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Author's Note: I own no claim over anything but the story line, and realize I am taking a great liberty with history (but that's what fanfic is for, right!) =) And yes, in case you were wondering, the title of this story is in reference to the wonderful 1966 movie starring Paul Scofield as Sir Thomas More.
Chapter 11 Music: Not Gonna Die by Skillet (I consider this a must listen to for this chapter BUT if you do, you need to start at minute 4:00 of Good to Be Alive by Skillet ... the interlude between songs is fantastic!)
Interlude (end of Good to Be Alive):
Despair! You come to me / With your poison and your misery
Oh, death! You come to sting / With your poison and your misery
[choir]
Death! Death! Death! Death!
Death surrounds me! Singing to me softly! / Death, its shadows! Spreads its wings around me!
In the night, close your eyes, or it will come! (Death, death, comes, it will come)
This is how it feels when you're bent and broken / This is how it feels when your dignity is stolen (singing to me softly)
In the night, close your eyes, or it will come! (Death, death, comes, it will come)
Creeping in the shadows, Creeping in my mind
Death! Death! / Don't close your eyes!
The Twelfth Night feast arrived quicker than Mary deemed possible. Though now eating for two, Mary tried not to indulge her appetite, for many of the foods being served did not sound appealing to her changing body. It was also the fact Francis insisted on tasting every bit of her food himself. Ever since she told Francis the news, he began to hover. He did not want her to walk too far, or dance too much, or do anything that might upset her delicate balance.
Mary was going stir crazy.
It also meant her time with Sebastian was limited. She was eagerly anticipating Francis' trip to England with his father. They would leave in two days, and it could not arrive soon enough. Mary was counting the hours until she could happily flee into Sebastian's waiting arms.
The following day's Epiphany mass was spectacular. It was a truly regal event. Though Mary had gifted the custom-made rattle to Sebastian weeks before, she saved the one for Francis until after the mass. The royal version was studded in precious jewels, though the coral ball at the end matched it's more homely counterpart.
Francis was thrilled at Mary's thoughtfulness. He showed it to everyone, much to Mary's dismay. Francis could be lovingly selfish to a fault.
Francis visited her unexpectedly that night, only asking to hold her and their child close before he left. She cringed when he mentioned their child, but hoped he would not detect her lack of enthusiasm. It still saddened her to deceive Francis, for he truly seemed eager to be a father.
"Are you sure you are okay with me leaving for England? I can stay if you like." Mary jumped as she spoke, thinking he had fallen asleep awhile ago.
"Yes, Francis, I will be fine. I think it will be good for you to go and meet the new Queen. After all, we may be enemies one day."
"True indeed. Maybe this visit will help France start anew with England." He continued to prattle on, and Mary easily feel asleep to his continually talking. She tried to envision it was Sebastian's arms around her, but they were not the same.
In less than a day, she could really have his arms around her if she wanted.
Mary tried to wait a full two days before visiting Sebastian. Maybe it was the guilt she felt for deceiving Francis causing her to delay. Or maybe it was the sudden nightmares. Nightmares that included Mary covered in blood, Sebastian's blood, that kept her away. Either way, by the end of the second full day, she had lost all resolve, and fled eagerly down the secret passage to his chambers.
She continued the same pattern every evening for two weeks, waiting until her ladies were gone and hopefully fast asleep before sweeping her robe around her shoulders, gently opening the secret door, and disappearing into the castle depths.
By the end of those two weeks, Mary had grown accustomed to her evening ventures. When Francis and King Henry returned, she knew it would be difficult to resume her previous lifestyle. She laid comfortably in Sebastian's bed, ensconced warmly within the sheets and his arms. The glow from the fire cast a reddish hue on Mary's already pinkened skin. Her eyes followed the flames as they rose and fell, dancing eerily amongst the wood. For a brief moment, Mary felt the flames rise up and surround her, choking her breath and stinging her eyes. But then she remembered only heretics were burned. The cost of treason was a sharp axe, and not a fiery post. Even with the joyous Twelfth Night and Epiphany celebrations, Mary's mind continually went to the worst case scenario. Her hands went protectively to her belly, slightly swollen now. She knew her morbid thoughts stemmed from her maternal instincts beginning to surface. Sighing, she wished she could just enjoy this moment. She wanted to relax in the comfort of Sebastian's arms, the feel of his skin against hers, and the way he hummed softly in her ear, his hand caressing her slightly swollen belly. She snuggled back further against his chest, wiggling her hips as she sought his warmth. Her body trembled as a deep chuckle escaped him.
