Nothing much to say except the usual, thanks for reading and I apologize for any errors. :)


-Photograph

Hours after Jordan left her office, Juvia stepped out into the fading light. The sun was beginning to set as she walked down the street, heading towards the local theatre. Cloudless and vast, the sky erupted in shades of the summer. The air was cool and breezy, perfect for a late afternoon stroll. It was rush hour in Magnolia City, basically it always was. People never seemed to decrease in the streets, there were always, always people. Waves and waves of human beings filled the streets, varieties of every aspect. There were the business-people in sleek suits and polished auras, always texting or calling on their hand-held phones, the preppy and some lousy students, backpacks hanging from their sides, acne bursting in their eager faces. She also saw singularities. There was one with red streaks in her hair and piercings all over her ears, another with star-shaped glasses, flower power jumpsuit and a big afro, singing with a ukulele.

Juvia passed by designer shops, and boutiques. She looked through the glass displays of several of them. Most of the pieces were extravagant and luxurious, Juvia liked the plain ones better. As the immobile models took their poses, she imagined herself wearing whatever the skinny mannequin was. She liked comfort more than style. There was a beige lace dress that she particularly liked, Juvia took a note of the name of the store and walked on.

Juvia wasn't much of a dresser, she didn't take long hours to pick out her clothes. She didn't mind wearing sneakers occasionally and her clothes weren't made to stand out. She had only several pieces that were considerably extravagant, mostly gifts from friends. She'd always hear women talk about being worth it to suffer just for the sake of looking good. She thought that was a horse shit of an idea.

Tonight Juvia opted for a beanie, a beige coat, and knee high brown boots. Her jeans were not too tight but weren't baggy either. She looked down at her shoes while she walked, people filling in her peripheral vision. Mindless noises and heavy traffic filled her ears, bright billboards and neon displays scattered all over her, slightly giving her a headache. Juvia tried to drown the world out with that tiny music player everyone had in their minds.

After 5 more minutes of walking she finally reached the theater. Movie posters hung behind glass displays and snack booths on both corners, she paced a little. Checking her watch, Juvia was a little too early. People began exiting the cinema, finished popcorn and plastic cups in their hands, chattering about whatever they watched. Juvia stood aside, not wanting to be dragged by the waves of movie-goers. She tried to look out for any violet-highlights, but Jordan was nowhere in sight. There was no way to recognize anyone by the speed and flow of the crowd, it was almost like everyone mixed into one mobile entity.

After a while, the people began to disperse, although there were still a lot blocking her vision. Juvia stood on her toes and tried to identify anyone. Sighing, she rocked on her heels and waited patiently for a clear view. Juvia looked above and read the marquee signs above her, flashing and blinking in bright red neon. The next movie was in about 20 minutes.

Looking towards the ticket counter, she saw a tall black figure. Looking more closely, Juvia found herself staring at a man, his back towards hers. He was leaning towards the counter and tapping his left foot, the broadness of his back emphasized by his position. She squinted a little, trying to figure out the sense of familiarity that she felt. His face was not visible although his built was so distinct that Juvia took a little step towards him. His dark clothes were a familiar sight to her. Lyon? He was wearing black long-sleeves, pushed to his elbows, a bright red scarf and black jeans. Wait a minute, I know that scarf. Isn't that-

Gray turned towards her. Juvia's heartbeats were slow and loud, thumping in her ears. He took out his wallet and tucked something among the folds. She wanted to retreat into some dark corner where he couldn't possibly see her but her feet were stuck to the ground. Juvia tried moving her gaze away, to look at anything else, but her eyes only shifted for a second before they looked back to him. Jesus Christ Violette! She scolded herself violently.

His eyes were covered by his hair that fell over his face, but as soon as he looked up, she was directly in his sight. His face registering surprise and confusion, he looked a little paler since Juvia had last seen him. His brows furrowed together at the sight of Juvia standing just several feet from him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and cocked his head, still looking at her, his blue eyes vivid even at a distance. Sapphire, ink and snow, those were the words she'd used to describe him before, she read it in some book where the character had the same features and she instantly thought of Gray. He was striking as ever.

