A/N: I would like to dedicate this chapter to my Rainbow Fetish Secretary - you know who you are ;) She really gave me the push to finish/include this chapter. Anyways, this chapter is a little different: there's individual focuses on Q's POV, Santana's POV (slightly) and Rachel's POV. I hope it works well together and the beginning of this chapter is to explain Quinn's insecurities and why she jumped so quickly to conclusions when she witnessed the hug - yes she's an idiot - they're both idiots, but we love Quinntana nonetheless, right?
I would really like to thank you guys for all of the reviews - it definitely helps keep me writing and I love to hear what people think because then it points out if I'm accomplishing what I want to do in terms of the characters or not. Anyways, I just really want to thank all of you for the love and support (on this and any other story of mine you may read). All of the follows, favorites, reviews and PMs mean a lot to me. Hope everyone has a killer week xx (I'm sorry if I disappoint anyone with this chapter).
Quinn Fabray has never felt unconditional love. The only man she ever truly gave her entire heart and trust to had disowned her for one single mistake - one lapse of judgment and his love was gone. She thought her father had unconditionally loved her - she was wrong. And so, like many other girls with daddy issues, she sought out love in all of the wrong places.
Finn - had she truly loved him or was he simply convenient? Those fireworks she claimed to have felt when she kissed him last year at that stupid kissing booth - were they real or were they simply a figment in her imagination? Those "fireworks" she felt with Finn were dull accidental splatters of paint in comparison to the exploding bombs she continuously felt erupt inside of her when her lips would touch Santana's.
Puck - her first, so yes he was special. The complicated route they had taken to love each other was an experience she would probably only have with him. But he didn't love her - not the way she deserved to be loved. His eyes always lingering, his heart never wanting to settle down. And perhaps the love she knew she held for him was simply that for a friend because seeing Puck kiss and flirt with Lauren, Mercedes, or even Rachel had not ignited one fit of jealousy. However when she found out about Santana all those years ago, she had lost it. And the thought of Santana with anyone else just hurt in ways Quinn could never explain. Seeing Santana in someone else's arms - Brittany's arms - had shattered a piece of her that she didn't even know could break that way.
Sam - the sweet boy who swept her off her feet with his sweet, corny gestures and his guitar. He was good for her - he was good to her. He had even believed her lies. But if she ever truly loved Sam, she would've never lied about Finn - she wouldn't have even thought about Finn. And even then at the end of the day, Sam left her. She thought she felt something for him when she felt an uncomfortable burning at the pit of her stomach at Rachel Berry's first train wreck extravaganza, when all she could stare at was Santana and Sam making out. The sight alone made her want to throw up sober, but when Sam had his guppy lips all over Brittany's mouth, why didn't Quinn feel the same feeling?
"I just want somebody to love me."
She recalls admitting it to Santana and Brittany - she remembers feeling her tears sting her face exposing her vulnerability. She remembers misconstruing Santana's offer to make her feel better as a sexual innuendo and softly rejecting it because she didn't want to do it - no not that way. Not with Brittany there or while she knew Santana was in love with Brittany. It would've just made everything hurt even more.
In that moment in time - it seemed like everyone had someone except for her. Finn and Rachel. Mike and Tina. Puck and Lauren. Kurt and Blaine. And Quinn wasn't blind - Santana had Brittany. It was blatantly clear that her best friend - the one she met at cheer camp at the age of 14 right after her surgery and right after she had ditched Lucy - was head over heels for the tall blonde dancer. For as long as Quinn could trace back since the Unholy Trinity was formed, Brittany had always come first to Santana. Yes, they were all best friends, but Quinn saw how Santana treated Brittany differently - she was so nice to her and never had a biting word to throw at the blue-eyed bombshell.
Quinn knew what she was to Santana since the beginning and she had settled for being a sexual crutch, while Santana was limping with a broken heart over Brittany. They weren't supposed to be anything, but frienemies with benefits. But Quinn watched enough romantic-comedies and chick flicks to realize what a stupid idea that was. It would've worked out just fine - their arrangements made sense up until Santana began to do things that made Quinn's heart skip a beat. Like arranging for Shelby to teach at McKinley, so Beth could be closer? Saying things Santana Lopez would not be caught dead saying to a living soul - like the simple word of "sorry". Or doing things Santana Lopez would never be caught doing - like cuddling. Or the fact that Santana hated kids and yet took a liking to Beth. And she said those stupid three fucking words - the words Quinn still refused to believe that she actually heard come from Santana's lips.
