I was in the middle of cooking lunch when my phone suddenly rang in the front pocket of my apron. ShinWoo and ChoHee had laughed at me as I put on their mother's white apron with pink lace edges.
"Very cute," ShinWoo had teased. I returned his sarcastic compliment with a soft whack to the head. ChoHee had simply kept laughing at me and called me 'mommy'.
"Hello?" I answered my phone.
"Oh, it's you, Aimee," I recognized Changsun's voice. "I was praying you hadn't given me a fake phone number."
"Why would I do that?" I ask, remembering that we had exchanged numbers after our teary moment yesterday.
"Uh, nevermind," Changsun laughed. "It was just a funny thought."
"Funny, indeed," I laughed as well. "I would've never given you a false number."
"Mhm, sure," Changsun replied sarcastically. I laugh again and open the oven to check on the red velvet cake I was making. I took in a whiff of the smell and sighed.
"Why are you sighing?" Changsun asked.
"Oh, I'm making a cake and it smells awesome," I tell him.
"Care to share?" Changsun teased.
"I would, but I'm at my boyfriend's parent's house," I tell him in a whisper. "And they don't really like me. So I don't know if bringing my best guy friend from childhood will make them love me more."
"Ah, I understand," Changsun replied. I smiled. He always understood no matter what.
"Yeah, sorry," I grin. "Maybe next time I'll make you a cake at your house instead. Where do you live in Busan anyway?"
"I'm really close near the high school," Changsun replied. "How much longer are you in Busan?"
I took a moment to think and gasped. I had totally forgotten.
"Aw," I groaned. "I'm leaving tomorrow night."
"What?" Changsun sounded shocked. "We've hardly had any time to spend together!"
"I know," I frowned.
"Want to go to the beach?" Changsun asked, his tone hinting towards the childhood memory of how we used to hold hands and scream out our problems to the ocean.
"It's winter, Changsun," I reminded him, laughing.
"Oh," Changsun replied, as if he'd forgotten. "Well then I guess we'll just have to find a really really tall building to scream off of."
I laugh, "Hmm…I don't know if ShinWoo's parents would approve."
"Oh come on," Changsun replied. "Since when has Aimee cared what others approved of opposed to what she wanted to do?"
"Since-"
I stop.
Since I wanted to marry my boyfriend?
Was I really just about to say that? I shake my head and sigh again. I loosen my apron and slip it off. I'm completely bummed again, thinking about marriage.
"Aimee, are you okay?" Changsun asks me.
"Yeah," I reply.
"Okay, it's official," Changsun sighed. "You need a good screaming off the tallest rooftop in Busan we can find."
I laugh lightly.
"Okay. I'll call you when my cake is done."
"ShinWoo!"
ShinWoo and ChoHee look up from the living room. Aimee walks in, without the lacey apron, to ShinWoo's disappointment. It really had been cute on her. Even if it was cute in a silly way.
"Hey, the cake is done and I'm going to go out for a while, okay?" she tells them both quickly.
"Where are you going?" ChoHee asks.
"Out," Aimee replies.
"Where's 'out'?" ShinWoo asked.
"I don't know," Aimee looked confused as she said the words. ShinWoo glanced at his sister, who simply shrugs at him.
"Changsun is taking me out to do this traditional thing we used to always do," Aimee smiled. "Our plane leaves tomorrow, ShinWoo, so he wanted to spend some time with me."
"Who's Changsun?" ChoHee asks. "An ex-boyfriend?"
"Yeah, right," Aimee scoffs, grinning. "He's an old friend of mine."
"Yep I knew it," ChoHee nods as if she's all-knowing. "Ex-boyfriend."
"You!" Aimee laughs and chucks the nearest pillow at ShinWoo's sister. ShinWoo grins, glad to see how well his sister and his girlfriend get along. And earlier today, it seemed his mother had even opened up a bit to her.
But ShinWoo wasn't so sure about letting Aimee go out with Changsun. Wasn't it a bit…indecent? And if anyone saw them she'd probably cause a scandal. Not that she cared, of course. But he did.
"I don't know if you should go out with him," ShinWoo said suddenly. Aimee and ChoHee both give him a strange look.