Breaking out of her brief surprise, Juvia tentatively smiled and waved. She could barely move, instead she greeted him, not wanting to be rude. It might have been awkward if they just stood there staring at each other. People passed between them and for a second Juvia could barely see him through the bodies packed together. She took that brief distraction to calm down. "You better keep your shit together" she muttered to herself, and just then someone tapped her shoulder, startling Juvia.

Jordan smiled at her with Zef following beside her. Their hands were linked together and they wore matching white pants. She wore hers with a messenger bag and Mary Jane's while Zef had a varsity jacket and beige Chuck Taylors. Zef briefly smiled at her then looked around. Surprise was suddenly his expression, his jaw going slack.

Yeah, I had the same reaction too. Juvia was trying to figure things out when she saw Gray moving towards them from the corner of her eye. Jordan didn't seem to notice, she was looking at the movie posters, her finger tapping her chin. Juvia looked at Zef, raising her eyebrows but he just shrugged, his mouth turning down into a frown. Zef tugged Jordan's hand a little and motioned towards her brother.

"What the-" Jordan exclaimed as she saw him. Deeply swallowing, she turned back to Juvia, questions in her eyes. Juvia quickly shrugged, thinking that neither of them expected Gray to be here. The trio waited for him to weave his way along the moving crowds of noisy people. Juvia could feel Jordan tense up.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" Jordan asked as she hugged her brother.

"Just gonna see a movie, you guys?" Gray said as he returned his sister's greeting. He watched Juvia for a second before stepping forward to lay his forehead on her's. Stepping away, he clasped hands with Zef and slightly bumped shoulders, in that man-to-man way of saying 'hello'.

Juvia swallowed hard. She froze when he made contact with her just seconds ago. This was his habit of greeting her before, not to kiss, sometimes to hug but more often he would just gently come towards her and pull her face close to his to lay his forehead on hers. It was intimate and it was only for her. He did it with no one else and Juvia considered it as there 'thing' before. She thought it must've stuck with him. It wasn't all bad but she wasn't that comfortable with it. She slightly fidgeted and drew closer towards Jordan, a little farther from Gray.

"Yeah, we were just gonna celebrate something, ugh it's Juvia's first-" Juvia kicked Jordan's leg before she could say anything. Gray raised one of his eyebrows in question.

"My first ugh-it's really just a girl thing, right Jordan?" Juvia said quickly.

"Yeah, totally"

"O-kay?" Gray's camera hung from his shoulder, Juvia only noticed it when he came forward. "Why don't I tag along with you guys for now?"

Jordan looked at her nervously, inquiring with her eyes if it was okay. Juvia pondered on this for a few moments. Movie. Silence. Darkness. Popcorn. Just what normal friends do. Juvia shrugged and smiled lightly. Watching a movie together was a normal activity for friends, besides Jordan and Zef would be there too.

"Yeah sure" Jordan said all too quickly. "Would you mind getting some food?" she inquired the two men. " A chocolate bar and a donut for me, wait, no two donuts. Kinda hungry".

"Didn't you already eat donuts this morning?" Juvia elbowed her friend.

The two men took their time as they headed for the snack bars, talking in hushed voices. There wasn't much difference in height, Gray was just a few centimeters taller. As soon as Zef and Gray were out of hearing range, Jordan squealed quietly. She looked at Juvia pleadingly, apologizing with her eyes, making them look as innocent as possible. She almost slipped and would have blown Juvia's secret.

"It's fine, watch yourself next time okay?" Juvia said, placing her hands on Jordan's shoulder. Juvia didn't want to impose too much on her, she just wanted everyone to be normal around each other without them being concerned about her all the time. Keeping a secret from your brother was hard enough when she imagined it herself. Jordan had kept her secret for a long time now and she was grateful that her friend held on as long as she did. Juvia knew how much Jordan liked talking. Still, Jordan whimpered and her eyes were close to tears.

