Live your life
Come rise up come give love
What you waiting for
It's a brand new day
All along here and now
What you waiting for
It's a brand new day
It was like breathing for the first time. It was like waking up from a very bad dream. It was wonderful. I felt wonderful. It had been a week since I had last seen Jacob. It had been a week since I'd slept with Jasper and it had been a week since Edward had kissed me.
It all felt like a dream. A bad one. A nightmare.
And now, it ended.
Jasper and I had talked things through. We had both been high and drunk. It had been nothing. It had meant nothing. How could it have? I'd still been hung up on Jake that night. Only now, on a wonderfully sunny morning like this, I felt like finally letting go and getting over him.
I opened my window and breathed in the fresh air, deciding that I wouldn't drive my car this morning. I would walk. With a big smile on my face, I walked out of my house, throwing my leather jacket over my hand. It was late September, but the sun was so temptingly warm that I decided to not put it on.
I hadn't been walking for too long when suddenly, I heard the tires of a car shrieking next to me, making me jump a little. My hand flew to my heart and I turned to see who has scared me like this.
"Good morning." Edward's voice was chipper and he was wearing a shit-eating grin on his face.
"You scared me to death." I said a bit harshly but he simply chuckled in response.
"Come in, I'll drive you to school. Did your car break down or something?"
"No. And no thanks." I rejected his offer and began to walk again. I heard the car following me.
"Why? Are you mad at me or something?"
"No. I just want to walk."
"Why?"
"Because it's a nice morning."
"Bella, just get into a car." He said in an annoyed voice, still trailing behind me in his car.
"No. I said I want to walk and that's what I'm doing."
"Bella, seriously. It's a long walk. Just come sit in a car and I will take you to school."
I knew that the kiss between Edward and me didn't meant anything, but whenever I looked at him, it felt like it did. I didn't know why - maybe because of the electrical feeling or because of that heart burning fire which ran through me when his lips moved against mine - but there definitely was something I couldn't figure out or shake off for that matter.
"Okay." I said giving up. No matter how much I wanted to fight this feeling, I was still curious about it. It wasn't like I was falling for him; I wasn't ready for that yet. I shouldn't have been ready for that.
"Great." He smiled and leaned over to open the passenger seat door for me. I thanked him and got in.
"So how did you sleep?" His question made me chuckle but I still responded.
"I slept well. Thank you for asking. How about you?"
"I…I couldn't sleep."
"Why?"
"I don't know, just one of those nights, I guess."
"Oh. Okay. Oh I love this song." I said turning the volume up.
Thesound of Fashionably late by Falling in Reverse filled the car.
"You do?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.
"Yes. I'm not one of those girls…" I said with a small eye roll at him. He probably thought that I was just a little Justin Bieber fan like every other girl. Or even worse – a One Direction fan.
"Believe me. I know you are definitely not one of those girls."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I just know." He simply answered. I decided not to bug him about it and turned my head to watch the road.
Once we pulled up in parking lot, I unbuckled my seat belt and was about to get out when Edward pulled on my hand. "Bella?" I turned my head to look at him. "Will you need a ride home?"
"Sure."
"And one more thing. There is this party down at the beach; you should guys come." I nodded and got out.
Rosalie was already leaning against her car with her eyebrows risen, watching my every step. I still hadn't told Rose that I'd slept with her brother, but I knew I had to. The lies always caught up with me and I didn't wanted to her find out in some other way.
"Hey." I said in a small voice.
"Hey. So…Edward Cullen takes you to school now?" I couldn't help but bite my lip in the way keeping myself from laughing. I hadn't figured Rose to act this way. Jealous. That was what she was right now. Emmett still hadn't asked her out again and she's going out of her mind.
"Yeah. I was walking and he just drove past and offered me a ride." I defended myself.
"Did your car break? You could've just called me and asked me to take you."
"No. I wanted to walk but he won't let me."
"Okay." I was glad that she stopped bugging me. Then I remembered about Edwards offer and asked Rose already knowing the answer.
"Edward asked if we want to hang out with them tonight at the beach."
"Probably. I have nothing better to do."
"That's what I thought."
