No copyright infringements intended. All that belongs to me here is the plot. Take note!
EPOV
Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists…when we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two vowels of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence- Goncourt
She's leaving. She's leaving and taking with her my heart, which would be rendered obsolete in her absence anyway, but she's taking it with her. I'll probably miss her more than I'd miss my heart as a matter of fact. I only hope she takes good care of it while we are apart, for however long it has to be. For both our sakes, I hope it isn't very long at all. Those were the thoughts that were running through my head as Bella and I drove to the airport and as she went to board her flight.
Seeing Bella off to her flight was painful at best and the only thing that made it the slightest bit bearable was the fact that I knew that I would see her whenever and as often as I could and talk to her almost every day in between. This was not the end for us, not by a long shot, I refuse to allow it to be so. As they say parting is such sweet sorrow and absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well we have proven, twice now, sadly that parting is nothing but sorrow, no hint of sweetness in sight. I can only hope that the latter saying about absence is proven true. That will at least make the pain worth it if it can mean that my heart will open up to love her even more than I already do.
The moment I realized I loved her was the moment that I watched her walk away from me. I could see that she was fighting with herself, wanting to come back to me, and that just showed me that she was willing to sacrifice her happiness for the sake of others. She was willing to walk away from me, from her chance at a future with me, to return to Rosalie and Tyler because that's where her loyalty lies. She made a commitment to them and she would stand by it even if it hurt her. Too bad it hurt me too; but I can certainly respect her choice. I'm not sure if I would have been strong enough to do it were the situation reversed. Yes I had walked away from her once before but then our bond was a mere measure of what it is now and even then it was near impossible to leave.
As I think about the woman I love I cannot help but think of how it felt holding her in my embrace during our intimate moment of passion. It was spontaneous but, as clichéd as it sounds, it was so right, like it was meant to be, the two of us joined as one. Making love to Bella was more perfect than I could have ever imagined it would be. But thinking it over right now makes me remember how much I just want to kick myself for my stupidity and selfishness. Why the hell would I sleep with her without protection? What was I thinking? Not to mention the fact that I should have made her first time more special than the guest bedroom of her father's house with no plan, no forethought, no romance. What's worse is that right after we had to go our separate ways; how does that not make her feel cheap or like a one night stand? When will I ever prove myself worthy of such an angel as Isabella Swan? I can only hope to make it up to her, somehow. Hope is all I have in my quest to become the man Bella deserves.
~twi~twi~twi~
It has been two long weeks since I last saw my sweet Bella, in person at least. Tonight, as every Friday night, we have our Skype session. I watch the time, willing it to move faster. Friday's are the only nights that I get off early, a feat which took no small amount of negotiating and manipulating. As a result my weekends are spent trudging through the hospital making rounds for hours on ends and weekdays are spent doing research, labs and attending lectures or the occasional surgery sit-in. Mercifully six o'clock arrives and I rush to the locker room and collect my things. My step is light and my grin is stretched so far across my face I rival The Joker's manic expression.
Like a speed demon bat out of hell I push my Volvo to the limit, racing time on my way home. Somehow, no matter how recklessly I drive, I never get into accidents and I have only ever gotten three tickets in my entire life, two of which were parking violations.
As I pull into the driveway of my home I notice my both parents' cars are in the driveway. What are they doing home this early? Isn't dad supposed to be on call this afternoon and mom doesn't usually get home until eight on a Friday night. Whatever.
I hurry to the front door and enter the foyer. As I get to the stairway my father walks out from the direction of the living room.
"Where's the fire son?"
"There's no fire…"
"He's rushing off to go talk to that girl he can't stop speaking about." My mom's voice startles me. Of course I nervously run my hands through my hair, eliminating any doubt that what my mother said was true. Were they just sitting around waiting for me to come home? Is this some kind of intervention? But what for?
"So when are we getting to meet this mystery girl, son? Your mom and I are more than a little curious. Even Emmett speaks highly of her so I know for sure she has to be something special to have my two hard to please boys gushing like this."
"I'm not really sure. I don't think she'll be able to get away anytime soon, she just got off Spring Break so she's back in school mode, getting prepared for her finals."