"Honestly, Mary. Again?" His lips skimmed her bared shoulder, his breath tingling the sensitive skin. "Not that I am complaining, really."
"No, Bash, I am exhausted. I am trying not to lose this memory of us, here, together in this moment." She hesitated, afraid to continue on. "Deep inside, I feel you slipping away." Sebastian raised himself up on an elbow, looking over Mary's back towards her hidden face. She rolled onto her back to gaze up at him. Though she smiled, the lines of worry etched themselves across her features.
"Mary, I am not leaving you. No. Never would I leave you." His free arm gripped her exposed one, soothingly stroking her shoulder bone with his thumb. Mary refused to meet his gaze, but glanced back at the fire. "Something is troubling you, what is it?"
Mary reached her arm around Sebastian's back, pulling him down and flush against her. Hooking her leg around his hip, it was as if she was trying to merge them into one person.
"I know we have become one in the carnal sense, but I do not think we can actually become one person. I do enjoy you trying though." Sebastian aided in her efforts, pushing his hands in to the small of her back, careful to not push her growing belly to roughly against him.
"I cannot put into words what is bothering me. Maybe my maternal instincts are surfacing, but I want to protect you, keep you safe, from something hiding in the shadows."
"Now you are beginning to sound like Nostradamus. Has my child effected you in such a way?"
Mary smiled up at her lover, feeling the heat and need rise within her again at his acknowledgment of their child. She blushed in remembrance of the actions that created this child. The same actions she knew she would be indulging in again shortly. She had given up the thought of not laying with Sebastian while carrying his child. If only the nuns could see me now, Mary thought, inwardly laughing.
"Your child has effected me in the best way possible." She abruptly captured his lips with hers, a hand sneaking down to roughly dig her nails into his hip. Refusing to break their contact, he rolled them over, moving carefully over their child. Her legs parted automatically, framing his hips with her thighs, as her lips sought his desperately. She heard her name whispered huskily as he braced his weight above her, ready to begin their timeless dance.
"Dear God, Sebastian."
He protectively dropped his body to cover Mary's, his head whipping around to his now open door. Diane stood in the doorway, her eyes wide in shock. She hastily shut his door, locking it in the process. She glanced back at her son before averting her eyes to the ceiling. Catching her son in the throes of passion was not what she had expected of the evening. It was hard not to glance back towards his bed, watching as he carefully maneuvered off the dark-haired beauty whom Diane thought she knew.
"Please do not bother attempting to hide your identity Mary, I know it is you." The movement from the bed was sudden, as Mary sat up to stare at Diane, holding the sheets protectively to her chest. Sebastian sat up beside Mary, his head hung in defeat. The questioning look Mary shot Sebastian reminded Diane she had a voice. "Do not blame Sebastian, Mary, he never said a word to me. I am his mother. There are some things I just know."
"Why are you here, mother?" Diane knew her son was irritated by the sound of his voice, but she had not the time to worry. He needed to act, and act quickly.
"Not to interrupt this sordid affair, that was not my intention. Though I must say, Sebastian, must you really defile a pregnant woman?" Sebastian made to leave the bed when Mary placed a stopping arm in front of him.
"There is no defiling going on, Diane. He was doing nothing that I did not ask him too. But you have come with bad news, have you not? I sense a change in the air." Mary whispered, tilting her head questioningly at Diane.
"You are perceptive, Mary. Yes, I am hear to tell you, my dear son, you must leave tonight." Diane now approached Sebastian, reaching a hand tentatively towards his arm. "I beg of you, leave within the hour. I have it on good authority the Queen's mercenaries are being told to hunt you down and kill you, tonight. You have an hour, maybe less."
"What? The guards will not allow mercenaries to act within their walls." Sebastian now stood, his nakedness not a hindrance to him.
