Thank you all so much for the positive reviews. I know I haven't been able to respond to each and every one, but please know that your reviews mean the world to me!
I don't own any of the characters and am just taking them out for a joy ride.
Previously:
I looked over to Stephanie. The doctor was still working with her, and Bobby was still holding her hand. Stephanie met my gaze and nodded. "Carlos, I will be ok. Go with our son. Don't let him be alone. Bobby can stay with me."
I quickly kissed her. "Babe, I am so proud of you. You were so strong and brave. I love you!"
"I love you too Carlos. Go! Make sure he's going to be ok!"
I rushed from the room, quickly following the staff as they rolled the small isolette containing my son into the elevator. My eyes never left my son as he was lying there connected to all sorts of wires and tubes. I've never felt so happy, yet so helpless, in all of my life. There, in the elevator, I prayed once more. I thanked God for the miracle of my son. And I prayed for strength for him to fight in the days ahead.
When the elevator doors opened, a NICU nurse pulled me aside. "Mr. Manoso, we will be taking care of your son and checking him over to see how he's doing. This will take a few minutes, but you are welcome to stand here in the window and watch. Once we are finished, one of the NICU pediatricians will come out and talk with you. First, I need to put this bracelet on your arm. Identical ones will be put on your son and on Stephanie. Do you have a name picked out yet?"
"No, we never…." I wasn't sure what to say. Everything had happened so fast in the past few weeks, we had totally overlooked picking out a name.
"It's ok. You have time. I'll be back with you shortly."
I stood in the window while nurses and doctors listened to my son's lungs and heart. He was so tiny, and there, in that moment, I felt helpless. I have always prided myself on being prepared for anything. But nothing in my entire life had ever prepared me for the feelings and emotions that were flooding my mind this minute. Sure, I was around babies all my life. And I know the absolute love that a parent feels for their child. I have a daughter for Pete's sake! But when Julie was born, I was in the army, and she was already four months old by the time I met her. I wasn't there for the birth. And she was full term. It was nothing like this. Seeing my son there in the clear isolette, attached to wires tubes, he looks so helpless and fragile. I would give anything to be able to make him better. To have given him a few more weeks in his tiny cocoon in his mother's womb.
After what seemed like an eternity, a tall middle aged man made his way from the NICU to the nursery window where I was standing. "Mr. Manoso?" He shook my hand as I turned to him. "Yes, please tell me! How is my son?"
"Well, so far things look pretty good. I won't lie to you and say he's out of the woods, but he is holding his own right now. He was very early, 25 weeks in fact. But he's in the right place. We're equipped to take care of babies this early, and right now he's strong and fighting. Your wife was given steroids early enough to help develop his lungs. Her being able to hold off labor for the past two weeks helped give him an even better fighting chance. Had he been born when she first came in, his odds probably wouldn't have been so good. He is on a ventilator that is helping him to breathe. But his settings are low, so the machine isn't having to do all the work for him. He weighs 1 pound 14 ounces and is 13 and a half inches long. His chances for survival right now are a little better than 50 to 60%, but like I said, we were able to give Stephanie steroids so he has that in his favor. He has a long road ahead of him. Some babies have lingering difficulties and disabilities due to being premature. But right now it's too early to know what those will be, if any. He will most likely be in the hospital at least two and a half to three months. We will continue to run tests on him, and he will be closely monitored. Do you have any questions so far?"
"How long until we can see him? Until Stephanie can see him?"
"We're still getting him settled in. Stephanie will be cleaned up and they will keep a close check on her for the next several hours. Once she is stable from the delivery, they will bring her up to see him. I'll let you peek in for a few minutes while the nurses are working and getting blood samples from him. The nurse will show you where to scrub in and you'll have to put on a gown."
"Thank you doctor."
I followed the nurse to a small room with a sink and a cart filled with yellow gowns and towels.
"Mr. Manoso, follow the instructions on the wall for washing your hands. It's very important because all of the babies in the NICU have compromised immune systems from them being born too early. Once you have washed your hands and arms for the specified length of time, you can grab one of the gowns behind you and put it on. I'll help you tie it in the back. Then you can go meet your son. You won't be able to hold him, but you can put your hands through the isolette and touch him. "
The nurse stood there waiting on me to wash and scrub my hands. Once I was finished, she helped me into the required gown and I made my way to my son's sterile environment. Some of the nurses and doctors had wandered to other babies in the NICU, and there was only one nurse left with him. She was writing notes on a clipboard and looked up. "Hello. I'm Brittany. You must be the proud papa! Your son is doing well so far. Would you like to touch his hand?"