"Yes well her studies are very important. Carlisle I think we could wait, at least until she gets off. It's too bad we can't go to her…"
"Yeah, that is just too bad." Okay something is definitely up. My parents are acting very peculiarly. I don't get it.
"Wait…we can go to her. Our son is expecting his first child, I think that's reason enough to take some time off and head to New York. If we happen to meet a certain brunette along the way so be it. Don't you agree sweetheart?"
"Yes I do, darling."
"That is not right. You two are going to New York? To see my girlfriend? While I'll be stuck here at the hospital?"
"Hmm…if only there were some way for you to come along on the trip with us while still getting the hours in…if only you knew someone who would be able to arrange such a thing…" my father's smirk, so much like my own, puzzles me even further.
"Wha- I, I don't understand. What are you saying?" I feel as though I'm missing some vital piece of information while my parents are holding the answer to the puzzle.
"Well son, I'm saying that I arranged for you to have an exhibition period at the private clinic that one of my close friends is running. It's really close to the house we rented for two months. After that well, it's up to you what you want to do. If you want I could arrange for you to transfer to NYU's medical program. I know this girl means a lot to you and I think you both deserve a chance to see where this goes. Your mother and I also believe it's time you spread your wings, we aren't going to hold you back anymore, son. We love you and we want you to be happy."
"I, I don't know what to say. Is this for real?" Clearly my mind isn't firing on all pistons…
"Do you want to come or not? It's either yes or no."
"Yes, of course! When do we leave?"
"Aren't you an eager beaver?"
"Mom, I love you to death but please, never, ever say eager beaver ever again…"
"Oh shush. What I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted was that we booked a flight for tonight. It leaves for New York in the next three hours so you better start packing."
"Three hours? I'll be right back I need to pack. And call Bella."
I rush up the stairs to my second story bedroom. Thanks to my meticulous housekeeping skills packing only takes me a half an hour. Then I quickly dial Bella's number. She picks up the phone and immediately my heart skips a beat. Her voice causes my body to react instantaneously.
I tell her that I won't be able to keep our webcam date and her disappointment almost breaks me but I refuse to let her know that I'm coming in. I want to surprise her. I tell her that as soon as I'm free I'll call her and I promise her that I'll make it up to her. If only she knew how much I would make it up to her. The next thing I do is carry my luggage downstairs and check with my parents to see if they had told Emmett we were coming or if it was meant to be a surprise to him too.
"Yes, we're surprising him, which is basically why we need you. We don't know where he'd be. It seems to me that half the time he's at his apartment and the other he's at his girlfriend's house."
"Wow mom that makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside" I tease.
"Stop sassing me!"
"Yes mom. I think he moved in with the girls last I heard."
"What? Since when?"
"About a week now. Didn't he tell you?"
"No. It must have slipped his mind. Preparing for a child takes a lot of work."
"Yeah so I heard. So what time are we leaving?"
"Your dad is actually bringing our luggage down and then we'll be on our way."
~twi~twi~twi~
The flight is horrible. I get the window seat but unfortunately it is situated next to this big hairy guy who felt the need to share not only his extremely mundane life story but his bodily fluids as well. I politely wipe his saliva from my face and feign sleepiness. Thankfully he allows me some quiet time to 'sleep' during which I count down the time until touchdown. My parents are seated behind me and I would occasionally hear a chuckle coming from them which partially spikes my curiosity but mainly peaks my nausea level. I am never travelling with my parents again, and if I have to they are sitting as far away from me as I can. This is ridiculous! I don't want any more evidence of how sickeningly in love the two of them are, I have to face it every day when they leave the house for work with the constant PDA. That's more than enough. Besides it's making me a bit jealous that I don't have Bella here with me to do the same.
On top of all that there was turbulence. Like I needed something else to make this experience even worse?
Mercifully the captain announces that we'll be landing in the vicinity of the next fifteen minutes and I send a silent prayer that the fifteen minutes feel more like five.
I had no such luck. The fifteen minute schedule seemed stretched to an entire half hour. The obligatory waiting period in which the airplane taxis before we can offload is spent ignoring the unwanted invasion of personal space from my seat mate. His elbows hit me no less than three times in the rib and he again spits all over me as he tells me how happy he is that the flight is over. All that is going through my mind as he says this is: you and me both mister!
