Chapter Eleven
Charlie woke up with a heavy, sick feeling hanging over her after her confession the night before. In some ways, it was a huge weight off to have finally shared her secret with someone she trusted. Well, it was a weight off to have found someone she actually trusted that much. But sharing the truth had somehow made it all the more real and she was worried about the pressure it would put on Joey, especially being that she was living with Ruby.
"Mor…"
Joey was interrupted by Charlie running to the toilet to throw up.
By the time she came back, Joey was sitting up in bed looking rather bemused. Her hair was untidy from sleep and she looked adorable as far as Charlie was concerned.
"Sorry about that," the police officer said, crawling back into bed.
"If that's sympathy sickness, you're a bit late," Joey remarked, taking Charlie into her arms.
"I think I might be a bit stressed over… well, you know," Charlie said.
Joey nodded and kissed the top of her head.
"Either that or you're pregnant too," she joked.
Charlie laughed but felt a small twinge of panic twist inside her. She pushed it away. Now was a time to be happy with her girlfriend, not panic about something that wasn't even real.
It was a few days later and Charlie was relieved to find that Joey's behaviour towards either her or Ruby hadn't changed in the slightest. She was as relaxed and loving towards them as she always had been.
However, not all was feeling well inside her. For a while now, Charlie had been feeling off colour. She'd kept putting it down to all the stress surrounding their lives recently but she also couldn't get Joey's off hand pregnancy comment out of her head.
On her lunch break, she sneaked off to a pharmacy way out on the edge of town to reduce the chances of bumping into anyone she knew. She went to a café and ordered lunch before heading into the toilet to take the test.
Last time she had taken a test like this, she had been a teenager and pregnant with Ruby. It had felt like the end of the world. And now, as she watched the stick indicate that she was indeed pregnant, it felt the same – only this time, it was all her own fault.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Joey asked.
Charlie had arrived home subdued, as she tried to process her latest drama. She sat at the kitchen table while her generous girlfriend cooked for the whole family. While she wasn't working, she wasn't contributing as much as she would like to when it came to finances. Leah had said it was fine but Joey was determined to contribute in her own way whenever she could.
"Charlie?" she nudged.
The police officer looked up sharply.
"Sorry, what?" she managed.
Joey came to sit in the other chair and took her hands, looking her in the eye.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," Charlie lied.
"What happened to full, uncensored honesty?" Joey said, reminding her of her own promise.
Charlie gazed at her. Joey might well be the most understanding person that she had ever met but she knew this would be a step too far. She might have been kind about her confession regarding Ruby but there was no way she would stand by her if she knew she was pregnant with Hugo's baby – from the one night stand that had ended their relationship the first time around.
"Is it about the stuff you told me the other night?" Joey asked.
Charlie latched onto it without thinking.
"Yeah," she lied. "Talking about it just brought it all back again."
Joey nodded in understanding. She leant forward and kissed her gently on the lips.
"I know it's hard," she said. "And seeing me begin to show and everything must remind you a lot of… stuff. But I think you're really brave for what you went through and I'm touched that you could be so honest with me about it. And if you ever need to talk about anything… anything at all, I'm here, okay? You listened for hours when I was trying to deal with what Robbo did to me so if you need to…"
Charlie smiled weakly. Tears stung her eyes. Noticing, Joey reached out to hold her.
"I love you, Charlie," she said. "There's nothing we can't face as long as we're together."
Charlie clung to her for all she was worth.
That night in bed, Charlie just couldn't seem to settle. While Joey seemed to be blossoming in her pregnancy and starting to accept that she was really going to have a baby, Charlie was in utter turmoil. She felt the familiar cramps she had endured when she'd been pregnant with Ruby and she wondered now why it had taken so long to figure out what was wrong. She had worked out that she was eight weeks and she had no idea what to do about it.
"Sweetheart, please tell me what I can do to make things better," Joey requested.
Charlie rolled over and snuggled up to her. She wanted to tell her the truth. But she knew she would lose her all over again. And if that happened, it would be the end of her world.
Next time… Charlie has an emergency while Joey comes face to face with Hugo…
