Ahem...[edges sheepishly into spotlight, clad in full SWAT gear]...
Hiya everyone. Before you all say anything and start throwing things at me, yes I am aware that this chapter is a little late. I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter, and I'm still not completely satisfied with it now, but I didn't want to keep you all waiting any longer, so just thought I'd publish it and see what you guys think. I really hope its not too bad - my sincere apologies in advance if it falls short of your expectations.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own TMNT or related characters. Only the plot is mine (well, at least, I think it is). :)
"My sons, Miss O'Neil and Mr Jones, we cannot lose hope. Raphael is strong, and if we believe in him, I know he can be even stronger. We must believe that Raphael can survive this, for if we do not, he has no chance of recovery. Now, you should all rest. I will sit by him for a while, and perhaps try reaching him through meditation."
"Alright sensei, but I shall come relieve you in two hours. Mikey can have the shift after me, and Casey can do the shift after him." Leo bowed as he left the room, everyone else following behind him to try to get some sleep. As he shut hid bedroom door behind him, Leo knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep, but he laid down on his bed all the same, now letting the tears run freely down his face.
Down the hallway in his own room, Donny was also struggling to sleep. He felt tired, but his concern for his older brother would not let him rest. With a sigh, he switched on his computer, and began trawling numerous medical sites, hoping against hope that he would find something that would help his brother. He knew April would be doing the blood tests right about now, and he was tempted to go to the lab to help her – anything so that he wasn't left alone with his thoughts. But he knew that April would simply waste valuable time – time they might not even have – shooing him out of the lab and into bed, so instead he just leaned back in his chair, still staring at his computer screen. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and begin to droop – he desperately tried to hold them open, but found himself unable to fight against his weariness, and within a few minutes he was in a deep sleep.
Mikey was sitting on his bedroom floor, an old shoebox in front of him. With trembling fingers, he lifted the lid, and began to remove its contents. There were several photos, and as he sifted through them he found himself remembering the times in which they had been taken. Like when they had first started training to be ninjas and how proud they all were when Master Splinter presented them each with their own ninja mask, and several photos from Christmases and Birthdays over the years. As he shuffled through them, he noticed that Raph was missing from several, or could just about be seen in the background – with a sharp pang he realised just how much they had all left him out over the years. Maybe that's why he's like he is, Mikey thought, maybe we did that to him. We always assumed that was just who he was, but what if we made him like that. The next picture he came across made Mikey's eyes fill with tears once again. He remembered all too clearly the day it had been taken….
The turtles were about 14 years old, and it was almost midnight. Raphwas itching to go out – he had a new pair of roller blades, and couldn't wait to try them out in the local skate-park, which would be deserted by now for sure. He decided to ask Mikey if he wanted to go with him – Mikey was his best friend (although he'd never actually admitted this to Mikey), and Mikey loved the skate-park, because it gave him a chance to show off his skateboard moves. As usual, Mikey was vegging out in front of the TV. Raph approached cautiously- he hoped Mikey wasn't still upset with him for accidentally standing on and breaking one of his 'action figures'.
"No way, Raph. There's no way I wanna hang out with you anymore, not after what you did to Silver Sentry."
"Awww, c'mon Mikey. I said I was sorry. Anyways, it was only a little piece that came off – I glued it back together and ev'rythin'. Please, bro."
"Nuh-uh." Mikey glared at his older brother, before resuming his TV-time.
"Fine then!" Raph stormed out of the lair, not wanting Mikey to see how upset he was. He went to the skate park, but it was no fun by himself. There, hidden in the shadows by one of the ramps, Raph did something he almost never ever did…he cried.
At the time, he had never really noticed it, but now Mikey could clearly recall the look of deep hurt that had appeared in Raph's eyes. Now that he thought about it, Raph's eyes often held that look of sadness and hurt, although it was often hidden behind a haze of rage. Mikey quickly put it back into the box, almost as if it had stung him, and in a way it had – he realised just how much his hot-headed brother was hurting. He felt tears run even more down his face, and he wanted Raph to be there, to hold him an dry his tears, just like he'd done when they were little.
"Don't leave us, Raph…don't leave me!"
Master Splinter has settled himself in a chair by Raph's bedside, and was now doing his best to reach his red-masked son through meditation. He was alarmed to find that he could not reach him – he could usually always reach them when they were ill. He was still trying when he sensed Leonardo enter the room. He opened his eyes, and looked at his eldest child.
"I could not communicate with him, my son. I do not know what is wrong – I have always been able to contact you all when you were ill."
Leo laid a hand on his father's shoulder, "It's alright, sensei. Raph will be fine – I know he will be." Master Splinter nodded slowly, before exiting the room. "He just has to be." Leo whispered to himself.
Over the next few days, Master Splinter tried repeatedly to contact his son through meditation, but failed to reach him every time. Meanwhile, Donny and April were working round the clock, trying to treat Raph. They had now worked out some more specific antibiotics to administer, but they had almost lost him several times. However, it now seemed as if Raph was pulling through – his fever was beginning to go, and his breathing was returning to normal. Yet he still had not woken up, and this was of great concern to everyone, especially coupled with the fact that his mind could not even be reached in their mediation sessions.
"When's he gonna wake up, Donny?" Mikey asked for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last couple of hours.
"I've told you Mikey – we just don't know. It looks like he's recovering from the septicaemia, which in itself is nothing short of a miracle, so now we just have to be patient and let his body heal."
"But he will be okay, though?" Mikey whined, wanting desperately for Donny to give him a definite answer.