The airport is nearly empty, so we are able to collect our bags with little trouble. While I use the restroom, dad rents a car for our trip. No more taxis, yes please!
He orders an Aston Martin Vanquish, a car which I vow to buy for myself one day. It handles so smoothly that, if you weren't paying attention, you'd think you were parked.
Within minutes we pull up to an amazing duplex. The inside is elegant and nothing less than I would expect my parents to choose. The best part of all however, is that it is a mere fifteen minutes away from Bella. My father informs me that, first thing tomorrow morning he will show me where the clinic is.
We quickly freshen up and I take the wheel to navigate the way to Bella, Rosalie and Em. Thanks to the horsepower on the Vanquish we get there in ten minutes. Hearing the approaching car Bella opens the door and I can't shut off the stupid engine fast enough.
BPOV
Happiness is easier to portray in an obvious way- unknown.
It can't be.
He is supposed to be in Seattle.
How could he be here?
Those questions, despite my desperate desire to find their answers, suddenly lose their importance as I am enfolded into Edward's arms. We stay in that position for what could have been an eternity or mere minutes then, reluctantly, he pulls away from me. I stifle the groan that threatens to escape my lips at the loss of contact but my logical side tells me that we cannot possibly remain standing on the porch indefinitely.
It is only as we pull apart that I notice that we are not alone. The gorgeous couple standing behind Edward makes my breath catch in my throat. The blinding smile on the petite woman makes me blush. The smile is an intimate, knowing and affectionate one, as though she and I share some scandalous secret that no one else does and I can't help but wondering what is the meaning of it.
"Bella these are my parents Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Mom, Dad, meet Isabella Swan, my girlfriend."
"It's so nice to finally meet you Isabella. Edward talks so much about you I feel like I know you already" Esme says to me. I glance surreptitiously at Edward and notice that he is studiously avoiding my gaze, his face tinted an adorable pink. I try not to allow him to see that I notice his embarrassment.
"It's wonderful to meet you too. Come on in. if I was told you were coming I would have prepared something special. As of right now all we have is pizza. I hope you don't mind." I turn to Edward and give him an accusatory stare but, lucky for him, his father comes to the rescue.
"That's our fault Isabella. We didn't even tell Edward beforehand and when he found out well he wanted it to be a surprise. Not even Emmett knew we were coming either. Pizza would be lovely."
"Oh. Ok. And you can call me Bella. Isabella is so formal you know?"
I walk in ahead of them and just as I am about to lock the door I hear Emmett's booming voice calling out to me. "Who was it Bells?"
"Why don't you come see for yourself?"
"Alright miss attitude" his dismembered voice returns. I roll my eyes. Emmett can be such a big kid when he wants to.
His footsteps followed by the little pitter patter of my charge and the click clack of his mom's heels are heard. I take everyone's coats and hang them. When I get back Esme is bent slightly with her hands resting on Rose's tummy. The three men are standing aside watching them with mildly amused expressions on their faces. Tyler looks on, confused, and clutching tightly to his mom's leg. When he notices me he runs away from the strange adults and comes to stand behind me, feeling a safe distance away from 'the unknowns'. While Rose directs everyone to the living room I hang back with the little guy, and so does Edward.
"So how long are you going to be staying for?" That wasn't the question I was initially going to ask but my anxiety in knowing the answer forced it out of my mouth before my mind registered it was coming.
"For about two months. Maybe longer…it's conditional."
At that piece of phenomenal information, I forget that Tyler is in the room and I throw myself into Edward's arms. When I pull back however, my brain has time to catch up to my impulsive and possibly desperate reaction, and the familiar warmth moves up my cheeks.
"I take it your happy about that?"
"What gave it away?" I retort. He chuckles silently.
Tyler tugs on my jersey and affects a quizzical look.
"I just got some good news honey, that's all. Race you to the living room." He barely hesitates a moment before his little feet pads of, full speed, towards his destination, giggling all the way. I laugh then I take off after him, glad for the excuse to escape my embarrassment.
As I enter the room Tyler is just climbing up onto the couch with Rose. Edward enters just a few seconds after me an amused expression on his face.
Looking around the room some more I notice that Emmett is in some sort of conference with his father while his mother, Esme, is fawning all over Rose. I guess that's expected all things considered.