My eyes were glued to the small form lying in the clear isolette. I nodded feebly, and the nurse smiled and chuckled lightly. "Don't worry. All new dads are nervous. He's very small, but he's doing okay right now. You can reach in and touch him if you'd like. But be gentle. Premature babies are born with immature nervous systems so their reaction to things can be exaggerated. Just be very gentle and touch him lightly. We try to make sure the babies here aren't over stimulated by sound, touch, or light. It can make them fussy and make them struggle more than necessary."
Brittany stepped to the side and opened up one side of the isolette. I reached in and ever so lightly, hesitantly, touched my son's hand. He was barely longer than my hand! As I touched his small, frail hand, he wrapped his tiny fingers around my index finger. That one action was all it took for the dam gates to break and tears silently ran down my face. His grip was light, but I stood there in silence as this small wonder gripped my finger and my heart.
"Mr. Manoso, it looks like he knows who his daddy is. He's already wrapped around your finger, huh?"
I responded in a voice so quiet, it surprised me. "Yes. He does. It's hard to believe he can do that. He's so small."
"Yes, he's small. But he's bigger than some 25 weekers that we've had in here. Do you have any questions for me at this time? I'm going to have to take him for a couple of tests shortly, but we'll ring the phone in your wife's room when we bring him back. Her nurses will bring her down in a few hours to see him."
I finally broke my gaze from my son. "She's actually my fiancée. As far as questions, the doctor that I spoke with answered most of the questions I had. But I do have one concern. My fiancée and I…both of us…we work in a line of work that is, shall we say, dangerous. There are people who would love nothing more than to harm us or my son in some way. I have already spoken with the doctors in labor and delivery, but there will be someone here watching over him the entire time he is here. I assume that won't be a problem?"
"We've already been told of the arrangements that were made by you and hospital administration. The guard won't be able to stay in the room with him at all times, but we will make sure that he is within sight range of the baby at all times. We've placed his isolette in front of the viewing windows, closest to the nurses' station, so that it is convenient for both us and whomever you have here. The hospital is also equipped with a monitoring system. The baby is fitted with a special ankle bracelet and can't be removed from the confines of the NICU. If anyone tries, an alarm sounds and the entire ward goes on lockdown. Does that sound ok?"
I nodded my head in understanding. "Thank you Brittany. I'll go check on my fiancée now. Bobby Brown will be with my son until we return."
I took a couple of quick pictures with my cell phone for Stephanie, and then stepped outside the nurse's area to phone Bobby. I asked him to come to the NICU so that I could go and check on Stephanie. He was there within a few minutes and I couldn't hide the smile on my face.
"How is the little man Boss?"
"He's holding his own Bobby. They say he was born way too early, but he's strong man. His nurse said for now he's doing well. I got to touch him, and he grabbed my finger. It was almost as if he knew who I was. It's unbelievable. Two weeks ago I had no idea that I was going to be a dad again, and now…it's just unbelievable."
"Parenthood suits you man. You are beaming! You're gonna lose that badass image of yours if you aren't careful! Go see Bombshell. She's worried sick and the nurses haven't told her anything yet. I'll stay here as long as you need."
"Call Haywood and have a schedule drawn up for guys to cover the NICU in shifts. They tell me Steph can come back in a few hours to see him. We'll be back then. Oh, and thanks Bobby. For everything."
"Don't mention it Boss. Now go, before Bombshell sneaks out of her room and finds her way up here."
I left the NICU and made my way back down to Steph's room. She looked tired and pale. Tank was sitting in the chair beside the bed, rubbing her hand. When I entered, her head turned towards me and in her eyes I could see the depths of fear she was experiencing.
"Carlos, how is he? Did you see him? What's going on?"
I made my way over to the bed and sat beside her, taking her into my arms. "Ssssh Babe. It's ok. He's doing okay. The doctors and nurses said that he's holding his own. I got to see him and touch him. He held my finger for a minute. He's tiny but he's beautiful. He's just beautiful. He is the perfect mixture of both of us. His skin is a little lighter than mine, but I didn't get to see his eyes. They were closed. His hair is dark, but looks like it's going to be wavy or curly. I guess it's too early to tell right now. He's on a machine that is helping him to breathe but they said he is breathing on his own some. Bobby is with him now."