The day went on like a blur. Suddenly the only two things in my head were Edwards's sweet lips and Jasper. Yes. I know. I must be crazy thinking about Jasper, but I couldn't forget the fact that I had slept with him and whenever I saw him, I got this tingly feeling in my stomach.
I knew that had been a dumb thing to do. To have slept with him and I knew that it had meant nothing and we'd both been drunk. At least that was what Jasper had said – that we had done stupid things because I'd been too high and he had been too drunk. But then again – what about the next morning? As I recall, he had kissed me the second I had opened my eyes. So what had that been all about?
I knew I was just working myself up, but I got curious. What if it had meant something more to him?
Later that day, Edward drove me home and we spent the whole time talking and laughing. I had fun with him. And I was surprised. I really couldn't recall the last time I had so much fun with a boy.
"I'll pick you up at eight." He called after me when I walked to my front door. "Don't tell Rose, but Emmett is picking her up." He said with a sheepish smile. I nodded and waved him goodbye.
So Emmett was interested in Rosalie after all. The thought of Rose being happy really made me smile. I was hoping she would finally find herself a great guy. Not like Royce. Royce was just wrong on so many levels that I really didn't want to think about.
It was already eight o'clock and Edward was pulling into my driveway. I was glad that my dad was away so I didn't have to introduce them. My dad was a business man and he had to travel a lot because of the meetings he had.
My grandpa died few years ago and left his firm to my father so we have it pretty good now. Before that, my dad hadn't been really interested in those kind of things so he became a police officer, but when grandpa died he left it all to my father who had wanted it to stay in the family.
My dad hadn't been happy about it because he knew how this job could tear you away from the family, but my mom talked him into it pointing out the fact that they had a daughter to rise and the money would be useful.
Of course after a year my mother divorced my father taking almost the half he have and left us. Needless to say that my dad was destroyed, but he still managed to stay solid. He didn't give up; he went back out there and worked even harder to give me whatever I need.
I don't know where my mom was now. Last time I had heard, she met some baseball player and married him. It had been two years ago.
"Hey." Edward greeted me, stepping out of his car. He looked breathtaking and suddenly a rush of confusion shot through me. Why all of a sudden did this boy make my breath catch in my throat?
"Hey." I gave him half hug wrapping one arm around his shoulders and holding my purse with my other hand.
I felt his hand sneaking around my waist pulling me closer and I remembered the feeling from the night he had kissed me. I felt addicted to it. I wanted to feel that way again and again. But I shouldn't be. It would be wrong and I wasn't ready for that. Hell, he probably didn't even want me that way. Why would he? He probably had plenty of girls pining after him.
"Here you go." He said opening the car doors for me. I got in the car and put on my seat belt. The car smelled much like him. Or he smelled a lot like his car. Like a peppermint and honey.
"Are you sure Emmett is picking up Rosalie?" I made sure, wanting to confirm that he hadn't been lying before.
"Yes. He's already on his way. Don't worry.'' His assurance made me feel calm and I relaxed in the car seat.
"So where are we going again?"
"Down at the beach; this guy from the football team owns a house there. His parents had spoiled him and they let him do pretty much anything he wants so he throws parties many times."
He was right. The house surely told that his parents probably had spoiled him. They were fucking rich. I was rich, but I think they were much richer, or they just really did love to threw their money around not like my dad.
We lived in a two-story home. It wasn't a small home, but it wasn't a mansion either. Why would we need a mansion if it was only the two of us?
Once Edward parked his car, I could see Rosalie standing right next to Emmett with his hand wrapped around her waist. She was laughing probably at something that he had said and I couldn't help but smile.
"So you didn't lie after all." I told Edward pointing at where Rose was.
"You thought I was lying?" He fake-gasped.
"No…I just wasn't sure."
"I would never lie to you." Somehow his words really got me. They were hanging in the air and I let them in my heart. He would never lie to me. When he said it, he made pretty sure that I understood every word of his sentence.
He got out of car and opened my door for me. "You should really leave that in the car." He said pointing on my purse. I nodded and threw it in the glove compartment.
"Thank you." I thanked him for holding car doors open for me.
"You are very welcome." The playful smile was dancing on his lips, making me smile. I chuckled as he put his hand out for me to hold and I gladly accepted it.