Upon noticing my arrival into the room Carlisle looks up and sends a small smile my way. Esme shifts on her perch on the couch next to Rose to make room for me. The small gesture makes me teary-eyed because I know that that means she has, even if only minimally, accepted my presence in her son's life. I turn to glance at Edward and am rewarded with a reassuring smile.
Well, here goes nothing then. Bonding time with the boyfriend's parents…at least I'm not alone with them.
"Doesn't she look positively gorgeous with her pregnancy glow Is-, I mean Bella? That's going to take some getting used to, sorry."
"Yes she does. But, no matter how much I tell her that all she hears is 'Rose, you are so fat!' Maybe she'll take your word for it Mrs. Cullen."
"Mrs. Cullen? Carlisle, I didn't know your mother was here? Where is she?" she jokes. "Call me Esme, dear. And I'm afraid I'm having no such luck either. This young woman seems to be determined to ignore our opinions. I need to have a word with my son, clearly he isn't telling you enough how stunning you look Rose."
"Oh on the contrary Esme, he tells me every chance he gets. But he has no choice does he? If he wants to continue sleeping here, that is." We break out into laughter and the men, being unable to contain their curiosity any longer stop their conversation and come over.
"What's so funny ladies?" Carlisle asks.
"Never you mind sweetheart. Why don't you men go fix us something to eat, we're bonding."
"Dad! She's been here fifteen minutes at best and she's already kicking us out" Emmett, the ever mature, complains. Surprisingly I notice that Edward is also in agreement and is wearing a full blown pout. Wow, he is so gorgeous when he's sulking!
"Don't worry son, I'm not trying to steal Rosalie from you, I just want to make sure she knows that I would much prefer her to you as a child any day." I try my hardest to stifle a laugh at his wounded facial expression. Carlisle and Edward however have no such qualms and audibly express their view of Esme's comment. Rosalie gets up from her seat to comfort Emmett, whispering something in his ear that obviously does exactly that.
Without further ado he promptly heads into the kitchen leaving his father and brother standing staring confusedly after him.
With the men gone we resume our conversation.
"I can't believe you said that to him Esme. I mean you know better than anyone else how big of a baby Emmett can be when his ego is bruised. Not that I don't agree it needs reducing every once in a while, because it does."
"Yes well I know that you're quite capable of licking his wounds for him so he needs not worry. Besides I said nothing but the truth. He knows I've always wanted a daughter and now I have two!"
Her smooth inclusion of me in the conversation made my heart warm for this woman that I barely know but somehow already love. To create people like Emmett and Edward she has to be someone special anyway.
"Thank you Esme, that's really nice of you to say" chimes Rose while I nod my agreement, my throat too choked up to allow a verbal response.
"Like I said, it's nothing but the truth. To have my sons so completely enamored by you in such a short space of time, you must be incredible women and so I already feel as though I love you."
"Would you believe I was just thinking that? As creepy as that sounds, it's the honest to God truth." my face is tinged pink anticipating the laughter which would accompany my confession.
It never comes. Instead Esme leans over and encloses me in a hug. I hug her back fiercely, suddenly feeling my mother's absence more than I ever have before. Thinking about my mother as I hug Esme causes tears to come unbidden to my eyes. A strangled sob escapes my lips and I feel Esme hold me tighter. Strong arms grips me from behind and before I know what is happening I am lifted from the couch and snuggled into the unmistakable comfort of Edward's chest. I hear him mumble something but my brain refuses to process anything beyond the pain of all the years of my mother's love that I've lost.
I never thought I would be back to this point again. I thought with my now constant contact with Renee I would be getting over it but apparently I'm not. I guess I should book that flight to Washington sooner rather than later.
Slowly my tears subside and all I'm doing is sniffling like a little child who has been scolded for the first time.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Your mother must think I'm a freak or something!"
"Shh…stop. Don't apologize for feeling. You're only human! Do you want to talk about it?"
"Honestly, if I knew what happened I would talk to you but I just…your mom was just being so nice to me and I guess it brought back up a lot of the old hurt you know? But I thought that that whole Renee thing was behind me, because I've been talking to her almost every day, and we're almost back to where we were."
