JMJ

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Surprise Inspection

Water, water, water. WATER! No water anywhere. Not a drop, not a molecule, except maybe the rivers of sweat dripping from Kojiro's face. When he had climbed down the hill, he had tried to come back the way he had come.

There was still no sign of Musashi. There was still no sign of a living being period.

Aimlessly he walked, however. With the hill the only landmark and the dunes quite high, he found it difficult to return to the forest. No matter which direction he chose, the hill would always be behind him, and the more he walked, the more he realized that he could not find his way back.

With tongue hanging out doglike and a sagging posture that was slowly turning him hunchbacked, every step Kojiro took was a miracle in itself. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and moaned to himself, although no one was around to hear him, and he went on in this manner for some time.

Kojiro even started seeing things, he was so parched and weary and hot. First just water, but slowly other things, like battleships and dump trucks, and a giant ancient computer. Every time he passed something unusual, he forced himself to look away, even plug his ears. He tried desperately just to keep himself from screaming. He saw a lamp post at one point with a broken bulb. He saw a modern, sleek, black, ceiling light fixture sticking up on its side in the sand. He saw a hologram projector playing shakily the tail end of a colorful Hatsune Miku music video, and another time, he saw a sizzling TV screen showing Wario and Waluigi in a Mario Golf cut scene. He even saw a theater sized screen far in the distance playing Casablanca. The sound of "Day's Gone By" echoed over the dunes mournfully in the dreary wind like the memory of a forgotten dream. That was not nearly as bad as "A Very Merry Unbirthday" crackled from a giant 40's radio down the way, and flashes of Disney's animated Alice in Wonderland flashed sporadically round the dial.

He was going delusional. Had to be. He laughed a little crazily just to make it all the worse.

Tell us a story, Nyaasu! Kojiro thought giddily. Come on, tell us!

"Oh, fine, nya! Once upon a time," he imagined Nyaasu saying while wearing a rumpled Victorian suit as he was seated beside Kojiro with a stiff collar and a broad hat, and Wabafet was on the other with hare ears taped to his head, "there were three dubbed characters, Jessie, James, and Meowth, and they fell at the bottom of a hole."

"Why?" the brat boy of all people might ask.

"Well, they dug it, nya" said Nyaasu.

"Then why'd they fall in it?" the boy demanded.

"They forgot where it was," said Nyaasu simply with a revolving paw. "Anyway, they also dropped some of their lunch down there, nya. So they decided to sit down and eat."

"What?"

"Wasabi."

"You can't just eat plain wasabi!" protested the boy. "This is stupid!"

"Hey!" cried Kojiro. "Don't be rude!"

Wabafet heartily agreed.

"But it would have blown off their faces!" the boy pointed out.

"It did! All the way!" exclaimed Nyaasu. "But when they finally calmed down after shoving three pounds of dirt in their mouths, they decided that as long as they were in the hole they would go dig their way under the Pokémon Center."

"Hah! They're thieves!" cried the brat. "I might have known. Just like you!"

"Nya!" cried Nyaasu knowingly, and he tapped the side of his head, "But this was no ordinary Pokémon Center. This was a script Pokémon Center."

"WHAT!?"

"Brilliant!" shouted Kojiro.

Wabafet hastily nodded. "Wabba! Wabba!"

"See, the dubbed characters were curious to know what they said in Japanese," said Nyaasu, "so they were trying to steal the scripts. Unfortunately all the words were categorized by letter, and they could only find words starting with the Japanese character for Nya! Like nyante nya, and nya-ni, ny-eko, nya-to, and nya-ana kanji, and Ny-intendo, nya, nya, nya … ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

Everyone save the brat boy fell fast asleep, and the boy with a deep frown grumbled, "Uh, that was … pointless."

Still they slept.

"So when are you gunna tell me what you did with my PIKACHU … !"

#

Kojiro blinked back to what he assumed was reality.

That was when he saw it. Yes, it, the "it" of "its" that could not help but arrest the attention of those sore, red eyes as they rested upon its beautiful shape.

"An ice cream stand!" he gasped.

Another illusion? It had to be. Of course, it could not be real.

He rubbed his eyes, hoping when he opened them all he would see would be the whirl of grey sand, but he did not. The ice cream stand stood more real than ever, and it made him shake and even let out miserable squeaks in frustration. At last, he could stand it no more.

"I don't care if it's an illusion!" Kojiro cried. "I want it!"

Hearing his voice again seemed to break a spell of some kind, and Kojiro bolted towards the ice cream stand positive that it would disappear as soon as he reached it. He would run right through the stand, surely. Oh, and then he could tell himself how much he had told himself so.

Closer, closer, closer the ice cream stand drew. It became clearer instead of dreamier, but Kojiro would not fall for it. He kept running and running, and then.

CRASH!

Lights flashed before his eyes as he fell backwards on the ground, but the pain in his face was completely he ignored. He knew right then that he was either completely nuthouse worthy or the ice cream stand was 100% real.