"Why do you say that?" Aimee asked, her tone not so playful anymore.
"I just…don't want you to cause a scandal," ShinWoo realized how ridiculously jealous he sounded. Aimee pursed her lips a moment at him. Then, she sighed.
"I'm not going to cause a scandal," Aimee muttered. "Why would you even say that? Changsun and I are just friends."
ShinWoo suddenly felt a flare of a temper in him.
"Sure didn't seem like that the other day," he crossed his arms and looked at Aimee.
Now that he was fully upset, Aimee didn't hold back her annoyance either. She, too, crossed her arms and stared at ShinWoo.
"I didn't come in to ask your permission to go," Aimee said sharply. "I was just letting you know I was going. So I don't need you to tell me you don't want to go. And anyway, why is it a bad thing?"
"Papparazzi is everywhere, Aimee," ShinWoo replied. "And anyway, you haven't even met the guy in what…nine years? How do you know he's not changed into some creep?"
"I only see one creep right now," Aimee snarled and turned away from him. She started towards the door, grabbing her coat. ShinWoo almost went after her, but then decided not to. He didn't care. Not right now.
As he turned around, he noticed ChoHee staring at him.
"What?" he asked.
"You were kind of being a creep," ChoHee said simply and stood up, leaving him alone in the living room. ShinWoo gritted his teeth.
"I am not being a creep!" ShinWoo called after ChoHee. "She's the one running around with another guy!"
"What?"
ShinWoo turned and saw his mother standing there in the doorway. He felt his face flush.
Aw. Crap.
I rubbed my hands together, trying to keep them warm. Changsun reached over and turned up the heat in the car. He smiled at me. We drove into the city. Changsun knew where we were going, but he wouldn't tell me.
"It's going to be big surprise," he had said.
So as we walked into this big hotel, we went straight into the elevator and Changsun pressed the button to go the roof. I was glad I had bundled up in my scarf and raspberry-colored wool gloves, a gift from MiNyu.
As the elevator came to a stop, Changsun put his hands over my eyes.
"Don't look," he told me.
"Okay," I laughed.
He lead me clumsily out of the elevator. I kept my eyes closed as he took my hand and led me up the stairwell.
"Careful," he warned. "I don't want you to fall."
"If I do, you're so dead," I playfully scold him. He laughs.
A door opens. I feel the cold wind hit my face as I stumble outside. Changsun takes both my hands into his. I keep my eyes shut, but smile. The air smelled fresh up here. Cold, but fresh and crisp. It was kind of a good feeling.
"Open your eyes, Jung Aimee."
I slowly open my eyes. In front of me, Changsun stood, smiling. I look around, expecting to see something. I don't know what, but just something. Changsun waits a moment, smirking.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"Aimee," Changsun walks closer to me. I realize that he'd nearly four inches taller than me. ShinWoo is about the same height. Maybe just slightly shorter than Changsun. I look at Changsun. The look on his face is strange. Something I haven't seen before.
"I always cared about you since we were little. I watched over you and protected you," Changsun suddenly said. "Your father used to always tell me about how he wished you would find a good man like me and marry him one day."
"What are you trying to say?" I suddenly feel uncomfortable. It's scary. Not once have I felt uncomfortable with Changsun. Never. He'd always been just as close to me as TaeKyung was.
"I'm trying to say…" Changsun bit his lip. "I…I don't want you to look at me as just your Oppa. I know this is sudden, especially after so many years apart, but…my feelings for you have not changed. I want to protect you, watch over you. I want to love you forever."
Changsun dropped to one knee. My jaw dropped. Slowly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, sleek black box. Then, he opened it and inside was a single diamond on a silver band. I thought I might just have a heart attack.
"Will you marry me?" he asked. "I'll protect you and be the man my father expected me to be for you. I know you have a man, but I know you don't love him the way you love me."
I was silent a long time. The winter wind whipped around us both and it's 'whoosh' was the only noise we heard for what seemed like eternities. I couldn't find the words to say to him. Nothing. Not one thing. What could I say?
I sighed.
"Changsun," I said softly. I got down on my knees in front of him. Reaching out, I touched the ring box, closing it. Changsun looked at me. He seemed confused.
