~ * Chapter 11 * ~
Percy knew he should be embarrassed. Thirteen almost fourteen-year-olds weren't supposed to break down sobbing on their father's lap. That was behavior more befitting a three almost four-year-old. But he was too tired to feel properly embarrassed. His back stung in earnest now, his face felt funny from all the crying and his headache came back with vengeance. So instead, he let his head stay where it was, tucked under Poseidon's chin and let his father rock him back and forth. His sobs had slowly gotten weaker and weaker until they stopped altogether but Poseidon still hadn't let him go. He ran a hand through Percy's hair, a simple action that reminded Percy fiercely of his mother. If he weren't so completely and utterly spent he might have started crying again.
He closed his useless eyes and listened to the steady sound of Poseidon's heart. Thump thu-thump. Thump, thu-thump…
It was dark. Percy flailed for a moment, his heart hammering in his chest, before he remembered; he lived in the dark now. Even though it was dark, an all-encompassing oblivion that sighted people just couldn't understand, shapes formed and dance before him. He couldn't exactly see them, but he knew they were there, just like he knew no matter where he was in the city, if he tilted his head up there the Empire State Building would tower high and proud into the sky. This feeling, however, wasn't one of comfort but rather of unease. The shapes pressed in around him, suffocating, clogging.
He tried to twist away, to escape, but there was nowhere to go. He was trapped by the darkness, the emptiness of it all a tangible force that prevented him from fleeing. There was a grinding in his ears, terrible and high pitched, the sound of metal on metal, a scream of inhuman proportion. He thought it might have been him.
Something ran across his forehead and he instinctively flinched, remembering the red hot pain that seared over the same spot and stole everything he once loved.
"Percy," a warm voice coaxed, pulling him away from the shapes and the darkness and pain. Fingers ran through his hair and, trembling, Percy turned into them.
He was dreaming, Percy knew, or maybe he once was but had since awakened. He wasn't sure, but he knew the hand that carded through his hair, gentle, soothing, didn't belong to his mother.
"I need you to wake up for a second," the voice pressed. "Just for a minute Percy."
Percy turned his head to the side. Poseidon. It was Poseidon who had woken him. He let his father gently take him by the arm and he fought against his blankets to sit up. His ears were clogged, distorting the world around him, and the irregularity caused him to sway a little. His heartbeat pounded like a war drum in his ears, threatening to overtake and conquer all other sounds, to leave him utterly oblivious to the world. He swallowed hard and focused on Poseidon's voice.
"Open your mouth – " the words were faint and garbled, as though Poseidon were speaking to him from beneath the surface of one of his beloved tanks. Percy felt panic begin to minutely rise in his chest, his heartbeat accelerating and smothering the rest of Poseidon's words.
This was a whole new kind of vulnerability. Being blind was bad enough, but sound was Percy's anchor. The world had been reduced to the textures beneath his fingertips and the vibrations in his ears; he didn't know what he would do if sound left him as sight had. The thought of being cut off from the world, even if only temporarily until his ears cleared up, was utterly terrifying.
Poseidon's hand was on his chin, grounding him.
" – temperature – " he thought he heard Poseidon say. Oh. Okay. Taking his temperature, he could do that.
He opened his mouth and let the cold glass of what presumably was a thermometer slide under his tongue. That helped, that concrete feeling, the contract between the cold of the thermometer and the heat of his body, Poseidon's hand on his shoulder. That was real. It was okay, his hearing was just a little stuffed from the cold. It would be okay.
" – one hundred and one – "
More words followed, but Poseidon was moving away and his voice faded out. Percy felt a small stab of panic, don't leave me, before a hand was on his shoulder and gently urging him to lay down again.
" – no, not on your back – "
Something warm and soft draped over him, edging snugly under his sides. Poseidon was tucking him in. Not a baby, Percy knew he should say but the selfish and frightened part of him squashed the words and greedily soaked up the attention.
Don't leave me.
He waited, dreading the moment Poseidon would leave. Time ticked by, immeasurable seconds or minutes or hours, it didn't matter, as he waited. Yet still Poseidon lingered. He faded out of consciousness, only to come back some indistinguishable time later and still Poseidon remained. Like an uncertain clownfish drifting beyond the safe caresses of its anemone only to retreat behind that curtain of protection a moment later, Percy floundered between the realms of consciousness, and always Poseidon was there.