"It takes more than just a few phone calls to fix the damage she's done Bella. I know it probably felt to you like it was fixed but I think this little breakdown should show you that you two still have some work to do. Yes?"
"Yea, I guess you're right."
"Ready to go back out? Your pizza's probably cold, I can heat it up for you if you'd like."
"No, I like cold pizza. Let me just wash my face and I'll be right out."
"Would you like me to wait for you?"
"You don't have to."
"Then I'll wait. I've spent more time away from you than was bearable so I'll spend whatever time I can with you."
I splash some water on my face and give myself a mini pep talk. Buck up Bella! You are a Swan; you can handle whatever life throws at you. Stop dwelling! Just keep moving forward, regardless of how slowly that might be, keep moving!
I walk out to Edward lying on my bed looking quite at home there. God I love this man. Love? Love…yeah. I love him!
Unbeknownst to me, while I was having this revelation, apparently Edward was roused by my entrance and was looking at me quite intently as the emotions played across my face.
"What's got you smiling so hard?"
"Um…nothing. I was just thinking that's all."
"Care to share?"
"Not just yet. Soon."
"I'll hold you to that. Come on, everyone must be wondering if we got lost in here."
~twi~twi~twi~
"I wish you could stay the night. I've missed you."
"Me too Bells. But I have to get going early in the morning to meet some of my dad's colleagues concerning my internship. But I promise, as soon as I'm finished, I'll be right here spending every free moment I have with you."
"So when's the internship going to start?"
"I'm not sure. I'll find out all of that tomorrow I guess."
A knock on my bedroom door and a traitor yawn coincide. I know that that knock means it's time for Edward to leave and I get angry at the intrusion. It's too soon! He just got here! I want a few more hours at least. But then I yawn again and I know that, even if I had convinced him to stay earlier he would have changed his mind saying something stupid like I need my rest. As if!
We get up off of my bed and walk to the bedroom door, having agreed that I wouldn't walk him to the front door. I might break down and that just isn't me. I kiss him tenderly and will the moment to last a bit longer.
Eventually we break away and I watch Edward walk away from me once more and it hurts. The only thing that stops me from crying myself to sleep is knowing that I'll see him again in the morning. Regardless of that knowledge however I still sleep fretfully. 'Morning cannot come fast enough' is all I remember thinking to myself as I toss and turn restlessly throughout the night.
~twi~twi~twi~
Saturday morning runs slowly for me. Tyler goes through his usual routine of wanting to be with his mother all through the day and so my job is made a little easier. Rose's pregnancy hasn't been easy on him, like somehow he's sensing that he's no longer going to be the baby and so he's soaking up as much of her attention as he can. However, with little to do I have too much time on my hands with which to obsess over when Edward will be here. In an attempt to distract myself from my neurosis I cook, clean my room, play with Tyler while Rose naps and begin studying for my finals. I even call Renee, which I don't ever do; it's usually the other way around. We don't stay on the phone too long because she's a bit busy. Before I know it I hear an engine and the tingling sensation in my skin lets me know that Edward is finally hear.
With no reservation I launch myself at Edward, wrapping my legs around his waist and smothering him in kisses. I am drawn out of my momentary lapse of social decorum by the mortifying sounds of catcalls and laughter. I pull away from his lips but as I try to dismount Edward tightens his grip and whispers in my ear: "I suggest, for your sake and mine that you stay right where you are for a little while." The confusion is immediately cleared up as he shifts his hips for emphasis. "Oh. My bad?"
"No. Your good" he chuckles.
"Ehem. Are you two planning to separate any time soon?" comes Rose's voice from somewhere behind me. I look at Edward and he slowly lowers me down his body. I notice he's still not entirely calm so I turn around in his arms and face my tormentors.
"You two are such peeping Tom's. Don't you know it's rude to intrude on people's private moments?"
Rose looks a little abashed and Emmett tries his hardest to seem less amused than he really is. "I guess since you two so desperately want a show Edward and I should give you one…what do you say Edward?" His groan is all the answer I need.
I turn into him again and resume my attack on his mouth. He throws himself into the kiss with reckless abandon and I hear Rose and Emmett chuckle. Pretty soon I'm too far gone to notice anything but the feel, taste, smell and sound of Edward surrounding me.
