A/N: As always, a big thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. You guys are more awesome than the New Moon trailer. Thank you!

Oh guess what... Stephanie Meyer STILL owns all things Twilight.

Chapter 11

Shopping Trips and Cheerios

I woke up to the horrendous beeping of my alarm clock. The ringing was entirely unwanted. I couldn't find it in myself to make my feet hit the floor.

That is until I smelt the all too familiar scent of coffee brewing. It is amazing how a smell can draw you out of a king sized pillow top mattress. Only coffee and bacon had that power over me.

I drug myself out of bed to face the day. Memories of last night flooded my mind. I wasn't sure how I felt about it all. On one hand I felt somewhat renewed. It was almost freeing to have finally broken down about the loss of Hannah. I felt like I had been carrying around a huge lie and I had finally let the truth come out. It was an ugly truth, but it was now out.

I realize now that Rosalie had been right, I hadn't dealt with losing my daughter properly, if at all. I now felt like I had been doing my daughter a disservice by blocking her memory out.

On the other hand, I so much pain that it was difficult to breathe. I missed her more than I had the past twelve months. It seems odd to miss someone that you had never got the chance to know, but I did. The ache resounded deep within me and I wasn't sure how to deal with it. I made myself get up because I refused to deal with this by blocking out the world. I had done that once before, that's why I'm here now. I knew that I still needed to work on things, I was far from healed. The ache in my heart reminded me of that.

I longed to see my husband and talk to him. I missed him also. My thoughts drifted to him, and all I could focus on was how I wanted to open myself up to him.

It took so much restraint to not pick up my phone and call him. I knew he was at work and I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone. He would take the call and make time for me, I was sure of that, but he deserved more than a phone call.

I knew he couldn't make this all better, like he used to do with my problems, but we had lost so much time and I had a lot of explaining to do. I wanted to tell him about last night. I wasn't sure he'd understand it, but knowing him he would. Even if he didn't understand, he always tried.

He has barely been gone a day and I needed him. Everything felt off without him here. Even if our relationship had faltered over the past year my need to have him close had not. I had barely been away from him at all and yet I felt like he had been gone for so long. I wondered to myself if it was pathetic or if it was how love was supposed to be. Maybe it was a little of both.

I made my way to the kitchen and heard the sweet sound of Ayden's laughter. The smile that came across my face made me sigh. He was so much like his father. In the past Edward's laughter or crooked grin could always make me smile no matter the situation.

I could hear Rose giggling without restraint and I wondered what those two were up too.

I knew Rosalie was still here. She had stayed with me all night. She truly was great when she wanted to be. I felt seriously guilty for keeping her from her own bed last night, but she had refused to leave me alone.

I walked into the dining room and saw Rosalie and Ayden tossing cheerios at one another. Rosalie had a huge smile on her face and Ayden was giggling hysterically.

"What on earth have you two done to my dining room?" I asked in mock anger.

Rosalie looked at me and winked at Ayden before nailing me in between the eyes with a Cheerio. She gave me a sheepish grin and looked to my son who was now laughing even harder.

"Traitors" I mumbled and rolled my eyes walking toward the table. A hot cup of black coffee was sitting there waiting for me. I picked it up and walked into my kitchen to fix it accordingly.

"I'm not Edward. You're going to have to ruin it all by yourself." She said not breaking her interaction with Ayden.

It was typical Rosalie to drink her coffee like a man. It was nice to see how she didn't tip toe around me. Last night she had been so sweet, and comforting, but Rosalie knew today I wouldn't want to be coddled. I assume it was because she is the same way.

She refuses to be treated like she's weak or about to break, no matter the circumstances.

Rosalie had been through her own troubles with a guy back in college. He decided against her will to take things to 'the next level.' She pressed charges and refused to discuss it further.

For two weeks she walked around like nothing had happened. She would get angry whenever anyone tried to see if she was doing all right. Then finally one night she broke down when a random guy looked at her wrong. She cried with me and Alice the entire night. The next morning she went and joined a kick boxing class and never spoke of it again. It might not be healthy but it was Rosalie.

I was so grateful that she would act as though last night didn't happen. She wouldn't push the subject or force me to go into all of the details of my meltdown. She had been there for me when I needed her, even after our minor altercation she came over as soon as I called her.

Rosalie had sat with me on the floor to Hannah's room for hours simply holding me and crying with me. I have no clue what time it was when I made it to bed but judging by the exhaustion that consumed my entire body it must have been well into the morning.

I was extremely blessed when it came to friends. Despite whatever was going on I knew my friends would be there for both Edward and myself. They were amazing that way.

"Go, get dressed Ayden, we have to make it to my place to see Rosalyn." Rosalie said in a sweet voice that was strictly reserved for children.

Ayden jumped down from his chair and headed toward his room. I knew that I would have to go help him get dressed in a second but I figured Rosalie had something she wanted to say.

"Rose, I just wanted to thank you for-"

"Don't Bella." She cut me off. "It's what friends do. Forget about it." Rose said like nothing had happened.