She held on to me tightly while tears of relief flowed from her eyes. I gently stroked her hair as she sniffled. "I was so worried. I'm so scared that something is going to happen to him. When can I see him?"
"Right now you need to rest Babe. But I already asked and they said they will take you up to see him in a few hours. But the doctor did say that you being on bed rest and being able to hold off labor for the past two weeks gave him a better chance. I'm proud of you, Babe."
Stephanie looked up at me and I could see relief in her eyes. Her features softened a little, and I bent down to kiss her. "I have a surprise for you Babe."
I unclipped my cell phone from my belt and opened the pictures I had taken of our son. "I took these for you to look at until they let you go see him. Isn't he adorable?"
Her eyes were affixed to the small screen of my phone and she simply nodded in agreement. "Our son. He's…beautiful. Perfect."
I kissed her again and held her tightly. "Babe, have you thought about a name yet?"
"Well, aren't you named after your father? I thought you might want to carry on the name with our son. Ricardo Carlos Manoso III. We could call him Trey. "
"Babe. You don't have to do that. I love it, but if you have your heart set on something else, my family will understand."
"No, I want to. I think it will be perfect. And it's a strong name. He needs a strong name. He needs something to live up to and a name that will remind him of all the strong men that are in his family."
"In our family Babe. Thank you. For giving me a child. For our son."
"Carlos, did you call our family? To tell them about Trey?"
"No Babe. Not yet. I'll have Tank call them."
I stepped out into the hall and asked Tank to make the necessary phone calls. As we were talking, a nurse stepped into Stephanie's room to take her vital signs and check on her. She was finishing up as I entered the room.
"Ms. Plum, your blood pressure is still a little high, but it is coming down. We'll continue to give you meds over the next few days. We also have to draw some blood to check and see if your counts are still low. We may need to transfuse an additional pint or two. I'll call your doctor to see once we get the lab report back. Are you having any pain right now?"
Stephanie shook her head. "Not really. Just soreness and cramping."
"That's completely normal. Someone will be in shortly to draw some blood and we'll let you know the results shortly. Try to rest some. In a few hours you'll be able to go see your son unless we have to give you blood."
Stephanie nodded again, and after the nurse left, I sat back on the bed with her. "How are you really feeling Babe? Are you hurting? I know you won't ask for pain medicine, but if you're hurting you need to tell them."
"Carlos, really, I'm not hurting too bad. I'm really really sore. How much did Trey weigh?"
"He weighed 1 pound 14 ounces and was thirteen and a half inches long. He's so tiny Babe. He's hardly longer than my hand!"
"Can you believe it? I gave birth to him? I was so scared! I can't believe I was pregnant and never knew!"
"I know Babe. It's a miracle. I know it's going to take some time to adjust to. But you're happy, right? I mean, with us? With the baby?"
Stephanie looked up at me and the answer I was looking for was in her eyes. "Yes Carlos. I love you. I love our son. And I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life! I never thought that this was something that I wanted. But I think the reason I didn't want it was because I always imagined it with the wrong person. Somehow, this…our son…our relationship. It all feels right because it's with you. "
I placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled her close. "I love you Babe. More than you'll ever know. I love you so much it scares me. And now I love our son. I still can't believe we have a son!
"You need to call Julie also. Do you think she'll be excited?"
"Of course she will Babe. I've talked to her several times over the past couple of weeks. I told her we were having a baby, and she made me promise to call her once we found out what it was. I guess I just didn't expect to be calling her and telling her we found out when you gave birth!"
Just then, a nurse came in to draw the needed blood for the lab work that the doctor had ordered. "Mr. Plum, will you be staying with your wife?"
Stephanie quickly spoke. "Actually, he's my fiancé. His name is Carlos Manoso. "
I smiled at the nurse. "And yes, I will be staying with my fiancée and I'd appreciate a blanket and pillow. Thank you."
The nurse exited the room, and Stephanie seemed deep in thought. "Something wrong Babe?"
"Hmmm?"
"What's got your wheels turning in that brain of yours? Are you ok?"
"Yes. I was just thinking. Will you do something for me?"
"Name it Babe. Anything."
"I want to get married."
"Babe, I thought we already agreed on that. We are getting married. I asked, and you said yes. Remember, you wanted to wait until the baby was born."
"I know. And he's born. I want to get married now. I don't want to wait. I want our son to have a mom and dad that are together. Physically and legally. I don't need the big burg wedding. And I don't need a ton of people here to witness it. I only need you. I know it's not very traditional. And I know that it's totally not what is expected of us. But we love each other and we've been together for several months now. And I've loved you for years. I guess I always knew that I loved you. Can you make it happen? Can you call someone? Do you think we could just get married here? Today or tomorrow even?"