"They have been told to not interfere, on pain of potential poisoning should they attempt to stop them. You must pack your things and leave now. Leave the castle. Leave France."
"Leave France? You cannot be serious!" Though he did not plan to leave, Sebastian began gathering his clothes, pulling his trousers on.
"Why do you frighten him so? If Catherine really planned to kill Bash, Henry will know as soon as he returns and her life will be forfeit." Mary finally spoke, rising herself from the bed and wrapping her robe around herself.
"The guards do not know the mercenaries plans, only to let them be. If Bash were to disappear, no one would know. Especially if another body is randomly found murdered, it would be suspected they were the mercenaries intended victim. Catherine has this well planned. She fears Sebastian will overthrow Francis, and will do anything, including murder, to make sure that never happens. But enough of this talking, you must leave my son."
"And go where? You said out of France, but where would that be?" Sebastian was now fully dressed, his sword already wrapped around his waist.
"Anywhere, just away from here."
Mary turned toward the door as the sound of footsteps echoed down the hall. As Diane's words began to sink in, Mary fought to suppress the panic rising inside. Where could he go? Where could he go?
"Scotland. Go to Scotland. You can seek political asylum from my mother." Mary started around the bed, moving towards the secret door that she had used earlier in the night when she first sought Sebastian's company. "Come, let us to my chambers. I need to write my mother a quick note of explanation. You will need my signet ring as well."
He grabbed her arm while she opened the door, giving Mary a moment's pause. "Do you really want me to leave? I will fight."
A tear escaped Mary's eye as she looked at Bash's face. Just a few minutes earlier they were thoroughly enjoying each others' company. Now, his life was in imminent danger.
"No, but you must if it will save your life." She roughly grabbed his hand, placing it gently on the small swell of her stomach. "This child need you. I need you. Alive."
"Then to Scotland I will go."
They raced down the hidden passageways. Mary jumped at any sound that was not created by their six feet. She prayed her ladies were already asleep so that her room would be vacant. As she cautiously opened the door, she realized her prayer had been answered. There was not a soul in sight.
Running to her desk, Mary quickly wrote a note of explanation to her mother. Please take care of this man. He is most precious to me, and his life is in danger. Mary added a few additional words, before sealing the note with her personal crest. Reaching behind the desk, she fiddled with a few knobs before finding the one which released a tiny door on the right side. Pulling it open, Mary grabbed her second signet ring. She had had an additional one made for such a situation. Though she never dreamed she would be sending it with Sebastian, hoping her mother would believe his story and take him under her protection.
"Here, take these. My mother will understand." She thrust them in Sebastian's waiting hands. She turned away from him, the tears now flowing uncontrollably. He appeared in front of her, pulling her shaking body into his arms.
"Mary, I love you. I will always love you. Take care of my child. I promise to see you soon." Mary felt her hands grasp frantically at his jacket, pulling him downwards until she could look him directly in the face.
"I love you, Bash. As your Queen, I order you to come back to me." She held his gaze, begging him to see the pain she felt.
"I will, Mary. I have no intention of dying tonight."
She kissed him with all the might she could muster. Her hands feverishly held his face. They could both taste her salty tears.
"Go now, before I order you to stay with me." She whispered, kissing him gently one last time. He held her a moment longer, before leaving her standing there alone and cold. Stopping in front of Diane, he gave his mother a brief hug, exchanging no words as none were needed. Glancing behind her, Mary caught his eyes one last time before he closed the secret passageway door.
She ran to her window that overlooked the castle entrance. The minutes ticked by agonizingly slow as she waited to see his figure. When she saw the hooded man appear, she knew it was him. Even in the darkness, his movements were graceful and skillfully planned. She lost sight of him when he entered the stables, but only a few minutes later he appeared leading a horse. Her fingers clawed at her windows, leaving trails in the condensation. She wanted to watch his figure until she could see him no longer.
Diane's arms pulled her away from the window when the sobs threatened to topple Mary over. She cried endlessly into Diane's shoulder, not caring that she never really liked the woman, even though she was Sebastian's mother.
Mary could barely hear the next words Diane uttered, as her own cries filled her ears.
"Sebastian has never broken a promise. Take care of his child. He will come back to you."