Donny sighed – why could his little brother not understand that he couldn't answer that? "Mikey, why don't you go and watch TV or something? Don't worry, I'll stay here with Raph." Donny wiped his hand down his face as he watched his orange-masked brother reluctantly leave the infirmary. He then turned back to look at Raph….
….and was shocked to see his eyes were open.
"Raph! Oh, Raph!" Donny rushed to his older brother's side, grabbing his hand. "You're awake!" Nothing. Raph's eyes were open, but there was no response – Raph just stared up at the ceiling, the only movement being his body's mechanical reflex of blinking. Donny was both puzzled and alarmed – he waved his hand in Raph's line of vision to see if it incurred any response…nothing. In fact, the eyes held a glazed expression, as though even though his eyes were open, Raph was not actually seeing any of it.
"Maybe he's gone blind?" Donny wondered to himself, praying it wasn't so. But then he remembered that Raph had not reacted when he spoke to hi or touched him. No, something far more serious was wrong, and Donny didn't think it was a physical problem. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he did not hear the soft patter of feet behind him.
"My son, what is wrong?" Donny jerked out of his reverie at the sound of his sensei's voice.
"Master, he's awake, but…well, he's still unresponsive."
"What do you mean, Donatello?" The rat had a puzzled frown on his face as he approached the red-masked turtle. He could see that Raphael was awake,
"Raphael? My son, can you hear me?" There was no response to either this or the rat laying a furry paw on his shoulder. "Donatello, my son, something is very wrong with your brother, and I fear it may be a mental problem, and not a physical one."
"Can you do something, sensei? Perhaps you can reach him by meditation now?"
"I will try. Please, leave me alone with Raphael for a while – you may tell everyone that Raphael has awakened if you wish, but tell them they will not be able to come in to see him until I give them permission."
"Yes, sensei." Donny bowed, as he left the room, shutting the door behind him. Master Splinter once again settled down, eyes closed, to try to reach his son.
"Don, what's happened? Is Raph okay?" As soon as he saw Donny exit the lab, Leo had come running over to him.
"He's fine. It seems that he's recovered from the septicaemia but…"
" 'But' what, Don?"
"Well….he woke up - "
"He's awake! Donny why didn't you tell us! I have to go get the others!"
"No Leo! You don't understand – it still seems like he's not there."
"What are you talking about? Of course he's there!"
"No Leo. I spoke to him, touched him, but I got no response. It's kind of like his mind is somewhere else."
Leo stood there in shock, mouth gaping open. He couldn't process what Don was saying –something was wrong with Raph's mind?
Donny continued, "Master Splinter is with him now, trying to reach him through meditation again. If it is a problem in Raph's mind, then Master Splinter is our best chance of helping Raph."
"What if he can't? What happens then, Don?"
"I don't know Leo. I honestly don't know." Donny looked down at his feet, avoiding eye contact with his brother, before quickly hurrying off to shut himself in his room. Leo was left still standing there in shock, still wondering what the shell was wrong with Raph.
It was a few hours later when Master Splinter finally exited the infirmary. He looked tired, and Leo quickly got up to escort him to his favourite armchair. By now, everyone was crowded round him, eager to hear what news he brought. The old rat looked wearily round at all of them, and sighed.
"My sons, Miss O'Neil and Mr Jones. I have been trying for several hours to contact Raphael through meditation. You will be pleased to know that I sensed Raphael, but unfortunately I was not able to reach him. It seems as if he has buried himself within his mind somehow, possibly as an escape route."
"Oh shell, poor Raphie." Mikey sniffled, eyes welling up.
"How do we get him back, sensei?" Leo asked, putting an arm around his baby brother's shoulders.
"All we can do is make him feel safe and secure. We must wait for him to come out on his own."
"More waitin'?! Geez, I'm sick o' waitin'! Why can't we do somethin'?" Casey had jumped to his feet, and his fists were clenched tightly at his sides.
"I understand, Mr Jones. I, too, feel helpless, as I am sure we all do. But we must be patient – this is something Raphael must do alone."
"Can we go see him now, sensei?" Mikey asked tearfully. The old rat nodded as he stood up.
"Yes, you may. Talking to him may help as well, even if it seems as if he cannot hear you. I am going to rest now." He then shuffled off to his own chamber.
The three turtles and the two humans approached the infirmary door cautiously – none knew quite what to expect, and were quite nervous. As they approached, they became less tense – with most of the tubes and wires now removed, Raph didn't seem so alien. But the glazed expression his eyes held was quite disturbing – it was like he was a million miles away. They sat down around his bed, waiting for something –anything – to happen. After a few minutes of silence, Mikey finally managed to say,
"Hey Raph. Ya know, we really miss you a lot….come back to us, okay bro?" His voice cracked as he said, "I want my big brother back."
"Yeah, Raph. You can do it, I know you can." Donny spoke up, putting an arm round Mikey's shoulders.
"You have to do it. Otherwise who am I going to argue with? And who else is going to question my every move as leader?" Leo tried to joke, his voice full of emotion.
"And whose gonna bust up those Purple Dragon punks wi' me if yer not 'ere?" Casey voiced.
"Raph, if you can hear me...just remember that we all care about you. We need you – things haven't been the same without you." April spoke softly, leaning against Casey's shoulder.
Nothing. Raph showed no sign that he had heard them. They all let out one big sigh – what had happened to him?
So, hopefully that was okay, and you aren't left feeling dissatisfied or as though that is a few wasted minutes of your life that you'll never get back.
Either way, please review. I've started on the next chapter now. Hopefully it won't give me as much trouble as this one did, but I'll just warn you that it could be a couple of days late. Thanks in advance for your reviews. :)
