A/N hey guys, i hope you enjoy this somewhat happy chapter before i break your hearts with my next one lol, my hearts already broken and i havent even written it yet. Anyway fav/follow/ review and all that good stuff! Ill see you guys next week and thank you so much to everyone whos commented, it really means a lot to me that people actually like my stories! later skaterz
Santana woke up with a pounding headache and some severe confusion. She woke facing what was certainly a body, and she prayed she didn't bring someone home in her state of drunkenness. Those concerns were wiped away as she realised the chest she was currently buried in was fully clothed. She moved her head slightly, in order to catch a glimpse of the person she was cuddled up with. Her heart soared when she saw her best friend sleeping peacefully, arms tightly wrapped around the brunette's waist. She's so beautiful, she thought dreamily. That thought brought a pang to her heart and she gave a bitter tight lipped smile toward herself. She slowly unwrapped herself from Brittany's grip and huffed out of the bed. Her head ache pounded and she wondered how much she had drank. She vaguely remembered herself singing, getting offered a job, and then drinking until she went into the emotional state. Oh my god the coaster, she groaned as she remembered the ten minutes she spent crying because the leprechaun was so cute. She pinched her eyes closed, not seeing the leather jacket from last night discarded right in front of her. Her foot caught it and her eyes widened as she took a plunge to the floor, landing with a loud bang.
"Mother fucking what the fuck," Santana hissed from the floor.
"Jesus San are you okay?" Santana jumped and turned her head towards the bed, where Brittany sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Santana's breath hitched. She surveyed the sight in front of her, Brittany's face and hair was illuminated by the sun streaming through her window. It made her face glow and her hair shine, she looked like an angel. Santana thought that in that moment, when the blonde was wearing one of Santana's baggy hoodies, rubbing sleep from her eyes as the blanket pooled around her waist, she looked more beautiful than ever.
"San? Are you okay? You've been staring at me really weirdly," Brittany mumbled sleepily. Santana smiled, forgetting her pain.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just fell." Brittany gave an airy laugh. "Good morning Britt Britt." The blonde smirked at her and raised an eye brow.
"Don't you mean 'Britty Boo'?" She teased. Santana looked at her with a confused expression before she remembered in her drunken haze; she had called her friend by that name. Santana groaned and dropped her head into her hands. She raised it when she heard the blonde chuckling. "Good morning to you too San," Brittany smiled sweetly.
Santana's heart melted and she smiled back goofily, suddenly she had an idea. "Hey do you want to do something today? We didn't get a chance to hang out yesterday 'cause… You know" she said sheepishly. Brittany smirked again.
"You mean because you were busy doing 'homework'" she said, using her fingers as quotation marks, "when you were really getting drunk at a bar?" Brittany cocked her head to the side challengingly. Santana nodded guiltily, shrugging her shoulders.
"Is that a yes?" Santana asked, hoping she didn't sound too desperate. Brittany nodded and Santana clapped happily.
"What are we doing?" The blonde asked as she pulled back the covers and got out of the bed, walking over to her friend who was still on the ground. She held out her hands and Santana grabbed it, using it to stand up. Brittany felt a jolt of something she couldn't quite place run through her, and just as quick as it arrived, it was gone when Santana dropped her hand. Santana ran her hands nervously through her hair and tried to play off the uncomfortable feeling that ran through her when she touched Brittany's hand.
"It's a surprise" she said mysteriously, trying to keep her smile at bay. Brittany pouted but accepted it. "You go get ready and I'll make some breakfast or something." The blonde nodded and got up, walking over to the bathroom while the brunette made box mix pancakes and played them off as her own.
"Please tell me where we are going," Brittany said, pouting when she didn't recognise where they were going. Santana pretended to consider the question, making the blonde's eyes shine with hope. She smirked and shook her head, and Brittany deflated.
"We've been driving for a pretty long time. If you're about to kill me you should know I have incredible reflexes and I could turn the tables on you" Brittany warned playfully. Santana laughed, and Brittany's heart pumped three times faster at the sight and sound of her happiness.