Fortunately for my sense of decency and to save myself from future embarrassment Edward breaks the kiss. I say fortunately but I don't feel very grateful for his thoughtfulness right now. I will later though...I'm pretty sure of it. He chuckles at, most likely, my less than pleased facial expression. He leans down and whispers directly into my ear: I know how you feel believe me but we can't do this here. Besides Tyler seems to want your attention but I promise you I'll make it up to you later.
With that he kisses my earlobe and turns me around to face the little tyke. Of course my face is flushed, my breathing is heavy and my mind is dazed but I immediately switch gears into nanny mode.
"Hey little man. What's up? Are you hungry? Yeah? Okay let's get you some of that yummy rice cereal." I know he prefers the oats but we're all out of the oat cereal right now so he's just going to have to bear with it until we go to the grocery this afternoon.
After a backward glance at Edward I tote Tyler into the kitchen and deposited him into his highchair. He gobbles down his cereal but not in the way he would if it were the oats or one of his purees.
"Rose, what time are we heading to the grocery? The rice cereal's almost finished, the oats completely done and we need some more fresh veggies so I can puree them."
"Shoot. We were supposed to go to the grocery today? I completely forgot. I told mom and dad that I was coming over this afternoon with Tyler and Em...can't you go on your own? I'll make a list of what I want and well you know what we need for the house and for Ty."
"No problem. Um...I'll just go get ready to go now then. Or would you like me to get him cleaned up first?"
"No, it's okay. I'll go clean him up while you're getting changed. We'll leave together...well, at the same time. Edward you have your car right?"
"Yup. Sounds like a plan."
Rose and I head towards the bedrooms. It's only as I try to close my door that I realize Edward was right behind me. I quirk my eyebrow at him and all he does is flash his dazzling crooked smile at me. Oh well.
Before I could act on my desires I hear Rose's voice calling to me "Don't you dare get distracted Isabella Swan! Now move it." I have no choice but to laugh. Rose knows me so well.
I take a quick shower hyper aware that Edward is only a doorway away. Granted we've been in such close proximities before but the time we spent apart has seriously made me more sensitive to his presence.
I quickly change and soon we lock up the house and Edward and I are on our way to the grocery, list carefully secured in my handbag.
I make quick work of the necessities and as I make my way to the cash register, double checking that I have everything, I notice a few stowaways in the cart. What the hell? I don't remember picking up mushrooms. Rose doesn't eat it, Tyler never eats it...I'm the only one in the house who eats it so I wouldn't pick it up as part of the household groceries…
Edward.
"When did you put this in the cart?"
"When you were busy choosing out which peppers and tomatoes were suitable. I realized you didn't take any and I know how you love them so I took the liberty of putting some in for you. There are a few other things in there that you didn't have on your list. I hope you don't mind. I just felt they were essentials." it's things like this that just make me want to kiss him senseless! He's so sweet. Not many people would think to do something so small yet so considerate and yet here he was always thinking of the small things, putting me and my needs first.
At the cashier's, before I could even reach into my purse to get my card out, somehow Edward manages to get his swiped, paying for the groceries.
When we get back into the car I turn to him and say "you didn't have to do that you know. I was going to pay."
"I know you would have but as long as I'm with you, you don't have to pay a dime for anything you need or desire."
"That's very sweet of you but-"
"Just say thank you Bella." The set of his jaw tells me that no other response would be accepted and so, with my chin jutted out and my teeth clenched tightly, I mumble a very ungracious thank you. And the bastard has the nerve to smirk! Argh!
I'll find some way to pay him back for all that money he just spent on household groceries; for a house he doesn't even live in no less!
Walking into the house my cell phone chirps in my pocket. The caller id notifies me that it's Renee and all I can think is it's been less than twenty four hours since I spoke to her but I answer anyway.
Okay, so I know realistically, Edward shouldn't be able to get so much time away from the hospital but, guess what, this is fiction so I am using creative license. Forgive me? By the way…do you like the idea of him transferring to NYU to be closer to Bella? I like it…then again I wrote it…lol.
By the way…the personal hell that I suffer through (school) is off right now (yay!) but soon to start again…oh great. Have mercy! [Watching reruns of 'Full House', gotta love Uncle Jesse right? Haha] it won't be as hectic once it starts back though so we should be fine.