"Would you please stop being so nervous Jordan? It's gonna be fine"

"Okay, okay" Jordan said, breathing deeply. She shook her hands and jumped around a little. Wriggling her fingers, she paced, her heels tapping on the floor. Finally, she calmed down and her smile returned. "That was close". Juvia linked her arm with Jordan and they walked towards Zef and Gray waiting for them at the entrance. Perfectly normal.

After they bought tickets and found their seats, the movie already begun. Juvia found herself beside Gray, Jordan and Zef in front of them. She looked at the screen with great intensity, putting popcorn in her mouth once in a while, trying her hardest not to let her mind drift towards the person beside her. Juvia scooted as far away from him as her seat allowed. She felt silly in doing so, but she couldn't help it.

The opening credits began to roll in and a few more murmurs persisted. Directly above the person beside her was a bright beam of light that hit the screen. Behind her she could hear kids laughing and snorting at each other, she and Gray where in the seated at the middle row.

In front of her, Jordan was cuddled up to Zef, her head on his shoulder and his arm draped around her seat. Sam was whispering something into her ear that made her giggle softly. Great, that's very helpful. Juvia shifted uncomfortably in her seat and tried to focus on the movie. Her popcorn was flavored caramel just the way she liked. Concentration and interest seemed to drift away from her and she began to feel restless, slightly regretting coming.

The only noise she could hear was her thoughts. Gray was casually slouched in his seat, fully facing the screen, but his eyes were definitely not concentrated on the movie either. At one point he produced a baseball cap from his pocket and shoved it onto his head, putting it down halfway his face to obscure his view of the screen. His only feature that was visible was his mouth that was turned down into a slightly odd angle.

Juvia leaned in to whisper something. "You didn't come for the movie did'ya?" Gray turned towards her and answered her with a sly grin, his eyes still covered from view. He slightly straightened and moved closer to her seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just went out for a walk" he said softly and cleared his throat. "was thinking 'bout just sitting in the theater, not specifically for the movie". The smile returned and he lifted his chin a little, Juvia could finally see his shadowed blue orbs. The sight of his eyes staring down at her sent her mind reeling into another place, another memory. No, don't think about this, but it was already too late.

Juvia and Gray were seated at the very back and at the very top of the theater, they'd been here for two consecutive movies, both not interested at either. The only light came from the images on the screen but other than that it was completely dark. People were quiet around them and they settled in the darkness too. She was faced towards him, her feet tucked under her, above the seat. Her head was laid next to his cheek and her hand was captured by his. Gray was examining it in the faint light, slowly turning her hand over, tracing the lines of her palm, of her fingers, then turning it back around to touch the slightly protruding veins, the soft contact compensating for their silence.

His hand dwarfed hers but his touch was feathery light, it made Juvia's lids flutter shut. She immersed herself in the feel of his fingers caressing her skin. It was ridiculous to feel so much with just a simple touch, she though, but she felt it anyway. At first it made her a bit ticklish, now it was pleasant, really pleasant. Juvia breathed slowly, she could feel a few strands of his hair touch her forehead, his cheek gently pressed onto her temple.

He then closed his hand over hers, looking as his fingers slowly interlocked with Juvia's. Gray turned towards her and kissed her forehead tenderly, she could feel him smile as he tucked her head in the curve of his shoulder. It was raining outside and neither one of them had an umbrella, so they decided to wait it out inside the theater.

Juvia let her senses be filled with him. She drowned out the movie sounds and settled into their own quietness. It made her remember a lot of things but most of all Jordan's question abounded among the others. That simple question that she'd agonized over. What is your relationship exactly? She still didn't know the answer. Juvia felt like a coward, she couldn't bring herself to ask him, or maybe she was too scared to find out the answer. It was so selfish of her that she found herself slightly disappointed with her own lack of effort. Wanting and begging to know but still be too afraid to ask, was she that of a craven?

They were the same way as before, still affectionate, still together, still without a formal relationship. Juvia felt herself drifting away, like somehow this new entity was consuming her, becoming her, a being that was happy with Gray's affection even without a proper name to label his intentions. She felt herself become contented with how things were and that confused her so much, she didn't want to think anymore, just feel.