Quinn was scared to believe that those words could be true - she thought they only existed for Brittany. And when Rachel confirmed that Santana had only dropped out of the race because she had blackmailed her, well it just proved that Santana never made the conscious decision to choose Quinn. The comprende moment was bull shit - Santana chose Quinn by default because there was no way she was going to win Brittany without winning the election. That is, until Artie was out of the picture. And so once Bartie was no more, Santana didn't hesitate to move back the love she could never let go.
Quinn felt so stupid to believe that she had finally found someone to love her - of all people Santana Lopez. And so she spent that weekend crying - whether in Puck's arms when he came over when her mom was gone or whether it was alone, in the dark on her bed. Either way, her broken heart sought only one body to be next to hers, but that person was the one who caused this in the first place. How could you miss someone you're supposed to hate? How could you still yearn for someone who gave you hope only to break your heart?
Quinn have never felt unconditional love. Nobody ever gave it to her - or so she thought.
For some odd reason two weeks just before sectionals, Mr. Schue announced that instead of having a typical duet between Finn and Rachel, he'd like to focus on two other strong vocalist in the group: Quinn and Santana. When the announcement was made in glee club both girls stiffened in their chairs and looked at their teacher in shock and confusion. What made them even more baffled was the fact that Rachel Berry of all people was going to be coaching them. Santana was convinced: the apocalypse was coming and the world was coming to an end.
It had been two days since Santana saw what she couldn't un-see or unfortunately forget. In fact every time she managed to fall asleep, images of Puck and Quinn had bombarded her nightmares. And each time she woke up in a heavy sweat, she wanted to either break down and cry or throw up.
It felt weird to sleep in a bed that didn't have the presence of Quinn. Yes, Santana had spent nights alone in bed before, but these past few nights felt different. They felt lonely and Santana felt cold under the heaps of covers and comforters.
Monday morning her car smelled foul because all weekend she had forgotten to toss out the Chinese takeout she bought for her planned date with Quinn. But nothing could compare to the nausea she was feeling now at just the thought of being stuck in the room with only Berry and Quinn. The rest of the glee club was dismissed, leaving three uncomfortable girls behind.
Rachel didn't hesitate to stride to the center of the choir room smiling cheerily.
"It is my pleasure to have the opportunity to assist my fellow glee clubbers in succeeding in a fantastic and flawless duet in our upcoming sectionals competition," Rachel clapped her hands eagerly.
Santana was filing her nails uninterested and from the corner of her eye she could see Quinn sigh and roll her eyes.
"Get on with it Berry," Santana ordered impatiently, but still focusing all of her attention to her nails.
Rachel pulled some music sheets from her binder sitting on her chair and handed Quinn and Santana one set each.
"I have composed a mash up of sorts that will match Santana's great vocal range and Quinn's unique, but equally as talented singing."
Santana scanned the sheet quickly and scoffed, "Okay no way I'm doing this Demi Lovato number with Fabray."
She saw Quinn roll her eyes accordingly, "As much as I'd hate to agree to anything with what the Mexican Pamela Anderson has to say, I definitely do not want to do this number with her."
Santana stood up from her seat and walked down the steps to where Rachel was standing, "You know what, call me what you want, but don't take it out on me that the producers of Sixteen and Pregnant wouldn't cast you as the sobbing pregnant white girl."
Santana could see red rise to Quinn's cheeks as she glared at her from her seat, "Fuck you Santana, you would probably would have been casted as the token Latin girl who got pregnant before her Quinceanera if you weren't so busy fucking Bri - "
" - Okay! Let's tone the Jerry Springer show down just a tiny notch now, shall we?" Rachel chimed in cutting Quinn off before getting too far, but it was too late. The moment Rachel trapped these two together it was an inevitable war to wage.
"You know what you need besides a good fuck because obviously Puck ain't doing it for you considering the stick you have up your ass," Santana snapped - her blood was boiling. Memories of Puck with his hands all over Quinn came flashing in her eyes again. The nightmares she tried to forget were haunting her at this very second. Hell hath no fury like Santana's scorn, "You needs a good ass whoopin!"
"Oh please, Santana you and I both know that I won our last smack down and hands down I'd win it again," Quinn was now out of her seat making her way to where Rachel and Santana were standing.
Rachel was small - there was truth in Santana's nicknames: elf, hobbit, and midget. There was no doubt in her mind that she would fail in standing between the two HBIC's if a smack down were to in fact occur. Nonetheless she stood her ground and held her arms out to keep a safe distance between the two.