"Percy?"
Poseidon gently shook his shoulder, rousing him from his semi-conscious state.
"Hestia's here."
Percy forced himself to sit up and once he managed to get upright a cold glass was pushed into his hand. A little round object was pressed into his palm a second later and he frowned, rolling it between his fingers before coming to the conclusion that it was a pill and the glass was probably full of water to wash it down with. Assuming Poseidon knew what he was doing, Percy swallowed the pill and chased it down with water. As he swished water around in his mouth, a dainty hand brushed across his forehead, knuckles rasping lightly against his hairline as Hestia's voice rang out;
"Hello dear, how do you feel?"
"Terrible," Percy truthfully replied, his voice raspy. He probably should have lied, pretended to be fine, he could take care of himself… but he was so tired…
And maybe…maybe that was okay. Maybe he didn't have to take care of himself alone anymore.
Hestia ruffled his hair, speaking as she moved away but her voice was too soft for him to catch all her words.
" – move… couch… downstairs?"
Percy's nose wrinkled of its own accord as he pitifully repeated, "Downstairs?"
" – right here helping you – "
Percy thought about it. Poseidon and Hestia couldn't stay in his room all day while he miserably let his immune system rage its battle against whatever virus tormented him. But maybe Poseidon would stay home and if Percy were downstairs, he wouldn't be alone. Downstairs sounded like the best option then. Percy swung his legs over the side of his bed, setting his jaw determinedly as he pushed himself to his feet. He could feel himself trembling and for a terrible moment, he was afraid he would topple over when a strong arm wrapped around his shoulder.
"I got you," Poseidon declared, their proximity allowing his strong voice to clearly cut through Percy's foggy head. Percy's eyes closed, not that it really mattered, as he allowed himself to sink against his father, accepting his help.
The stairs weren't terrible, even if he couldn't quite remember how many there were, but Poseidon was a comfortable weight at his side and Percy trusted him not to let Percy fall. Eventually, he was on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping himself up in the blanket he left behind the night before.
" – should work better – " Hestia was saying, her voice becoming increasingly clear as she leaned over him, brushing hair out of his face. "I'll stop by again after work okay?"
"'Kay."
The pill kicked in some time after that and slowly the world became clearer. His head still ached, his back stung, and his stomach was becoming increasing painful but at least he could hear Poseidon move around now. Poseidon took his temperature once more, refilling his glass of water before settling down next to Percy.
Percy managed to wallow in silent pain and self-pity at his sickly state for ten minutes tops before Poseidon was fussing about him again, asking if he needed breakfast. The thought of food made Pery feel sick and, his stomach painfully turning, he shook his head. The coughing started around then, intermediately interrupted when Poseidon would all but shove the thermometer down his throat, callous hands on Percy's heated forehead and running through his hair.
The hovering never stopped. Percy actually had to bat Poseidon away ("stop that, you literary took my temperature five minutes ago") but still the man hovered. Do you need more water? More blankets? Is that a normal cough? Are you sure you don't want something to eat?
The mere thought of food still made Percy want to puke but he found himself saying yes, okay, I'll try a couple crackers. He mused it over as Poseidon quickly went to fetch some, realizing he only relented to hear that note of relief in Poseidon's voice. To make his father feel useful instead of helpless. Huh. It was a familiar feeling, something he used to do for his mom all the time. Naw, Mom, it's okay I can just walk home, in fact, it'll be better that way. I get so restless you know. Naw, I don't need lunch money this week I still have some left over from last week. Honestly, it's fine.
Little lies, but ones that brought that look (or well, sound now) of relief to his mom's…his parents' faces (or voices, whatever, it was a complicated comparison apparently and he was too sick to sort it out).
The crackers were a bad idea. Really, Percy knew that before but he figured if he munched on them slowly, his stomach wouldn't protest too much. He was wrong. Five minutes after swallowing the first slightly stale saltine his knees were scraping against the cold tile floor of the bathroom, the stench of vomit potent in the air, chest heaving as he retched and acid burning his already raw throat. God, the things he did for Poseidon.