Never has she felt this degree of love, only she thought it was love. Now she was beginning to give it another name, lust. Only with him had her soul felt more cherished and alive, but never had her mind also feel such contradiction towards her body. All the years of her existence, she only had a few descriptions of what that exclusively human emotion called love was: Love was meant to be reciprocated and that love is a cycle that included pain, regret, loss, deliverance and love again.

Her ideas were now muffled, distorted into things she couldn't understand. What if all these years she had been creating her own descriptions according to what she thought love would be? Was that naive of her? Or was she just too innocent to know for sure.

I'm drowning. Gray pulled her closer to him. His hand was caressing her shoulder and Juvia's skin began to warm up under the fabric beneath his touch, she realized she'd been shivering. Juvia slowly raised her head to look at him, to look at the man who had enslaved her whole being.

Her world revolved around him now. She had no other concerns but with him in them. She had no more thoughts that only belonged to herself, every one of them always of him. Juvia wasn't even sure if she wanted her old life back, hell, she couldn't even remember it.

This new life was also a cycle. That she knew for sure. It was a path that started with uncertainty, then it was blissful affection, doubtful thoughts and wishful thinking, utter self- loathing and back to the same inexplicable feelings of unproven, unreciprocated love.

Juvia had already said to him once that she loved him. At that one moment, she let herself be totally enslaved by him, but at that time, there was no response. Still in this movie theater, the words were not yet returned.

She examined his profile in the flickering light, his blue eyes being the most breath taking feature. She wanted to see an answer in them, a sign or even a flicker of emotion to tell her that everything was okay, that this relationship was normal, but all she remembered was the regret that had passed through those eyes many times before. Why? What does that mean? Questions added into her thought rather than answers.

If he regretted being with her, then why where his actions telling her otherwise. He suffocated her with his affection, filled her every thought, it was like he brought her the greatest joy but also the deepest sadness. She knew that this had to stop, but Juvia's body rejected the idea so hard that she couldn't bring her mind to think about it anymore. "You're turning me against myself" she muttered softly to the darkness. If he wouldn't do it then she would have to take the initiative for both their sakes. Juvia doubted she was strong enough to be the first one to step away.

Gray noticed her gaze and met her eyes. Smiling softly he closed his eyes and laid his forehead to hers, gently kissing the side of her mouth. Juvia's resolve melted away. Damn it. How weak could she get against him? She could barely think anymore when he finally kissed her full on the lips.

With a deep breath and some popcorn, Juvia brought herself to the present. That memory was already near towards The End. She called that memory in the dark room, The End, because it was where her questions were all answered. It was the oblivion of whatever they had between them. That memory of them in the theater wasn't one of her favorites. It was at that time when she'd already torn herself between loving him and hurting herself. She'd agonized over it for years after their separation, but now she knew for sure that her complete being, belonged to her again. Not one piece remained with him. Okay maybe 1/16 of it she thought. The little problem was those dreams. If she didn't have them then Juvia would have completely been freed. The world and it's bullshit.

Gray shifted in his seat, momentarily distracting her. The movie was still playing and everyone's attention was on the big screen. A character was running over a field of wheat, a cliched triumphant smile on his face, when suddenly a gun fires and he stumbles out of sight, Serves you right, no one's that happy. Shut up, your just bitter Juvia. She barely knew what the story line was, slowly she rubbed her temples and tried to ease the ensuing debate with herself. Beside her Gray tapped his fingers on the arm rest, he slightly raised his cap and now his eyes were visible. He rubbed his hand along his jaw, leaning towards her, he whispered.

"Do you wanna get out of here?"

Juvia turned to him and met his stare for a while. She only realized now how much she hated this movie, it barely caught her attention. Sorry she thought towards the movie screen, feeling a bit foolish for being too harsh on it. Her butt was sore and her popcorn was already finished, her body yearned for a walk. Why not one with him?