"Look, how about we settle this the Rachel-Berry-way and have a diva off? Then you two ladies can practice while competing with one another in a healthy non-violent manner?" Rachel suggested, praying to God that a miracle would occur and that everyone would leave practice today unscathed.
"Fine, the elf has a point. Wouldn't want Blondie here to get a matching black eye with her baby daddy."
Quinn rolled her eyes in response.
"Whatever Santana. If we're doing this I'm picking the song. Try to keep up."
Without waiting for approval from Rachel or Santana, Quinn turned to the band and quietly instructed them what to play.
Once Rachel was positive neither Quinn nor Santana was going to slap the other, she took a seat in the front row in the center to witness the Diva-off she had suggested.
Once the band started playing what Quinn had instructed, both Santana and Rachel raised a brow at the chosen number.
You pull my strings and push my soul
You fool my heart with every note
You drop a beat and kiss my face
You make me move then cut the base
Quinn sang the first verse with such fire and anger it took Rachel by surprise. But to Quinn it's as if no one was in the choir room, but her and Santana. She was going to call her out on her bull shit. It felt like dedication week all over again, except this time Quinn wanted to make it obvious that this song was about Santana.
And you work so hard to get me just to let me go
Yea you put me in the spotlight just to steal the show
And you try to take me home like your DiMaggio - oh oh oh
It's such a joke
She glared at Santana as she danced around her, making eye contact with only her. Quinn wanted Santana to know that this is what she made her feel like - Quinn hated her for leading her on.
Why are you singing me love songs?
What good is a love song?
What good is a love song without the love?
Why are you singing me love songs?
What good is a love song?
What good is a love song without the love?
Why are we acting like lovers?
We don't know each other
Even though we used to rule the world
Why are you singing me love songs?
What good is a love song?
What good is a love song without the love?
This part of the song Quinn felt more sad than angry. She felt a pinch in her heart at the certain line why are we acting like lovers - we don't know each other. Her eyes softened - she thought Santana was the only one who truly knew her - who could read her every want and maybe she was. But Santana took advantage of that power to simply use Quinn.
Before she could start the next verse, Santana beat her to it, stepping forward to make Quinn take a step back. It was like an unintentional tango - physically and vocally.
You're so confused it's getting old
You wear your ring but leave me cold
You're beautiful but cause me pain
You played my heart like it's a game
Santana and Quinn were now glaring at each other as Santana sang this verse. Quinn decided to join Santana for the last verse, not wanting to lose this sort of competition - ah how their relationship had come full circle.
This is the bend before the break
When we forget the harmony
This is how water colors fade
Into distant memories
There was anger and anguish attached to the way both girls sang. Clearly the words meant something to both of them. Honestly Rachel was shocked that Santana knew the words in the first place - clearly spending a lot of time with Quinn had done something to her.
Why are we acting like lovers?
We don't know each other
Even though we used to rule the world
Why are you singing me love songs?
What good is a love song?
A love song without the love
Rachel's single applause echoed through the choir room, though it seemed like Rachel wasn't in the room at all. Both Santana and Quinn were still glaring at each other, chests heaving from the last note they hit together and anger still boiling inside both of them. Once Rachel realized that both girls seemed to have forgotten about her presence, she cleared her throat obviously in an attempt to capture their attention.
"Well, both of you are clearly very talented and Mr. Schue obviously made the right decision to give you both the duet for this regionals."
Santana's head snapped to Rachel's direction, catching the out of character dialogue spilling from the Jewish girl's lips.
"Berry, what gives. What is this about?" Santana demanded, now suspicious of this whole charade.
Sure she was talented and it made total sense that Mr. Schue would finally give her recognition for her amazing voice, but seriously - of all the singers she's paired with, she ended up with Quinn? Not that Santana didn't think the blonde was talented - if you asked her in this moment to answer truthfully if she thought Quinn had pipes, she'd begrudgingly agree. But what are the chances that of all people, they would be the chosen duet. Didn't show choir judges eat that straight-hetero kind of lovey dove type bull shit duet anyway?
"What are you talking about Santana?" Rachel feigned innocence.
"If this was legit Mr. Schue's decision, your ass would've talked during the entire rehearsals talking about how you've worked hard for all of the main parts, and how you're professionally inclined to take the spotlight and gushing over the fact that you and Finnocence's ogre ass have the perfect blend to another stupid Journey's melody," Santana ranted and pointed out, "something is going on because you didn't do that or walk out - to much of my dismay."
Quinn stood quiet, but now had her eyes on Rachel. Santana had a point and if she could avoid these stupid rehearsals with the stupid brunette and the annoying shorter one, well Quinn really wouldn't mind getting out of it. She crossed her arms and waited for Rachel's reply.