He sat trembling on the floor, his stomach cramping and protesting, wanting to throw up more but having expelled all its meager contents and rendered his abdomen muscles too weak to continue dry heaving.
"Here," Poseidon's low voice said, gently prying one of Percy's trembling hands from their death grip on the toilet (he was too exhausted to be properly disgusted by any of this but distantly wondered why Poseidon wasn't).
His father closed his fingers around a dripping towel, little droplets of warm water trickling down his forearm. He listened to Poseidon's footsteps fade away, wincing with every dull pound as he willed his trembling hand to stay still long enough to clean his face. Feeling marginally cleaner, he braced himself against the toilet, taking a deep breath as he prepared to push himself upright.
"Do you feel any better?"
Percy did not jump at Poseidon's sudden reappearance, but only because his body was too exhausted to muster the effort.
"No," Percy rasped, "I feel awful."
Poseidon gently rubbed his back as he dissolved into a coughing fit. "Alright," his father said, his voice gentle and worried, causing a pang of sadness in Percy's chest that was rapidly overtaken by a strange warmth.
"Come on, let's get you back to the couch. Do you need help up?"
He really shouldn't, but Percy found himself nodding and allowing Poseidon to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him to his feet. They stayed like that for a minute, Percy bet his face told Poseidon just how much he might need the toilet in a minute, until the nausea faded. Poseidon helped him shuffle back to the couch, scolding Percy when he tried to lay on his back.
"Your burn," Poseidon dutifully reminded him, as if Percy couldn't feel the ache between his shoulders.
A hand, grasping his shoulder firmly, prevented Percy from flopping over and kept him on his side. Percy gave a tired huff but dutifully stayed on his side.
"I don't suppose you want any more of this - ?" Poseidon asked and Percy heard the crinkle of the crackers' wrapper. His horror and nausea must have showed on his face because Poseidon quickly added, "It's alright. I'll take care of it."
I'll take care of it.
The back of Poseidon's calloused hand brushed against his forehead before drifting higher and smoothing Percy's hair back. It wasn't the light, dainty hand of Percy's dreams, but it was warm and gentle. His chest felt tight and as the hand pulled away he found himself whispering;
"Thank you."
As exhaustion pulled him under Poseidon's confused voice followed him, "For what?"
For being there.
Percy wasn't entirely sure when Hestia arrive only that some indistinguishable time later he was upheaving again and behind the sharp stench of sickness he caught a wisp of the firewood and ash that always clung to his aunt. Her sweet voice tsked in his ear, a smaller but equally calloused hand smoothing his hair back.
The medicine didn't do much to settle his stomach or quell the fire raging across his skin, but his hearing was crystal again and for that, at least, he was grateful. The television buzzed lowly in the background, some drama Poseidon pretended to complain about when Hestia flicked it on as if he hadn't been watching Keeping up with the Kardashians before she came. Percy might feel like crap, but the sound of Poseidon shuffling around in the kitchen, the curses he muttered under his breath mingling with the sharp clang of metal, and the perfectly in tune humming from Hestia made the misery a little more bearable.
It was just him and Hestia in the living room; Poseidon had set out to make a light dinner for himself and Hestia. His aunt was sitting at the end of the couch, his feet tucked in her lap, one hand curled around Percy's ankle and rubbing soothing circles on the exposed skin there.
"Aunt Hestia?" Percy asked, his voice only slightly muffled by the fabric of the couch. Hestia gave his ankle a gentle squeeze.
"Yes, dear?"
Percy squirmed a little, his fingers curling around the slightly scratchy material of his blanket. "I…" he faltered. It was stupid, he was just being stupid. "I like having you and Poseidon here."
The hand on his ankle tightened but Percy kept babbling before his aunt could say anything. "I mean, it's been really nice, and Dad's trying, he's really trying. I feel, I dunno, it feels good, and nice and stuff. I like it here, I really do – "
"Breathe," Hestia softly instructed, squeezing his ankle one more as his voice came in great gasps, talking faster than he could breathe. "That's good Percy, that's normal. We're so – "
"Am I replacing my mom?"