"Just the same, thank you." I said simply.

"Whatever, it's no big deal. So I called Angela and she's going to keep Ayden and Rosalyn for the afternoon. Me, you, and Alice are going out today."

I should have known there was something up, why else would she be taking Ayden on a Saturday. It felt wrong to leave Ayden with someone else when his dad wasn't getting to see him, but I'm sure Edward was working and Angela has been begging me to let her keep him again.

Angela was our school secretary and made the place function. I knew she would take care of him. I wasn't the least bit surprised that Rosalie would call her. The two had met at a party Edward and I had thrown and hit it off instantly.

I was slightly surprised by that considering they were polar opposites. Angela was sweet and docile. She was very lady like and extremely caring. Rosalie was well, Rosalie. Angela had hung out with all of us many times. Her and her fiancé Ben fit right in.

"I guess there isn't any point in my fighting you on this is there?"

Rose rolled her eyes and ignored me. She began picking up the countless cheerios that now littered every surface of my floor and table, as I made my way to get myself ready.

I took a quick shower and threw on an old rock tee and some jeans. I wasn't out to impress today. Alice would have a fit but I couldn't care less. After I got Ayden dressed we made our way to my now clean kitchen.

"Okay we have to go by my place to drop little man off and Alice is going to meet us there with Rosalyn."

"Fine, so what are we doing today?"

"Well, Alice is under the impression that you need some serious retail therapy, and who am I to challenge the little pixie."

I couldn't hold back the groan that escaped my lips. Why was I grateful for my friends again?

We arrived at Rosalie's quickly and I made my way to the couch immediately. I was going to get in as much sitting time as possible before this all day shop-a-thon.

Emmett came into the living room and plopped down beside me without an ounce of grace. He gave me a sad smile.

"How are you doing, Bells?" He questioned in a tone full of unwanted sympathy.

"I'm fine, Em so what are you doing today?" Wondering why his lazy butt couldn't babysit his niece and nephew for a few hours.

"Oh Jasper and I are going to head over to see E-…Ellen… Yeah, my friend Ellen, great guy."

I couldn't help but laugh at him, he never had been good at lying to me, but this was pathetic.

"It's okay if you go see Edward; he's your family too." I said hoping it came out as sincere as I meant for it to.

Emmett wrapped both his arms around me and I almost instantly felt better. He always had been a great brother.

"Alright well I better go" Emmett kissed me on the forehead before going to say his goodbyes to everyone else.

I liked that he was being overly nice but I was kind of hoping he would put me in a headlock and grind his knuckles against my scalp.

It wouldn't be pleasant and I'd probably knee him in the thigh like always but at least it would be normal. I was longing for something to seem normal again.

Alice showed up shortly after Emmett left and ran to me giving me the tightest hug she could manage.

"Big mouth" I mouthed to Rosalie over Alice's shoulder.

She simply shrugged her shoulders and walked off to get cleaned up.

My girls were great but neither could keep their mouth shut to save their lives. I'm sure she had to tell her something since we were all getting together today but I'd rather not deal with Alice's sympathetic glances.

"Are you alright?" she questioned with concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine, I just kind of had to deal with everything." I told her honestly.

"Well…I hate to sound like a broken record, but…are you going to see anybody about everything?" Alice questioned nervously.

I didn't know the answer to that. Was I going to? It was clear to me now that I had not dealt with Hannah's death the right way, but did I need therapy?

"I'm not sure Aly. I'm just going to try to take this day by day. I might possibly, but right now I'm just trying to figure out what I need. Does that make sense?

"Yep. So, are you ready to shop?" She said with too much enthusiasm for my liking.

An hour later we were at the mall making our way through racks of shoes. Rosalie had wanted to visit every shoe store possible. I'm pretty sure it was her way of having to avoid looking at clothes she couldn't wear anymore.

She hadn't taken too kindly to the idea of maternity clothes. It was really pretty ridiculous considering that she looked amazing in whatever she wore. She was still, however, very adamant about the lack of style offered to pregnant women.

She said every time she went into a maternity store she was bombarded with tops she swore Lucy Ricardo had worn while pregnant with little Ricky.

She was currently begging Alice to create a maternity line for the modern women.

As I listened to her complain about her pregnancy I wondered if I would ever experience that again. Did I even want to? I quickly pushed the thought from my head. It was a loaded question that had far too many variables.

"Ladies, I'm going to head to the bookstore, I'll give you a call in a few and meet up with you."

"Okay" They answered in unison not looking up from the pair of red stilettos they were gawking.

I headed to the book store and began sifting through the classics section. I was hoping something I hadn't read would jump out at me. I read through all the titles recounting the stories in my head. It always felt like visiting home again.

I saw the copy of "Of Mice and Men" I had read it many times but I found myself thinking of how relevant the quote on the inside was.

I was lost in my thoughts until I felt a warm hand cover my eyes.

I was just about to scream before I heard a deep, familiar voice in my ear.

"Guess who"

A/N: All right I can't wait to hear what you think. REVIEW!