Still going. Is anyone else surprised?
Enjoy, dearies.
Lara's P.O.V
Even after the fun with Jacob, and an uneventful evening that spanned into an uneventful morning, my mood was low the next day. I couldn't be bothered talking to people in class. I couldn't find it in myself to check my phone for messages or emails. I knew there wouldn't be a notification that I wanted there. There wouldn't be harassment from Leia, my closest friend. There wouldn't be her boyfriend, Eli, asking me for advice or sending me a new song he thought I'd like. There wouldn't be anything from my dad, asking how school was, or if my mother had bothered to come home much this week. There wouldn't be any of that, so I didn't care.
The thing is, it'd really sunk in. I wasn't home. It was funny here, no doubt. I knew what was going to happen and I had some kind of control. I didn't have that at home. I just lived at home, I got drunk and did drugs and failed classes and made a terrible name for myself. I wasn't happy at home, but I wasn't happy here either; I just wasn't happy. I hated being a sob story but sometimes people are, sometimes you do get punk kids with parental issues that get drunk because it makes them feel better; not everything that you get in books is a non-existing stereotype or-
Fuck, I'm even boring myself. Point was, I was over this shit. Ready to blow this town and get right back to Leia's couch where I could mooch off her rich kid lifestyle.
So I had music on, because it made me feel better, every moment of the day. Even as I walked to the canteen to get food I didn't think I could manage, I had some song from my "Sad Songs for Happy Times" playlist blaring through headphones. I was itching for a cigarette, too. Real bad. Just shows its all in your head, because this body has never so much as held one of the little bastards let alone smoked one. Someone had to have one.
Whilst I was in line for food, there was a kid I didn't know behind me, so I asked him. He shrugged and gave me one, with a brief congratulations about hitting Jessica. I allowed him a grin and a thank you before slipping the cigarette behind my ear and continuing on.
I finished, turned and almost crashed into Edward. "What the fuck are you doing?" I snapped, not in the mood. I pulled my earphones out by the wire and let them drop, because I had them wound around my neck so they wouldn't totally fall off me.
His eyes had a playfulness to them but it dropped quickly at my tone. "Are you alright?"
"Peachy." I nodded, moving past him. He reached out to touch me and I moved to avoid it, my eyes flashing. "No." I warned. He put his hands up in surrender, so I rolled my eyes and moved on. I sat down, dropping the tray with a clatter. He followed me, like I knew he would, and sat opposite. He had an apple in his hand, which he then settled on the table. I sighed and placed my phone on the table too, pausing the music it was playing seeing as he was going to stay.
"You sure?"
"Oh I am certain." I gave him wide smile that didn't show teeth and picked at my food. He frowned and reached out, and I watched him with a glare as he pulled the cigarette from my ear.
"These things kill you."
"Well, I mean, so do skidding vans in the snow but I've been doing alright so far." I reached out to snatch it back but he pulled it out of arms reach. I laughed bitterly and shook my head. "Come on, man. I bummed that off some kid. He probably worked all week for the packet that came from." I tried the joke but it didn't work. He just watched me intently. I sat back in my seat, slouching.
"Whats up, Bella?"
"The sky. Although that is also down if you consider the other side of the world." I quipped. He remained unimpressed. "Tough crowd."
"Seriously, whats wrong?" I groaned loudly and dropped my head back to look at the ceiling. "I'll give you this back if you tell me."
I sprung back up and nodded. "Seriously?"
"Mhm."
"I'm homesick." I said smoothly. Didn't even have to tell him a lie.
His shoulders slumped. "That's it?"
"What, you wanted me to be suicidal so you could play hero?" I snapped, sitting back again and tilting my head to look at him.
"No, just.." He sighed and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "Tell me what you're missing, specifically."
I shifted a little. "Friends, mostly. I had some good ones. Some of them even sold drugs. They were the keepers." I joked, but he saw the truth in the beginning of my sentence and nodded.
"You could always make friends here?" He offered, as if I was asking him for advice.
I laughed and shook my head. "Nah man. No other Leia's in the world. She is one nasty piece of work and by god do I love her."
"Phone calls not enough, then?" He was clearly assuming that we stayed in contact. That we could stay in contact.
"It's not the same. She's this rich kid, right. But she's all punk and shit to get back at her parents. It'll never work, they'd support her if she fucking killed someone, you know? But it makes her feel better. We throw parties at her place all the time." I paused, and looked down. "Sorry. Threw parties." The past tense really stung.
"I didn't take you for a party girl." His eyes became playful again, and as I often did, I fed off that energy.
"Oh I'm a real wild card. I could drink a sailor under the table, me. Maybe I should drink those chemicals that are always left on the side in biology later to prove my iron liver." He grinned a little.
"Do it next time. I'm not gonna be in this class."
My eyebrows shot up in surprise and then it dawned on me. I laughed. "Ah, blood typing. It always weeds out the weak." I teased.
"I'm allowed to be uncomfortable around blood! That stuffs supposed to stay in you." He justified. I scoffed at his excuses.
"I've been around my share it."
He looked concerned, and intrigued, very suddenly. "What do you mean?"
I grinned wildly at him. "I'm a woman, Cullen." He blinked, stared at me, and then made a loud noise of disgust and slumped back in his chair.
"You're a class act, you are." He said sarcastically, shaking his head. I smiled at him, and then extended my hand.
"If you're disappearing I want my cigarette back." He gave it to me, but there was a reluctance there. "I can't get addicted to them again, I ain't got the money, so don't sweat it." I stuck my tongue out at him and stood up. The bell went the second my back was straight. I put my phone in my pocket after pressing play on the music and didn't say goodbye as I put my earphones back in. I was in a lighter mood for Biology, but still far too aware of what I was missing back home.
How do you guys feel about this stuff? I know it's a bit of faff. Nothing really worthwhile happened so tell me if you want more or less of this.
Review to keep me from eating cats alive.
~I.F~
