I wake up the next morning to the baby crying.

Eric did not come to bed, that much is obvious. I feed the baby, get up and dressed, and when he's asleep again, I go out to see what the morning is like after a night like last.

The house is mostly asleep. Servants lower their heads as I walk by. They're clearly not sure what to expect, and neither am I.

I peek out the front door. Men are literally asleep on the ground, with empty beer jugs beside them. I imagine most of the villagers got to their beds last night, but a few of them were too drunk to make it.

Several of his men are sleeping in hall, presumably for protection detail, but he's not among them. His parents' room is empty, but I didn't expect him to be there. I don't know where to find the man I married, and I'm trying to fight back tears. Knowing Eric, he hasn't taken care of his arm.

In the kitchen, Frieda is quietly washing dishes.

"Frieda", I whisper.

She jumps and her head swings around.

"Majesty", she sighs, a hand on her chest, "I didn't hear you come in."

"My nerves are shot too", I share, "And you don't have to call me that. I can't imagine ever bein comfortable with that."

She nods her head and sighs again.

"I need some clean cloth, please." She hands me her towel. "No, no, clean."

She brings back a rag newly scrubbed. "Thanks. You haven't seen Eric have you?"

He shakes her head no.

Why can't he share his grief with me? I walk into the throne room, and there he is, awake, sitting at the high table, reading. He ripped part of his tunic off and it's wrapped haphazardly around the wound. Blood is dripping on the table.

I walk over to him slowly, and clear my throat so he knows I'm coming. He puts the pages down.

"Let me help you", I say, sucking in breath, "Your arm needs to be bandaged."

"I'm sorry if you were scared", he says, "Ysgar promised to take care of you, because I….couldn't."

"It's okay, you're hurt. You loved them."

I reach out for his arm, and for a second, I don't think he's going to give it to me. But he holds it out. "I'll have Frieda make you a poultice, you know it's too dangerous to leave a wound that could get infected untreated. Eric…what did you mean when you said "Odin, witness my sacrifice?", I ask him.

"I forgot you understand Swedish", he says with a sad chuckle. "But it was only a blood sacrifice to send my family on their way to Valhalla. Nothing for you to be concerned about."

"I've never heard of that", I say. "Didn't the burning ensure it? They received a proper burial."

He stands up, growls at me, and casts a frown down at me. "What makes you think you know everything, or even anything, about my world?" Eric always gets angry when he's nervous.

"It's my world now too, Eric."

"It will never be, Sookie, no matter how long you spend here", he says. "You will never understand."

Now that pisses me off. "I'm the person who saved this village, Eric! While you were off doing God knows what! These are my people too!" Raising my voice makes me choke.

I inhale and swallow hard.

"Sookie?"

He tries to meet my eyes, but I won't look at him. He takes my chin in his hand and tips it up. "Look at me, Sookie. Are you thirsty?"

"No, just tired…."

"Sookie!" He takes me by my shoulders and shakes me. I don't want to cry, but I can't stop it.

"Yes. You're scaring me, Eric", I say, and know I sound like I'm blubbering.

"Water!" he screams at the top of his lungs. He's been scared about this for a long time.

"Why do I feel thirsty in my dream?" I ask.

"Your body is trying to wake you up", he says.

Frieda comes in with a cup and a full bucket. I smile. She wasn't taking any chances.

"Drink, it might help", he insists.

While I'm drinking the water, it feels amazing, like relief. But as soon as I've swallowed it, the feeling comes right back. I just shake my head "no."

Eric growls, and slams the cup onto the table. "Dammit!"

Frieda runs in terror.

"Eric, you're not helping!"

Asgar chooses this moment to come in, and clears his throat. I look away.

"The Danes have passed the fourth marker. We need to kill them all. Who knows what they may be capable of!" Asgar insists.

"I've told you we don't need to go to them, they're coming to us. Trust that I know what I'm talking about, and obey me."

Asgar dips his head. "My King."

"Nevermind that, what about the information I asked for? Sookie, go…"

E.J. cries from our bedroom, hungry once again. "Your child is crying for you", Eric points out to me, but I want to hear what this about.

"Eric, I couldn't find it…."

"Did you ask the elders?" Eric asks.

"I thought the Danes would be more important…"

"I asked one thing of you", Eric seethes, "You said you wouldn't fail me."

I had no experience with the Eric I met last night, but this one…this one I know well.

"How could you fail me?!" he howls. Asgar ducks.

"I'll find someone who knows, My King", Asgar assures him.

"Come back when you have…." Eric grits out.

E.J. cries again.

"Eric…" I start.

"Feed my son, woman!" he screams at me, pointing down the hall to our room. "Are you deaf? Do you not hear him crying for his mother?"

I gasp. And then I'm running. Eric has not shown me that face in years.

E.J. is screaming at the top of his lungs, but he quiets immediately when I snuggle him against me. He's hungry all the time. Eric's son, just like he said. He makes a cooing sound and snuggles closer.

As I burst into tears, E.J. wails. He knows something is wrong.

Eric walks in as I'm holding the baby close. He has a full bucket of water and a cup in one hand. "Sookie, I can't apologize enough…"

"Go away."

"I have to ask of you what I asked of Asgar. Trust me. I'm going to fix this. I'm sorry", he says, dragging me into his arms, "I'm sorry." He kisses the top of my head. "I don't want you to worry. I'm sorry you're uncomfortable. Maybe if you keep water near you to drink all the time, it might feel better."

"Eric, I don't know what you're up to, but you're not God."

"I've been told otherwise", he says, crooking an eyebrow.

"Did you have these people chained up when you asked them?"

He snorts. "Sit."

He takes the baby, while I sit down, and then he places E.J. in my arms, where he nurses hungrily. Eric sits down next to us, and pulls me onto his lap.

"Eric, no…" I pull away. "You can't solve everything that way."

"Just let go", he says, "Please trust me. Let me worry."

I don't say anything, just pat my son's back as he nurses.

"He's certainly a big eater. Doesn't let a drop get away", Eric muses, running his fingers up and down his son's arm.

"Told you he was like you."

I bury my face in his chest and sob. E.J. lets out a plaintive wail as I squeeze him too tight.

Eric chuckles. "See, our son agrees, you need to let go a bit."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." I kiss the top of his head.

"Get some rest, let me take him", Eric offers. And he pushes the bucket my way. "And keep drinking."

"Let your momma rest." He picks the baby up, and holds his head, tucking him under his chin.

A gorgeous man mesmerized by the infant he dotes on, held tight in muscular arms. If this was modern times, I'd have to beat every woman in Louisiana off with a stick.

I lay my head down and just watch the two of them together. Eric's little duplicate. "So handsome", I smile. I forgive him as easily as I always do. Eric is shit worried. And we both know why.

I'm not leaving my child. Neither of us will admit it, but I think we both know what happens when we wake up. The baby was a dream and nothing else. But here, we have a life. History may be repeating itself, but if it does, and Eric becomes a vampire, he can care for our son. Or if he has to go with Godric, he can find someone who can. Maybe our son can become the new King.

No matter what happens, I don't get to have a future with my son. No first words, no learning to walk, no school, no advice, no teen crushes. Either I wake up, and he didn't exist. Or I don't and die slowly and painfully, spending as much time with him as I have left. I've been fighting waking up until we know more, but I have to be honest with myself. I made my choice, and I'm not losing my baby. He has to live.

I love them so much. But I can't stay with them. I try to memorize every moment when Eric smiles at our son, kisses his head, tells him how much he loves him. They'll be together, they'll be safe.

"Promise me you'll protect him forever."