When we got closer Edward called out for Emmet and he spun around causing Rose to copy his moves. Her eyes instantly fell on our intertwined hands and I started to feel nervous. I didn't know why, but a lot of times I felt like she was my mother. Always watching me with those judging eyes of hers. I knew she didn't mean to, she was just looking out for me.
We were family. Rose and I. Since hers was always away and mine wasn't much of a family either, we were each other's family. So it was just normal that she was looking out for me making sure that I won't get hurt again.
"Hey, you." She said in that parental voice. "Accompany me to lady's room?" She watched our hands and then looked at Edward raising her eyebrow making him understand to let go of my hand.
"Sure." I agreed when Edward let go of my hand and the cold air washed away his warmth.
Once we had pushed our way through the people and were finally in bathroom, Rosalie locked the doors and leaned against the wall crossing her arms and looking at me. I was about to explain that there is nothing between Edward and me, but then her face stretched out in a big grin.
"He likes me. He told me he likes me." She squealed and I let out the breath I didn't knew I was holding.
"That's great."
"I know. I was so afraid that I let my hopes up and he just wasn't interested."
"He was. Now you see."
"Yeah…So what's up with you and Ed? Since when are you two holding hands?"
"Nothing. He just offered me his hand and I took it. He was just polite since I don't know anyone here he just wanted to make me feel safe. I think."
"Okay. Just don't fall for him. You know how he is."
"How he is?"
"Loves them and leaves them. You just got your heart broken. You don't want it to happen again."
"He won't. We are not dating and I'm not sleeping with him."
"But he kissed you. He must want you."
"No. He kissed me just because Jake was kissing someone else. He saw how upset I was and just helped me out to get back at Jake."
"If you say so."
Once we got back Emmett and Edward weren't alone anymore. Jasper, James and two more girls were there. The red head were standing beside James, she looked just amazing with her red, long, curly hair and killer body, and she was pretty too.
The other girl looked much like pixie, she was probably 4'5 or something about it, and she was definitely short with pixie like hair and petite body. She was laughing and touching Jasper and my heart jumped when he wrapped his hand around her shoulders pulling her to his side.
That wasn't jealousy, but it was something. And I really didn't like this feeling. Here I was obsessing over the fact that it maybe meant something to him because he had kissed while he was sober, but actually he already had a girl by his side.
"Hi." Rose said once we approached them. She took her spot right next to Emmett.
"Hey guys." I said looking only at James. He smiled back at me. I turned my head to see Jasper not even looking in my direction.
"Come 'ere." I cocked my head and saw Edward leaning against his car holding his hand open and mentioning for me to him. I obeyed and walked over to him. He put his hands on my hips and pulled my body at his, so now my back was pressed against his chest.
"We are thinking to spend sometime here and then go back to Hales. What do you think?" Edwards asked only loud enough for me to hear.
"Sure. Whatever you guys want." I spoke still looking at pixie wrapping herself around Jasper. I felt upset and he must have sensed it because he slowly spun me around and placed his hands back on my hips holding me close to him.
"What's wrong?" His voice was curious and the frown on his face made me understand that he was upset because I was upset. I immediately felt bad.
"Nothing. Just I remembered the last time that I was at the party." I half lied. He must've thought that I was talking about Jake and that fight, but I was upset over the fact that I had slept with Jasper and now he was here with other girl. But I had no right to be upset with him because I was here with Edward.
"Yeah. I'm sorry. But he's gone and you don't have to feel upset anymore. I'm here to make you happy." He added a small laugh to his sentence making me confused. Then he took something out of his pocket and wiggled the blunt in front of me.
"You think that will make you happy?"
"For a while." Last time I checked it made me even more fucked up and confused.
"For a while isn't enough."
"It isn't." His eyes dropped on my lips and lingered there making me feel nervous. "When you do that, you have no idea how turned on I get." He whispered lowering his head so his lips were right next to my ear sending chills down my spine. I hadn't even noticed that I was biting my lip when his hand reached up and freed it from my teeth.
"You do?" I said teasingly and let my hand travel up his body over his chest and around his neck. I didn't know how I got so bold but I did and I kind of liked it.
"Do you even know how tempting you are?" His voice was low and velvety and my body was on fire again. But not from his kiss, because he didn't kiss me. But from his eyes. The fire were playing in them as he study every part of me. Then someone cleared they throat.