"Okay look," Rachel conceded, putting her hands out in defense, "Mr. Schue informed me that he'd give me all of the upcoming solos in any of the performances, under one condition. I had to agree to step aside for regionals and train you to be ready." Rachel hoped she was a good of an actress as Barbara because she was sweating bullets.
Santana squinted her eyes and still stared at the shorter girl doubtfully, "It still doesn't add up. Why me and Q?"
Santana felt Quinn's eyes look at her a certain way at the nickname, but Santana had to brush off the feeling it gave her.
"Stupid fucking blonde. Stop looking at me that way," Santana angrily thought.
"I'm not sure myself, Santana. That is a question you'd have to ask Mr. Schue on why he would use your raspy voice with Quinn's lack luster voice," Rachel had to change her character - clearly she was not convincing Santana.
"Do you want to get your ass kicked?" Santana threatened.
Rachel simply shrugged, "I'm not the one you have a problem with here, Santana. Clearly Mr. Schue for some absurd reason thought your voice would be compatible with Quinn's, but unfortunately overlooked the fact that your personalities obviously clash," Rachel was contradicting her earlier character at the beginning of this private rehearsal, but she had no choice.
Perhaps if Quinn and Santana had a common enemy it would help bring them together somehow. Rachel mentally patted herself on the back for realizing and executing this plan so diligently and quickly on her toes.
"If we want to win regionals, and if I want to have my future solos secured, you both will have to practice everyday - even on Sunday."
"Fuck that bull shit, I'd rather go to church here with tubbers than spend my weekend with you nagging me," Santana countered.
"And I'd rather spend a day in Hell with the Devil herself," Quinn added, feeling too quiet in this conversation.
"Well, it's good to see you two finally agree on something. Weekend rehearsals I will not be present; however, I demand recordings of these rehearsals as proof that they're actually happening."
"Who died and made you queen, Berry?" Santana scoffed.
"Santana let's not pretend that you aren't excited for this moment to shine. You and I both know your blatant resentment of me being the star of this Glee club, therefore you and I both know that you secretly are relishing this moment," Rachel was on her A-game now, "If I don't show Mr. Schue that you two are actually working together and practicing, your duet gets the plug pulled and I lose my promised solos."
Santana rolled her eyes and folded her arms. She neither denied or confirmed any of the accusations or assumptions Rachel had made.
"So, it's settled then?" Rachel piped up, "Practice after Glee practice for an hour with me during the weekdays and on weekends, you two are on your own."
"It's not like we have a choice," Quinn grumbled rolling her eyes.
Rachel clapped her hands excitedly, "Great, you two can keep those music sheets as your own copies. Today's rehearsal went very well, don't you two think?"
Both girls just rolled their eyes at the same time - Rachel had to hold back a chuckle to how synchronized their movements were. Rachel Berry, number 1 fan of Quinn and Santana getting together - who would've thought?
"Okay, so I'll see you ladies tomorrow."
As soon as Rachel was done talking, Santana bee lined it to her seat to gather her things and Quinn did the same. Rachel observed them silently, both girls unaware stuck in their own worlds and focused on leaving first, but their similarities in planning and thinking had them both crashing into each other at the doorway.
"Ugh, would you watch where you're going Shamu?" Santana sneered.
"Maybe you should watch where your fake tits are flying next time, wannabe Kim Kardashian," Quinn jeered back.
Santana just groaned and grumbled a sort of animalistic noise and Quinn's throat mirrored a similar sound as they both headed out of the door and walked in opposite directions once they were out of the door frame. Rachel simply shook her head at the two and pulled out her cell phone, scrolling through her contacts.
"Noah?"
"Sup," Puck answered.
"Phase one on my part is in process," Rachel confirmed, hugging her binders closely.
It was Rachel's plan all along to pair the two HBIC's up in order to put them on the road to reconciliation. She had asked Mr. Schue to give the duet spot to Quinn and Santana and promised she would make sure they would be ready by regionals.
"Surprised to hear you're still alive, Berry," Puck admitted.
"Believe me, I think today was one of the easier days."
"Well, let's hope this plan of yours wins us regionals so my part of the plan can get these two boinking," Puck was never very articulate with his words.
"Such a romantic," Rachel sarcastically commented.
"Puckerman is always down for the ladies. Anyways, gotta go Berry. Fabray is on the other line and most likely she's going to talk my ear off about how much she hates Santana right now."
"Okay, good luck."