"First of all, where we're going is a little far because Lima is a shit town with barely anything fun to do. And I know you're incredibly strong, especially with those thighs, I mean you've used them to flip me and straddle me more times than I can count" Santana said causally. Now that Santana had 'convinced' the blonde that it wasn't cheating to sleep with her, she wanted Brittany now more than ever. Something about Brittany not being hers made Santana want to prove that she was hers, through scratches and hickies so dark Brittany would be layers of foundation to cover it up.
Brittany tightened her grip on the seatbelt and felt a wave of heat pass over her body. She cleared her throat awkwardly, and was about to reply when her eyes caught sight of a large building that seem to come out of nowhere. It was an aquarium.
"Holy San! You brought me to an aquarium?!" Brittany asked with glee. Santana nodded and captured this moment in her head, where Brittany was smiling so widely all because of her. She wished that look could've lasted forever, it was pure heaven. Santana's mouth twitched and her small smile dripped with love, her eyes more soft than ever. Brittany grinned and got out of the car, running over to Santana's side and opening the door for her, yanking her friend out and into a hug.
"Ooft" Santana winced as her friend crushed her in the hug, but she made no move to untangle herself. She smiled and hugged back. "We always go feed the ducks and I thought maybe it's time we go see other sea creatures." Brittany felt her heart explode and burst with love, she wondered if she would have felt this happy if Artie had brought her. Her smile faltered slightly at the thought of Artie, but then Santana pulled back and shot her a goofy looking grin and Brittany forget who Artie was entirely. She grabbed the brunettes hand and pulled them towards the entrance.
Brittany looked in awe at all the sharks that swam by her. Santana followed closely and stared at nothing but the blonde, she wanted to remember everything about this moment, it was picture perfect, and Brittany was picture perfect. The blonde looked back and saw her friend looking at her, she smiled at Santana, and when the brunette smiled back, Brittany's heart stopped. The blonde took out her phone and pulled Santana closer to her, and just as a shark swam by, she snapped the picture.
"Lets go see the stingrays San!" Brittany said enthusiastically. Santana smiled and made a bold choice, she reached out, and instead of tangling a pinkie together, she laced their hands together. Santana felt panic shoot through her at the gesture she just made, but that all faded when Brittany squeezed her hand and dragged her towards the stingray exhibit.
She's so perfect, Santana thought absentmindedly
The girls were at the aquariums gift shop, Santana had slipped away to find a present for the blonde, when an old woman tapped Brittany on the shoulder. She whirled around to face the woman with a confused face.
"I'm sorry to scare you dear, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to tell you how lucky you were to have someone like that in your life" The lady said, eyes twinkling. Brittany stared at her confused.
"Have who in my life?" She asked. The old woman only smiled at her sympathetically.
"That young brunette lady of course!" She said like it was the simplest thing in the world. Brittany's heart skipped a beat.
"Santana?" She asked hesitantly, looking around to see if she could see her friend. The old woman nodded and smiled.
"Yes yes that Santana. She looks at you like you're the most amazing thing in the entire world. Why, I haven't seen someone look that in love since my late husband was alive. She's a keeper, I'm telling you now." The woman said, reaching a hand out and tapping the blonde's cheek. "She looks like a tough cookie, but I can tell she has a special place in her heart, if not her whole heart, for you." Brittany didn't know what to say. How would this lady know anything about Santana and her feelings? Even Brittany, her best friend for years, couldn't always decipher how the brunette was feeling at all times. Could this lady be mistaken? Love? Santana and she were very close friends; maybe she got it mixed up. A part of Brittany hoped she didn't get it mixed up. Before she could answer though, felt Santana slide up next to her, holding a bag.
"Hey there Britt Britt," She said, smiling at her, she glanced at the lady and gave a polite smile. Brittany noticed the bag and raised her eye brow curiously.
"What's in the bag San?" She asked. Santana only grinned at her before reaching in and pulling out the cutest stuffed stingray she had ever seen.
"I know you totally love stingrays, because you think they're always smiling, and today was super awesome so I thought I'd get you something to remember it by. So long as you name it after me" she said proudly. Brittany grinned so hard that Santana thought her face would split into two. Brittany engulfed her friend in the tightest hug imaginable and flushed when she made eye contact with the old lady, who mouthed, See what I mean? At her with raised eyebrows. Brittany only smiled back and hugged her friend tighter; nothing could stop the feelings of confusion and anxiousness that seeped through all the good ones. They broke away from the hug and Santana laced their hands together again. Tugging them towards the exit.