The words tore through his throat, guilt blossoming painfully in his stomach, swiftly overtaking any lingering nausea or sickness related pains. The fear had been niggling at his mind ever since he woke up, when Poseidon's hand was on Percy's forehead and he didn't care. He didn't care that it was Poseidon and not his mom; he was happy that it was Poseidon.
"Oh Percy," Hestia breathed softly, the couch groaning as she moved. His feet were picked off her lap and he winced the slightest bit, his stomach in knots. He needn't fear, however, for Hestia stood and, a second later, the couch by his head dipped as she settled down beside him.
"Shh – "
"But I didn't care," Percy cried, guilt clawing up his throat.
"No Percy," Hestia whispered, carding her fingers through his hair. "No honey – you're moving on. You're not trying to replace your mom, dear heart. Letting other people into your heart doesn't mean you have to force others out to make room – love doesn't work that way. Letting yourself care for new people doesn't mean you stop caring about the old ones."
"But she's my mom," Percy's voice cracked at the end.
"I know sweetie, and she'll always be your mom," Hestia soothed, placing a kiss to his forehead. Her lips felt cool against his heated forehead and he found himself leaning into her touch. "Nothing can ever take away the years you had with her, or how much she loved you and how much you loved her. But just because she's gone doesn't mean you can't be happy and let Poseidon take care of you. He's not trying to replace your mom any more than you're trying to find a replacement. We just want to make sure you're taken care of and loved. Don't you think that's what your mom would've wanted? For you to move on and be happy and loved?"
Her words brought Sally's letter to mind, words all but forgotten. He couldn't exactly reread it, written on paper as it was. But he remembered the dream he had after that night, of his mom's faded worried but loving face. Please Percy, for me?
"Do you feel like you're trying to replace your mom?" Hestia asked softly.
The panic and guilt in his stomach settled a little at Hestia's gentle words and soft touches. He found himself shaking his head.
"I don't want a replacement," he said with conviction. "But I wasn't thinking about – "
"That's one of the things about moving on," Hestia said gently. "We stop thinking so much. It doesn't mean they're gone or that we've forgotten about them, we're just not allowing the grief to rule our lives. We're allowing ourselves to be happy, even though they're gone."
She pressed her lips against his forehead again, gripping his hand tight. "It's okay to be happy Percy."
"Everything alright out here?"
Percy started at Poseidon's voice, his chest and throat unbearably tight, but Hestia didn't budge. She carded her fingers through his hair one last time before pulling away, ending her soft kiss.
"I think we're going to be just fine," Hestia said, squeezing his hand. "Right Percy?"
Percy gave a jerky nod, not trusting his voice. He heard the floor creak under his father's weight as Poseidon drew closer to the back of the couch, a heavy hand resting atop Hestia's on his head.
"Are you feeling better Percy?"
He felt like shit.
"Getting there," he croaked and he could practically feel Poseidon smile. It opened something borderline painful in his chest as Poseidon and Hestia talked over his head, their presence wrapping around him more effectively than the blanket draped across his shoulders. He leaned his forehead against Hestia's hip, Poseidon's hand still on his head, the murmur of their conversation and the television buzzing through his brain. He swore he could even hear the ocean behind it all, outside the four walls of the living room, where the waves rolled across the shore. Percy closed his eyes and let it all pull him under.
"We're so glad to have you back, you really had us worried."
The slick thump of a knife provided a steady backdrop to Nereid's voice as she prepared chum while he none too patiently waited, sitting on top of the counters he was constantly getting yelled at for using as furniture. Percy wondered what it said about him that the sound of metal slicing through day old fish and the putrid stench of rotting flesh no longer disgusted him. He decided it reflected more on Poseidon's unique brand of parenting than himself.
"Poseidon overreacted," Percy huffed. "I was fine after the first day."
"I'm sure," Nereid placated, amusement thick in her voice. Percy scowled. "But he let you leave the house didn't he?"
"To go shopping," Percy said distastefully, wrinkling his nose, "clothes shopping."
"The horrors," Nereid laughed. The sound of cutting stopped and Percy hopped off the counter, holding out his hands. Nereid obligingly pushed a bucket into his groping fingers as she continued, "but that's good, you needed new clothes."