"Thank you for looking out for me as a child," I smiled. "Thank you for loving me and protecting me. Thank you for caring about me even after all these years. Oh, if only I could go back to the years where I was so madly in love with you. But the past is in the past."
"You're right. I can never love ShinWoo like I love you. I love you like a brother. ShinWoo will always be the person in my heart, Changsun," I take Changsun's hands into mine. "And I dare not ask you to keep being like my big brother. I dare not ask you to continue to be good to me. But either way, I cannot give up ShinWoo. Please forgive me."
"Aimee…"
I feel tears in my eyes. I wipe them away and force a smile at him.
"Everything you offer me now with this ring, is everything I want except-"
"Except you don't want it with me," he muttered.
"Oppa…" I feel my chest tighten. "Mianhae."
Changsun shakes his head. He scoffs, smiling a discouraged smile.
"All these years, I waited for you to grow up. I waited to see you again," Changsun nods softly. Then, he looks at me. "It seems you really have grown up. To the point of not needing me anymore."
"ShinWoo is a good man," I tell him, wincing at the thought of our fight just moments before coming here to meet Changsun. "He loves me. He cares about me. He will take care of me and protect me. I'm sure of it."
"If he will, then why hasn't he asked you to marry him yet?" Changsun looks at me.
I bite my lip. I ponder the thought a moment. Changsun simply looks at me, waiting for me to give him an answer. I fall back onto the ground, clutching my knees to my chest. I bury my face in my knees. I was so confused.
Wasn't it bad enough ShinWoo didn't want to marry me? His mother even hates me. His ex-girlfriend is out to steal him back. I thought of Nobu. I had hurt one man so much just to pursue ShinWoo. One man I cared for. Now, I'd just hurt another man for the sake of ShinWoo.
Why must my love be built on the pain and suffering of others?
"Aimee," Changsun touched my arm gently. I bolted to my feet and ran to the edge of the roof.
"Aimee!"
Changsun called my name out in alarm that I'd jump over the edge of the roof. But I don't. I run to the edge and look up to the sky. I cup my hands around my mouth and start to scream.
"Kang ShinWoo!" I scream. "I love you! I love you so much it hurts me. Why did it have to be you? I love you so much. All I ever wanted to do was love you unconditionally without any concerns or problems! Why? Why did I have to be so selfish and hurt everyone around me?"
I lower my hands just a little.
"Nobu!" I scream his name as well. "I'm so sorry Nobu. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Changsun! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
Changsun puts a hand on my shoulder. I'm crying now. I shake his hand off of me. I cup my hands around my mouth and continue to scream out to the world the way I used to with Changsun at my side.
"Apa! Apa! I love you. I'm sorry and I love you. I wish we'd have never fought! I wish I could go back and do it over. I wish I could've been able to say goodbye to you. I love you. I love you, Apa."
Changsun watched me in silence.
"Aimee. Jung Aimee. I hate you. You're a selfish, senseless, evil, person!" I grab my hair and scream as loud as I can. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
I'm hysterical now. Changsun runs to me, wrapping his arms around me and telling me to stop.
"No! No! No!" I shove and smack him, trying to tell him to let go of me. "No!"
Suddenly, I feel a hard cold slap on my face. I freeze. Changsun just slapped me. He hugs me again, crying as well. He hugs me tightly. I feel like the tears on my cheeks are swollen. I've stopped screaming now.
"Stop it, Aimee," Changsun whispers to me. "Just stop it."
"Everything I touch turns to shit," I mutter, my voice cracking.
"Stop it, Aimee," Changsun says one last time. "Let's go home."
On the way home, the ride was silent. Changsun had handed me the ring box. I held it in my hands, examining the ring. Changsun kept glancing at me, but didn't say anything. Finally, I was getting irritated.
"Why do you keep looking at me?" I asked.
"Oh I was just…" Changsun pursed his lips together. "I was just going to say…Keep it."
"What? Are you crazy?" I look at him. "I can't keep this."
I stick the ring back in the box and close it. I try to hand it to him, but he doesn't take it.
"Keep it," he said. "I bought it just for you."
"I don't want to," I tell him softly.
"I want you to," he insists. "It was meant to be yours."
I shake my head, "Give it to the woman worthy of it."