"We should go, before the aquarium finds all the other stuff I totally just jacked from them" She said hurriedly, looking around before ripping them out of the store.
Santana dropped Brittany off at her house, smiling when Brittany gave her the usual kiss on the cheek and thanked her again for the stuffed stingray. Santana wanted her retreating figure and sighed, gripping the steering wheel as a flurry of emotions hit her like a hurricane. She so needed to hit up Tunes Bar and Grill again.
Brittany closed the front door behind her and immediately called Quinn, reciting the day's events, including the old lady. Quinn listened with calmness, but really she was smiling like a school girl at the thought of Santana taking the blonde out on what was essentially a date. Brittany went to bed that night with Quinn's words in her mind.
"Just talk to her about it, you won't get any answers if you never ask the questions."
Brittany sat in front of Santana's make up table, watching Santana tie up her hair for her. They had just done some pretty sinful things for around, two hours? Being a dancer gives you some crazy stamina, something Santana had learnt after the first time they went for, like, six rounds in one night. Today was probably almost one of the worst days of her Santana's life.
FLASH BACK
Santana made a bee line straight to Brittany's locker. She felt people's eyes on her, ever since Quinn, Brittany, and her had quit the cheerios, Santana had felt more vulnerable than ever. Though losing her social standing was way better than losing Brittany, which would've happened if she had been shot out of a cannon. Santana casually slid up next to Brittany, put of her seducing smirk, hell bent on getting it on with her friend, who, in her opinion, had gone way too long without sleeping with her.
"Hey Britt Britt. So listen. How about you and I pop in some Sweet Valley High this afternoon, and get our cuddle on?" She said smirking that oh so beautiful smirk. But it faded when Brittany looked at her apologetically.
"Look, I'd really like to get my sweet lady kisses on, but I haven't been feeling very sexy lately," Santana raised an eye brow in confusion, and Brittany looked at the ground and sighed, elaborating. "I think I have a bun in the oven. Please don't tell anyone, okay? Especially not Artie." And with that, Brittany gave her a tight lipped smile and walked off. Santana stood rooted to her spot, her heart clenching and twisting evilly. Her world was crashing down on her. Brittany? Pregnant? With a mini stubbles? Santana didn't know what to do, her throat was closing up and she felt what she was one hundred per cent was jealously, run through her veins and claw at her stomach. She was so going to kill stubbles.
Thankfully that had been just a false alarm, and Santana couldn't have been gladder that Brittany wasn't in fact, carrying a mini version of Spongebob Cripplepants. In celebration of Brittany not being impregnated by what Santana was sure would be the Anti-Christ, she invited the blonde over to her house where she went down on her until she came four times consecutively and couldn't feel her own legs, which Santana had been especially proud of. But the moment was over and now Santana was tying up Brittany's hair and pushing back the sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach when she wondered if this was all it was ever going to be between them. Honestly, Santana was scared shitless, scared that she could be in love with her best friend, scared she could be in love with another girl, scared she could be in love at all. But then Brittany smiled at her once and all those worries disappeared before reappearing every time she was away.
"I want to talk to you about something," Brittany said suddenly, Santana looked at her through the mirror and gave her a confused expression. "I really like when we make out and… Stuff" Santana suddenly had a panicking feeling, was Brittany trying to put an end to this? Why would she say she liked it then? Santana wondered if it was the problem about cheating again, and felt the need to reassure her.
"Which isn't cheating, because…?" Santana asked. Brittany looked at her through the mirror with an expression she couldn't place. Brittany saw that Santana needed what looked like, reassurance?
"The plumbing's different" Brittany said robotically, the more she said it, the more she fooled herself into believing it. Santana hummed in approval, tightening the blondes pony tail before moving to reapply the lipstick the blonde had smudge off when she shoved Santana up against the door and kissed her senseless. "But when Artie and I are together…" Santana resisted the urge to vomit at the thought of someone else touching Brittany," We talk about feelings and stuff." Uh oh, where is this going? Santana thought wildly.
"Why?" She asked, masking her fear with indifference.