He leapt to his feet.

"One large ice cream soda to go, please!" Kojiro exclaimed, holding up a finger and grinning broadly at the strange digimon behind the counter. What moisture remained in his mouth watered with his anticipation, and he clasped his hand together eagerly.

"What flavor?" grumbled the digimon, looking quite lethargic.

"Any flavor!" Kojiro gasped. "Just make it quick!"

He still did not believe it when his hands wrapped around the cool, Styrofoam cup. He did not even believe it when he took his spoon and swirled the creamy contents inside once around. Not bothering with the straw, Kojiro just began to drink the ice cream soda as fast as he could. The ice cream headache seconds afterward felt pretty real even if the ice cream itself felt and tasted more like a sublime dream otherwise.

When he finished the ice cream, he smiled dreamily himself, and straightened himself while looking out at nothing in particular through a pair of lazy lids. Then after a moment, he leapt up to the ice cream stand again.

"You wouldn't happen to have anything else besides ice cream, would you?" Kojiro asked pleasantly.

The lethargic creature only blinked slowly in return.

"I mean it's okay if there isn't," Kojiro went on, "but I wouldn't mind something a bit more substantial too, if you know what I mean." He chuckled dizzily to himself.

"We have ice cream, Turkish delight, popping chocolates, baby's candy, 'Go' dango, and idiot's specialty."

"What was that last one?" asked Kojiro, suddenly having a very bad feeling about the situation, but even as he took a step back it was too late.

A foot suddenly met with thin air, and before he could steady himself he found himself suddenly falling. Screaming all the way, Kojiro slid down a chute. Black, cold, and very, very deep, he fell and fell, and now felt for certain he must be crazy. After all, this was the rabbit hole if anything else was.

"No!" he shouted, and then tried with all his might to stop himself from falling further.

Putting out his hand and feet, and still screeching through clenched teeth, he pushed hard against the walls of the shaft, but just before he came to a standstill he suddenly met with thin air again.

"ACK!"

In a swoop and a final shriek he landed on his back on something relatively soft; though his back still felt a bit of the pain from the collision regardless. He moaned.

Before he could even begin to wonder where he was, he felt the sensation of being pushed in something. Pulling himself up a bit (though not without a squeak as he clutched his sore arm) he found himself on a gurney-like table, and being pushed by some furry, strange monkey-like creatures that seemed not even to notice the passenger as they pushed along the dimly lit corridor.

These were koemon, not that Kojiro knew or care what they were, and apparently a group of koemon that had never seen a human being; thus considered him just a weird-looking digimon, fortunately for him at the moment.

"Wait, wait!" he cried. "What's going on?"

"Strap him down," said one creature to the other.

Kojiro tried to protest, but at the press of a button on the side of the gurney, the koemon suddenly released metal straps which roughly bound him, first at his legs, then around the middle, then at his wrists and finally on his forehead.

"No, stop!" Kojiro screamed as he tried to pull himself loose, but it would do no good. "Stop! There's some mistake! Stop!"

Then they stopped suddenly, and feeling slightly more confident, Kojiro growled, "Alright, that's better! Now get me out of this! Or you'll be sorry!"

"Check his pockets," said one koemon to the others.

"What?!" screamed Kojiro. "No! Don't check my pockets!"

They ignored him, and took what they could which was not much.

"Findings?"

"Lint, sand, a random stamp with a funny blue wind chime thingy on it, and some stray bottle caps."

"Crap," muttered the first. "Chuck 'em."

"No! Hey, those are mine!" growled Kojiro. "You can't just—"

"What about these things at his belt?"

"Take those too."

"No, not those!" Kojiro cried frantically, and again he squirmed and pushed, trying desperately to get away.

Still none of them listened as they removed the pokéballs and examined them carefully.

"Those might be worth something," said the first. "We'll sell them later. Keep them."

"But what are they?" asked one of the others.

"How should I know," grumbled the first. "What is the status on the idiot?"

The creatures suddenly moved their attention to the specimen himself, and Kojiro squeezed his eyes shut and cringed.

"Go away, leave me alone!" he sobbed.

With strength surprising for their size, they first examined the wound on his arm, "AHHH! No, stop! That hurts!" Kojiro wailed. Then one lifted both eye lids and checked his eyes. "Ah!" With a stethoscope, they listened on the top of his head "What are you doing?!", one tapped a fingernail as to test for hardness "Stop that!", another one pushed down rather roughly on his chest "Uhhhg!", two of them plucked out a couple strands of hair from his head and inspected them "Ouch!", and yet another licked the bottom of his boot and stuck out her tongue with extreme distaste "Let me go! Stupid things!"

"Idiot is in fairly decent condition," reported the digimon to their apparent superior. "He just needs water." "And probably food." "And maybe some medical attention on his arm in case it gets infected." "It's already looking a little unsavory."

Now Kojiro was more confused than ever. Why should they care what condition he was in? What did they want? With a severed gulp and a shiver, he waited.