"There was nothing wrong with my olds ones," Percy complained, carefully shifting the bucket of chum as he waited for Nereid to fill her own.
"They were too small and almost worn clean through," Nereid disagreed, rapping him lightly on the head as she led the way out of the bait room.
"They fit me fine," Percy grumbled, sick of this argument as he followed the barefooted pattering of Nereid's footsteps.
"You were flashing your ankles left and right," Nereid teased. "A couple centuries ago, you would've been arrested for indecency."
Someone passing by snorted. Percy scowled harder. It was probably Dane, he thought sourly.
"They were – "
" – fine, yes, so you tell me."
Nereid paused, her footsteps faltering as the sound of jingling keys interrupted her speech. "But just because something's functional doesn't mean you have to keep it. Let Poseidon take care of you – and if he wants to spoil his only child, let him."
Percy grunted but knew better than to argue.
"So," Nereid said, ushering him forward and changing the subject. "Poseidon tells me he's taking you to Florida."
"Yeah," Percy said, grimacing when some of the chum spilled over his hand as he set the bucket down. It didn't last for long, however, and a smile starting twitching up his face. "Aunt Hestia thought we could use a vacation and Poseidon doesn't know how to do anything that doesn't involve water so."
"So, therefore, you are vacationing in Florida," Nereid finished with a laugh.
"What are you two gossiping about now?" Poseidon's falsely suspicious voice echoed across the room. "What lies are you telling him now Nereid?"
"I was just telling Percy how you had to take him to the Seaquarium when you were in Florida," Nereid replied without missing a beat. Poseidon made a disgusted sound, but Nereid wasn't finished, taking Percy by the arm as she said, "They have a wonderful dolphin show and the deep sea exhibit – "
"Stop corrupting my son," Poseidon's hands clamped down on Percy's ears and he found himself wind-milling as his father bodily dragged him away from the giggling Nereid. "I won't tolerate such blasphemy. I should fire you."
"Where would you be without me?" Nereid laughed.
"Lost and over budgeted probably," Percy piped up.
"Not to mention understaffed," Nereus grunted from somewhere.
"I can't believe you're all conspiring against me," Poseidon grumbled as Percy laughed with Nereid.
"Traitorous imp," Poseidon growled, trapping Percy's head beneath his arm. Percy yelped, shoving against the arm as he tried to escape but Poseidon wasn't having any of that and tightened his iron grip, unfazed by Percy's flailing.
"Look at that energy," Poseidon mused, sounding perfectly relaxed and smug, the jerk. "It's cute how he thinks he can escape. What do you think, Nereid, is he well enough to travel?"
"If he's well enough to put up with you, he deserves that damn vacation," Nereus huffed.
"I will fire you one of these days," Poseidon cheerfully responded. "But as it so happens, I just got off the phone with a colleague of mine – Lilaea, Nereid remember her? – and she invited us down to her research facility."
"Really?" Percy asked, his voice slightly muffled from where he was pinned to Poseidon's side. He pinched the underside of Poseidon's arm and the man released him in surprise, cursing.
"Brat," he said, swiping at Percy's head. "But yes, she's expecting us on Friday."
Poseidon's hand rested on his shoulder, left there from when he swatted at Percy. Percy hesitated, then allowed himself to lean into his father's touch. It's okay to be happy Percy.
"You okay Perce?" Poseidon asked, gently squeezing his shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm okay Dad," Percy said, clearing his throat. He shook his head and then tilted to angle his face towards his father's voice. "So…the Miami Seaquarium?"
A/n If I was in the business of naming my chapters I would call this one 'the road to acceptance'. Except that would mean I would actually have to name all of my chapters and that's a commitment I don't feel I'm ready to make; I could never live up to Riordan's chapter names anyway. My commitment issues aside, I'm sorry that got kinda heavy. I promise to try and to throw in some more fluff next time, but this was an issue I never really thought about when I wrote FAtD and I felt like I should rectify that. Does the ending help a little? Thank you to all my wonderfully reviewers and everyone who's supported this story. I love each and every one of you and your spectacular patience. I hope you enjoyed ~ *
(Hi Hermit!)