"So guys, this is Victoria." James introduced us with the redhead standing next to him. She smiled shyly and gave us a small wave. "And this is Alice." James continued. "They are sisters?" He questioned his sentence.
"Cousins." Alice rolled her eyes and leaned into Jasper again. "It's lovely to meet you." I started to wonder if Rose know about this Alice before. If she did, why she didn't tell me? But then again, why should she?
"I'm Rosalie and this is my best friend Bella." Rosalie introduced me. "I'm Jasper's sister."
"Hi." She said suddenly blushing.
"So let's party or what?" Rose now was by my side pulling on my hand. "Let go of her." She demanded and Edward let go of me holding his hands up in the air in surrender. "I will give her back to you later." She promised, rolling her eyes and pulled me away. On our way I could feel someone's eyes on my, when I turned I saw Jasper looking at me the way I had never seen him looking.
Lust and anger. That was what his eyes were holding so strongly in themselves.
"So did you know that your brother was dating someone?" I asked trying not to sound so interested in Jasper's love life.
"Yeah. They have been going out for weeks, I guess." I felt my mouth dropping and my heart race to speed up. Jasper had cheated on his girlfriend with me? I was the one person I hated the most. The other woman. I was my own personal Leah – relationship wrecker? No…He couldn't have done that. Jasper won't ever do that.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, he mentioned her few times. "
"Oh…" I grabbed the nearest bottle and poured myself a drink.
"We are leaving guys." Emmett informed us and pulled Rosalie to his side. We both took one last shot of whiskey and followed Emmett out of the house. The air was much colder than earlier and I felt goose bumps on my hands.
"Here you go." Edward put his leather jacket around my shoulders once I walked out of the house.
"Thanks." I gave him a smile and he pulled me close to him.
I didn't know what it was, but there was something going on. James looked at Edward with the same judgy eyes like Rosalie did with me and shook his head.
"What is that all about?" I took myself by surprise when that question escaped my lips.
"What?" James asked.
"That. You two. You always share this look and then there is this tense moments between you two. Why?"
"I don't know what you are talking about." Edward simply said and led me away from James to his car. I knew something was going on, but I didn't know what and I promised myself that I would find out. If not today, then someday I will.
Less than half an hour later we were all at Hales. By all I meant even those two girls.
Alice was still attaching herself to Jasper and I couldn't look away if I wanted to. I wanted to slap myself across the face for even feeling the way I felt.
"You alright?" Edwards's voice pulled me out of my absurd thinking.
"Yeah. I'm good." He put his hand around me shoulders once again and I couldn't quite figure out what it all was about? Was he really interested in me that way or was he just being friendly?
"Did I tell you how good you look tonight?" His statement made me blush and duck my head down. He just chuckled, ruffled my hair and squeezed my shoulders. Yep. Definitely friendly.
After a while, we were all sitting in a circle on family rooms floor smoking weed and drinking.
"So the next thing I know he's naked and running around the house yelling." James shared the story about how Emmett set himself on fire. I never laughed so hard in my life. "He was grounded about for a month." James added.
"Well, at least I didn't dragged my girlfriend into my parent's bed." Emmett mocked him.
"What?"
"There was this one time when he got really high and took a girl home. He was so stoned that he got into a wrong room and pushed himself and his girl between his parents."
"Oh my god." I said between laughter. James just rolled his eyes.
"Okay, that's enough with the embarrassing stories."
"What should we do?" Rose asked.
"I want to eat. " I said standing up.
"Oh, me, too." Jasper raised his hand standing up too.
"Great, you guys go and fix something." Thank you very fucking much Rosalie. I walked to kitchen with Jasper following me. I probably did a shitty job hiding how awkward and weird I felt because he spoke up.
"You don't have to feel that way around me."
I walked in to kitchen and Jasper closed the doors behind me. "Its not like something is changed. We already talked this through and besides looks like you have something with Edward?" His tone was judgmental.
"No. I don't have. But you on the other hand had a girlfriend when you slept with me." I whisper yelled at him.
"Touché."
"Let's just forget about it." I said and turned my back to him, looking for something to eat.
"I can't."
I felt my heart stopping.
Big thanks to my wonderful beta :) iamsupergirl2