"Because with feelings it's better" Brittany said simply. Santana felt her walls build up again. She was so not ready for the feelings talk right now. Her throat closed up and she did what she always did when something uncomfortable was brought up on her, she deflected and defended herself from any chance of being hurt.
"Are you kidding? It's better when it doesn't involve feelings, " which was partly true, if they fucked and Brittany didn't know how she felt, vice versa, then nothing would change, and she would settle for that if it meant they could still be together. "I think it's better when it doesn't involve any eye contact." Santana shrugged and went over to her bed, picking up stray pillows that had fallen when the blonde came so hard she couldn't keep her limbs in order.
"I don't know" Brittany drawled out, trying to choose her words carefully. "I guess I don't know how I feel about us" She said honestly. Santana bit her lip and sighed internally, I guess that makes two of us, she thought bitterly. What was happening? They went from some really hot and heavy fucking, to some really hot and heavy feelings. Santana didn't like where this conversation was steering, what was Brittany trying to imply? That they could have some kind of relationship? She didn't know whether that thought scared her more, or made her happy more. But if Brittany was saying they could have a relationship, then that would imply… Oh hell no, Santana lopez does NOT do labels.
"Look, let's be clear here. I'm not interested in any labels. Unless it's on something I shop lift," Santana said, trying to lighten the dense atmosphere. Brittany didn't laugh, she only sighed.
"I don't know, Santana. I think we should talk to someone. Like an adult. This relationship is really confusing for me." Oh what the fuck, Santana thought. She was surprised; did Brittany actually want to talk about seeing someone? Oh shit oh shit, deflect, and change the subject, anything!
"Breakfast is confusing for you," Santana said lamely, Brittany pondered this for a moment before answering.
"Well, sometimes it's sweet and sometimes it's salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner? Then what is it?" She asked, but gave no time for reply. "Doesn't matter, I really want to talk to someone, being confused isn't fun, I don't want to question this anymore. Please? We can just talk to someone once and if it's silly then we won't do it again. Please, for me?" Santana furrowed her brows, she wanted to say no, for the sake of her heart telling her she might be setting herself up for heartbreak. But this time Santana didn't listen, if Brittany felt something, then that's why she must want to talk to someone, right? Santana needed answers too, she needed to get rid of this sickening feeling in her stomach.
"Okay, I guess we can, but it has to be Ms Holliday, I can't stand Ms Pillsbury." She said shaking her head. Brittany squealed and jumped up, hugging her friend. She pulled back and kissed Santana deeply, thanking her for agreeing. Santana returned the kiss and well, round five, here they go.
The finishing melody of Landslide drifted through the choir room, and Santana hastily wiped her eyes, giving Brittany a tight lipped smile. The blonde returned it and looked at her with unabashed love.
"Is that how you really feel?" Brittany asked, hesitantly. Santana lifted the corners of her mouth and wiped her eyes.
"Uh huh, yeah" she said, getting up to hug Brittany. Santana felt a weight lift off of her, like she just exposed a part of herself she waited so long to set free. Then Rachel Berry opened her mouth and Santana felt that part sink back into her and lock itself up.
"Look," Santana spat harshly, "just because I sang a song with Britt, doesn't mean you can put a label on me. Is that clear?" Rachel's smile faltered and she nodded. Santana gave one last fleeting look at Brittany before going to sit down, missing the way Brittany's eyes flashed with disappointment, something Quinn didn't miss. Santana stared at the ground in front of her, what's happening to me? She thought, she was scared, so so scared. She knew the answer was in front of her, but her mind fumbled and she couldn't seem to grasp it. Like an itch on her body, no matter how many places she scratched, they were all close but none of them were it.
Brittany took a seat next to Artie, everything was fine until Rachel had said something. Landslide was a really romantic song, and Santana had said she really felt that way, so why did she get so defensive? It was then that Brittany realised something, Santana was scared. She was so scared that someone would judge her that she would never be ready to admit what she so obviously felt now. Brittany didn't know if she could wait around until Santana was ready, because she had someone who was ready, someone who was proud to call her theirs. In the end, it came back to the same old question.
Santana or Artie?
Santana was staring at her bed room ceiling when her phone rang, knocking her out of her internal battle. She grabbed her phone and saw it was Quinn; she smiled slightly and picked up.