I looked into her eyes as I held her. "Are you sure Babe? You don't want a real wedding with flowers and cake and the whole thing?"
"I'm sure Carlos. Is that what you want? Do you want a big wedding?"
"Babe, I wanted to marry you two weeks ago when I asked you. As long as you are happy I am happy. I just don't want you to have any regrets. What about your family?"
"What about them? I've lived my life for my mom and the burg too long. We'll tell them when they get here. And we'll tell your family too. Let's do this. Ok?"
"You got it Babe! Let me make a few phone calls."
I kissed her and stood up. As I started dialing, Stephanie's parents and grandma entered the room. I stepped out into the hall to finish my calls.
After four hours, numerous phone calls, and a several favors being called in, Stephanie's hospital room had been transformed into something slightly more adequate for our nuptials. Tank got on the phone and quickly invited Lula, Connie, and Mary Lou. Although Stephanie said she didn't need a lot of people, I knew it was important to her for our closest friends to be here for this day. Her parents and my parents were in attendance, as well as Grandma Mazur and my abuela. Ella stopped by the jeweler on the way in and picked up our wedding bands that we had ordered on the day I proposed, and she arrived with a cake from the Tasty Pastry as well. Lester, Bobby and Tank surrounded one side of Stephanie's hospital bed, while Lula, Connie, and Mary Lou stood around the other side. A justice of the peace stood at the foot of the bed, and the rest of the family surrounded us. I sat on the bed with my Babe, since she was still weak from the blood loss and had just given birth a few hours earlier. I'm sure the nurses in the hospital had never seen anything quite like it, but they all gathered outside the door to our room as we said our vows. When the justice of the peace finally said I could now kiss my bride, tears were readily flowing from not only mine and Stephanie's eyes, but also most of the people in attendance. I guess our love was obvious to everyone else for so long, it came as a relief to everyone to finally see us admitting our love for each other and becoming one.
After we were married, I thanked everyone for coming on such short notice, and appeased both mothers by promising that we would have a more formal reception later after Trey was released from the hospital. Since he was in the NICU, everyone couldn't see him, but I passed my phone around for everyone to get a glimpse of our son. I was finally able to usher everyone from the room when the nurse on duty checked Stephanie's blood pressure again and found it to still be slightly higher than desired.
"Babe, how are you feeling?"
"I'm tired, but good Mr. Manoso. How are you?"
"Mrs. Manoso, I'm wonderful. I have a beautiful new son. And a beautiful new wife. What more could I ask for?"
"I'm sure you didn't expect to spend our honeymoon in a labor and delivery suite when you asked me to marry you."
"Babe, I don't care about any of that. As long as I have you and Trey, and Julie, and as long as we are all happy and healthy."
"Carlos, what if something happens to Trey. I know the doctors said he's doing good. But…I'm scared."
"Babe, whatever happens, we'll be in it together. For better or worse, in sickness and health, we have each other. We'll make it through this. And Trey will too. There's too much of me and you in him for him not to be a survivor."
Later that evening, Stephanie was allowed to go and visit Trey in the NICU. A nurse helped us get settled into a wheelchair, and I pushed Stephanie down the corridor to our son's corner of the ward. I helped her stand at the handwash station, and Brittany was still on duty when we arrived.
"Brittany this is my wife Stephanie. Stephanie this is Brittany, Trey's nurse for this shift."
Brittany looked slightly confused. "Nice to meet you Stephanie. I thought you were his fiancé? He said earlier…"
We both laughed and grinned at each other. I was the first to speak. "A lot can change in four hours. "
Stephanie finished up at the wash station and sat back down in the wheelchair. Brittany and I assisted her over to the isolette where our son was sleeping and she reached in to lightly touch his hand.
"Oh Carlos! He's beautiful! He's so tiny! He looks so much like you!"
Tears of love, joy, and happiness were readily falling down Stephanie's face. I bent down to her side and wiped the tears from her face. "Babe, he is the perfect mixture of both of us. Look, he has your nose. And he has my lips."
As we sat there gazing at our newborn son, I couldn't help but realize that this was what I had been missing all my life. This was what I tried so hard to distance myself from, and in reality, it was what I needed all along. I felt complete. I felt whole. And for once in my life, everything in the world was right.
(More to come!)