There's a red light. Changsun stops the car. He sighs, and turns to look at me. He takes my hand and wraps my fingers tightly around the black box. He gives me a discouraged smile. My heart breaks all over again for him. I felt so terrible.
"If you love me as your Oppa, you'll keep it," he said.
I scoff, "Don't use that on me! I will definitely not keep it."
"Okay, okay," Changsun smiles a little. "Then just promise to keep it for me until I find a woman to give it to. Deal?"
I hesitate a moment.
"Fine. Deal," I sigh and agree. Changsun smiles.
The light turns green. Changsun pulls up a little. But suddenly, there's a loud whirr and a honk. Changsun looks at me, his eyes wide. I turn to my right, but all I see is bright lights.
"Aimee!" Changsun suddenly reaches out to me, wrapping his arms around me as a car crashes into the side of the car. I feel the impact like a cannon in my head. I flashback to my own accident, where I'd thought I'd lost my legs. I flashback to the night Nobu was hit by a car and he lost his legs.
"Aimee!"
I heard Changsun's voice one last time before the pounding in my head was just too much and I blacked out.
"Aimee!" ShinWoo exclaimed as he saw her move slightly in the hospital bed.
"Ughh," she groaned and tried to sit up.
"No, no, lay down," ChoHee said from the other side of Aimee. "You're hurt pretty bad."
Aimee looked around. ShinWoo gritted his teeth, his heart breaking at the sight of Aimee and her injuries. She had two broken ribs, a mild concussion along with many severe cuts and bruises. Her right thigh had a huge gash going down, since the car that had crashed into her ahs jammed the door into her leg.
Aimee looked horrified as we explained her injuries to her.
"Aw, shit," she groaned. "I can feel myself aching all over."
"Do you want me to call the nurse to get some pain medicine for you?" ShinWoo stood slightly. Aimee shook her head and grabbed his hand. She looked at him, a soft smile on her face. ShinWoo reached over and gently touched her hair.
Seeming to get the message, ChoHee stood and left the room.
"Where are you parents?" Aimee asked. "And the kids?"
"At home," ShinWoo muttered. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel like crap," Aimee muttered, with a smile.
"And you're smiling about that?" ShinWoo had to smile a bit too. But he was so relieved. She looked a total mess. It was unlike him, but ShinWoo had been so worried. He was panicking and kept having crazy 'what if Aimee died' thoughts. It was very unpleasant.
"No, I'm smiling because you're here with me," Aimee replied. She touched his cheek. He held her hand there. He felt so bad for their argument now. It was stupid.
"Aimee, about the fight we had…" ShinWoo started. Aimee shushed him. She didn't say anything. She simply closed her eyes and smiled, her hand still stroking ShinWoo's cheek. He leaned forward and kissed her lightly.
Suddenly, her eyes shot open.
"Changsun!" she bolted upright in the bed, but then let out a cry ofpain.
"Aimee!" ShinWoo tried to make her lay back down. She fell back, but she was letting out gasps of pain and short little breaths. ShinWoo reached for the button for emergency.
"No," Aimee mumbled. "No. I'm okay."
Slowly, Aimee's breath went back to normal. She breathed slowly, looking at him. Tears filled her eyes.
"Where's Changsun?" she asked softly.
ShinWoo bit his lip. She stared at him. ShinWoo hesitated with the words. He didn't know how to tell her. He just…couldn't say it.
"Aimee he…" ShinWoo started out slowly. Aimee stared at him in disbelief, already knowing what he was going to say.
"Aimee he…"
"No!" Aimee screamed. "No, no, no, no, no!"
"Aimee he saved you," ShinWoo told her. "He wrapped his arms around you before the car hit. The impact crushed his arms and he died of blood loss from the severe gashes on his arms. But he saved you from being crushed by the impact. You're still hurt, but you would've died."
"No!" Aimee continued to scream, not listening to a word he was saying. "No! No!"
She was crying hysterically. ShinWoo didn't know what to do. He sighed, wrapping his arms around Aimee the best he could. He hugged her close as she cried and sobbed hysterically into his chest. She kept yelling, kept yelling.