"We're going on ahead" Juvia whispered to Jordan, leaning onto Zef's arm. Her friend smiled up at her and nodded, waving a little to her brother and turned back to the movie. Juvia's eyes were disoriented by the sudden darkness as they got farther away from the screen. She dizzily tried to concentrate on the path she was taking when she felt Gray take her hand, steering her towards the exit. His hold was firm but gentle, a reassuring gesture of old-fashioned chivalry.

Wind breezed by them as soon as they stepped out. Gray graciously let go of her hand as they began to walk. Their steps were out of time but they slowly settled into each other's pace, his stride was quite long so he had to do most of the adjusting. Gray guided her with his hand on her back when they crossed the street. They were silent all throughout, letting the city fill in the silence between them.

City lights danced around them as they strolled. Cold air breezed around them and Juvia crossed her arms to preserve warmth. They took their time as they headed towards the park, there were only a few people when they reached the square. Gray would stop along the way and take some pictures, bending over random things and clicking away on his camera. He didn't bother to look at the shots when he was done. Juvia wondered how he managed to get the device inside the cinema. She patiently waited for him to finish and they'd resume their walk in silence.

" Where did you go when you traveled for your work?" Juvia finally asked after a moment. They were now leisurely walking side by side, her on the sidewalk and him on the edge of the street, without a certain destination in mind.

"Mostly in Europe, Luxembourg and Spain were really awesome, lots of sights. Austria's my favorite. They had a lot of museums for Beethoven and Bach and a lot of other natives, I spent most of my time there in Vienna and Graz, so much culture and old things." Gray narrated thoughtlessly, a smile on his lips. Juvia quietly listened to him, watching his expressions. "Let's see, ughh..Italy and France too, t'was damned hot as hell. I mostly shot castles and vegetation and any other interesting things I saw. I had these pictures of a baguette in different angles, I know it sounds amateur but I didn't know why I found it so fascinating but yeah..bread."

"Where did you settle the longest?"

"Mmm..In Venice, I guess, almost three weeks that I got caught up there. That was my lazy phase and I just wanted to eat a lot of pizza" He chuckled and stooped to take a few more pictures of the horizon. It was a thin line of clouds and warm colors. He was still wearing the baseball cap but she could see his eyes now. Gray smiled up at her and offered his hand. She took it without hesitation, but mostly of familiarity as she stepped down to settle beside him. They walked at the center of the road.

"How 'bout you ?" Gray turned to her as he asked.

"Work? Ughh..a lot of reading, I think all I do is read and write actually"

" You still do poetry?"

"No, unfortunately I lost that a long time ago". Juvia shrugged. She wrote a lot of poetry back then. Quite a few were dedicated to him, she remembered. Their shadows trailed behind them.

Finally they sat on a park bench and she stared up at the night sky, counting as many stars as she could to distract herself from remembering any more memories. Gray also followed her gaze and looked upwards.

"I used to see a lot of stars when I was in Greece. They were a lot more than these, just splattered to the sky. My companion would teach me about constellations, I was interested at first but later it would bore the fuck out of me. I just kept thinking if other people were watching the same stars I was." Gray said quietly. He closed his eyes, as if to remember the wonderful sight.

"It must've been awesome" Juvia said after a while "to travel around".

Gray said nothing to that. He clenched his jaw and his eyebrows pulled together. Juvia wondered if what she said was wrong, suddenly nervous of being here with him.

"It would have been if I wasn't running away Rae" He whispered and turned to her. "Sure there were a lot of pretty things to see but no place, no starry sky could help me forget..us. I wouldn't enjoy those places if I were there for the wrong reasons."

They sat there for awhile, staring at each other, without a word between them. Finally Gray turned towards the sky. Juvia closed her eyes, feeling the wind as it kissed her skin, cool and light. This was a whole different experience she had with him. Her memories of Gray were always of them showing affection and touching, but this was pleasantly different. She felt connected to him with just this silence between them, two people sitting under the black canvass, both looking at the same sky and at the same stars, although she was aware that their hands were only centimeters apart from touching.