Wednesday: Day 3
"Watch where the fuck you're stepping, big foot!" Santana shoved Quinn out of her personal bubble after the blonde had stepped on her foot (whether it was an accident or on purpose, Rachel would never know).
"Well if you could take a few fucking lessons from your precious Brittany, maybe you'd know how to dance better. Finn could do these fucking steps without crashing into me," Quinn screamed.
Rachel rubbed her temples and reached in her purse for some aspirin. After day 2, she had realized packing some aspirin would be a good idea after listening to the duo scream for 2 hours and sing for all of fifteen minutes during the entire practice.
Thursday: Day 4
"No, clearly Quinn can't hit this fucking note. I should sing this line," Santana pointed out to Rachel.
"It wouldn't make any sense for you to sing this line in the middle of my fucking verse," Quinn countered.
"Then you know what, just don't fucking sing the verse - how about you sway in the back like a good little palm tree?"
"Oh please, you think you're Beyonce, when really you're a Michelle," Quinn poked at Santana's shoulder, knowing where to hit her physically and verbally.
"Oh I will ends you Fabray. Nobody fucking calls me Michelle," Santana shook her head and raised her arms as if asking for a fight.
Rachel Berry: Kill me NOW.
Rachel secretly texted Puck. It was only day four and Rachel was wondering if any of this was worth it.
Monday: Day 8
Rachel was watching the recording of Quinn's and Santana's "practices" which really consisted of an hour of silence, both girls as far apart as they could be in someone's living room and simply both on their phones. There were only a few words spoken and perhaps maybe half of the number was actually practiced… once. Rachel watched four hours (two hours on each day) of literally nothing.
"You guys, this is not practicing!" Rachel stressed, "You guys barely even talked to each other! We get more done when I'm present."
"Believe me, your presence is not a fucking present, Berry," Santana idly replied.
"You guys, regionals is literally four days away and you've wasted two days being in the same room texting someone else," Rachel stressed, "I get it. You two hate each other. Okay and maybe I am here for the selfish benefits of those solos," Rachel mentally patted herself on the back for character continuity for remembering her original lie, "But it doesn't mean I want to lose and it doesn't mean I don't care about you guys or this family. As much as you two hate to admit it, this club is a family and our family is relying on you two to buck up, get along for all five minutes for a song and do what Mr. Schue knows your capable of doing! Fail me all you want - you guys hate me anyways! But to fail everyone else, especially Mr. Schue?!"
And in true Rachel Berry fashion, she stormed out shaking her head furiously unable to find any more words, leaving the two girls slightly stunned at her rant. They looked at each other apologetically.
When Rachel had returned twenty minutes later after screaming at Puck that the two were hopeless and that they would rather have their limbs ripped apart than do a duet together, she was please and quite surprised to see the two were actually in somewhat of a close proximity of each other, looking over the music sheet and talking about something.
Since Rachel was still standing at the door frame, and both girls' backs were towards her, she took a quick picture to send to Puck of them standing actually shoulder-to-shoulder.
Rachel Berry: I may have been wrong about these two. Look: progress.
Friday: Day 12 (Day Before Regionals)
Santana and Quinn actually managed to go through a few runs of the entire number during Glee practice with everyone and during their own private rehearsal with Rachel. Rachel felt like a proud mom in a sense - the two finally got their shit together and worked together to make the number flawless. The insults and fights were down to a bare minimum and Rachel had stopped bringing aspirin to rehearsals by Tuesday.
At one point in the day, she swore she saw the two girls laugh about something together. But of course as quickly as it came, it vanished just as fast. But it was definitely progress from the first day when they both just wanted to beat the living shit out of each other. Now their choreography was fluid, they harmonized flawlessly, and instead of working against each other in competition, they were working together as a team.
Mr. Schue applauded them, staying after Glee rehearsals to witness the last private session between the three girls. He was glad to have listened to Rachel because it was really a great number and it would definitely give them the edge to overthrow the competition.
"That was great guys, you're definitely going to kill it tomorrow," Mr. Schue smiled and received proud smiles from both Santana and Quinn.
"Well, it was Quinn's idea to harmonize the bridge," Santana admitted.
"Yea, but Santana came up with most of the choreography and she's hitting all the high notes," Quinn offered.
"No, no you totally kill your verses though," Santana actually made eye contact with Quinn and was talking to her without adding any rude nicknames.
Rachel looked at them suspiciously, but regardless remained proud. She whipped out her phone while the two continued to talk to Mr. Schue and she texted Puck.
Rachel Berry: Phase 1, has reached its completion. Handing the baton over to you, Noah.
Noah Puckerman: Let's get this partay started!