"No, Changsun. No, no, no, no…"
I sat there, looking at his pale cold lifeless corpse. He lay on the morgue table, a large blue sheet covering him. His handsome face had deep gashes in it. I didn't dare look under the sheet to see how badly his arms were wounded. I kept staring at the gashes on his face.
They should have been on my face, I thought. I'm the one who should've been scarred.
I hold back my sobs. My eyes were already puffy and red. I didn't want to cry anymore. I sat alone in my wheelchair in the morgue. I use my arms to wheel just a bit closer to Changsun's body. In my lap, I pick up the black box. It was ripped, and you could see dark blood stains if you looked closely. I opened the box, bringing the diamond ring up to the light.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to Changsun. "I guess I won't be needing to keep this ring for you anymore."
A single tear slips from my eye. I wipe It away quickly. I lean towards Changsun's face. I see the gashes again. I want to kiss his cheek, but I can't bring myself to do it. I don't want to feel his cold dead skin against my lips. It would only confirm that he was really dead.
Sobs shake my body. I lean my forehead against the edge of the table and cry more. I tighten my fist around the diamond ring. Then, as I try to control my tears, I place the ring beside Changsun. I look over his handsome, gashed face. The last couple tears fall. One lands on his cheek and flows down as if it were his own.
I smile softly.
"Goodbye, Oppa."
ShinWoo stands outside the door of the morgue. Aimee had wanted time alone with Changsun. He prayed that Aimee wouldn't hurt herself. She had been so upset. She cried for hours. As ShinWoo turned and looked through the window on the door of the morgue, he saw Aimee take something out of a black box on her lap. She lifted it to the light.
ShinWoo's eyes widened as he saw it was a diamond ring. Aimee cried, her head against the table Changsun was on. The ring was in her fist.
Where did she get that ring? Had Changsun given it to her?
ShinWoo watched as she placed the ring on the table beside Changsun. She lingered only a moment before she headed back towards the door. ShinWoo stepped aside and opened the door for her to come through.
"Where's the person who hit our car?"
Those were the first words Aimee said to him as she came out.
"She's in the lobby. She didn't see the red light cause her kid in the backseat was acting up and she turned around to scold him. That's when she hit you guys," ShinWoo explained.
"Take me to her right now," Aimee demanded. ShinWoo was slightly concerned. He didn't think he had ever seen Aimee's eyes so cold and hard. The last time he'd seen her eyes like that…was three years ago when her father had died.
"Aimee, I think…" ShinWoo started.
"Take me to her!" Aimee squealed. "Now!"
"Aimee-"
"Aimee! ShinWoo!"
ShinWoo turned and saw Taekyung running over to them. Aimee didn't turn to look at him. She gritted her teeth. ShinWoo looked back at her. Her long hair was dirty and matted. Her eyes were red and cold. Her cheekbones looked sunken in and her skin was utterly pale. ShinWoo thought she looked a bit like she was dead, herself. He immediately pummeled that thought.
"I hopped a plane as soon as you called," TaeKyung told ShinWoo. He looked at Aimee. "Are you okay, Aimee?"
"Don't touch me," Aimee winced as TaeKyung moved to hug her. "Don't touch me. Everything I touch turns to shit."
"Aimee…" ShinWoo made a move to take her hand. Aimee winced and pulled her hand away.
"Take me to the woman who did this," Aimee demanded again. TaeKyung and ShinWoo exchanged looks.
"Aimee, Changsun was my friend too-" TaeKyung started.
"You didn't love him like I did!" Aimee snapped.
"Aimee, that's not fair," TaeKyung frowned. "Changsun was my hyung. You're not the only one hurting here."
But she's probably the one hurting the most…
That's what ShinWoo thought. Then, he thought about the ring he'd seen Aimee put beside Changsun. What had that been about? He was so confused.
"Let's go home, Aimee," TaeKyung said softly to Aimee. She didn't say a word to them as they pushed her wheelchair down the corridor towards the elevator.
Author's Note:
Anyway, uh, yeah. Two updates in a night! Hhaha. Yay me =) Probably won't update tomorrow though. Lots to do. Family reunion coming up and I need to clean out my house so my cousins can stay over. Ugh. Way too much work. This is what happens when I don't clean daily and let it all PILE UP until the last minute .
