearly thirty-six hours. Thoughts of hunger quickly faded from his mind, however, as sleep easily washed over him.
Lily was not in class the next day, just as James had expected. Madame Pomfrey said she wouldn't be back for a few more days.
(Lily)
Lily Evans was not having an easy night. Madame Pomfrey had gone to bed, preventing her from acquiring a pain-relieving potion for the constant ache of her leg. Sleep, it seemed, simply would not come to her, leaving her mind completely vulnerable to scathing thoughts of James Potter.
How could he have done this? Sure, James was one to pull a good prank quite often, but how could he do something that would get Severus killed? It just seemed so out of character for him; a year ago, she could have easily believed it, but James had really seemed to have changed. He was no longer the immature jerk he once was...now he was just immature. Lily did not want to believe it, but how could she not? James had admitted to it, himself.
Lily felt a lump begin to rise in her throat as she thought of the messy-haired boy.
No, she thought. There's no reason to cry over Jam—Potter. When had she gotten on a first name basis with him? She didn't know. All she was sure of was that there was no way she could ever trust him again.
She lay there all night, the same thoughts circling in her head on a loop.
How could he? How could he? How could he?
By the time morning came, Lily was exhausted. She had gotten no sleep, and her leg still throbbed painfully. Madame Pomfrey came soon to check on her.
"How are you feeling, dear?"
"I didn't sleep last night," she said, successfully keeping the bitterness out of her voice with some effort. "Couldn't get my leg to stop twinging."
The witch's lips pursed together.
"Let me get you something for that."
She returned a few minutes later with two bottles in her hand. She poured a thick purple liquid into a small cup and handed it to Lily.
"This will help with the aching," she told her.
She poured another potion, this one, blue.
"This is a Sleeping Draught. It's not extremely powerful, but it will let you sleep through the day," Madame Pomfrey continued. Lily began to protest, saying she needed to get back to class, but she was cut off. "You need your rest, Miss Evans. I'm sure your friends will get your class work to you."
Lily begrudgingly drank the potion, and at last felt sleep come to her.
(James)
James moaned as he felt pain shoot through his right shoulder.
Note to self, he thought, rolling onto an arm that has recently been ripped to shreds by a werewolf is a bad idea.
He sat up in bed, attempting to get the throbbing to subside. As he collected himself, the memory of last night came to him. Shit. James knew that Lily would never forgive him for what he did. But he didn't see any other choice. If he had told her the truth, who knows what she would have done to Sirius?
Sirius. James knew that he should be angry with his friend, but after witnessing his breakdown yesterday, he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but sorrow for him. Surely living with the guilt of putting his best friends and Lily through that was enough punishment.
"Oi," Sirius called from around the corner of the bathroom wall. His speech was muffled by a mouth full of toothpaste. "Wha're yoo arreddy up fer? Ma'am Pawmrey shed yoo don' hafta be'n clash tiw Mudday."
"Can't sleep," James replied, "shoulder keeps hurting."
Peter, who had just entered the room, entered the conversation.
"Go get a pain potion then, mate."
James hesitated. He didn't want go to the Hospital Wing if Lily didn't want him there. On the other hand, he wasn't too keen on waiting the soreness out without some medication. Finally making up his mind, he stood from the bed and trudged to his dresser. He pulled an old t-shirt out of a drawer and pulled it over his head. He gingerly maneuvered his bad arm through the sleeve—not without quite a few yelps of discomfort (and a few guilty looks from Sirius). He started to pull a jacket over him, but he wasn't very fond of the thought of attempting to pull another sleeve on. On Madame Pomfrey's orders, he slid his sling over his head and delicately situated his arm within its white material. Draping the jacket over his bad side, he began the walk to the Hospital Wing.
Upon arrival, James silently opened the wooden doors. He peered over at the redhead lying a few beds away. She appeared to be sleeping.
Good, he thought. I've caused her enough stress.
He spotted Madame Pomfrey not far away, and she readily went to fetch him something to end the pain in his arm. It was only when she returned that he finally summoned the nerve to ask about Lily.
"How is she?"
"She's surviving," Madame Pomfrey answered. "It seems like she's out of the woods. Didn't sleep at all last night, though, the poor dear. I gave her a Sleeping Draught this morning to let her get some rest."
"She was up all night alone?"
She nodded.
"Yes, after Mr. Black left, there was no one else in here but the volunteers and myself."
James felt his stomach churn in conflicting emotions. He felt as though he shouldn't be here, but something kept drawing him towards the sleeping girl just down the aisle. Surely no one should have to be in the Hospital Wing alone, right?
"How long should that Sleeping Draught last?" he asked.
"Oh, I'd say long enough to last until dinner."
"Do you mind if I stay with her?"
"Not at all, Mr. Potter. I only ask that you don't get in the way of caring for the other patients."
James nodded and took up his familiar post in the armchair next to Lily's bed. He grabbed her hand lightly, and silently thanked every god he could think of for bringing her back to him. He didn't know what he would have done if something had happened to her.
James sat there for the majority of the day until he heard the loud clammor of the Hospital Wing doors opening some time around 4. He looked up to see Alice and Mary sprinting to the beds.
"Oh, Merlin!" Alice cried upon sight of Lily. "Potter, what are you doing here? What happened? We were worried when Lily didn't come home the last two nights, but no one would let us in the Hospital Wing or tell us what was going on!"
Lily stirred at the voices, and James quickly quieted them. He didn't know what to tell them. He gave them as few details as possible without giving them cause for worry.
"Lily was attacked. She received a cut in the leg that severed a major artery. We didn't know if she was going to make it, but she pulled through. She's sleeping now."
The shock clearly showed on both the girls' faces. Their eyes traveled to the sling on James' arm.
"I take it you were there?" Mary asked.
James nodded.
"Wow," Alice huffed. "So nice that our best friend was attacked and nearly died, yet no one thought to come tell her closest friends." She shot James a pointed look.
"Now, now," Mary reassured her, "Potter had more important things to take care of." She turned to look at him. "How long have you been here?"
"I stayed with her the night of the attack, and all day yesterday," he recounted. His stomach sank yet again at the thought of the argument last night. "She finally made me leave around 9 o'clock last night, but I came back this morning around seven."
Both of the girls looked at him in both surprise and admiration.
"Thanks," Alice said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's nice to know she had someone here for her."
"Don't mention it. Happy to do it."
He stood, stretching his muscles.
"I trust you two can take it from here?"
They nodded, and he turned to leave. He stopped himself just as he reached the doors.
"Erm—would you guys mind not telling her I was here today?"
They gave him a confused look, but agreed nonetheless.
James headed to his dormitory with a sleepy mind and a heavy heart.
A/N: YAY! It's done! I PROMISE I'm going to try to get another chapter posted tomorrow, but I make no promises. Thanks for reading! You know what would keep me from going into another writing depression? REVIEW!