The silence reminded her of Lyon, and she found it intriguingly strange. Words weren't exactly necessary between them. A moment of quietness with him wasn't as awkward as she thought it would be. Experiencing this with a different person overwhelmed Juvia. She wasn't so sure if she liked it. With Lyon it was spontaneous, as if the first time they met they already knew that this was how it was gonna be between them but with Gray, she wasn't used to just sitting close to him, being quiet and hardly even touching. This is probably where we start over.

Click.

Juvia's eyes fluttered open. Gray was holding his camera up to her, smiling. "Sorry" he mouthed, not wanting to ruin the silence.

Juvia smiled to say that it was okay.

Gray's phone vibrated, ruining the moment. Juvia chuckled as he took it. "Hey" He looked up at her as he listened to the person at the other end, his hair falling over his face again. If this was the past, then Juvia would have immediately reached out to stroke his hair back, but now things were different. Her hands remembered that simple gesture but she didn't feel the need to do it. Good. But her conviction only lasted for a second before her hand twitched and finally reached for his face hesitantly, raking her fingers through his hair to put them back into place. You really can't help it can you?

Gray's eyes remained on her with a hint of amusement and surprise in them, his mouth giving her a grin. He followed her little gesture and stroked her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear, as if to say thank you. Juvia's heartbeats multiplied. Her lip quivered and she swallowed the huge lump in her throat and gave him a shaky smile.

"Okay, okay, have fun. Good night" Gray said, bringing down the phone. "That was Jordan, the movie's finished already and they went to a bar. She's asking if you want to go."

"No, I think I'll call it a night"

"Walk you home?"

"Yeah sure, thanks"

They stood and began walking again. Juvia and Gray talked more about Europe along the way. He told her more about the places he went to and the people he'd worked with. He would still stop sometimes to snap several pictures and Juvia would ask if she could see it. He'd show her but didn't look at them himself, this required some amount of contact. Juvia didn't mind, it didn't feel uncomfortable. She had better control of her senses now, she didn't know if it was the same for him though.

When they were nearing an eerie and dark area, only brightened by a malfunctioning streetlight, Juvia stepped closer to Gray and he in turn, as if sensing her discomfort, brought his arm around her waist, fully pressing her small figure to his side. There were a few drunks and strangers who called out to her and she chose simply to turn to Gray, clutching tightly to the fabric of his top. She could feel Gray's tense form as he set their pace faster. He muttered several angry curses as they walked past the section.

They both sighed in relief as they stepped out into a more crowded area, resuming their walk with Gray's arm remaining tight around her waist.

They took their time and even took the stairs. Halfway through, they sat on the steps for awhile. Resuming their walk, now a little bit faster, they still talked about Gray's work and both shared their experiences, with the other attentively listening. It was such a normal conversation that Juvia guessed they were both somehow surprised.

She felt happy and pleased at their little chat as they finally reached her door. She invited him in but Gray graciously refused like a proper gentleman should have. They both had foolish smiles as they stood facing each other in Juvia's doorway.

"Thanks, I had fun tonight"

"Yeah me too, what were you celebrating again?"

"Uggh..ughh it's really complicated" Juvia shrugged with a nervous laugh, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Okay. Congratulations then, I guess." Gray had this look she knew so well. The look of wanting to know what was going on. He did that whenever he felt that it was somehow important yet he didn't have any clue what it was. She called it the 'Clueless '. He did the Clueless several times when they were together."Good night" he continued.

"Good night Gray".

"Smile for me" he whispered.

Juvia's brow raised, but she obeyed. She gave him her best smile. He still stood there with her for a few more moments before he brought his camera up and took another picture of her, catching her off guard. The soft flash momentarily blinding Juvia, he smiled a crooked grin and leaned in to her, his hand reaching to cup her face. Juvia's eyes fluttered shut in surprise, waiting for his lips to touch hers, only to feel them on her forehead.

With that, she heard his retreating footsteps.


- Separation,

Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color."
― W.s Merwin

Just want to keep you guys guessing, sorry if it's a little confusing. Please review!

Love and Luck,

-M