Just as they suggested, they moved then solely to his arm. He let out a yelp as they removed his makeshift bandage. They set to work cleaning the bite, and bringing out a suspicious looking liquid out from under the gurney, they proceeded to lather it generously on the wound. It stung like disinfectant and smelled like it too. Okay, so they really were helping in that regard, but by the rest of the treatment he was receiving, he doubted this would end well.

When they finished, they wrapped the bite with a real bandage and then all the koemon stepped back.

"Okay, he's fit for the queen's final look over."

"Queen?" Kojiro squeaked.

"Yeah, so get off that thing, and make yourself respectable!" growled the first koemon.

Kojiro frowned and rolled his eyes. "Well …" he muttered slowly. "I'd love to, but in case you forgot I'm strapped down to this thing!" The last part he screamed at the top of his lungs, in case the reader was wondering.

The bonds instantly withdrew, and the second he was free, Kojiro leapt from the gurney with all fury, his hands ready to grab at the creatures ears and tie every one of them together in a big knot. He lunged towards them, teeth set and eyes red with emotion, but he had barely enough time to actually stop himself from running into those creatures as they suddenly possessed seemingly out of nowhere, very sharp, long spears.

"Wa!" he cried, and nearly fell over as he stumbled backwards away from those pointy objects. "You know, I wouldn't have been in very good condition if you actually hit me with those things!" he pointed out.

"Just get moving," said the first.

"Yeah, shut up and get moving. The queen wants more workers for her underground castle."

"What? I'm not—"

"You do or you die!" was the snarly retort.

Kojiro digressed, and with a mournful sigh, he allowed himself to be prodded down the corridor. Yet, before they turned a corner, Kojiro did have time to notice, one of the digimon pushing the gurney back under the shaft for some other helpless victim.

What a miserable place this Digital World was!

He was led through a door eventually, and on the other side were various digimon writing and discussing on a platform-like rock formation. They seemed not to notice Kojiro or his captors, but perhaps the loud echoes from down below might have drowned out their entrance, especially considering most were shouts of "Work faster" and of machinery and of occasional growls or screams. Everything echoed strangely against the tall cave ceiling and walls all around them.

On the far side of the platform, was a throne and upon the throne sat a digimon, quite feminine in appearance, but still very creature-like even in her empress-like clothing, especially with her very pointed feline ears poking out of her headdress and the long tufts of fur on the sides of her face like the tufts of a lynx or bobcat. Yes, and a long tail curled around the throne which looked more like the tail of a grey leopard. She glared down at the party and their captive as they approached, and then looking up at the captive himself she let out a sniff.

"What is this?" she demanded, her brown-grey eyes lowering to a lazy haze.

"A new worker, Sandlynxmon-sama," the koemon replied. "He's tall and healthy."

"He's kinda scrawny," muttered the Sandlynxmon. She paused, glaring thoughtfully as she studied Kojiro. "I never seen anything like you before. What sort of digimon are you?"

"I …" Kojiro began and bit his tongue. He did not know what he could say to escape this. Whether calling himself a digimon or human, nothing seemed to be able to free him. If he was just some old digimon, he would be sent to work, but if he was a human what would happen? The koromon loved him. The megaseadramon wanted to rip him to shreds. What would these creatures do? He did not want to know!

"Well?" demanded the queen.

"I …" he squeaked.

"Answer or die!" growled his captors, waving their spears dangerously.

Kojiro let out a cry.

"Kojiro …" he whispered.

The queen raised a brow and leaned closer. "What?"

"Kojiro!" he cried. "I'm Kojiro."

"What kind of name is that?" demanded the captors. "It's not like any name I ever heard."

"Floramon!" snapped the queen suddenly to one queer plant creature busily writing near at hand with amidst a slew of various other digimon.

"Yes, Sandlynxmon-sama!" he cried, leaping from his chair.

"Get over here!"

The floramon obeyed.

"What is that?" asked Sandlynxmon, thrusting a pole in Kojiro's direction.

The floramon turned sharply to the prisoner and leered for a moment. Slowly his mouth dropped and a look of panic crossed his face.

"Sandlynxmon-sama!" he gasped, and in a flurry of green leapt up to his queen and whispered something in her ear.

Sandlynxmon's eyes widened.

"Really?" she murmured. "Are you positive?"

"Yes, Sandlynxmon-sama," replied the floramon with a deep bow. "100% positive."

"What!" cried a koemon. "What is it?"

"What's going on, Sandlynxmon-sama?" asked another.

Abruptly the queen stood up. "This human will not be harmed," she said.

Everyone gasped.

"Human!?" cried the koemon in utter shock.

Kojiro's eyes widened, and he could hardly believe his ears. "Really?"


NOTE-The Alice and Wonderland bit is based off something my sister and one of my brothers made up together and laughed about. The initial idea of Team Rocket in Alice in Wonderland was my sister's idea, but I made up the story Nyaasu tells which is parodying the Doormouse's story. Oh, and Musashi's not there because she's the queen XD