"Hello this Lima's very own sex phone line, how may I help you?" She said in a professional tone, she heard Quinn's laugh on the other side of the phone.
"Very funny ass hat, but jokes on you, I already have that number saved" Santana gagged.
"Told you, it's always the jesus loving ones" Santana said, fake disappointment in her tone.
"You're gross. Anyway, what was up with that song you and Britt sang today?" Quinn asked bluntly. Santana rolled her eyes; trust Quinn to have no boundaries.
"Nothing, we just sang a song because she wanted to" Santana said, trying to sound casual, it was mostly true. It was Santana's idea to sing, and the song was pretty deep and heartfelt.
"Quit talking shit and tell me what's really up," Quinn said pointedly. Santana could tell by the tone of her voice she wasn't joking around. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, her heart was about to combust, and maybe it was time she gave into her feelings?
She took in a shaky breath and opened her mouth, her stomach was filled to the brim with butterflies and she willed herself to speak. "I think *deep breath* tha-that" she cleared her throat and Quinn sat in her bedroom holding her phone and biting her nails nervously in anticipation of what was about to come, "I'm in love with Brittany." Santana felt an enormous weight lift off her heart as the words rolled around in her mouth, she smiled slightly and said it again, more confidently. "I'm in love with Brittany." The words felt foreign, but so right. And Santana smiled a genuine smile when she heard Quinn scream on the other line.
"YES HOLY SHIT IT'S ABOUT TIME BRITTANA, BRITTANA!" Quinn shouted happily. Santana laughed at her friend's silliness, but silently thanked her for making this so much easier. She loved Quinn for her support and her endless shoulder to cry on. Quinn really was the most loyal person she had ever met, aside from all that cheating.
"All right settle down, you silly cunt" Santana said, rolling her eyes when Quinn was taking deep breaths.
"Okay sorry sorry, I'm just so excited, " her tone suddenly turned serious, " are you going to tell Brittany?" Santana hesitated, was she? Brittany had Artie, would she really just drop him for Santana.
"Of course she would, Brittany loves you, and I'm pretty sure the only reason she dated Artie was to make you jealous," Quinn remembered what Brittany had told her before, how she might have been in love with Artie, she just didn't know yet. Quinn disregarded this though, because if Santana told her she was in love with the blonde, then they were for sure going to get together, it would be a sin against nature for them not to be. "Trust me, she loves you, you guys are meant to be together, everyone can see it. She's your soul mate, San, and you're hers. You guys are endgame." Santana felt her heart strings tug, she knew it right then and there that Brittany was her soul mate, her first true love.
"Yeah, endgame" Santana repeated, smiling into the night. She was starting to believe Quinn, they did belong together, it was always Brittany and Santana, or Santana and Brittany.
"I think, I think I'm going to tell her tomorrow," Santana said, nodding resolutely into the darkness of her room. Quinn squealed again on the other line and Santana smiled, but she felt another heavy weight replace the one that had just left, and now Santana knew what it was.
"Quinn?" She asked softly. Quinn furrowed her brow, her friend suddenly sounded so scared, so naked.
"I'm… I mean I think, I'm, uhm…. G…" Santana stumbled with the words; unable to physically say them, but Quinn caught on, and smiled into her phone.
"I know San, I know. And I love you all the same; you're still Santana to me. You're still you, just the way you should be. "Quinn said honestly. Santana choked back a sob, so grateful for someone like Quinn, even though she didn't say the words; she knew that one day she might be able to.
"Thank you Quinn, you don't know how much this means to me, how much you've helped me, thank you," Santana said, Quinn was slightly taken back, it wasn't every day the cold hearted Santana Lopez thanked somebody, so meaningfully as well.
"It's okay Santana, I love you too," Quinn said, smiling through her phone. Her smile grew tenfold at the thought that in 24 hours' time, her two best friends might be together. They said their goodnights and hung up.
Santana dropped her phone on her bed and stared up again at the ceiling, like all the answers were painted on them, and they were. There was only one thing she could think about now, only one answer she held.
Tomorrow, she was going to tell Brittany S Peirce that she was in love with her.
A/N i ship it so fucking hard lol leave a review if u enjoyed it !
